Cami

Hi, uni did'nt start well for me because I did'nt meet a group of people I just clicked with, you know had things in common (like back home). I just felt like the odd one out and people made me feel bad about myself because I would'nt drink like crazy, sleep around and later some friends just kep pointing out all my faults, which yes I do have but they'r not perfect either and I don't go round telling them what they should improve. I thought you just accept people for who they are, I always have and back home in my friendship group we did that. I thought things would get better, but they have'nt got better. I know lots of people, but I'm not in their "groups" so, I'm not invited to do things with them. Do people just don't like me? My housemates seem to, they'r my closest friends, but I think they'r drifting too. Its really getting me down, I feel like no one likes me and the more I feel like this the less I want to go out, its like a vicious circile. I've never had this problem, back home I had great friends. Help!!

I'm having a big problem with a friend of mine. Me and him used to be really good friends, best friends you could say. We decided to do a three month study abroad program together and since we've bene here everything has gone pear shaped. He started going out with the other girl that came from our university. We are now constantly bikering. Eveyrthing I say he will counter act; disagree with. Also, he is constantly pointing out my faults. He told me the other day that I'm aggressive and people dont like me among other. Yeah I'm not perfect, but neither is anyone and I dont go round pointing out his or his gfs faults. Infact she infuriates me; she's little miss perfect, always berting me for something Ive done or havent done. Maybe he's becoming like here. He (and every one else seems to think) that I never get ofended and that I always forgive, well I'm offended and incredibly upset. Him and her make me feel like such a bad person. we all have insecurities and they just seem to thow my faults (hence my insecurities) in my face. Also, in addition to completely leaving me out. I never see them and we are abroa dina foreign country. So,. I'm left all alone. i dont think ive ever bene so upset or cried so much over a friend. I dont know whether to just forget the friendship or work at it. Tmepted to just ignore both of them and get on with eveything. They obviously dont like my company or want my friendship....

I am really really...........really happy with my bf. Were just comfortable with eachother, we find eachother funny, we can talk about anything, we are so right for eachother in every way, I still fancy the pants of him, he's the first person I slept with...I think I might love him. The thing is I cant stop thinking about this other guy I vaguely know. He's cute and all set for life (we're at uni); top notch job in the pipeline, money. I feel awful; I am so thinking of material things. Yeah maybe me and this guy could of been a couple; I liked him and he (Im pretty sure) liked me, but it didnt happen - wasnt meant to be. Also I know there's a high chance we're wrong for eachother. But its on my mind, you know what could of been. Is that bad?

My bf is the best bf I ever had; I cant complain. Here's the problem: him and his ex are 'best friends' (his own words). This really bugs me. I mean they were'nt best friends before they were dating, so why should they be now? The only dated for 4 months, of which 3 months was disasterous. Should'nt I be his best friend? The person he talks to, confides in etc? He knows it bugs me and has told me there is nothing between them and never will be. Other people say the same. Thing is she's moving in with him and his housemates, her photos still pinned on his mirror, she's round his more tham I am; she's nearly always there when I come round...I told him that I dont mind, but if he puts her before me thats it. He hasnt I think, but then what is him putting her before me? Help! Also I'm going away for three months, so leaving him and her together.

I've been dating this guy for a while and he's like the perfect bf, except for one thing: his ex. On the one hand she doesnt bother me because me and my bf are good together, we're happy, but on the other hand there is a little tiny part of my thats worried, scared..that I'm falling for a guy that can never be mine because he's hers. They r still good friends, she calls him and I guess they meet up. My friend and his housemate has said I dont have anything to worry about because since we've been dating she hasnt been around much, but what if I do. He still has her photo pinned to his mirror.... I dont know what to do, I could end it and avoid getting hurt, but by doing so I could miss out a a good thing because I could be worrying for no reason. He could be over her, just not completely let her go and will once he's with me longer. Please help.

If someone loves you they shouldnt force you to do anything that you dont want to do. They can get angry that you dont want to do it (understandable), but should never force you. Can u forgive them? Depends what they forced you into. I would'nt forgive if someone forced me into sex, to do something morally wrong.... Can u trust them after they do something like that, prob not. You'd be stupid to, if they broke the trust once who says they wont do it again. I'd need a bit more detail bout the situation if I was to answer better.

Is his ex a threat? I've been seeing this guy for the past week. I really like him, but I'm a bit worried about the situation with his ex. Their r good friends (as opposed to me and my ex). There are text messages from her on his phone - I can deal with that. They are involved with a lot of stuff together at uni - I can just aout deal with that. The other nite one of her mates texted him saying his ex was walking home alone and he phoned her to check if she got home okay and prob would go to wherever she was and walk her home if need be - isnt that a bit too much for someone that's ur ex. Most guys wouldnt do that for a 'friend.' He says how could he not be friends with someone he cared a lot about at one point (they went out for 4 and a half months and it was his first serious relationship). He had a bust up with one of his friends cos is friend said he's too nice to his ex. I mena even he's angry at her cos she broke up with him because 'he was too nice.' Also, he doesnt talk about her too much, he will mention her here and there. Am I worrying for no reason? Am I just being a paranoid girl? The thing is I dont want to be a rebound - been there done that. Yeah okay he's a caring person, but...Please let me know what u think. Thanks. xxxx

I've been seeing this guy for the past week. I really like him, but I'm a bit worried about the situation with his ex. Their r good friends (as opposed to me and my ex). There are text messages from her on his phone - I can deal with that. They are involved with a lot of stuff together at uni - I can just aout deal with that. The other nite one of her mates texted him saying his ex was walking home alone and he phoned her to check if she got home okay and prob would go to wherever she was and walk her home if need be - isnt that a bit too much for someone that's ur ex. Most guys wouldnt do that for a 'friend.' He says how could he not be friends with someone he cared a lot about at one point (they went out for 4 and a half months and it was his first serious relationship). He had a bust up with one of his friends cos is friend said he's too nice to his ex. I mena even he's angry at her cos she broke up with him because 'he was too nice.' Also, he doesnt talk about her too much, he will mention her here and there. Am I worrying for no reason? Am I just being a paranoid girl? The thing is I dont want to be a rebound - been there done that. Please let me know what u think. Thanks. xxxx

I really think you are over analysing everything! No one your going to date is going to be perfect, you've got to realise that! They'll be things you love and things your not too keen about. Its how they make you feel thats important. From what you've written guy 1 is the one. He's the one that you have feelings for, you r just tempted by guy 2 because he's more attentive. The thing is that wears off and once he's stopped being so attentive there's nothing - trust me. Guy 1 wants to go slow thats good. The best relationships start of slow, ine very respect, and then everything builds up. Sounds like you want everything NOW. It takes time for people to open up, be spontaneous, devote more of their time to you. Just give it more time. See what happeneds.

There's this group of people i lived with at uni last yr. I was, but I wasnt in their friendship group simply because I didnt really fit in, i was very different. I had other friends. They also happen, now, to be my ex's friendship group (he met them through me). I have nothing against them, just for the record. The thing is why are they always nice to me when they'r drunk and when they'r not they just kind of distant. I get the feeling they hate me. Maybe they'r being loyal to the ex? So why be nice and friendly when I see them out. I know this is trival but they'r just sending conflicting messages. I dont know what to do, just be nice i guess?!

Me and my housemates were discussing this the other day. The thing is were clueless when it comes to knowing when a guy likes us. For example, with me 'apprently' a lot of guys like me, but i would never know, i just dont notice it. How do u know when a guy does like u? Also, okay so he likes u and u like him, how do u get with him, well try and get with him. What ask him for a drink, flirt with him? What do u do?

I cant say ive been in as bad a situation as u, but it was close. You know what you do. You get up and start rebuilding everything, from scratch. Because your doing it from scratch, all over again, learn from your mistakes and do everything how you want to do it. Move away, a fresh start is always good. Get a new job, start making new friends... Close the door on your past, dont let it mix with ur present and your future. Its hard, but you've got to do it. Do everything for yourself and nobody else! Dont let anyone ruin your life, your self esteem, your confidence in yourself your everything. Show them and yourself how strong you are. Your 25, you've got your whole life ahead of you. When u manage to get through this you'll be so proud of yourself, I am of me, and you'll be a stronger and better person. I know the latter sounds corny but its true. It will take time, but it will get better. You think it wont but it will and when it does you start to appreciate life and everything it has to offer so much more. Good luck.

A couple of weeks ago I went down to visit a friend at another universit. While I was there I met up with Tom, a guy I'd been to college with and had fancied throughout all of college. Even after being away at uni for a year I still kinda fancied him. Anyway to cut a long story short we spent a really fun evening together and he ended up telling me he's liked me since the first year at college and that he wants us to be together. I said no at first because of the distance, we are at different uni's which are miles away. But he was persistent, saying we could make it work, that we could go and visit, that he'll phone, that were at hom more than uni... Then he kissed me and I just thought what the hell, why not? Anyway, I went home and didnt c him for three weeks, until he came up this weekend. I had a fantastic time with him this weekend! It was lovely, we got on so well (we always had). The thing is i dont know where i stand. I dont know what were doing. Its not really a relationship seeing someone every three weeks. He doesnt call much either, once a week, and he'll text every other day, infact I text him more. I dont think he understands the situation he agreed too, he thinks calling once a week is enough and then seeing eachother every three weeks. He's never had a gf I dont think he comprehends the concept of a relationship. The thing is I want a realtionship, a real relationship. I want a bf whose there for me, someone i can talk too, spend time with at uni rather than being constantly alone... Its just not enough speaking on the phone once a week. Its not him thats the problem, he's wonderful, its the situation, I just think its doomed. Should i get out of it now or see how it goes, at least give it till after the christmas holidays, when we'll have a whole month together at home?

Hey Honi. My bf and me had a messy break up too. I was devasted and he didnt seem to be. Infact hes done lots of things since to hurt me. Ignoring me, bad mouthing me to people we knoe whose manner towards me cooled, being nasty and even starting on me! You sit their wondering why? Why wont he just leave u alone? That u dont deserve it do u? Well the only way to stay sane is to keep telling urself that his ego's bruised cos he lost you. When people try to hurt u its because their jelous, angry cos u got the better of them u know showed them up. People are gonna be horrible to you throughout ur life. Just ignore it. Its their problem no urs. Move one. Oh and by the way look gorgeous, so, it pisses him off! Also a new bf or lots of interest from guys wouldnt hurt.

I broke up my bf in the nicest possible way, not putting the blame on anyone. It was so nicely done that i think he thought there was potential we could get back together after hed played around (he wanted to have fun not be stuck with a gf who just happened cos he fell for her). Thats certainly the impression i got from what his mates said. After a while i stopped being deluded (hindsight and all the girls he was getting with) and realized how badly he treated me and how i deserved better. I told him so (siad he was an idiot and i deserved better - thats is) and he got so mad. So, from that day he ignored me. I realized he never cared about me, while i was breaking up inside. Then one evening when i was talking to his mate and he came to stand next to him. I smiled at him and said hi and he just started on me, shouting at me to stay away from him and his mates and shoving me. He had to be dragged off by his mate who told me to run. Does that show he cared about me a tiny bit, that it hurt him we werent together...because he couldnt be that angry at me cos I didnt do anything to deserve it. I mean what i said wasnt that bad? Help i need to know ur opinion to close the door on this.