One-week stay together turned into disaster

[So-Broken]

My bf and I have been together for a lil over 2 months now. I went overseas for 3 weeks, and 10/16/2023 came back to the country, stayed at his place for 6 days. I consulted him 4 days before returning home, if he would be ok for me to stay at his home. He said yes and he picked me up from the airport. I was excited about the new experience (sort of trying to see if we get along living together), and I was hoping he was excited too. He even self-roasted coffee beans so he could make gourmet coffee for me every morning during my stay (he is a great cook and expert in culinary). Came back from the airport to his home (it was almost midnight), he served me a gourmet warm dinner even tho he was exhausted from the airport traffic.

Everything seemed so sweet, like normal until he said he expects me to cook dinner during the stay. I have to let you all know, that on a daily basis, on weeknights his retired dad preps dinner for him and his siblings (2 houses, one compound). We all are in our 40s. I told him, no need to change his schedule or disrupt his habits. I will eat whatever his dad cooks for them. He insisted I won't like the taste of his dad's cooking so he wanted me to cook instead. I declined because (1) I don't feel comfortable cooking at a kitchen that is not mine, (2) his house/kitchen REALLY dirty and messy (bachelor's life) (3) I caught flu from my trip so feeling tired (4) his culinary skill is so great I feel pressure to cook. I did not tell him these 4 reasons I just declined and I could tell he was not happy. Nevertheless, that conversation ended, we got ready for bed, he even blowed dry my hair and we had intimacy.

Next day came, he made my coffee and breakfast then he went to work. I work remotely and I do not have a car. Later in the day my flu got worsened and I got severe acid reflux. He came home, did not smile, did not talk much, looking like bad mood and immediately started cooking porridge for me. I was bit sad, I thought when your lover comes home, will say "hey I am home", or give me a kiss". He did not. Nevertheless, he cared for me. He brought in the meal his dad cooked but I would be eating porridge due to acid reflux. I just said one thing "I'd like you to eat with me together, at the dining table". He replied his habit prefers to eat in front of the TV and watch TV after a day of stressful work.

I know I am a needy person (more during a new romantic relationship when I am still insecure, less needy when I feel safe about my relationship is in a stable phase). I think I might have said just for this time please eat together (because I don't live here forever, just this one week). He reluctantly obliged.

Wed, he came home told me he needed to have a Zoom meeting with his offshore office (at home). I told him yea go ahead. No prob. He brought the meals his dad cooked and he insisted that me to try like him, to eat in front of the TV. I did, he went to his meeting.

Thurs came, he called me in the afternoon and told me that on Friday he needed to have dinner with a potential client and may come home really late. He says he was not sure how to deal with my dinner. He even said how about asking me go home Friday morning so he does not need to worry about how to take care of me. To be honest, at that time I did feel upset that he was going to that dinner and not spending time with me on a Friday night. After half an hour, I told myself I could not be selfish, this was his career. So I texted my BF telling him to go ahead and we discuss how to deal with my Fri dinner when he comes home that night. I also asked if he could take me for a walk in the park as I had been stuck in his house for days since I landed. 

Friday came, morning when we were both still in bed, I asked him, how should we do bout my dinner (I don't have a car). He says he is not sure whether his dad cooks on Fridays because sometimes his dad only cooks M-Thurs. He told me to figure out myself. I was upset and showed him I was upset, turning my body/face to the other side of the bed. When it was time to get ready for office, he told me he knew what to do. He will leave the office earlier, buy me to-go meal, bring home & then drive to meet with the client. I said wow, that would be a lot of driving, I can just microwave the leftover in the fridge. He insisted he wanted to take this route, so I let him be.

I know I am a very picky eater. He asked me what would I like him to buy, so I told him specifically what I don't like. 

Unfortunately, his boss had a long meeting with him on Friday, so he could not leave early. He went to get me some meds and brought home the togo meals for me but he was extremely late, about 45 mins late to meet his client for dinner. I felt guilty, I did not eat the togo he bought me, only ate some dessert he bought because the whole week I have been really ill and suffering from acid reflux. He came home around 10pm. I went to the door and hugged him. His mood was bad. I asked him random questions, what's the name of the place, was it good, how late, bla bla bla. I just wanted to have a conversation with him. He sat down and took the remote control, I told him he could change to his channels,  (I was watching something else, but it was fine). I then asked, "are you upset at me" He frustratedly replied me "I am exhausted, I was so late to the dinner and I hate social types of dinners, putting up fake faces to please clients. Now, I am home, I just want to relax and not talk, can you let me be silent"?

I moved away, cleaned up the area, and went to his bedroom. After awhile, I came out and saw he fell asleep in his couch with TV on (he does that 6 days out of a week even when I don't stay with him). I woke him up and told him let's go in and sleep together in the bedroom. He was reluctant at first but he went in with me. The next morning (Saturday), in bed, I asked him, my stay here is it troubling you? He then replied "tell you the truth YES, I THOUGHT you were easy easygoing type but apparently you are not. You are picky eater, and I feel pressure this week." We started an argument throughout that Saturday 10/21. I felt hurt the way he talks down on me. At night on Saturday suddenly he says "dont mind my words...I will reflex on myself and words". Anyway, on Sunday morning10/24 came another argument started revolving about my eating habit. He says, we both need to go home think, and analyze all the incidents that happened the past week. We both need to have a break. As he was driving me home in the afternoon. I told him to stop aside, let's talk. He did. I told him I truly do not know what did I do create him pressure for the last 5 days. He says he felt so pressured the whole week, and he says picky eating is not the main issue but he did not really tell me why and what. When I continued to defend myself, he got more mad and said, just go home and he wants to clear his mind. He wants space to think.

10/23 Monday He did not text nor call me. I did not bother him either. Today 10/24 I called him at 1pm, he was eating lunch. I asked him how come did not contact me, he says busy. I asked if he is still mad, he says nothing to be mad about. He wants more time to think, he says. He THEN says "to think whether he wants to continue with me or not"....I replied...it was only small matter why need to talk about ending? (I was crushed). He says to him is a big issue, after I left his house, he felt no burden and no stress. He asked me give him more days to consider and during these days he does not want me to reach out. I told him lets meet Friday after work. he says OK.

I am crushed, I did not expect my stay will kill my relationship. Can I hear your advice? I really not sure what did I do that create the pressure he says... I am very crushed and sad. Worry and scare

[Batya33]

I think this is a brand new relationship. How did you meet?

I think that if you are a picky eater and staying at someone's family compound for 6 days bring your own food or go shopping for yourself and buy/prepare your own food.  Also I would have cancelled if I were getting over a flu/ill especially for a first time stay -and a long one.  You seem to have expected him to host you and prepare your coffee, your meals -do your hair? Meanwhile he expected you to cook all dinners (?)

You were too demanding/high maintenance IMO when he had to work.  Big deal if he is late bringing you dinner -he should not have to do that if he has to work -you should have told him -no worries I'll find something to eat.  Why all the focus on meals/meal times especially since you really only wanted bland food for your ailments?

I also think visiting someone for 6 days at their family home has nothing at all to do with seeing what it would be like to live together as a couple - you seem to be rushing and racing through this relationship and it sounds like you weren't even dating a whole two months? What is that all about?

I do find it very odd that he expected you to cook all dinners and didn't discuss this in advance. I also would not have felt comfortable.

You two just don't seem well-suited for each other. I am sorry!

[HeartGoesOn]

Too much, too soon.

After 2 months of meeting, you should be getting to know each other, spending time together, etc, rather than doing a test drive of living together.

Slow down and smell the coffee.

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, So-Broken said:

 I went overseas for 3 weeks, and 10/16/2023 came back to the country, stayed at his place for 6 days.

How did you meet? Were you on vacation in his county? How far apart are you? Are you from the same culture or speak the same language? 

Before this visit, what was your understanding of meeting him and visiting him again?  Was it clear you would be in his family's home and he would be working? 

Unfortunately you were ill and unprepared to be a guest. You expected to be waited on hand and foot and get pampered as if you were at a first class resort rather than a working man's house.

Are you still in communication? What exactly was the purpose of this visit if he was busy and you didn't have the ways and means to get around by yourself or even order food for yourself? 

 

[SherrySher]

1 hour ago, So-Broken said:

My bf and I have been together for a lil over 2 months now. I went overseas for 3 weeks, and 10/16/2023 came back to the country, stayed at his place for 6 days. I consulted him 4 days before returning home, if he would be ok for me to stay at his home. He said yes and he picked me up from the airport. I was excited about the new experience (sort of trying to see if we get along living together), and I was hoping he was excited too. He even self-roasted coffee beans so he could make gourmet coffee for me every morning during my stay (he is a great cook and expert in culinary). Came back from the airport to his home (it was almost midnight), he served me a gourmet warm dinner even tho he was exhausted from the airport traffic.

Everything seemed so sweet, like normal until he said he expects me to cook dinner during the stay. I have to let you all know, that on a daily basis, on weeknights his retired dad preps dinner for him and his siblings (2 houses, one compound). We all are in our 40s. I told him, no need to change his schedule or disrupt his habits. I will eat whatever his dad cooks for them. He insisted I won't like the taste of his dad's cooking so he wanted me to cook instead. I declined because (1) I don't feel comfortable cooking at a kitchen that is not mine, (2) his house/kitchen REALLY dirty and messy (bachelor's life) (3) I caught flu from my trip so feeling tired (4) his culinary skill is so great I feel pressure to cook. I did not tell him these 4 reasons I just declined and I could tell he was not happy. Nevertheless, that conversation ended, we got ready for bed, he even blowed dry my hair and we had intimacy.

Next day came, he made my coffee and breakfast then he went to work. I work remotely and I do not have a car. Later in the day my flu got worsened and I got severe acid reflux. He came home, did not smile, did not talk much, looking like bad mood and immediately started cooking porridge for me. I was bit sad, I thought when your lover comes home, will say "hey I am home", or give me a kiss". He did not. Nevertheless, he cared for me. He brought in the meal his dad cooked but I would be eating porridge due to acid reflux. I just said one thing "I'd like you to eat with me together, at the dining table". He replied his habit prefers to eat in front of the TV and watch TV after a day of stressful work.

I know I am a needy person (more during a new romantic relationship when I am still insecure, less needy when I feel safe about my relationship is in a stable phase). I think I might have said just for this time please eat together (because I don't live here forever, just this one week). He reluctantly obliged.

Wed, he came home told me he needed to have a Zoom meeting with his offshore office (at home). I told him yea go ahead. No prob. He brought the meals his dad cooked and he insisted that me to try like him, to eat in front of the TV. I did, he went to his meeting.

Thurs came, he called me in the afternoon and told me that on Friday he needed to have dinner with a potential client and may come home really late. He says he was not sure how to deal with my dinner. He even said how about asking me go home Friday morning so he does not need to worry about how to take care of me. To be honest, at that time I did feel upset that he was going to that dinner and not spending time with me on a Friday night. After half an hour, I told myself I could not be selfish, this was his career. So I texted my BF telling him to go ahead and we discuss how to deal with my Fri dinner when he comes home that night. I also asked if he could take me for a walk in the park as I had been stuck in his house for days since I landed. 

Friday came, morning when we were both still in bed, I asked him, how should we do bout my dinner (I don't have a car). He says he is not sure whether his dad cooks on Fridays because sometimes his dad only cooks M-Thurs. He told me to figure out myself. I was upset and showed him I was upset, turning my body/face to the other side of the bed. When it was time to get ready for office, he told me he knew what to do. He will leave the office earlier, buy me to-go meal, bring home & then drive to meet with the client. I said wow, that would be a lot of driving, I can just microwave the leftover in the fridge. He insisted he wanted to take this route, so I let him be.

I know I am a very picky eater. He asked me what would I like him to buy, so I told him specifically what I don't like. 

Unfortunately, his boss had a long meeting with him on Friday, so he could not leave early. He went to get me some meds and brought home the togo meals for me but he was extremely late, about 45 mins late to meet his client for dinner. I felt guilty, I did not eat the togo he bought me, only ate some dessert he bought because the whole week I have been really ill and suffering from acid reflux. He came home around 10pm. I went to the door and hugged him. His mood was bad. I asked him random questions, what's the name of the place, was it good, how late, bla bla bla. I just wanted to have a conversation with him. He sat down and took the remote control, I told him he could change to his channels,  (I was watching something else, but it was fine). I then asked, "are you upset at me" He frustratedly replied me "I am exhausted, I was so late to the dinner and I hate social types of dinners, putting up fake faces to please clients. Now, I am home, I just want to relax and not talk, can you let me be silent"?

I moved away, cleaned up the area, and went to his bedroom. After awhile, I came out and saw he fell asleep in his couch with TV on (he does that 6 days out of a week even when I don't stay with him). I woke him up and told him let's go in and sleep together in the bedroom. He was reluctant at first but he went in with me. The next morning (Saturday), in bed, I asked him, my stay here is it troubling you? He then replied "tell you the truth YES, I THOUGHT you were easy easygoing type but apparently you are not. You are picky eater, and I feel pressure this week." We started an argument throughout that Saturday 10/21. I felt hurt the way he talks down on me. At night on Saturday suddenly he says "dont mind my words...I will reflex on myself and words". Anyway, on Sunday morning10/24 came another argument started revolving about my eating habit. He says, we both need to go home think, and analyze all the incidents that happened the past week. We both need to have a break. As he was driving me home in the afternoon. I told him to stop aside, let's talk. He did. I told him I truly do not know what did I do create him pressure for the last 5 days. He says he felt so pressured the whole week, and he says picky eating is not the main issue but he did not really tell me why and what. When I continued to defend myself, he got more mad and said, just go home and he wants to clear his mind. He wants space to think.

10/23 Monday He did not text nor call me. I did not bother him either. Today 10/24 I called him at 1pm, he was eating lunch. I asked him how come did not contact me, he says busy. I asked if he is still mad, he says nothing to be mad about. He wants more time to think, he says. He THEN says "to think whether he wants to continue with me or not"....I replied...it was only small matter why need to talk about ending? (I was crushed). He says to him is a big issue, after I left his house, he felt no burden and no stress. He asked me give him more days to consider and during these days he does not want me to reach out. I told him lets meet Friday after work. he says OK.

I am crushed, I did not expect my stay will kill my relationship. Can I hear your advice? I really not sure what did I do that create the pressure he says... I am very crushed and sad. Worry and scare

Well, you didn't give him any time, you just decided to drop it on him that you're visiting.

You refused to help out with any cooking.

You demanded time when he was clearly exhausted from working all day.

You shut off all communication and turned away from him when you didn't get your own way.

His father is elderly. 

I realize you're visiting, but you did put a lot of pressure on him, and on his father.

He also has his own routine of what works for him, especially coming home and wanting silence to destress, you complained about that too.

I'm sorry, but you two are not compatible, and will never be compatible.

 

[So-Broken]

We are an official BF/GF (committed relationship) for 2 months. We met online. We are from the same culture, same language. I mentioned in my post, they live in 2 houses, same compound. They owned the properties together. He has his own unit with kitchen, his siblings and his dad in another unit - same compound. I went overseas and return to my country, the same country my BF lives. His home is 40 miles from mine, so I just wanted to stay for 1 week at his and he even agreed he wans to see how it feels. he expects me to cook during my stay which was a surprise to me. As mentioned in my post, on weeknights his dad cooks for his siblings and him (he buys the groceries, his dad cooks. That is their family arrangement for many years). I told him don't disrupt his routine, I will eat the same meal as him (his dad's cooking). I am a picky eater but never demanded for him to cook certain things. He was the one who insisted by saying he does not think I would like his dad's cooking hence wants me to cook during the stay. He also wants me to cook so he can feel like a couple/family/as-if married. I also mentioned I have to work as well but my job is work remotely. So I set up my workstation in his 2nd room of his house. He has to drive to the office. I did NOT complaint about him coming home late bringing me meal. I said he was late to meet his client on Friday. I honestly do not know what did I do that "gave him pressure". I am crushed and really want to be with him

[LootieTootie]

Hi So-Broken,

It sounds like you both are incompatible. What I gather is that you both are over 40-year old, and you both don't know how to be in a relationship.

If someone is visiting you and staying with you, you should never expect them to cook for you and tell them this when they landed.

If someone lets you stay with them for a week, you should not be sick infront of them for 7 days a week and remotely work.... this just seems like you're not sick and you're just making up your sickness.

So yes, I think you both are not compatible and you both need to work on being considerate of other people's feelings before getting into a relationship. 

[SherrySher]

34 minutes ago, So-Broken said:

We are an official BF/GF (committed relationship) for 2 months. We met online. We are from the same culture, same language. I mentioned in my post, they live in 2 houses, same compound. They owned the properties together. He has his own unit with kitchen, his siblings and his dad in another unit - same compound. I went overseas and return to my country, the same country my BF lives. His home is 40 miles from mine, so I just wanted to stay for 1 week at his and he even agreed he wans to see how it feels. he expects me to cook during my stay which was a surprise to me. As mentioned in my post, on weeknights his dad cooks for his siblings and him (he buys the groceries, his dad cooks. That is their family arrangement for many years). I told him don't disrupt his routine, I will eat the same meal as him (his dad's cooking). I am a picky eater but never demanded for him to cook certain things. He was the one who insisted by saying he does not think I would like his dad's cooking hence wants me to cook during the stay. He also wants me to cook so he can feel like a couple/family/as-if married. I also mentioned I have to work as well but my job is work remotely. So I set up my workstation in his 2nd room of his house. He has to drive to the office. I did NOT complaint about him coming home late bringing me meal. I said he was late to meet his client on Friday. I honestly do not know what did I do that "gave him pressure". I am crushed and really want to be with him

I read all of that the first time.

My opinion is the same.

You pressured him and his father and make it very awkward for everyone.

You turning away because you didn't get your own away, was childish.

I am trying to help you see why it went as badly as it did.

I feel like you're just wanting validation that your boyfriend was all the problem and it's not true.

You were not understanding, you were self centered and you created a lot of issues for him.

I'm sorry, but you two are not compatible.

[SherrySher]

18 minutes ago, LootieTootie said:

If someone is visiting you and staying with you, you should never expect them to cook for you and tell them this when they landed.

Under normal circumstances, yes.

But the impression that I got was that she and he were wanting to try to see how they worked as in living together.

If that were the case, then it makes sense that the boyfriend working all day, would ask that she help with making the evening meal.

At least that's how it read to me.

[So-Broken]

I did not want validation that my BF is the issue. I did not know and understand what actions I did that cause him feel stressed and wanted to take a break and consider dumping me. I see these as small matters, can be discussed and resolved with love. But why he had to consider about dumping me...I value this relationship and value him

[SherrySher]

From what I read, he was pretty clear to you on why he didn't feel it would work.

I'm not saying his way was correct, or your way was correct.

I am just saying that you two had opposite ideas on nearly all of it on how it should go and it caused a lot of distress and upset for both of you.

Bottom line, you two had loads of incompatibilities that are not fixable.

You both might work wonderfully with someone else, but as a couple, there are too many things that you both want opposite on.

[MissCanuck]

It was not a good idea to invivte yourself to stay for a week, much less expect his dad to prepare enough food to feed you as well. That's simply bad manners on your part. You were in the wrong there. 

Having said that, he was also wrong to expect you to do all the cooking. You both should have contributed, and not left it to Dad to handle. You and he are not children but you both behaved as such.  

In any case, it's pretty clear that you over-stayed your welcome and he realized you two are not compatible. I can't disagree with him that this is just not a match. 

[TacticalLinguine]

Sit back and reflect.. You can't act like a precious princess if you want a genuine adult relationship to work. You more or less invited yourself over, did nothing to contribute, acted like others had to serve to your needs, while you hand out and do whatever. 

That's not how it works. Apologise to your partner, and do better. 

[Kwothe28]

First off all its "too much too soon" to do all that after 2 months together.

Second of all, I am sorry, but you sound entitled. You expected him to cook for you, and not just any food but whatever you want because "Me picky eater". And insisted he tends to your needs. All while he was having stresfull week at work. We are suppose to make things easier for our partner, not harder. You made it harder. So no wonder he is having second thoughts about relationship. Now you may say "OMG I was sick". But that isnt an excuse as you shouldnt have gone to him if you were sick in the first place. What is worst you are sick with the flu. You could transfer that to him or even his elderly dad. You went to him to try to live together. And all the while havent lift a finger around his home and expected to be treated like a Princess. Why did you think you deserved such treatment is beyond me. When you are only dating for 2 months. You are not his wife nore his kids. So that he would have to do all that stuff for you. So no wonder he flipped by the end. Any normal person would to somebody who was seemingly there to freeload for a week. Without even wanting to lift a finger.

[Batya33]

My sense is also his idea to "experiment" was either self-sabotaging (as was your agreement) or because he already had doubts about your attitude -your entitlement might have been showing so he figured -let's see and confirm how things are if we're actually together - a poor choice this early on but perhaps he was on the fence.  Also you say he is a great cook -but his dad does all the cooking? So he makes you dinner after an exhausting trip but.... then his dad is going to cook? Makes little sense.  

You should have cancelled if you were at all under the weather especially in any contagious way -he lives with his dad and you were around his dad right?  And it's not a way to test how it would be to live together.

Last November while on vacation with my husband and teenage son in a small hotel room I badly wanted to keep my morning exercise routine.  I also badly need my morning coffee and breakfast is my favorite meal really.  They sleep in.  So I - woke up early, went to the gym.  The hotel restaurant was $$$$ and my husband would have been fine with it - but I know better than to spend $20 on scrambled eggs and toast.  Or go out at that hour and search for something open in my gym clothes. 

I came in quiet as a mouse.  No coffee because it's too noisy to brew and/or it would have been cold if purchased. In the hotel bathroom I set up at the sink - the cereal boxes I bought, the boxed milk, the plastic cutlery and napkins I brought from home and I had breakfast standing at the sink, quietly with the door closed.  I'd have done the same if my son wasn't there and my husband was sleeping.  It wasn't fun having no coffee, eating standing up in a bathroom but I was hungry and the alternatives were too high maintenance. 

This is the mindset/attitude I suggest you take on.  I'm a total foodie/love my coffee/love my routine and one would think on vacation I should "get" better than eating in the bathroom.  But in a marriage when you care about each other's basic needs you make do with sacrificing the extras.  I didn't starve, I shopped and prepped and organized beforehand so I wouldn't make noise getting my breakfast, and I got myself fed although not in the way I would have liked. But this is what we do within reason.  Be more reasonable.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, So-Broken said:

. His home is 40 miles from mine, so I just wanted to stay for 1 week at his 

If you are this close, why can't you just date regularly rather than camping out at his place for a week?  If you were too ill or having problems getting meals, why didn't you just go home?

[MrMan1983]

Never heard so much discussion/palava about dinners before.

[Sindy_0311]

9 hours ago, So-Broken said:

 I see these as small matters, can be discussed and resolved with love.

No in fact they are not small matters that can be resolved. These are your personality traits. You showed him who you are during these 6 days and he didn't like it. I'm sorry, but this sounds like END OF STORY. There is nothing more to do, Just move on. 

14 hours ago, So-Broken said:

I also asked if he could take me for a walk in the park as I had been stuck in his house for days since I landed

This..  you are a grown up, you could perfectly have gone out by yourself,  have a walk in the park or the neighborhood, or even go to the grocery store to get yourself something for diner?

Why in hell does he have to come home bring you dinner?? I just don't get it... Just prepare yourself another porridge or order something online... 

Did you know where he lives before going? Did you think about your stay in advance? Like what you would do during his working days, if there was some places to visit, or some great coffee shop, or did you just go there to wait for him at home during the whole day? Because if so, you could perfectly have prepared all diners... Gosh! 

[Jaunty]

I just can't wrap my mind around a person inviting themselves to stay at the family home of a person they've only been dating for two months and expecting to be catered to by the family for - for a full week!  So you lost me there.

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, Jaunty said:

I just can't wrap my mind around a person inviting themselves to stay at the family home of a person they've only been dating for two months and expecting to be catered to by the family for - for a full week!  So you lost me there.

Especially when sick with the flu AND having no transportation.

[Jaunty]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Especially when sick with the flu AND having no transportation.

I literally cannot imagine being a guest in someone's home and saying "what about MY DINNER????"   

[itsallgrand]

47 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

I literally cannot imagine being a guest in someone's home and saying "what about MY DINNER????"   

And knowing it's the elderly father who cooks the meals. Ahhh just have him cook my dinner. What?? Your first time staying over and that's the impression on him and his fam you want to make?

 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

10 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I am sorry, but you sound entitled...

I'm sorry too OP but this^ was my very first thought upon reading your post as well. 

Bottom line is this:  If you refuse to even attempt to understand your boyfriend's perspective about things and insist on becoming defensive and viewing things only your way, that you did nothing wrong and could have handled the situation better for you, him and everyone, I don't envision you being compatible with any man quite frankly. 

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but honestly, take yourself, your ego and hurt feelings out of this equation and view it as an objective observer.  

I think you may see it quite differently and understand what many posters here have been trying to explain to you. 

I'm sorry it didn't work out though, all the best moving forward.

[Jaunty]

This part kind of takes the cake:

Quote

Friday came, morning when we were both still in bed, I asked him, how should we do bout my dinner

  

I'm not sure what country this all took place in, OP, but I think almost everywhere has food delivery options, and things like Uber if, heaven forbid, you needed to venture out to take care of your own needs.   Since you are traveling internationally by yourself, I bet you have a cell phone and a credit card, though the quote above seems more like it came from a toddler than a woman in her 40s.

Anyway this ship has sailed ... at least I hope so, for the sake of everyone involved.

[MissCanuck]

20 hours ago, So-Broken said:

I also asked if he could take me for a walk in the park as I had been stuck in his house for days since I landed. 

No, you were not "stuck in his house."

You invited yourself there and chose to stay there. Seriously, OP. I am struggling to understand why you need to be catered to like this. You are too old to behave that way, and I say that as a woman also in my 40s. 

I am not suggesting he is a total prince, but your expectations and attitude need an adjustment too.