Sex with massage parlor worker

[tommyboy]

I met this girl at the massage parlor. Its the type that only offers happy endings, no full house if you know what I mean. I got her number and we met up. She told me she needed a man to take care of her as she had many bills. I agreed to pay her weekly for her services, whereby we went out on dates and had sex. It is really a relief for me from work and the stress of my family life with my wife. I just like the excitement.

 

She is really cagey about her previous relationships saying she has been hurt so much by men, she even wont let me know where she stays. I know she stays with 2 other girls though. In fact I dont care if she has another guy somewhere as I am not jealous, how can I be ! She does tell me that I am her only lover though, whether it is true or not, who knows.

 

This girl really makes love all out, however does not let me kiss her.

 

I just feel so sorry for this girl because she has a rats life and when I look deeply in her eyes it really touches me. Even if she does like me for the money, I dont care, because we all pay sooner or later.

 

 

 

She is 23 and I am 39, it just turns me on to be with her, guys admire me because she is hot.

 

What do u think?

[amtjrtcet]

Ok, well first off you're MARRIED with a FAMILY. This effort you are putting into trying to figure out your mistress you should be putting into your WIFE and FAMILY.

 

As for the girl, obviously she has some trust issues. If she is ONLY interested in your $ maybe that's how she keeps it strictly "business." For some people kissing is soooooo personal, some even more then sex.

 

As for those who admire you for being with her...........do they know you're married?

[gnabna]

What a relief for you? What do I think?

 

Honestly I think you need to tell your wife that you are going on dates and paying for them. Maybe then you can really get some relief from the stress of your family life.

 

It is sad that you could not invest that time and effort into your relationship with your wife. She deserves to know the truth so she can determine weather or not she wants to continue a relationship with you.

 

What you are doing is unfair and dangerous to your wife's health.

 

Be a man of integirty and confess to your wife and go get tested.

[Newo Ikkin]

Well said Michelleth.

I know its awful to judge in this forum, but have you no shame?

Are there problems with your marriage?

 

It appears it turns you on because your "possession" gives you credit from others, and she's taken to you as a "lover". If we look at this realistically and not just from a lustful point of view, what are you looking to achieve from it?

[AwdreeHpburn]

I think you've been reading to many Playboy magazines and have a really good imagination.

[Day_Walker]

I believe that you are getting what you want from your arrangement and she is getting what she wants. Of course you are married but I am not going attempt to counsel you on that. You know what you are doing and you know what can be the consequences for that. It does seem that you have rationalized the situation in your mind, I dont know how much you are paying her but I would believe that you would pay less for a gf.

[chai714]

If I've ever read an honest post, it's yours. And I sincerely say thank you for being honest.

 

It seems like you would like to be this womans savior - you see the life she has, see that she could be much more and you personally want to take care of her - and you are indirectly, by dating her and getting your sexual fulfillment in return for your money.

 

Now, is what you're doing to your wife fair? You already know that answer. I won't lecture you on how it's wrong to cheat, selfish, etc. You'll get that from many people. What I can say is wear protection (to protect your wife) and try to bring some of this exciting sex into your own bedroom at home (with your wife). I know this is all new and exciting but as you say, there's a price to pay for everything. Whether you realize it or not, you're digging a hole.

[tommyboy]

I do engage in protective sex thats not negotiable. I just have feelings my wife doesnt address. This girl is a student in fact and I dont believe a full time pro.

 

I am just bored, work sleep eat is misery for me. This is like an addiction..Of course she doesnt know anything (the truth) about me and has told me if I step off the plate there are many other rich men that would take my place.

 

I take care of her and she takes care of me...Let me say for me its not so much about the sex but the intimacy with her...

 

I find my wife is always offish in bed and I have to push her for sex all the time, its not spontaneous. My wifew wont kiss me and just rolls over so i can take her from, behind.

 

Judge me if you will but also feel my pain

[itsallgrand]

What do I think? I think...

 

HIV. Herpes. Prostitution. Angry children developing drugs problems in the future. Maybe a depression or a suicide. Sadness. Desperation.

 

This is a very sad story.

 

Are you happy as a person? Genuinely curious to hear about that.

[rose2summer]

well tommy, unfortunately, even though you use protection, STD's can still be spread.

 

Remember, the condom only covers so much, so imagine all the hundreds of other men she has slept with, and the partners they slept with, to imagine the diseases you can contact, and give to your wife.

 

I understand you are in pain, but I hope you don't want to die young from some incurable STD.

 

I think you should seek marital counseling with your wife to improve your life inside the bedroom.

 

Remember, your wife is bound to find out. I have yet to meet a person who practiced infidelity who was not caught.

 

I have a friend who did, and she lost everything she had, her beautiful home, her child, she has no where to live, and she cries for her mistake. Do you want that to be you.

 

I don't want to be cynical, but the fun today, may be the despair tomorrow.

 

Hugs, Rose

[amtjrtcet]

I think in any relationship, marriage the passion is goin to fade. And it has been shown to be true that most women lose that sexual fire, and earlier then men. But don't lose sight of your marriage and why you married your wife. Have you tried to talk to your wife about it?

[tommyboy]

I was treated by a psychologist for depression as I was having trouble with aggression and fighting with my wife. i always was shouting. This girl seems to have helped my relationship with my wife in a funny way. Let me explain to you my wife is chinese, mostly they accept their husbands having a bit on the side, thats their right. Even when I told her I was going for a sexy massage she said go ahead. When I told her I wanted to try anal she said okay, just wear a condom with another woman. I was even caught in a massage parlor in Hong Kong and it became a laughing joke with me and her friends.

 

I love my wife and family, judge me if you will

[itsallgrand]

Did the pyschologist help - honestly?

 

This girl from the massage parlour seems to be your main line of self-treatment.Unfortunately, it is not the most stable or healthy of choices. Rather extreme too, which leads me to believe you are indeed in a lot of pain.

 

How old are your kids?

[tommyboy]

Yes the psych helped a lot in fact I feel great.

[tommyboy]

I feel good and bad all day long. When I am with my massage girl I feel best.

 

I am extremely paranoid, taping conversations with her, keeping love letters and getting her to write me love notes. i do this incase she tries something dirty on me like extortion etc. This is not the 1st time I have done these paranoid things.

 

I had a horrible father who * * * *ed me around most of my life and whom today I dont speak too. he was also a {mod edit}... so yes my wife now is my refuge, so i plan to screw this women so much so that I get sick and tired of her.

 

Even the other day I went for a body rub and the pain of longing for her was gone.

[itsallgrand]

Wonderful.

 

And your kids? How are they doing?

 

Your kids are the only ones who are not adults here. Or are they?

[Beec]

You are having sex with a prostitute, and worse, seem to developing some type of attachment to her. I understand sometimes sex you pay for is better than just wacking it yourself, but the risks are high.

 

I agree with the others, end it now, before you become mroe attached, and work on motivating your wife to want to do it to you like your prostitute does.

[tommyboy]

What I will do is when I meet her I will give her money and just have a coffee with her something non sexual, It will be hard to wean myself from her because she is sexy.

[rose2summer]

It will be hard to wean myself from her because she is sexy.

 

She is just using you for your money though, so is it really all that sexy?

[tommyboy]

Why do I feel euphoria with her and then like a schoolboy when she gets in her car and drives away. she tells me I am the only one but I distrust the following. (1) Wont let me know where she stays (2) Wont kiss me

 

I think she could like me even tho I do pay her.

 

I am an idiot such a sucker, but I like it

[rodeo-rider]

Wow. I don't posess the ability to be accepting and politically correct with a response to your "honesty".

 

I just spoke to my husband on the phone so I am fairly certain that he is not you. And I thank god for that.

 

I guess it is a good thing that this forum exists. Tommy boy, you epitomize (for me anyway) EXACTLY the kind of male that I have absolutely no empathy or compassion for.

 

Is this honesty of mine o.k. to type here?

[rodeo-rider]

I would rather be "admired" by my peers for something like being a good worker/friend/car mechanic/ something other than being admired because your "trophy prostitute" is "hot".

 

It proves that money can buy many things. Too bad you have to pay someone to get what you need. My hope for you is that you can find happiness in a way that won't destroy your family.

[tommyboy]

yeh yeh yeh blah blah blah you are so unhelpful, what skeletons do you have in the closet? 50% of men cheat thats a fact.

[amtjrtcet]

Tommyboy, you're here for help/advice, not judgement. Sorry if it feels that way.

Just try to understand that many of us here are healing from being hurt by lies and infidelity. That's where a lot of this "judgement" comes from.

I don't quite understand the Chinese culture, but then I'm not Chinese.

 

As far as your situation with the girl.........she makes you feel better. But you can't rely on someone else to make you happy. You've got to work on you, otherwise there will always have to be something or someone else in the picture. Make sense?

[tommyboy]

yes I understand I do feel happy by myself, but I feel perverted. i want to stop what i am doing but it is extremely hard. When I am stressed out sex is all i think about. Thats why I would like to let the girl go by just being her friend no monkey business.

 

I know she is a borderling prof hooker I have that feeling because she seems conflicted and she doesnt act like a full time hooker. Its just a way for her to make extra moiney for her studies etc. So i dont know if I can make a moral impression on her to quit.

 

She says if i give her money then she doesnt have to work at the massage place. It makes me think about the world, what hurts me the most is I think what if she was my daughter. How can I leave someone who I could possibly help or save her life?