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justletgo07

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About justletgo07

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  1. Thank you very much. These messages really help put my heart at ease.
  2. It's still really hard and it hurts. It has set me back months in just 24 hours...
  3. Hi everyone. Ex broke up with me a little over 2 months ago. I've been NC most of the time, and have been trying to focus on myself and healing. I had been making pretty good strides and wasn't constantly hurting anymore. Yesterday, I was contacted by a friend that she had heard a rumor that my ex now believes that I cheated...that she had suspected for a while and that she now believes it. As you can imagine, just hearing about my ex is pretty difficult, much less about something like this. To be clear, I never cheated on her, and I'm confused about where this might be coming from (an
  4. Try to go easy on yourself. You haven't been NC that long, and how you're feeling is normal. That hope takes a while to let go of, and by staying NC you're doing the best possible thing to move you toward letting go. Just like you shouldn't be worrying about whether NC will bring your ex back, you should also not dwell on whether NC will work to help you heal. Just take it one day at a time, and love yourself.
  5. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's no fun. I'd rely a lot less on the opinion of internet strangers in this case, and instead look at and listen to what she's saying and how she's acting. She's made it pretty clear what she wants and what she doesn't. Her kissing you and being close to you doesn't mean she wants to be in a relationship with you, and this is why it's always a good idea to step back from these sorts of situations when it's not clear that you're on the same page. Maybe she is avoidant, maybe she isn't. If you were together for nearly 2 years, then you know wh
  6. I'm going to disagree with the above. Seems a little bleak... Agree with other posters though. At this point, it's up to you whether you can let it go. If not, then you need to be honest with yourself and walk away and let this guy move on...
  7. I'm trying so hard to move on. I've been dreaming about you almost every night and I hate it. I'm struggling to concentrate at work. I'm realizing that you couldn't give me the love I needed for a long time, and that it has turned me into an insecure, uncertain mess. It's not your fault. I think you wanted your feelings to come back...we just broke a long time ago and I didn't want to admit that we couldn't go back, and neither did you. Thanks for trying for so long. I know you're also sad that your feelings couldn't come back. I miss you. You were my plan and my future. Now I have no idea
  8. I guess I just don't see the point of saying anything, especially if the door really is closed on your end. In my book, saying it without being prompted looks very much for show...you'd be saying it to see her reaction. Your longer message/post demonstrates that there are still a lot of raw feelings there, so it makes me question how much this is really about the door being closed. I get wanting to reject the dumper and have them feel a sliver of what they made you feel. I bet everyone here gets it. I just think that the way you're proposing to handle this makes it pretty apparent that this
  9. Don't be so hard on yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work, and he's a regular human like you and is likely plenty flawed in his own ways at this. And on wanting to meet up to do activities...he doesn't have to be romantically interested in you to want to do that stuff. I have no doubt that he enjoys your company. You guys used to spend a ton of time together, and even if his feelings have changed those things are hard to let go of. It's unfortunately not a reason to hope. Based on what you've said, you really haven't had any time away from each other to process the break-u
  10. Sounds like you're in a pretty vulnerable place at the moment. You pretty much still have all your eggs in this basket, and every move you make seems calculated toward trying to win him back. That's a tough spot to be in, and this forum is filled with stories of people in similar spots. My advice would be to stop dissecting the things he says and start looking at his actions - his words might seem confusing but his actions aren't. If he wanted to be with you, he would be, and he is choosing not to even when he knows that he could have you back. That says A LOT. It doesn't mean he doesn't li
  11. It's a very carefully worded, very clear answer. The romantic chapter of your relationship is closed...sounds like for good. She sounds like a really self-aware, thoughtful and intelligent person who cares very much about you and cherishes the relationship that you had, while recognizing it ultimately wasn't what she wanted. Up to you whether you can or want to be friends. I imagine you already know what you're capable of doing at this point.
  12. Seems that you already have quite a lot of perspective! I'm not sure that folks here are going to tell you anything you don't already know. I think it's normal to think that someone who has hurt you is special and different and that they brought out things you have never felt before or will never feel again. It's hard to take people off of a pedestal, even when they've hurt you. Feelings and all their crazy brain chemicals make people see what they want to see...and you're no different. You put up with things you never imagined you would because you need things to be how they are in your mi
  13. I'm also just out of an LDR. They are hard and it's so easy for one or both people to find someone they're interested in closer to home. It just happens, and it looks like this is what your ex has done. You're familiar to her, and she clearly has feelings for you, is attracted to you and cares about you...BUT it's clearly not enough. She doesn't want to commit to you and is willing to lose you forever. My suggestion to you would be to show her what that feels like. Disappear. LDR or not, if she wanted to be with you she would be. In terms of your plan, don't do it. The type of pressure t
  14. I wouldn't read too much into her saying that she "needs months." She's basically saying she wants to move on, date other people, etc. I wouldn't give her months. I'd give her until she contacts you and says she's changed her mind...however long that would take. Good luck man.
  15. I don't put a lot of weight in statistics or trends about this stuff...relationships and reconciliations aren't a game of chance. Every single situation is unique, and just because some people have reconciled doesn't have any bearing on whether I will/won't or otherwise. Similarly, I could go to the gym everyday, go to counseling, get a new job, new clothes, a nice haircut, the works...and in all likelihood it would make no difference. That isn't how this stuff works. I've never had an ex change their mind, and I don't expect this time to be any different, especially because the circumst
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