My ex broke up with me but still wants to go on vacation together?

[Jamielynn]

My boyfriend (28m) and I (26f) have been dating for two years, throughout these two years we’ve had plenty of ups and down. Last week we went on vacation  and got into a heated fight because his ex girl was magically unblocked. Things got physical. He called me a racial slur and choked me. I know I should have left him then because dv is not okay. Because he did that out of anger told him that I cheated on him when I did not. However, we talked it out and we enjoyed the rest of our trip. Well my high school boyfriend has this weird habit of calling me every so often. So the other night when me and my boyfriend were together.

My ex called and my current boyfriend made it a big deal and accused me of cheating on him. Even though I didn’t, Stormed out my house and hasn’t spoken to me in two days. We work together and today he walked right past me. We booked a trip together right after our last trip to go Vegas next month. I paid for the flights he paid for the hotel. flights are pretty much non refundable I can get an e credit and I will lose 250 for the cancellation fee he booked the non refundable hotel. I know what the right choice is. My boyfriend (28m) and I (26f) have been dating for two years, throughout these two years we’ve had plenty of ups and down. Last week we went on vacation  and got into a heated fight because his ex girl was magically unblocked.

Things got physical. He called me a racial slur and choked me. I know I should have left him then because dv is not okay. Because he did that out of anger told him that I cheated on him when I did not. However, we talked it out and we enjoyed the rest of our trip. Well my high school boyfriend has this weird habit of calling me every so often. So the other night when me and my boyfriend were together. My ex called and my current boyfriend made it a big deal and accused me of cheating on him. Even though I didn’t, Stormed out my house and hasn’t spoken to me in two days. We work together and today he walked right past me. We booked a trip together right after our last trip to go Vegas next month. I paid for the flights he paid for the hotel. flights are pretty much non refundable I can get an e credit and I will lose 250 for the cancellation fee he booked the non refundable hotel. I know what the right choice is. 

[Wiseman2]

37 minutes ago, Jamielynn said:

 He called me a racial slur and choked me. we talked it out and we enjoyed the rest of our trip. . We work together and today he walked right past me. We booked a trip together right after our last trip to go Vegas next month. I paid for the flights he paid for the hotel. flights are pretty much non refundable.

 Do you live with your parents? Please research "cycle of violence". You can also look up information on domestic violence and contact agencies for support. If you work together be very careful.

[boltnrun]

Money and points will do you no good if he succeeds in choking you to death this time.

[Cherylyn]

Being accused is the same as calling you a liar.

As for the ex boyfriend and going on a vacation together,  no.  You wouldn't have a good time anyway. 

[catfeeder]

Call the airline and pay a fee to change your flight to another time when you can go with a friend or family member. 

As for his flight, you can ask him via text for repayment, and save the text message. Then use the receipt and your written request to take him to small claims court for the payment.

Otherwise, just eat the cost of his flight as a tuition payment for the school of life that teaches you the importance of staying away from violent people.

You escaped with your life. Keep it that way.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Jamielynn said:

Things got physical. He called me a racial slur and choked me.

After that, only thing he should be going is jail. Not vacation.

Why are you saying to somebody violent that you cheated on him? Why do you even have your ex calling you? Why does he has his ex contacting him? Why are you even carying about your plane tickets when a man who could have killed you should go with you there? Such toxicity from both sides.

He just doesnt want to lose money. Its not about you at all.

[Batya33]

47 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

After that, only thing he should be going is jail. Not vacation.

Why are you saying to somebody violent that you cheated on him? Why do you even have your ex calling you? Why does he has his ex contacting him? Why are you even carying about your plane tickets when a man who could have killed you should go with you there? Such toxicity from both sides.

He just doesnt want to lose money. Its not about you at all.

I agree with all. It's a throw money at the -huge!! - problem here.  You'd spend the money on legal fees and or doctor fees if you interact with him in person ever again.

[SooSad33]

4 hours ago, Jamielynn said:

Things got physical. He called me a racial slur and choked me. I know I should have left him then because dv is not okay. Because he did that out of anger told him that I cheated on him when I did not.

 

Okay, this ALL sounds crazy! 😕 

He should NEVER be touching you like that, no matter what!

And YOU shouldn't be adding fuel to the fire by saying things like you cheated on him!  Like.. why?  Is what I want to know.

 

Anyways, you two are toxic to each other.

Get out of all of this.. don't beg or chase for his attention at all - Ever!

You get your refund and avoid him at all costs, fps!

 

[shouldhavelearned]

End this now

Possible restraining order with the violence 

[smackie9]

Ditch the ex, and have a female friend/sister/cousin/coworker take his place. You will definitely have a way better time.

[Spawn]

too much drama & violent behaviors, right? see if you can avoid it, money can be earned later, your safety is most important

[Jaunty]

Is the guy even an ex, really?  Sounds like just another typical fight in a relationship that is defined by this kind of thing.  He stormed out of your house and you haven't spoken for 2 days, but this doesn't mean that you're really broken up.  This is probably just part of your repeating cycle.  

Please take this seriously:  You DO need to really break this off, stop the madness, and certainly don't go on vacation or do any more activities with this violent man.  

You're playing a role in this and it will all be to your own detriment.

[AnimeFanDude]

You need to end this and fast. This does not sound like a good situation at all.

[Cherylyn]

That's like saying a break up occurred but let's have a good time anyway whether it's a vacation,  dining out for dinner,  being invited to their party and continuing a social life with said person even if it's sporadic or at random.  It doesn't make any sense. 🙄 There will always be bad energy,  resentment,  bitterness,  unresolved issues,  unaddressed issues and most of all,  you'll never be able to enjoy the occasion.  It's unpleasant and you'll regret agreeing to this diversion.  You will prefer to have stayed home instead or doing something else where you could relax your mind safely.  Never set yourself up and be with people who were not good to you,  who were unkind or dared to disrespect you on all fronts.  Your dignity comes first and foremost which is non-negotiable and never up for debate.  Get that straight.   😕  😒

[catfeeder]

4 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

That's like saying a break up occurred but let's have a good time anyway

It's like saying an assault occurred, and the perp would like to see me again...

[boltnrun]

16 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

It's like saying an assault occurred, and the perp would like to see me again...

I would go so far as to call it an attempted homicide. He choked her. Luckily he didn't succeed this time but I wouldn't give him another chance to finish the job.

[Cherylyn]

18 hours ago, catfeeder said:

It's like saying an assault occurred, and the perp would like to see me again...

Yeah, that's right.  Unfortunately,  it happens more often than you'd like to think.  Trauma bonding,  enabling and the like,  it's all the same.