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Thread: Getting back together really does happen!

  1. #41
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    I was with my ex for a year and we broke up for 2 months and got back together for another 2 years. We just recently broke up again, but I feel that if you are meant to be with someone you will come back into each other's life one way or another. I've only had one ex in my life who didn't come back after some period of time, but even in that case we did talk a few years later and if I really wanted to push for a relationship with him again I'm sure it would have happened. The important thing is just to remember that you can't live your life just hoping they will come back, as it really does hinder the process of getting over them. The breakup happened for a reason, and in order to reconcile with someone successfully I almost feel like you have to completely get over them and start over again. It does happen though!

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    [quote=nomorelovish;3257938]The breakup happened for a reason, and in order to reconcile with someone successfully I almost feel like you have to completely get over them and start over again. It does happen though!

    No truer words have been spoken.

  3. #43
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    Originally Posted by justmyview
    Funnily enough, all my exs (apart from this last one) have come back to me. But by then, it was too late. I had moved on.

    People mention this kind of thing alot. That when the dumper finally comes back, which is what the dumpee always wanted, the dumpee had finally moved on and was over the dumper, and therefore it was too late.

    I've seen this stuff crop up here time and time again!

    Can anyone explain why this happens??
    Last edited by pace of ace; 03-27-2009 at 10:02 AM. Reason: typo

  4. #44

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    Originally Posted by pace of ace
    People mention this kind of thing alot. That when the dumper finally comes back, which is what the dumpee always wanted, the dumpee had finally moved on and was over the dumper, and therefore it was too late.

    I've seen this stuff crop up here time and time again!

    Can anyone explain why this happens??
    I personally think they see that you truly have moved on. You're out in the world getting on with your life and they become jealous that you're not there for them anymore.

    There is also the connection that they had with you. You were friends once, very close. They miss that. They may want to reestablish that friendship.

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  6. #45
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    I met couple this weekend who dated in high school, broke up and married other people, then ended up married to each other! It took like 10 years to find each other again, but they always loved each other and look what happened! Keep hoping!

  7. #46
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    you know what?

    While I heard about reconciliation story, I would also hear stories where people don't get back together. The ratio is around 1:4 (reconciliation


    Not trying to be a wet blanket here....But I am not really sure if I should have any hope....yet again who knows...relationships are different and some people who broke up might not have strong connection to begin with.


    I am also at the point where I question how strong the connection I had in my relationship was....I am not sure any more......Maybe my relationship was just another weak one where I thought there was true, deep love but in truth there never was....and it was anything but special...just one relationship where two people do boring, humdrum things together and never made an effort to grow together at all..we just drifted along...

    Sigh. I want to start over again..don't want to go back to the relationship...want to ditch the relationship but not my ex SO. I feel that we have potential...but I don't think he thinks the same.

  8. #47
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    I'm so happy someone started this threat because I 'come here' to get positive thoughts and very often I'm really disappointed. In most of the posts I read, 'move on and at some point you'll be over him.' And yes, it might happen. However, I didn't find this forum to hear that, every day I try to find someone here who could support my hope. That's what I'm looking for and positive stories will help me because the fact that people say to me 'open your eyes' doesn't kill my hope at all!!! It only makes me feel worse.

    And the forum is called 'geting back together.' There is another one that gives advice how to get over your boyfriend or girlfriend. But this one has a different purpose, I suppose

    My sister's story:

    She was with her boyfriend for a year. With a lot of tears she had to break up with him because he was going to Australia for 2 years! He started a new relationship there. My sister moved on as well. But after 2 years they saw each other for a day. He had to leave for Australia again. He came back after a month for 3 months and my sister now is in Australia and they live together and I think one day I'll be a witness of their wedding

  9. #48
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    Op ...why don't you define "success"? Ie is it being back for 1 year 2 years 5 years 15 years? ...heck even after a couple gets back after so many breakups to later get married but then say eventually get divorced, THEN what do you call it?

    The "happily after ending" didn't succeed In the final analysis did it?

    You're focusing IMO on the QUANITITY of time together instead of the QUALITY of time together and the growth acquired by both partners .
    IMO you're being unnecessarily judgemental (and I don't think you mean to be so please don't misinterpret me) with the idea underlying your post which is fundamentally about getting back together to stay together "happily ever after".... And if we don't achieve such then we have ''failed'' in some manner ....and this storybook goal is just that IMO: a strongly yearned for myth that while we all want for emotional and social stability, is nonetheless seldom achieved with just one person...furthermore, and for those very rare cases that do "last forever", its not without it blood sweat and tears....but nonetheless its a rarity.

    ... just because you breakup then get back together and repeat this dance again however many times until your relationship is broken for good should show most clearly that the vast majority of relationships don't last forever and to accept that fact... People change...sometimes couples are able to work through things together and yet sometimes they are not and consequently have to move on, despite repeated attempts of say counselling ...or after detachment and independence gained from prolonged NC ...or after year long breaks and/or reconciliation ....whatever.

    Saying goodbye doesn't necessarily mean that we are a failure or that life isn't still wonderful or that we can't grow into better people who later may find better fitting love if we have processed what worked and what didn't ... I know people HATE to accept that reality as it means more painful endings still to come and they look at themselves as failures (and most of us are in pain and denial on this forum) ...but accepting a breakup can also mean more good times ahead once healed and in a more mature inner space.

    The flow of life is one of constant change .... many friendships come and go as do changes in our jobs and careers right? Saying goodbye and moving on doesn't necessarily mean its a bad thing from a relationship that is no longer working despite our repeated attempts or wishes either ..''its just life''...simple .

    ....this post has been VERY therapeutic in helping me realize just how much we cling instead of going with the flow... and also how we can so frequently overinvest in ONE Person for our happiness instead of realizing that love can--and should--come from a multitude of sources.
    Last edited by canali; 04-05-2009 at 01:16 AM.

  10. #49
    Member wishingonastar's Avatar
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    This is exactly why I started this post! The forum IS called "getting back together" and this is a post about real stories. Focusing on the positive stories really helps.

  11. #50
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    I watched a special on John Lennon and him and Yoko broke up for 18 months and then they got back together and had a baby!

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