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Advice married man


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I am 38 yrs old 2 kids ( 8 and 17) I was in a relationship with my ex for 21 years and things ended. Fast forward 6 months I met a wonderful man who I am with 10 months and in love. He is married but separated 2 years now but I have been told he had affair on wife who was with 17yrs and left family home.i was also told he fractured wife's face years ago and was mentally and physically abusive with gambling issues. I think she just obsessed with him and controlling him. I have never met his kids as she stopped contact cuz his 6 yr old daughter said she was smacking her but wen investigated by police was dropped by lack of evidence and also that he was restraining and handling his disabled son inappropriately. His oldest son has not been in contact since marriage ended.. I can't see any truth in this as I can't see him capable of any of this. The ex has never contacted me or bad mouthed me so not that we have any history. There are no signs of divorce and I have never been married but would like to be some day. I love this man so much. Any advice or thoughts on this?

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Hey guys

 

Thank you. I know it's the right thing to do but I keep thinking it couldn't be possible. He is so calm caring and romantic. His ex asked him to reconcile at start of our relationship and he said no?? What if she is just controlling him and jealous that he is with me ?

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Hey guys

 

Thank you. I know it's the right thing to do but I keep thinking it couldn't be possible. He is so calm caring and romantic. His ex asked him to reconcile at start of our relationship and he said no?? What if she is just controlling him and jealous that he is with me ?

 

So was mine, until I saw at the end his callous nature rear its ugly head.

I'm not judging, mine has a first wife on a missing persons list, I still got involved.

He divorced his second wife. I knew of the domestic assaults because he told me.

Who picks their wife up and puts her out on the porch and locks the door?

I thought wow she must have really ticked him off, because he's so sweet and calm and good natured.

Pfftttt....... abusers are really skilled at hiding their true nature.

 

I advise you seriously get out of this before you fall deeper in.

And his ex wanting him back is meaningless. Abused women typically seek reconciliation with their abuser.

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Where did you hear all of this? From a reliable source? I would think that what you've heard is likely to have a least a kernel of truth to it, and a kernel is enough to say this is not a wonderful man.

So many serious red flags here that to bring your own children into his sphere is extremely troubling. I'm sorry.

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I am 38 yrs old 2 kids ( 8 and 17) I was in a relationship with my ex for 21 years and things ended. Fast forward 6 months I met a wonderful man who I am with 10 months and in love. He is married but separated 2 years now but I have been told he had affair on wife who was with 17yrs and left family home.i was also told he fractured wife's face years ago and was mentally and physically abusive with gambling issues. I think she just obsessed with him and controlling him. I have never met his kids as she stopped contact cuz his 6 yr old daughter said she was smacking her but wen investigated by police was dropped by lack of evidence and also that he was restraining and handling his disabled son inappropriately. His oldest son has not been in contact since marriage ended.. I can't see any truth in this as I can't see him capable of any of this. The ex has never contacted me or bad mouthed me so not that we have any history. There are no signs of divorce and I have never been married but would like to be some day. I love this man so much. Any advice or thoughts on this?

 

One more thing. For me, the married aspect is the least of it. The stuff I bolded is the horrifying stuff for me.

 

In terms of your own reaction to these aspects, are you saying that he didn't fracture his wife's face and had gambling issues but that these were stories made up by a controlling wife, or are you saying that he did fracture his wife's face and had gambling issues but her controlling nature somehow justifies it?

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Hey guys

 

Thank you. I know it's the right thing to do but I keep thinking it couldn't be possible. He is so calm caring and romantic. His ex asked him to reconcile at start of our relationship and he said no?? What if she is just controlling him and jealous that he is with me ?

 

Think of his son. Their is a reason why he wants nothing to do with him. Find a more compassionate and caring partner.

 

He knows.

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His ex wife's friend who I didn't know was my mutual friend . She's not a close friend though .
Also she had a restraining order against him for 6 months as she said she felt threatened but that is lifted now. They have been in and out of courts since I met him
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I can't see any truth in this as I can't see him capable of any of this.

 

Firstly, he cheated on his wife. He ADMITS this to you.

Secondly, his own child - his own flesh and blood - refuses to speak to him. Boys especially usually crave contact with their dads.

The fact that he was even ACCUSED of hitting his daughter to the point that charges were filed -- doesn't that make you think?

And he physically abused his wife.

 

ALso HE IS STILL MARRIED!! He cannot commit to you because he is married.

I knew someone whose husband was a raging gambler and alcoholic and you know what she said "well, he never told me he was an alcoholic. If he did, i wouldn't have married him" despite it being obvious.

 

Go get your head on straight and find a decent man who didn't cheat on his wife and now is cheating on her with YOU.

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