Do guys say"I love you" that they don't mean it?

I have seen a guy who is 8 years younger than me for almost half year. Basically we just hooked up and nothing else

We never hang out even though I had complained many times that I don't just want to meet in the bedroom, that I want to go out with him as well

But he never asked me out for a date. He even can't text me, just emails

I clearly know that this young guy just wants me for sex, nothing more

I have tried to break things off many times, and told him not to contact me anymore. I also insulted him sometimes.

But every time he would come back and put sweet things in my ears then I would give in and agree to meet him again

My question is, he had told me that "I love you" many times (his words don't match with his actions, I know), so a guy can say "i love you" so easy just to get into a woman's pants ? Last time when I told him if I am only for his bedroom fun I am not longer seeing him, he was like "no, you mean more than that to me, I love you, I truly do"... Sounds like he does care for me;I didn't take his words seriously, but it confused me a bit

so a guy can say "i love you" so easy just to get into a woman's pants ? (

Yes..They can.

I have seen a guy who is 8 years younger than me for almost half year. Basically we just hooked up and nothing else

We never hang out even though I had complained many times that I don't just want to meet in the bedroom, that I want to go out with him as well

But he never asked me out for a date. He even can't text me, just emails

I clearly know that this young guy just wants me for sex, nothing more

 

I have tried to break things off many times, and told him not to contact me anymore. I also insulted him sometimes.

But every time he would come back and put sweet things in my ears then I would give in and agree to meet him again

My question is, he had told me that "I love you" many times (his words don't match with his actions, I know), so a guy can say "i love you" so easy just to get into a woman's pants ? Last time when I told him if I am only for his bedroom fun I am not longer seeing him, he was like "no, you mean more than that to me, I love you, I truly do"... Sounds like he does care for me;I didn't take his words seriously, but it confused me a bit

 

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

 

6 months into dating, and you guys only meet up in the bedroom? (See Above)

 

Not to be hard on you either lilymay, but it's a two-way street. You say you wanted those things, but continued to invite him to your place, and then bedroom. Or vise-versa.

 

This guy not only doesn't mean what he's saying, he's only saying it to get into your pants. And it's working. It's worked for nearly 6 months, and it will work for another 6 if you allow it.

 

Decide if you REALLY want to be "f*buddies" or not. And if not then in your particular situation, the only other option will be to cut him off entirely, because whatever he's been saying to you continues to have you smitten enough to open your front door, and walk him through your bedroom door.

 

The next guy you decide to talk to, don't exchange addresses, don't meet up at one another's home (OR hotel) for 6 months. Only meet at public places, and have an exit strategy on why you can't continue things back at their place.. But this is all moving forward, because things with this current guy has only taken one direction.

I'm not sure where your confusion lies. As you stated, "basically we just hooked up and nothing else," which puts you in the category of FWB's. This is not the same as dating. You have a better chance of finding a relationship if you present yourself as relationship material, rather than booty call material.

And yes, saying "I love you," along with promising you the moon is classic and has been known to work. (No offense to the male population)

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

 

6 months into dating, and you guys only meet up in the bedroom? (See Above)

 

Not to be hard on you either lilymay, but it's a two-way street. You say you wanted those things, but continued to invite him to your place, and then bedroom. Or vise-versa.

 

This guy not only doesn't mean what he's saying, he's only saying it to get into your pants. And it's working. It's worked for nearly 6 months, and it will work for another 6 if you allow it.

 

Decide if you REALLY want to be "f*buddies" or not. And if not then in your particular situation, the only other option will be to cut him off entirely, because whatever he's been saying to you continues to have you smitten enough to open your front door, and walk him through your bedroom door.

 

The next guy you decide to talk to, don't exchange addresses, don't meet up at one another's home (OR hotel) for 6 months. Only meet at public places, and have an exit strategy on why you can't continue things back at their place.. But this is all moving forward, because things with this current guy has only taken one direction.

No I have never invited him to my place. He said he wanted to meet at my place then I agreed.

Once he said that he thought it was all I wanted, but I told him many times that I don't want sex only, yet he still hasn't asked me out for a date

Plus this guy is a big liar. For example, he would give me illogically excuse for not being able to text me. Such as his phone broken down, his phone can't text...

He never asked you out on a date because he never had to. He never texts because he doesn't have to.

Sorry but the reason he doesn't do these things is because you have enabled them. That was all your doing.

Early days if you had refused to meet at yours or his, he would have had to have asked you out even if all he wanted to do was get into your pants. His thoughts were likely, I don't have to spend money on a date to get into this girls pants, she lets me anyway.

He gets replies to all emails, so why does he need to text to get into your pants when an email gets him there.

And yes he does love you. He loves the fact that it takes no effort to get you into bed. But his love is not a romantic love. If you end it he will love the next girl who is so obliging to his sexual wants.

He is not interested in a relationship with you apart from a sexual one.

It will never become the relationship you want. And you are preventing yourself from getting that with someone else by giving your time to him.

Block his email address and block his number because he will text you when he realises his emails are not received or replied to. But his intentions will remain the same.

Move on

I'm not sure where your confusion lies. As you stated, "basically we just hooked up and nothing else," which puts you in the category of FWB's. This is not the same as dating. You have a better chance of finding a relationship if you present yourself as relationship material, rather than booty call material.

 

And yes, saying "I love you," along with promising you the moon is classic and has been known to work. (No offense to the male population)

My confusion is, when I questioned he only wants sex, he would say stuff like " I truly love you; I know I said something in the past, but I do really love you"..

If I were a guy, I would just say "I love you" only, not the like " I truly love you, I do really love you"

Once he said that he thought it was all I wanted, but I told him many times that I don't want sex only, yet he still hasn't asked me out for a date

This is because your actions didn't match your words. As I said before, it's all in the way you present yourself.

No offense, but you've taught him that all he has to do is say "I love you" and there's his free pass to get in your pants.

There is lots to say this is incorrect, depending on what love means to you. Have an open mind and consider this:

Wanting the sex only is unrelated to whether he loves you. You ask about his intentions and he answers about his emotions.

He never asked you out on a date because he never had to. He never texts because he doesn't have to.

 

Sorry but the reason he doesn't do these things is because you have enabled them. That was all your doing.

 

Early days if you had refused to meet at yours or his, he would have had to have asked you out even if all he wanted to do was get into your pants. His thoughts were likely, I don't have to spend money on a date to get into this girls pants, she lets me anyway.

 

He gets replies to all emails, so why does he need to text to get into your pants when an email gets him there.

 

And yes he does love you. He loves the fact that it takes no effort to get you into bed. But his love is not a romantic love. If you end it he will love the next girl who is so obliging to his sexual wants.

 

He is not interested in a relationship with you apart from a sexual one.

It will never become the relationship you want. And you are preventing yourself from getting that with someone else by giving your time to him.

 

Block his email address and block his number because he will text you when he realises his emails are not received or replied to. But his intentions will remain the same.

 

Move on

Yesterday I told him again we should cut all the contacts because I am no longer up for any hook ups. I said I am looking for a boyfriend, not someone comes and leaves after sex. He didn't say anything back but I guess he will email me again when he feels like it

I won't give it to him again unless he asks me out for a date. otherwise I will never meet him any more

There is lots to say this is incorrect, depending on what love means to you. Have an open mind and consider this:

 

Wanting the sex only is unrelated to whether he loves you. You ask about his intentions and he answers about his emotions.

I think that if he loved me, he would have asked me out for dates, he would want to spend time with me.

Instead, all he has done to me was just quick sex and leave, and these sweet talks.

He never showed me his place, never texted me(giving me lots of lame excuses that he couldn't text), and never introduced me any of his friends. Not mention that he never let us be seen in public

I think that if he loved me, he would have asked me out for dates, he would want to spend time with me.

Instead, all he has done to me was just quick sex and leave, and these sweet talks.

He never showed me his place, never texted me(giving me lots of lame excuses that he couldn't text), and never introduced me any of his friends. Not mention that he never let us be seen in public

That's right.

So he is saying something he doesn't mean, or he is using the word love in a way that is different from how you understand the word.

It doesn't matter which, does it? He has shown you his intentions. How he feels about you is irrelevant. How you feel about this arrangement is all that matters.

Yesterday when you told him you should cut off contact was you hoping for a response from him to suggest the contrary.

I know you should cut off contact, you know you should. Simply saying it is not doing it.

Are you ready to actually do what you know you should do?

By that means, you don't have to make him aware of it, you owe him nothing.

Telling him should is telling him you won't.

Again you are making this easy for him.

You not only should,but need to block him.

You are hoping that he values you more than he has shown. He doesn't.

Sorry but think about how you would feel if you received such an email from an ex you no longer want to date.

It would mean nothing right?

This guy likely read it, went back to what he was doing before reading it without giving it any thought.

You are losing dignity with every message you send and becoming lower in his estimation of you. You are not behaving in a desirable manner at all. So even if he had any interest in dating you , he has less inclination to do so now.

Sorry, but you need to hit the block button.

Both men AND women can lie about that, or other things. Pretty much any time someone wants something from you or doesn't want to lose a good thing they can lie and say what they know the other person wants to hear, just to keep from losing it.

In this case, why wouldn't he lie? As long as he does he gets free sex with no commitment and little effort. He doesn't have to spend money and time dating you, he doesn't have to be accountable for his actions, he can simply say some cheap phrases and get what he wants--no strings attached sex.

Easy peasy for him. Of course he's going to say that to you when he knows and has had it proven that it is what makes you keep providing him with what he wants.

This is a trait manipulative people, not just guys, not just gals, but people have. They don't usually have a whole lot of empathy and they see people as commodities to be managed. And if lying gets them that control and whatever it is they want, of course they're going to lie.

Think "politician" the next time he starts in instead of "relationship" and I think you'll get the point.

Why does he do it? Because he can.

Actions do mean more than words and when the two don't match it's actually on you to decide when you are going to cut someone out of your life like that. This is a skill you need to develop for people in all manner of situations, because yes people lie. It's just at some point you need to stop trying to get them to not lie or to give you what you want when you know that's just not going to happen.

Trying to wait for this guy to be an honest full partner in a loving sane relationship is probably less likely than you winning the lottery, so go buy lottery tickets and find someone else who will really date you. And not just tell you what you want to hear that he knows will keep you in your place.

P.S. When someone truly loves you and wants to be in a full relationship with you, they show you off to the world. They want to make sure everyone knows you two are together. They don't wait around for someone else to step in and they want you to be a part of their life. He clearly doesn't, so no, sorry dear, it's very clear from here he loves the sex, but not you. Not personally.

You know that this guy is just using you. And no, HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!

You need to gather some self respect and block him. Then, I would try to understand why you treat yourself this way.

Yesterday when you told him you should cut off contact was you hoping for a response from him to suggest the contrary.

I know you should cut off contact, you know you should. Simply saying it is not doing it.

 

Are you ready to actually do what you know you should do?

 

By that means, you don't have to make him aware of it, you owe him nothing.

Telling him should is telling him you won't.

Again you are making this easy for him.

 

You not only should,but need to block him.

 

You are hoping that he values you more than he has shown. He doesn't.

 

Sorry but think about how you would feel if you received such an email from an ex you no longer want to date.

It would mean nothing right?

 

This guy likely read it, went back to what he was doing before reading it without giving it any thought.

 

You are losing dignity with every message you send and becoming lower in his estimation of you. You are not behaving in a desirable manner at all. So even if he had any interest in dating you , he has less inclination to do so now.

 

Sorry, but you need to hit the block button.

I agree what you said. I could just ignore all his emails or texts

Yesterday his roommate (I never met him, I always think it was him who was pretending his roommate) texted me saying that he was seriously hurt from making BBQ on Monday and is now in hospital. I asked if I could visit him he said no. Then I realized it must be a lie as well (he did this not only one time). So I assumed that he was giving his excuse of not being able to meet me on Tuesday or possibly might not be able to see me for a while (I am sure he is dating some other girl/girls).So I told "his roommate" that I am not gonna see him again because we are not on the same page. Then "his roommate" said he would tell him but not sure if he would agree...

I never initiated any contact with him. "His roommate" texts me when I don't reply to his emails on time

Yesterday I told him again we should cut all the contacts because I am no longer up for any hook ups. I said I am looking for a boyfriend, not someone comes and leaves after sex. He didn't say anything back but I guess he will email me again when he feels like it

 

I won't give it to him again unless he asks me out for a date. otherwise I will never meet him any more

This is sad! Where is your self respect??? Is all it takes is date? He has shown you for the last six months that he does not care about you.

I agree what you said. I could just ignore all his emails or texts

Yesterday his roommate (I never met him, I always think it was him who was pretending his roommate) texted me saying that he was seriously hurt from making BBQ on Monday and is now in hospital. I asked if I could visit him he said no. Then I realized it must be a lie as well (he did this not only one time). So I assumed that he was giving his excuse of not being able to meet me on Tuesday or possibly might not be able to see me for a while (I am sure he is dating some other girl/girls).So I told "his roommate" that I am not gonna see him again because we are not on the same page. Then "his roommate" said he would tell him but not sure if he would agree...

 

I never initiated any contact with him. "His roommate" texts me when I don't reply to his emails on time

Wow! This guy goes to great lengths to keep you hanging around for sex! He is a compulsive liar.

His "roommate" who you never met because your guy never deemed you important enough after 6 months to meet is now taking it upon himself to tell you that your guy is in hospital with injuries so bad that he can't text you himself yet well enough to respond to the same roommate that he doesn't want you to visit.

Of course his roommate is him.

He is a freak! And you are the butt of some freaks sick actions.

Yes you could ignore his emails but to date you haven't. You even reply to an imaginary roommate.

Why do you want to receive such crappy messages from a freak?

If you don't block him, you are allowing yourself to be used, laughed at.

I suggest you seek counselling to build up self respect.

OK, you get it, that this guy is a jerk. Yet you WANT him to choose you. Why?

At this point, you are doing this to yourself.

He - nor anyone else - rjghtfully has the power to say you are good enough.

Take that power back and tell yourself you are good enough. Over and over until you believe it.

So if he takes you out on a date - dinner, movie, whatever - but still only want a casual dating situation, no meeting friends or family, you're not his girlfriend, you just go on dates and have sex, that's acceptable to you?

If not, you should redefine what you really want or expect out of a dating situation and act accordingly. Chances are, what you want this guy can't provide.

Where are you two having sex if it's not at your place or at his place? Please don't tell me it's been car sex.

No I have never invited him to my place. He said he wanted to meet at my place then I agreed.

Once he said that he thought it was all I wanted, but I told him many times that I don't want sex only, yet he still hasn't asked me out for a date

Plus this guy is a big liar. For example, he would give me illogically excuse for not being able to text me. Such as his phone broken down, his phone can't text...

You sure he's not married?

You sure he's not married?

This thought crossed my mind too, it surely sounds like on top of not wanting more than casual sex with her, he is also hiding something.

I have seen a guy who is 8 years younger than me for almost half year. Basically we just hooked up and nothing else

We never hang out even though I had complained many times that I don't just want to meet in the bedroom, that I want to go out with him as well

But he never asked me out for a date. He even can't text me, just emails

I clearly know that this young guy just wants me for sex, nothing more

 

I have tried to break things off many times, and told him not to contact me anymore. I also insulted him sometimes.

But every time he would come back and put sweet things in my ears then I would give in and agree to meet him again

My question is, he had told me that "I love you" many times (his words don't match with his actions, I know), so a guy can say "i love you" so easy just to get into a woman's pants ? Last time when I told him if I am only for his bedroom fun I am not longer seeing him, he was like "no, you mean more than that to me, I love you, I truly do"... Sounds like he does care for me;I didn't take his words seriously, but it confused me a bit

 

He doesn't love you. If he did his actions would match his words and he would want to take you out places.

Only you can break this cycle. When he calls you don't be available....block him from everything and move on with your life.

Unfortunately, in this case, yes.

so a guy can say "i love you" so easy just to get into a woman's pants?