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EQD last won the day on August 10 2009

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About EQD

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  • Birthday 06/29/1987

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  1. guys who feel insecure in their masculinity or are under the impression that there are strong male and female roles that follow the housewifey and manprovider stereotype would usually not give the OP another look. there are a number of those guys out there and they proclaim that 'tomboys' arent their type and as a result they arent a tomboys type. however i did date an insecure guy once and made the mistake of accomodating myself to his insecurities or actually trying to 'help him' with them... what ended up happening is that he took advantage of that and became an emotional abuser over th
  2. Thats what i mean Mezu. DONT do anything to help HIM out with this. He can only help himself, and it seems like this is who he is. Tell him to suck it up. Thats the best thing for you to do, but his insecurity isnt your problem quite frankly. and its shouldering his burdons that will get you in trouble. i personally find that i cant be with someone who has a problem with me shooting better than them. Or fighting better than them. or drawing better than them, riding horses better than them. and so on and and so forth. It never worked out. But thats their problem. not mine.
  3. nope. never do anything different like that when its that much of a part of you. controllers are born out of their insecure tendencies. i know this very well. when you start to adapt to fix their problems then they take advantage of that and keep asking you more and more to change what you are doing to suit them. even though he isnt asking you to make him feel better about himself, if you oblige he might take that as incentive to start changing you. like if a baby whines to get his way and his mom picks him up. eventually they get spoiled and you will create a monster. my absolute b
  4. because she is doing something typically viewed as 'masculine' and she's great at it. half the things i do make most men feel bad because they traditionally are supposed to be the ones who excel at those things.. its alot of gender roles, and alot of self-esteem thats tied to certain subjects. when you violate those some people can feel insecure and threatened. Case and point the OP's problem. He doesnt feel like much of the manly protector who dominates his woman in all areas. She's a freggin black belt! Basically a guy has two natural reactions to that, its to feel threatened or enj
  5. but remember... some men just cant handle strong women. its a fact. they never become at ease with girls like you and me. the solution that i've found is simply to find someone who can. the relationships are much more enjoyable and fun.
  6. hahaha!! congratulations you have just emasculated your bf! its hard not to do when you dominate their 'territories' or gender roles. i hope this doesnt become an issue again. its an insecurity thing. That stuff never flew well with me, because they are spoilsports if they cant beat you at something. they get upset and whats worse is that some guys who are like this will actually REFUSE to learn and play with you because 'you are better at it than they are' muh... i hope it works out well for you.. as i've said.
  7. ^sounds like xxxxx. balanced and fair? sorry but i definitely see alot of unreasonable conclusions being made by her, fly off the handle judgements transposed on her bf... by far nothing about that seems balanced or fair. but we can disagree. one thing i will say is that if she wants a partner in her MA interest she is likely barking up the wrong tree.
  8. Hey, i just want the truth of this. And personally its wasted time and wasted posts responding to skewed and bias information. as everyone else says. talk to him.
  9. ok, so now word for word. tell us about the conversation in which that has come up. he's apparently saying 'i dont like you doing this' (verbatim??) but not saying 'i dont want you doing this' right?
  10. ok i've read the entire thread again... and nowhere do i see that he is condemning her hobby. ANYWHERE. i just see her saying "I practice Hapkido three times a week and I won't stop just because my boyfriend wants me to. But I really don't understand why he doesn't like it. I have asked him, but he doesn't say much. My best friend says he is intimidated because I do martial arts and that maybe he thinks it's un-girl-like." its like taking one tiny fact, making it as small as possible and then getting a completely different persons perspective on it. for god sakes has he said "i dont l
  11. i think this sentence is all i was referring to and making a point of when i posted that. everyone got a complete wrong impression when you posted information making it sound like he was demanding you stop doing MA. thats the point i was making. SO... if the object of posting was to receive good sound advice i believe your original post was misleading enough to get alot of strongly worded responses that dont adequately address your case. no matter how he has responded to you about your MA interest he is not saying 'quit this' and he doesnt really have to be pleased with everything
  12. so wait... you went from "Bf wants me to stop doing martial arts" to: "I think I was a little unclear, he hasn't actually said that he wants me to quit, but he has said that he doesn't like that I do it and he can look very uncomfortable when I go there. Also he does not want to talk about my training and don't like it when I talk about it with my friends. So I figure he'd be happier if I'd quit." i think everyone needs to read this part^^^ because of course posters are going to respond to what you are saying in your headline of the original post.. which is apparently NOT representin
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