Okay, I've totally took the plunge and joined okcupid.

[yeawutever]

Heros can be anyone that's of significance to you. Same here budman, Martin Luther King is one of my hero so is Rosa Parks. Though I'm not black, I kinda think if I living during that time, I would have been by his side and actually right for their rights too. Then comes most of you people here on Enotalone where I can write things I would never say when in person around parents nor friends and become more expressive at it. Finally parents paying for my education. Well I guess that's about it, more no heros.

[Daddy Bear]

You know what? I think I post on this thread so much because I like our running conversations.

 

*sniffs*

 

I love you guys!

awww, back at ya (if you meant to include me in that). i just wonder how Ross can carry five convos at once without cracking.

[Ross_K]

Ross - I really prefer this picture as well. Both are good, but I prefer this one. You have a nice smile, nice sweater and nice pose.

 

The other one looks like you took it yourself, which you did, but looks sooo obvious you did.

 

I think I look a lot better looking in the other one, anyway, here's the proper size version of my avatar, I think I look like a total * * * * in it to be honest, I don't think it'd be good to use in my profile.

 

image removed

[Daddy Bear]

I don't think I actually have a hero.

not even John Cleese?

[yeawutever]

Ross_K how about putting a SMILE on that sad face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No need to look depress!!!!!!!!!

[Budman]

turn that frown, upside down.

 

(I don't know why, but that always makes me smile)

[Ross_K]

Ross_K how about putting a SMILE on that sad face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No need to look depress!!!!!!!!!

 

Hey I am smiling, but yeah, maybe I could do with smiling more.

[Budman]

You're smirking, want to see a smile.

 

image removed

 

Me and elaine smiling, and don't try to say its cause elaine was there. Its cause we're Happy.

[tylercdurden2004]

Watching satalitte TV but I wouldn't say I'm passionate about it. Sad yes, but I'm being honest.

 

A man without passion is a man without himself.

 

Ross I am in disagreement with the majority of posters on this thread. I dont even think you're remotely ready to begin interacting with girls in a realtionship sense nor being open to others, because you are not open with yourself. I think alot of the advice you are getting here is of the "cart before the horse variety". I am not trying to p*** on your parade here Ross. But how can you begin to even consider a "relationship" with someone else when you clearly dont have a relationship with yourself.

 

You have not really done anything for yourself your whole life. How can you do something for a person you are in a relationship then? Again I think you need to get away from your mother. It seems to me from what you have said earlier that she is very over bearing. It seems to me that she has never really let you go out into the world and find yourself without her influence. This is a bad situation to be in. If all you've ever done is to your mothers approval, then how can you have any idea of what you approve of or esteem in life? This is clear by your lack of standards regarding women.

 

Its sucks to say it but you have a lot of work ahead of you before you can even begin to think about sharing yourself with another. I think you will only set yourself up for more and more failure by merely focussing on your looks (avoiding the more difficult issues of personal worth) and finding a woman to carry you. No healthy realtionship is based on one person leaning on the other for their self worth. You simply cannot find self worth in others, only in yourself. Having no passions to fall back on when times get tough makes the tough times even tougher. Think of all the great love songs ever written. They all came from a place of hurt. Being hurt by a woman has the most beneficial aspect, of being able to channel that hurt into another passion. And you have none.

 

Passion is a trial and error thing. Going out trying new things and not being afraid of failure. I defined passion for myself one night while talking with a friend:

 

PASSION: LOVING SOMETHING WITHOUT THE FEAR OF FAILURE

 

I really think it near impossible for you to do things in parallel, that is at teh same time. I would like it to be that you can go out start dating while at the same time finding yourself. For you I think this is very very difficult. It would be my suggestion that you NEED to find yourself first, that is the things you are passioante about and that define you as a person. If watching TV is a passion, cool, if flying to the moon is a passion, equally cool. BUT and this is a big BUT, its very difficult for people to be attracted to others that have no passions. Its a dangerous game. You need passion in a variety of areas of your life to be truly "sucessful" and happy. OR at least something you are passionate. The next thing is finding someone who you can share your passions with, that does not mean they have the same passions, but that they support your passions and understand its what makes you, YOU.

 

The advice you are getting on this thread is EXACTLY the same advice you have been getting from others all along. Just from different people. And I truly feel its like pulling the tops of weeds off. You need to get to the root of the issue. I keep thinking to myself, what if you meet a girl? What are you going to tell her? I dont have anything in my life I enjoy, I am passionate about. Are you gonna tell her you are passionate about her?

 

Look at guys like Bud and Mac. The long list of things they have accomplished and are passionate about. Yet you can only say sattelite TV and that you are not even passionate about that. Ross your issues are about you, not women. Start dealing with it now. Not 10 years from now. NOW. If it takes moving out, washing dishes at a local restaurant, and taking some sort of course to learn somethign new. Then thats what you need to do. Only you can decide what best for you. ONLY YOU.

[MacGyverRI]

You're smirking, want to see a smile.

 

image removed

 

Me and elaine smiling, and don't try to say its cause elaine was there. Its cause we're Happy.

 

You can't fool me, Elaine had her hands on your wallet......

 

 

I've been on the phone but am also revamping Ross's profile

[MacGyverRI]

They either didn't respond at all or tell me they weren't interested, I think there was only one occasion where I had a poor me attitude.

 

Anyway, profile has been changed, I will move it to craigslist or/and tribe once I join them, and I've taken another picture.

 

use your local terminology as needed

 

 

My self-summary:

I can be shy, and I'm caring. I like beer, TV and going to town.

 

 

try this

I try my best to look at the world with an open attitude despite world problems. I'm usually out and about and enjoy a local pub or club. I'm thinking about trying to learn how to dance, anyone know of a good dance studio near me? I have no objection to learning new things and would like to try some adventuresome things also (not too keen on parachutes though....)

I tend to be a bit shy around new people so bear with me and I'll warm up quickly.

 

 

 

 

What I'm doing with my life:

Thinking of going to college.

 

anything else???

 

 

My favorite books, movies, music, and food are:

(a) Encyclopedia of bodybuilding needs a lot more

(b) The Goonies, Terminator needs WAY more movies, diff. types

 

© Rave, 80's & early 90's needs to be more specific, list bands/songs

 

(d) Chinese & Indian you have to like more than that or you will only attract Pakistan? women only

[AwdreeHpburn]

lol to the hand on the wallet thing -

 

Ross - did you really say a favorite book is the encyclopedia??

 

That's awesome.

 

I mean, a bit dry but you'll definitely attract the inellectual type with that one! And I DO like this picture better, but that's just ME. It's YOUR profile...

[MacGyverRI]

lol to the hand on the wallet thing -

 

Ross - did you really say a favorite book is the encyclopedia??

 

That's awesome.

 

I mean, a bit dry but you'll definitely attract the inellectual type with that one! And I DO like this picture better, but that's just ME. It's YOUR profile...

 

Umm, "Encyclopedia of bodybuilding" sure fire book to attract the ladies? not...

 

 

How about;

Edgar Allan Poe? or my interpretation; Once upon a mid-day dreary while we all pounded weak and weary on the keyboards giving Ross advice, there came a rapping,a gentle tapping on PM door....

 

Mark Twain, HG Wells, Henry David Thoreau, Jack London, Oscar Wilde, Walt Whitman, Non fiction? historical? Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter? Lord of the Flies? Psychology today mag.? some weekly local scandel magazine?

Cosmopolitan magzine or the UK counterpart?

[Ross_K]

lol to the hand on the wallet thing -

 

Ross - did you really say a favorite book is the encyclopedia??

 

That's awesome.

 

I mean, a bit dry but you'll definitely attract the inellectual type with that one! And I DO like this picture better, but that's just ME. It's YOUR profile...

 

Lol, which picture? What about my profile?

 

McGuyver (Is it Ken?) thanks for the profile, I guess I could use it and tweak it to suit me. My profile was quite short, I find it hard thinking of stuff to say. The thing is though I don't really want to make myself come accross as not myself, if you know what I mean, it makes me sound a lot more outgoing than I am (I don't even go to clubs)

[Ross_K]

Umm, "Encyclopedia of bodybuilding" sure fire book to attract the ladies? not...

 

 

How about;

Edgar Allan Poe? or my interpretation; Once upon a mid-day dreary while we all pounded weak and weary on the keyboards, giving Ross advice, there came a rapping,a gentle tapping on PM door....

 

Mark Twain, HG Wells, Henry David Thoreau, Jack London, Oscar Wilde, Walt Whitman, Non fiction? historical? Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter? Lord of the Flies? Psychology today mag.? some weekly local scandel magazine?

Cosmopolitan magzine or the UK counterpart?

 

I'm not really a book reading person though. I'm all for making my profile the best it can be to attract the most women, but I don't want to be false, I'd be less likely to attract the right type of women, and once most of the women meet me they'll discover I'm not really the same as I put myself accross.

[MacGyverRI]

Lol, which picture? What about my profile?

 

McGuyver (Is it Ken?) thanks for the profile, I guess I could use it and tweak it to suit me. My profile was quite short, I find it hard thinking of stuff to say. The thing is though I don't really want to make myself come accross as not myself, if you know what I mean, it makes me sound a lot more outgoing than I am (I don't even go to clubs)

 

 

Yes, it's Ken, MacGyver is basically what i'm like in real life, nothing is impossible to do and I'm called that a lot.

 

Have you been to a club yet? then get your * * * * down to one quick! People don't bite (much)

 

Do you care about world events? it's not a lie

 

Are you willing to try things? it's not a lie

 

Are you shy? I made it look better.

 

 

"but I don't want to be false"

 

Nobody want's that but you need to "upsell" what you do have.

Most people on dating (unfortunately) sites lie like crazy about things they never do.

 

"I'm not really a book reading person though"

 

Then get some short stories to read, O Henry (author) has tons of short stories in one book and is very famous considering he was in JAIL when he wrote them and "O. Henry" was actually the prison guards name

[Ross_K]

Yes, it's Ken, MacGyver is basically what i'm like in real life, nothing is impossible to do and I'm called that a lot.

 

Have you been to a club yet? then get your * * * * down to one quick! People don't bite (much)

 

I know you wont like this, and I'm sure you know what I'm about to say, and obviously no one is going to understand, but I have social anxiety, I cannot travel to a club at night and just sit there on my own in the corner.

 

Do you care about world events? it's not a lie

 

Yeah. But I think this with all the book reading makes me come accross as a lot more sophistacted than I am.

 

Are you willing to try things? it's not a lie

 

It depends on the things, but yeah it's true.

 

Are you shy? I made it look better.

 

 

"but I don't want to be false"

 

Nobody want's that but you need to "upsell" what you do have.

Most people on dating (unfortunately) sites lie like crazy about things they never do.

 

"I'm not really a book reading person though"

 

Then get some short stories to read, O Henry (author) has tons of short stories in one book and is very famous considering he was in JAIL when he wrote them and "O. Henry" was actually the prison guards name

 

But then wouldn't I be trying to be someone else?

[MacGyverRI]

I know you wont like this, and I'm sure you know what I'm about to say, and obviously no one is going to understand, but I have social anxiety, I cannot travel to a club at night and just sit there on my own in the corner.

 

 

 

Yeah. But I think this with all the book reading makes me come accross as a lot more sophistacted than I am.

 

 

 

 

But then wouldn't I be trying to be someone else?

 

Social Anxiety? IMO That's a fancy name for someone who is shy and it may actually be from an emotional trauma as a child or nothing more than needing a boot in the butt to get you to do something, but we've all been there.

 

This link may help you now;

Go here, Emotional Freedom Technique(link removed) and download the EFT Manual file.

 

"sophisticated"? no, just adding more knowledge. I have loved to read since I was about 10 yrs old and was way advanced in school because of it. I, and most other people read books for simple enjoyment. That's also a common interest for 90% of the people in the world on dating websites.

 

 

 

"someone else" No, you will just expand your knowledge. Who knows, you may even enjoy certain authors.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Umm, "Encyclopedia of bodybuilding" sure fire book to attract the ladies? not...

 

 

Oh lol - there goes that attention to detail thing again.

 

I need a nap.

[Scout]

Ross, you are already on the path towards finding a lasting relationship by sticking to the idea that you need to be fundamentally yourself. There's no point in attracting someone by falsely pretending to be something else, because if that's the kind of person they are looking for, they will inevitably be disappointed when they discover that's not who you are.

 

I'd be willing to help you with your ad profile, if you like. I'm a professional writer, and I think I can convey what you would like to get accross in an appealing way that will attract the right women to your ad. Remember, we're shooting for quality, not quantity here.

 

This is a free offer, by the way. And it's only extended to Ross at this time!

 

EDIT: MacGyver, not to imply your ad ideas aren't good. They are! Maybe Ross can pick and choose from some of both of our ideas. Just trying to help him stay true to himself in his ad, but I do agree with your tactic to also round it out with some facets he might not really think are important to include, but actually are.

[sophie274]

I agree. You need your life before you can share it with someone else. And you can't rely on finding intimacy with a woman to make you happy and confident.

 

I think you need to find some independence before you get involved in a relationship. And having a job, going to school, improving yourself by joining some activity will also allow you to meet people in a neutral setting and perhaps ease your SA.

[MacGyverRI]

EDIT: MacGyver, not to imply your ad ideas aren't good. They are! Maybe Ross can pick and choose from some of both of our ideas. Just trying to help him stay true to himself in his ad, but I do agree with your tactic to also round it out with some facets he might not really think are important to include, but actually are.

 

You will not offend me, we're all just trying to help him.

 

Unleash the Pro mode on him!

[Daddy Bear]

of course i don't advocate prostitution! what i did was remind someone who is capable of making his own choices and was mulling it over as a confidence booster to wear protection, not to expect fireworks and not to choose an act that would deny him the basic experience that was his goal.

 

regarding my overweightdate remark, that one also seems self-evident: it should not be surprising to those who know me that i would gain the most satisfaction from a site that catered to the type of woman that i like--and love. pet... did you honestly think that slightlybent would say that voluptuous women are desperate??

[AwdreeHpburn]

I WAS advocating that, yes.

 

Preferably in a place where its legal. What's wrong with consentual (sp) sex between adults when money exchanges hands? Seriously?

 

If someone decides to do that for a living and someone decides to utilize, I don't see the harm. i'm not advocating un-protected or un-safe sex. Neither am I advocating anyone take advantage of anyone else.

 

People pay for all kinds of services. Why is sex a taboo one? People do it for free all the time.

 

I'm not suggesting its the key to love and happiness. Or that sex with love ISN'T better, cuz I think it is, but its a means to an end.

 

If its legal, safe and consentual, I don't see the harm.

[doyathink]

OK, so what I've gotton so far is:

 

Tyler has passion!

 

Mac is the guy to look to write you a profile if the need arises!

 

TRS is cheering them all on with great enthusiasm and uplifting spirits!

 

Budman is llllaughingggg a lot and saying nnnnoooooo dude, not that profile!

 

SB made a couple of comments that Pet did-not-like, but has since cleared the air!

 

Ross REALLY wants to keep that profile up and is experimenting with JUST HOW LARGE HE CAN PUT THAT PICTURE UP ON OUR SCREEN! (wow, now that is a close up and no one can say they don't know what you really look like)

 

doyathink says Ross, you are now coming alive, good for you buddy. Umm...but don't forget the 'passion'. haha