Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 240 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 2393

Thread: Getting back together really does happen!

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    139
    I always chuckle to myself when the inevitable "not all break-ups lead to reconciliations" and "I went back to an ex - what a waste of time" type comments pop up in a thread designed to be optimistic.

    As someone pointed out, there are a wealth of threads which demonstrate those points of view specifically. I think it's great to have one which shows they DO happen.

    Also, the old, unsubstantiated statistic gets trotted out about how 'rare' reconciliations are. Citing survey results would be really helpful, I think.

    I've no proof either way. What I would say, however, is that a reconciliation appears more likely to be effective (from the anecdotal evidence) IF a significant period of NC has been adhered to - a year or more. I would hazard a guess that the longer the period of NC, the more successful the reconciliation.

    I'm open to challenges on that view
    Last edited by kamurj; 12-18-2017 at 09:34 AM.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    114
    There is a lot of bitter advice offered on these boards. As with life, people need to take others' opinions with a grain of salt and make up their own mind. I understand it can be unwise to give people false hope but I think it is equally unwise to swear against reconciliation. Each relationship is different. Every person is different. If you want to hold on to the hope that you and your ex will reunite that's your choice and you will either live with the consequences or end up getting what you want. The most practical advice (remember, grain of salt) that I can offer is to live for you. Try to find happiness no matter your future. That's what I'm trying to do anyway.

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    139
    Originally Posted by Brownstone322
    Yup, but you'd think they'd have enough sense to understand the context.

    Anyway, I've gotten back together with all of my exes in one way or another, and we always eventually split amicably. Never once did it end "forever on the spot."

    Funnily enough, all my exs (apart from this last one) have come back to me. But by then, it was too late. I had moved on.

  4. #24
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Age
    35
    Posts
    992
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by thejigsup
    I've only gone back with two men in my lifetime. BIG MISTAKES! I will never go back again. If you are looking for fairy tales, read a book. People break up because the relationship is not working on some level. That never changes. You can get back together, but it is still not a healthy relationship most of the tme.
    So says the woman who runs at the first sign of commitment. Perhaps if you didn't prefer your career to love, things would be different.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    186
    It really almost sounds like to me that couples go through a period (especially guys) before getting serious and/or marrying where they need to re-evaluate the relationship and take a break. I think John Gray mentions this too happening... around 1 year into a relationship.

    My sister and her husband are HAPPILY married for 4 years and he stuck by her through her committment stuff-she broke up with him twice...but it's good now

  7. #26
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    989
    i thank everyone for posting the threads of encouragement. it really does help. my ex and i have been broken up since nov. i have done nc till the second week of march. i texted her out of the blue, we started texting, nothing too big, but it was positive communication. i asked her if she wanted to watch a movie one night and she said yes, but she was sure to throw in the "just as friends". i said no problem i'm not looking for a relationship. we watched the movie, i did not try anything and we had an absolute blast.

    last week we talked on the phone one night and she mentioned she was going to ask me out to see a movie that night but she had taken a nap and slept too late.

    this weekend she is going out of town to visit some college friends. i am a little nervous she could find someone else or even hook up with one of these friends. my mind is playing out the worst scenarious so i am trying not to think too much of it. i am just trying to get through it

    if anyone has any advice or any positive words of encouragement i would greatly appreciate it.

  8. #27
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    in my own head
    Posts
    186
    Gender
    Female
    1. A friend (guy) broke up with his girlfriend in sophomore year in college. The went out since freshman year. They were apart for two year with little to no communication. The guy had a short relationship (2 months) and the girl had a year-long relationship (So they did move on). They met up again in senior year as friends then got back together right after college graduation. They broke up due to communication/commitment issue and the guy did deliver the line "I don't love you any more". Both people changed a lot during their years apart. The guy became less scared of commitment and more open to communication, and the girl became more outspoken and communicate a lot more openly about issues they have in the relationship.

    2. My friend (a girl) also broke up with her bf after one year together in college (They were both sophomores and broke up at the end of junior year). Not sure about the reason...I think my friend just wasn't sure about things any more. Both people became really bitter towards each other and they don't talk...I mean they DON'T talk at all for two years. Got back together after a reunion party--where they started out just hanging as friends and poking fun around each other then slowly--like after 3 months of relaxing and hanging around each other they got back together. They are currently living together....

  9. #28
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    109
    My fiance dumped me a few months ago. We stopped talking for a month, had some level of interaction for another month, and after some high emotions we're back together and re-engaged.

    We have some trust issues, but as far as our relationship it's better than it ever was

  10. #29
    Silver Member ScorpiGal83's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Age
    35
    Posts
    717
    Gender
    Female
    A friend of mine was with her BF for 2 years. Then he went abroad to study, and they broke up because they couldn't deal with the LDR. A few months later, she meets a guy who she then moves in with and has a relationship with for over a year. The relationship turns abusive. Guy no.1 returns from his studies. They get back in touch casually. Guy no.2 threatens to kill himself if she sees Guy no.1 even just casually as friends. He abuses her. She manages to get out of it, but doesn't want to see Guy no.1 in case she rushes back into a relationship with him due to feeling vulnerable. Eventually they start seeing each other again. A year passes and he proposes. To be married later this year. Happily ever after? maybe... *sigh*

  11. #30
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    139
    I knew of a girl who was with her boyfriend nearly 4 years. He dumped her a disappeared for about 2 years. She was distraught. By the time he came she was planning her wedding to someone else. He begged and pleaded, but she refused to go back.

    Er....I just realised that this isn't a reconciliation story - but at least the dumpee had the opportunity for reconciliation if she wanted it!
    Last edited by justmyview; 03-26-2009 at 07:46 AM.

Page 3 of 240 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •