Intense dating then ghosted?

[storm_raya]

I met a guy who asked me for My number and gave me a story about his ex cheating on him. A few weeks later we met up. We got along amazing and had a good night. We met again the next week and I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce  . He ran away crying. I ran after him. He text me later to say he was still interested as he had deep feelings for me.

Texts were normal, everyday he text me, long poetic romance .

I tried to meet up again and he kept saying he had no money what was weird as he had several jobs and was trying to buy a house .

I eventually got him out, for 2 hours, i paid . He avoided talking about the elephant in the room since we last met and he left to see friends in another city.

He later called me weird with mates laughing in the background saying if I'd gone out with a friend he was no longer mad. I was at home in bed.

After then the romantic texts continued everyday  .however I could not get to see him. Skint, but I'll be OK next week. Skint. Sick. Then suddenly he said he was going through trouble with his ex. I tried to contact him as I would a friend but he blocked me off. 

He eventually answered the phone the next day and we had a long normal chat  . He'd already text me he loved me and he told me on the phone the same. He said it was hard as we couldn't properly be together anywhere due to his ex.

I told him if everything was genuine and meant to be of be with him and waiting at the other side of his troubles .

 

Since then he changed  . No more morning texts. I got ghosted for 2 days and when he finally replied. With my texts on not read. (Whatsapp) it ignored everything I sent. And just said "good morning '. I called and he quickly whispered something down the phone then shut it off. I've no idea what he said. I'm still ghosted and all I can think of is he lied. He has a girlfriend  ,or several. As my gut feeling kept joking and telling him from day one .

 

I don't understand how he cried and had guts to tell me such a strong word to this for no reason 

He knows I've been hurt in past why do this to someone. 

[MissCanuck]

13 minutes ago, storm_raya said:

We met again the next week and I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce  . He ran away crying. I ran after him. He text me later to say he was still interested as he had deep feelings for me.

Does this sound normal to you for a second date?

14 minutes ago, storm_raya said:

He'd already text me he loved me

He doesn't love you. He barely knows you. 

15 minutes ago, storm_raya said:

all I can think of is he lied. He has a girlfriend  ,or several

I would bet my bottom dollar on that. 

15 minutes ago, storm_raya said:

I don't understand how he cried and had guts to tell me such a strong word to this for no reason 

You cannot take people like this seriously. Avoid love-bombers. They aren't being sincere and you need to run from them. 

[Kwothe28]

32 minutes ago, storm_raya said:

I met a guy who asked me for My number and gave me a story about his ex cheating on him. A few weeks later we met up. We got along amazing and had a good night. We met again the next week and I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce  . He ran away crying. I ran after him. He text me later to say he was still interested as he had deep feelings for me.

 

Who even tells how ex cheated right after meeting somebody? Who cries because you told him about your divorce?

Why did you ignored red flags like that? And why are you surprised that somebody with that intensity is capable of being intense with their emotions including just ghosting you when he was done with you?

[shouldhavelearned]

Move on

Not worth the drama

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, storm_raya said:

I met a guy who asked me for My number and gave me a story about his ex cheating on him. I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce.

Sorry this is happening. How did you meet?  How old is he? Are either of you still living with your spouses? Were you ever at each other's homes? 

Unfortunately he doesn't seem ready willing or able to date. He was making up excuses. It seems like he was just looking for some fun on the side.

It's good he blocked you, now all you have to do is delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

[storm_raya]

Hi all..I'm nearly 40 he's mid 30s. Maybe that's a lie. He acted immature in some ways looking back.

He was always After coming to mine very eagerly but dates was put off.

I couldn't go to his house as he gave me some bs story He was with a mate because his ex had his house . And he wanted to respect his mate who sold dodgy goods .

I think I listened and believed everything as I was desperate for love. To feel loved and not be hurt for once .

I was drawn in by long romantic messages and going on dates. Something I never did with any of my last partners, they'd never even go out for meals, drinks, cinema nothing. So for all of that I was happy .

He kept mentioning mental health probs when he forgot small details about me and I told my brain that's all it was. 

What a fool 💔

[Jaunty]

If you meet a guy and within the first two dates he's running away crying and telling you he has "deep feelings" for you, he's obviously a complete mess.  

You had all the information you needed right at that moment to forget about him.  

[HeartGoesOn]

4 hours ago, storm_raya said:

We met again the next week and I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce  .

I think the bottom line is when you told him you were going through a divorce, which means you're still married and not available to date.

He obviously doesn't want to be involved in that, and who could blame him?

[catfeeder]

If someone isn't willing to take you out on a date, this is all you really need to know. Walk away. 

When someone hooks you with words yet treats you in an opposite way, pay attention and ditch him.

If you want to stop wasting your time on flakes and users, you'll need to learn how to walk away from flakes and users.

[lostandhurt]

Step one is finalize your divorce.  Step two heal up and be totally good on your own.

THEN you will be in a good space to date and not fall for these flakes and liars as there are tons of them out there.  Once you have your feet on the ground, are comfortable being single your vision will be really sharp and you will be able to spot this type of thing and end it quickly. 

You simply wanted it too badly and convinced yourself it was real and okay just so you could feel wanted and loved.  It happens to all of us from time to time so don't beat yourself up over this.  Lesson learned right?

 Lost

[smackie9]

He's back with his ex, trying to feel things out with her while keeping you on the hook with breadcrumbs. I'm sure he won't be chasing you down if you cut him off.

[NighttimeNightmare]

You’ve confused dysfunctional intensity with love 

[rainbowsandroses]

On 10/15/2023 at 7:35 AM, Jaunty said:

If you meet a guy and within the first two dates he's running away crying and telling you he has "deep feelings" for you, he's obviously a complete mess.  

Well said!!  Pretty much sums it up.

Learn from this.

[SooSad33]

On 10/15/2023 at 6:47 AM, storm_raya said:

I met a guy who asked me for My number and gave me a story about his ex cheating on him. A few weeks later we met up. We got along amazing and had a good night. We met again the next week and I thought be honest tell him I am going through a divorce  . He ran away crying. I ran after him. He text me later to say he was still interested as he had deep feelings for me.

He's fake. His words mean nothing!

He's still invested in another woman.

Anytime a guy mentioned issue's still w/ an ex, you walk away.

No sense in wondering 'why' he'd do this to you, knowing how you've been hurt in the past, he doesn't care about that 😕 .

Maybe just continue on with your divorce and your own healing.  Not dating at this time.

 

[Sindy_0311]

He ran away crying. I ran after him.

I tried to meet up again and he kept saying he had no money what was weird as he had several jobs and was trying to buy a house .

I eventually got him out, for 2 hours, i paid . 

I tried to contact him as I would a friend but he blocked me off. 

On 10/15/2023 at 12:47 PM, storm_raya said:

He knows I've been hurt in past why do this to someone. 

Because he knows you have no boundaries. He can tell you whatever he wants or act weird, you accept it and you do the same (in bold). I'm sorry you have been hurt in the past, but now you are 40 and I think its time to protect yourself from players and cheaters by showing some sense of self worth... 

It really surprised was when you said he ran away crying. I mean if guy does that in front of me after our first or second date, I run away, and surely don't run after him. This guy is either playing you or is an emotional mess as others said.

But you can choose who you want to deal with and allow in your life... If you let low-value men come into your life, you will mostly get hurt. Thats my point of view. 

This guy vented about his ex, he told you he had no money and you paid for the date, he told you he loved you after what, 2 dates? Why do you even accept these cheap behaviors?  

Instead of asking yourself why he did that, I suggest you ask yourself why you still engage with that kind of low-value guys... 

I wish you the best!

[jul-els]

Love bombing? Broke? Insecure? Next.