mickmorley

arr man, yes i know all the well what it is like. Just hang in there... Its really all up to her unfortunately. Just remember this, If she loves you, she WILL miss you and she WILL contact you in her own time. If she doesn't, then she is not worth worrying about. I know it is harsh sounding but you can beat yourself up over it... This is what I did, everytime I thought I was going to loose her when I was doing the No Contact thing, I read like a card, or a letter that she wrote me that said she will always love me, then i would go catch up with friend and forget about it... Eventually when she noticed "hey he isn't calling me, he is getting on with hs life" she initiated contact again, which allowe us to talk thing through, we are now back together... So man, unfortunately that is all you can do. Best of luck! you will always find a friend on this forum, you're not alone!...

I am in exactly the same situation currently. Although we have been broken up now for 2.5 months (does not seem that long), I miss her, and she has come back to me several times, staying with me, seems like only when she is lonly and she uses me to boost her then she treats me like a stranger again... So I know i should just cut all contact, i love her, but I don't want to be hurt again... So take my advice, you have to have the no contact thing for a while. You're doing great mate... just hang in there... don't mess up like i have, it just prolongs the hurt... She will relise what she has done soon enough, and when she is ready, you will know... Good luck... I am doing the same thing... PM me if you need to chat...

That is easy, there is only one way, just got up to her and ask her. I know it sounds obvious, but that is really what you should do. If you like this girl, and you go up and do it with a degree of confidence, it will work in you favour, girls like guys with confidence. Best of luck to you

hey man, thanks for the quick reply. I relise this is a delicate situation, but I don't want to blow it this time. I think you are right that, let her make all the calls... I messed up a little this morning, i called, but she was still asleep, and the person she lives with answers the phone, I hope she does not tell her i called, because I would rather see if she calls me...

okay, so now here is what is happening. If you read my last entry which i wrote about a week ago you will understand some background on my situation. last monday, she called me, and we had a long chat, about how we are both feeling, she basically said that "we won't get back together, its time to move on", that hurt me at the time, cause i really love this girl. However I could not argue, and I tried to accept this. The next day I kept myself as busy as possible, stoping myself from texting her etc. That night me and my mates were heading away to the coast for New Years, we were going away for the rest of the week. During our travelling on the tuesday, my phone was out of service, when it came back into server there was a voice message on it, when i checked it, it was from her, she sounded extremely sad and depressed, and she wanted to talk to me. However by this time it was too late to call her back. So I just went on over the next couple of days, I called her new years and we were both fairly drunk on the phone, and she was wishing me a happy new years being really nice. Next morning she rang me while I was asleep, left a message saying she would call me later. Later that night (thursday) she called me, and was being really sweet to me, she said "when you get home, I would like to take you up on that coffee, and chat" so I thought everything was all good (maybe she has been thinking). By the time Sunday came around and I got home, I called her to see if we could have that coffee, she invited me over for a chat instead. We just talked about misc stuff (not mensioning our relationship), when I was going to leave, we had a big hug, and she would not let go of me. I kissed her on the cheek and said "see you around". (btw, i really love this girl) Later that night she called me, and said she will call me later this week as she wants to catch up again. When I got to work on monday, and checked my emails from the week prior, that Tuesday night she called me, she also sent me a message, telling me she relises that she has messed up, and she has lost me, and wanted me to know that she loves me, and that i will make someone so happy. This made me said because I don't want anyone else but her. I also read her Open Diary and there was a new entry in there "the best hug", in the entry she put in song lyrics to our song "I miss you" by Incubus. It was so nice... Basically I want to know where you guys think I stand. I don't want to call her. Should I just wait and see what happens, or should I be more proactive! Anyhow, hope someone can shed some light on my situation!

Hey thanks for the reply guys, its good to know there are so many people out there that have experienced the same thing as me, and are willing to support others, its a nice thing. Anyhow, new developments, the other night I was out and I was talking to one of her ex friends, apparently my gf did all these cheating things while we were going out (i am only hearing about them now), am I did a majorly stilly thing. I was rather drunk that night, and I never thought about the concequences of my actions, and I got angry when I heard these things, so I got on the phone and called my ex, and asked her if any of this is true. Well bad move i know, she basically said "I have made my desicon, you can't trust me, its over". It wasn't till after that when I realised, I am a silly fool! I made that mistake I guess I have to live with it. Yesterday however, she called me, trying to get directions to a place through the city, so I helped her out, and I never said anything of it. She was really nice at that time, and later last night she sent me a text message to thank me for my help! (but I thought she said she never wants to speak to me again???) I know I have screwed up, do you think there is any way I can fix this..???

It has been a while since I have writting in here. But I just need some advice, advice on where I stand with my (now ex) Girlfriend. I have written in here before about her, we have had a bit of trouble lately, anyhow, my gf of 3 years, we broke up almost a month ago now, and anyway, I want her back, I miss her so much. We broke up because she said she was unhappy with how things had gone, we started fighting heaps, when we first broke up, it was going to be a definant thing, however about 2 weeks ago, I sent her a email asking her for a second chance, because I really love this girl. Anyhow, she basically told me that she might think about it. I guess I have not given her the time she has asked for, because i would message her every couple of days, to tell her I loved her (i know this is a bad mistake, i try to hard to fight the urge), anyhow, I don't know what to do, all i want to here from her is that she loves me, and is really thinking about us, but everytime I have talked to her, she has been angry with me, and treating me like nothing. btw I am 21 and she is 19. I guess I just want to hear from someone who has been in the same positions, or even some advice, if you think I have a chance getting her back. I mean is she really wanted it to be over she would tell me to "go away, and I don't want to see you again" wouldn't she? she hasn't, she just gets angry and says "I have almost had enough of this". I should back right off, i know I should, but I am so scared of loosing her... Anyhow, hope to hear some opinions... please...

Well we have been going good latly. However I just don't trust her since I heard rumours that when I was out of town she was seeing another guy. But I pursued that, and found out someone just made that up and it made me feel so bad, cause I hurt her so much when she thought that I thought she would do something like that. But ever since then I have not been able to trust her. I don't know what to do. I love her so much. Yet everytime she is not with me, I feel like I need to know what she is doing, who she is going out with etc. Am I being to 'full on controlling' or what? How can I shake this feels that I can't trust her. I know I can, cause she wouldn't do that kinda stuff... However she does flirt alot, and guys get the wrong ideas aswell, maybe thats why... But I still feel like I cant trust her... HELP...

It sounds tough on you. I know exactly how you feel. All you have to remember is you arnt alone. There are other people out there who know exactly what you are goin though. That thought of knowing there are others helped me out heaps. So just remember that. No matter what, there are others in the same situation. Hang in there. You will feel better soon.

Hi guys, thanks for all ur advice... Now I don't know what to do now... Anyhow, Last night, she came over and said "don't be angry with me, I think we should sit and talk tonight", so we did. We talked about how we are both unhappy, then she said that for the last two years she was someone else, now she is becoming herself again, and she thinks I won't like it. She tells me she doesn't have fun with me anymore, that is why she goes out, and that I don't make her feel special. Yet I treat her like a queen, im always there for her, I get her everything she wants etc, the only reason we cant have fun is because she goes out everynight, by the time she gets home its too late to do anything. Now, she is saying she wants to have space, and she is feeling to smothered, and she doesn't want to be tied down. When I asked "does this mean you don't want to be in this relationship" she said "no, im not saying that, I just want to be my own person". She wants to be her own person, who goes out, and flirts with guys etc, im assuming so she feels special. I don't know what I should do from here. I mean i can totally see where she is coming from, because if I want to go out with my friends I do, which is fair enough. Also she said she doesn't want me calling her all the time, and that we should just chill out. I mean there is something wrong when your GF doesn't even look forward to seeing you again. Well she says she loves me, and I believe her, otherwise she would have broken it off a long time ago when she was first unhappy... I admit I have made ALOT of mistakes in this relationship. I just need to know how I can make it better from here on in. Should I just go do my own thing, and hope she misses me enough to call me, and be with me? What should I do. I really am so lost. Seems like we have gone from Spending everynight together, from seeing each other a couple of times a week. I don't know how I am ment to cope with this. Please give me some more advice... Im really hoping our relationship gets stronger, very soon though. I need to feel Secure again... Thankyou...

I need to know what to do... My gf keeps going out, every night, leaves me at home waiting for her, she gets home late, keeps me up, and then we sleep, get up and goto work. We hardly spend quality time together n e more because she is always out with her friends.... I don't know what to do... I want us to be happy to be with each other again... I have told her how I feel, she says she wont go out late n e more, then she goes out, and calls me telling me she wont be home till hours later... How can I stop this from occurring, I don't know what to do. Please help... (as you have probly noticed I have been trying to get our relationship on track for some time now).

I empathise with you entirely man. My gf of two years, has guys friends that she goes out with all the time. I don't like it at all, but I feel asif I have no choice, because when I said something she says the same thing your girlfriend says to you. So if you do come up with an approach, let me know.

Thanks for your opinions guys, means alot... I hope your right...

Well its me again. I just need some advice on what you guys think. okay, well recently I had to go away with the band for a week and a half recording in another state. Anyhow, the week before I went, it was all good. thereforeeeeeee i had to leave my gf at home. While i was away it was all good, she was telling me how much she missed me etc, every night. Eventually when it became time to come home, which i was looking forward to so much, i wanted to see her heaps bad so i tried to get home in good time... I did... and yet she made plans to go out with her friend still, i never ended up seeing her till about 1 am when she was finished. She came home, told me how much she loved me. Anyhow tonight, when she called me, she didn't really want to see me, (we have been going out for two years, and we have been doing kinda the same thing every night, like one big circle). She wanted to stay at her house tonight, wants to be her own person. We used to only spend prolly 4 our of 7 nights together, yet for the last two years we have spend every night together, and I think this might be why we have been having so much trouble. Anyhow, she is staying at her house tonight, I will see her tomorrow, but I need advice, do you guys think this is the way we can make our relationship work better, by not seeing each other every night??? Any advice is appreciated. Thankyou for listening.

Hi guys, I have posted several time in the forum. Tonight, my gf, (we have had problems in the past), broke up with me I think... anyhow ill fill you in. This afternoon, she was down in the dumps, I called her, and she was mean to me (like she is when she is down the in dumps), and she ended up hanging up on me. So when I called her back, she got her kid brother to answer the phone, and say she didn't want to speak to me. I asked him to put her on, so he did. I told her what i felt, which was something along the lines of "when you start treating like a bf, and a person and grow up give me a call" and i hung up. THat was the last i heard of her until later. Later on, she messaged my phone and said "can u bring all my cloths aorund home, i and staying her tonight" then she called, and wanted to talk to me... bla bla bla, she is now saying its over... and saying we need a break... I dunno what to do... I cant explain myself properally over this... I just need help... I care about her alot...