Whats the point of Pornography!?

[shikashika]

Honey, if I made a sex video with my husband, National Geographic would pay BIG money for it. (hmmm... I do have a big mortgage...)

With regards to that, though, I'd have to start bringing my personal morality with regards to lust into the picture instead of my uppity human-rights and feminist opinions. We probably oughtn't go there.

 

I think that it's degrading to reduce women and men to simple sexual objects, period. They are people, with feelings and dimensions, and to simply use them in that way is, IMO, disrespectful. If my husband gets the urge, he can take care of himself without having to look at pictures of me or anyone else, or he can wait a little while till I'm available - he's not an animal controlled by his sexual urges.

 

ha ha! let me know when your video is released... (kidding!)

[Daddy Bear]

if you think that it strengthens your sex life, you could use onions or something

That's a pretty innocent and naive suggestion, no offense. I'm not really sure you're quite old enough yet to fully comprehend the answers to the question you're asking.

 

But I think I'd feel negative about it, too, if I knew my dad looked at it. Heck, just knowing he and Mom ever had sex (and still do, yuck!) makes me ill.

[melrich]

Don't understand the basis for this argument.

 

Because 14 and 15 year olds do not have the maturity to put pornography into the perspective that you and I would. I am sure like me, the material you would have looked at concerned Playboy centefolds or some such. Unfortunately with the internet, even the most soft-core sites allow you to easily access far more questionable material than we would ever have had access to when we were young.

 

I would have put nail-biting and hair-twirling in front of either of those.

 

No. I said "growing". There are a number of excellent white papers available on the net and easy to find. Internet porn is fast overtaking every other "traditional" reason for the break up of marriages in the western world. make no mistake, it is addictive to addictive personalities and like anything that is addictive it can take over people's lives.

 

I am all for the availability of porn to mature adults or adult couples. And they should be able to choose to utilise it as they wish.

 

In the hands of young people (legally under 16 in my country), they simply do not have the experience or maturity to apply the perspective that is appropriate.

[Cometcrater]

That's a pretty innocent and naive suggestion, no offense. I'm not really sure you're quite old enough yet to fully comprehend the answers to the question you're asking.

 

I've already had to take all the Sex Ed classes in school. I know no less than you did, before your first time.

 

oh and the onion thing is true. They did a special on Onions on the Food Network

[Daddy Bear]

paisley80, now you're REALLY confusing me. If your husband 'takes care of himself' (and we'll keep that hypothetical, out of respect for him), he must necessarily be imagining something. A man cannot perform that act without a mental image. Presuming that image is you, doesn't that reduce you to a sex object, since he's only doing it for pleasure and not actually making love to you at the time?

[justpaisley]

Why is the NASCAR analogy false? Please explain.

 

Driving cars is not sex, though many people in my fine state would disagree. I can't imagine why you would even logically compare the two.

 

And you're also not giving me any insight into how it's degrading to the female if a couple is stimulated by placing images of themselves making love in the public domain.

 

The woman is allowing herself to be reduced to a sexual object. This is the very denotation of degradation. There is no dignity in being used as a sexual object and IMO, it shows a glaring lack of self-respect.

 

Lastly, are you saying that sex is only morally acceptable between people who are in love? Do you REALIZE how many married couples that would exclude??

 

I do believe that, yes (more specifically, married and in love), but my personal morality isn't the subject of this disagreement. I have my own separate moral issues with porn, but my main objection to porn is the degradation and exploitation of the women involved, especially considering studies done that say that most women involved in porn were sexually molested as children. It's sickening that there's an industry that capitalizes on such things.

 

I really have to go to bed now, though I've enjoyed discussing this with you and shikashika. I'll look back on tomorrow though.

[HellFrost666]

paisley80, now you're REALLY confusing me. If your husband 'takes care of himself' (and we'll keep that hypothetical, out of respect for him), he must necessarily be imagining something. A man cannot perform that act without a mental image. Presuming that image is you, doesn't that reduce you to a sex object, since he's only doing it for pleasure and not actually making love to you at the time?

 

Well said SB... I have many mental images of my girlfriend archived in my head for that purpose. Does that mean she is nothing to me but an object of lust?

[HellFrost666]

I just noticed something (Yea flog me for my lack of observance) But I don't even feel right participating in this thread knowing the OP is a little girl.

 

Am I the only one?

[EvaGina]

I'm not saying it should be illiminated, I'm only saying if you are in a good relationship, you shouldn't have to watch porn, by yourself, to get pleasure. You should be spending time with your partner

 

-rolls on floor, dying of laughter-

 

What if he isnt seeing you that night?

what if he wakes up at 3am and feels like a masty? should he call you and make you come over?

What if you only see eachother once a week? should he WAIT for you?

 

What if he wants the physical release but really cant be bothered trying to please someone else? Should he just use his gf for sex?

[Daddy Bear]

Driving cars is not sex, though many people in my fine state would disagree.

That is the funny thing I've heard in days. Have a good night, paisley. Thanks for being a good sport and answering my questions without getting upset. Maybe tomorrow you can tell me what it is about sex that sets it apart from other activities like driving and makes it inherently degrading when viewed by itself and not under the cloak of marital-romantic respectability, as that was the main point behind my NASCAR analogy.

 

HF: Yes, it makes me uncomfortable that the OP is young, and seems to be getting younger as the the night wears on (kidding, CC). She is apparently of age to participate in these forums, though, and I do think it could be helpful to present a viewpoint that doesn't paint all the males in her life as monstrous freaks.

[HellFrost666]

^ I am not saying it's so much a bad thing... Just feels weird is all.

[Daddy Bear]

I know what you mean, HF... I wanted to hear more about the onion thing but I didn't dare ask.

[Azual]

I think we have all interjected well said points here... but let's remember... everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

That said, porn is simply something used for when your partner isn't around and you want a quickie... if the people who do amateur porn or hardcore ****age stuff (starred for the sake of not scarring our OP for life, but I'm sure some leather users might be able to figure it out... and I threw a hint there) want to put it on a public domain... that's their thing. Makes them no less human, no more sex object. Yes, people like watching it, but after the porno is done, the person is gone. The same rule could be applied to IRL sex, could it not? Once you're done... the URGE is GONE. Nothing more to say.

[sophie274]

Hey Cometcrater,

 

As you've seen on this thread a lot of people have a lot of different opinions about porn! One of the things I have encountered on here is a discourse in which the fact that porn is harmless, just a fantasy, etc, is presented as truth. In my opinion, that just can't be said. Porn is a different thing to different people, and you are entitled to think it is terrible!

 

It's hard to put numbers on things, but certainly a large number of men use porn "regularly". However, if you wish to be in a relationship with someone who does not watch porn, then you will absolutely be able to find someone with those same values. As paisley said, trying to "compromise" between someone who thinks porn is fine and someone who thinks porn is wrong is going to be extremely difficult.

 

You may find that your opinion will change a bit as you get older, or maybe not. When I was your age I remember being disgusted by the realization that men and boys I knew looked at porn. I was shocked! Now I am more neutral towards the whole idea, and slightly apathetic about it - sort of a don't ask don't tell policy. I have never asked my boyfriend if he watches porn because I do not particularly care - but my impression is that he does not, or very rarely, at least at this juncture. I do not watch it and doubt I ever will. It simply does not appeal to me. When I see a playboy magazine in some of my friends' rooms however, I have to admit the experience is very odd: the women in there look so "hard and polished to me", so fake and unfeminine ... I admit I don't get it!

[zippitt]

As azual just stated everyone it entitled to your opinions and while you can debate this all day there are a couple clear facts.

 

Many men and some women fantasize about sex with other partners, most often during masturbation.

 

Does this make us all view women as sex objects? Maybe some of us view women that way but viewing another as a sex object comes down to the individual and isn't always clear from a few of their behaviors, don't generalize.

 

Can porn be dangerous? Yes it can, anything done in excess or something that can cause undesirable behavior such as missing work or ignoring your spouse is an addiction.

 

Does this mean we should get rid of porn? Lets say it was gone. Men for the most part would just get mental images of women while doing their dirty work. Of course some men may not fall into this category, but most would. I imagine this is what early man did unless they were clubbing unwilling participants over the head to have their way.

 

As much as you feel porn is wrong, others will simply state that it is not, it's a matter of opinion. Granted some pornography is really demeaning to women, but what if the woman presenting the picture wanted to do it because she was very sexual, she would argue that it is not infact demeaning. Again we are talking about opinion.

 

What it comes down two is when a couple is together they must share similar views or opinions with Pornography in order for their relationship to work. Of course if one person has an addiction things will never work out.

 

I really think the problems come down to the way men and women think. Men are very visual and maybe a little less sensitive to certain things.

 

Lets say the situation was reveresed and my GF loved looking at porn. I wouldn't care one bit, in fact I might encourage it as long as it wasn't something too gross for me to deal with (again my opinion, not hers), and as long as she didn't use porn over me.

 

Tricky subject for the most part, without going into extreme cases of abuse, addiction, or deaming acts, there is no right or wrong, only opinion and compromise.

[Daddy Bear]

Some of us just want to assure the OP that her father, brothers and friends are not psychologically abnormal, merely for utilizing porn. Nobody is trying to get her to LIKE the stuff.

 

Conversely, I question the wisdom of reinforcing the notion that it's morally wrong to accept porn as part of society and that she should never get involved with someone who looks at these materials from time to time. That will severely restrict her future romantic opportunities in today's world, and again casts the males around her in an unfairly negative light. There are many good and faithful husbands - maybe even a majority - who view adult media on occasion for the harmless purpose of facilitating healthy physical release.

[musicguy]

I worked at a porn store for 2 years and I have my own collection of movies and mags...anyway, Porn is this..the adult industry, a billion dollar a year industry. Women and the men in porn CHOOSE their profession, like people choose their own professions. Women get paid more than the men do, due to the things that they have to do. Porn is just fantasy for a lot and sexual enhancement for couples. There are porn companies that make porn FOR couples. Wicked Entertainment has a lot of movies toward couples, more sensual and romantic, but still kind of hardcore.

 

Porn in a relationship-- some women like it, some women love it. It's a fantasy world, yet a helpful tool in a relationship. it makes couple think "Hey, maybe this will spice up our sex life" or "maybe this will help with my husband/wives sex drive"

 

Men are more visual creatures, females are more emotional during sex (but I may be wrong) and both men and women view porn in different ways. I'm not a woman so I don't know what women go thru when they watch porn.

 

Anyway, there will always be a HUGE debate on porn and relationships, opinions will be stated...but porn is not necessarily a negative thing.

 

Also, it helps lonely. single people masturbate

 

*steps off soapbox*

[chocojay]

OMG!!! Cometcrater i cant believe you're only 14 you sound SO mature...lol

You sure gonna make some woman VERY happy one day.

[shikashika]

OMG!!! Cometcrater i cant believe you're only 14 you sound SO mature...lol

You sure gonna make some woman VERY happy one day.

 

 

The OP is a female! I didn't read anywhere that she's gay!

[musicguy]

The OP is a female! I didn't read anywhere that she's gay!

 

lol, that's funyy, but yeah, OP is a girl

[Scout]

That said, porn is simply something used for when your partner isn't around and you want a quickie...

 

I find this statement similar to the oft-quoted edict that using porn is simply a means of sexual relief. Which I think is inaccurate. For starters, there are numerous threads on just eNotalone from women who are baffled and hurt that their partners are addicted to or regularly watch porn even though their girlfriends/wives are willing to have sex as much as they want.

 

And let's be brutally honest, guys. How many of you are watching porn where the woman is simply making love to her partner? I would hazard to guess a LOT of porn you're watching features a woman getting gangbanged, or forcibly performing oral sex on multiple partners, or something even more graphic. So, are you really using porn simply as a "sexual release"? Or for something more?

 

As I asked another poster in a private message recently, what does it say about men who regularly watch porn where women are being humiliated and degraded? And what does it say about women who accept their partners regularly watching these images?

 

I understand that there is a BDSM scene made up of both willing men AND women. But for the average person on one of these threads who is defending porn, is BDSM something you regularly participate in with your girlfriend? Would you like to see her getting gangbanged in real life, or forced to perform oral sex with ten other guys? I seriously doubt it. So why do you want to see this happening to another woman?

 

And I seriously doubt any of you would be cool with your girlfriend insisting on getting off to male porn herself two, three, four times a week.

[Scout]

I'd rather see them pacified by having a magazine under the mattress than walking the streets loaded to the hilt with testosterone where my daughters might run into them.

 

What exactly are you saying here? That when men become horny they lose self-control and are then more liable to rape or otherwise take advantage of a woman? If so, I think you are implying something pretty horrible about your own gender!

[Bethany]

And let's be brutally honest, guys. How many of you are watching porn where the woman is simply making love to her partner? I would hazard to guess a LOT of porn you're watching features a woman getting gangbanged, or forcibly performing oral sex on multiple partners, or something even more graphic. So, are you really using porn simply as a "sexual release"?

 

As a porn watcher myself I resent that. I don't think that anyone fantasises about making slow serene love love in a soft warm bed. The mind conjures up images we have no control of, and porn just does it for us and saves us the time and bother of thinking about them. There's nothing sinsiter or wicked about it, it's saving time and effort.

[Bethany]

What exactly are you saying here? That when men become horny they lose self-control and are then more liable to rape or otherwise take advantage of a woman? If so, I think you are implying something pretty horrible about your own gender!

 

I think your distaste for porn is clouding your views of others.

[Scout]

I think your distaste for porn is clouding your views of others.

 

It's a little more complex than that. I take strong issue with the popular premise that porn is mainly a sexual release. Now, I've seen some posts from females on this thread that also say they regularly use porn, so I can't make a blanket statement about the overall reasons people in general use it.

 

But I have seen a lot of comments on various threads that indicate men somehow "need" porn when they don't get "enough" sex. I mean, what exactly is going to happen to them if they don't get to some porn ASAP? Are they going to lose complete control of themselves? And couldn't they use their imagination and come up with a mental fantasy in a pinch?

 

I'm basically questioning the popular reasons I often hear as justification to use porn.