A guy who used to like me added me on Snapchat? We used to be good friends

[niinaa]

We used to work together. He used to like me apparently. He got married and then divorced and started telling people that I was his “the one that got away”. He could have pursued me before he got married as we were both single? Anyway, not spoken in 10 years but he’s recently found me and added me on Snapchat. He started messaging me and asking questions about my husband and how long I have been married etc. He then stopped messaging me after he got his answers and hasn’t opened up my last message. He’s the first one to open my stories especially if there’s a picture of me. We are both married (he’s married again). I don’t feel anything for him but we were really good friends once upon a time. Is this normal behaviour…what are his intentions and why is he ghosting me?

[Coily]

He was wanting the one that got away. Just sniffing around hoping for something, when he found out that you weren't an option he went off on his merry way.

probably best to remove him from social media.

[MrMan1983]

49 minutes ago, niinaa said:

We used to work together. He used to like me apparently. He got married and then divorced and started telling people that I was his “the one that got away”. He could have pursued me before he got married as we were both single? Anyway, not spoken in 10 years but he’s recently found me and added me on Snapchat. He started messaging me and asking questions about my husband and how long I have been married etc. He then stopped messaging me after he got his answers and hasn’t opened up my last message. He’s the first one to open my stories especially if there’s a picture of me. We are both married (he’s married again). I don’t feel anything for him but we were really good friends once upon a time. Is this normal behaviour…what are his intentions and why is he ghosting me?

You’ve pretty much answered your own questions, he decided to sniff around and see if you were accessible then once he found out you’re taken and settled he’s gone again. Not a lot to read into there. Plus shouldn’t matter why he’s ghosting. 

[SooSad33]

I'd say he;s ghosting you because you're not available and he won't get anywhere with you... is a shame really, as he IS married again and is acting this way, lol.

I say no loss.  This guy's not up to par. And you carry on 😉 

[niinaa]

He knew I was married before he messaged me though?

[Kwothe28]

13 minutes ago, niinaa said:

He knew I was married before he messaged me though?

You do know that you being married(or them for that matter) doesnt stop some people?

He just wanted to "feel the teritory". To see if you are opened for affair. If you said how marriage is not going great he would probably pursue more. But like this, he just went away. I wouldnt be bothered by "one that got away" talk. If he meant it, yes, he would pursue you while you were both single. He just wants affair.

[niinaa]

So these questions aren’t normal? It’s not an old friend just wanting to know what I’ve been up to?

[MissCanuck]

Why is it important for you to know what his intentions are? 

You are married. 

[niinaa]

Because we were really good friends. I just wondered whether I am reading too much into it.

[MrMan1983]

3 minutes ago, niinaa said:

Because we were really good friends. I just wondered whether I am reading too much into it.

How would your husband feel about you being friends with a guy that described you as ‘the one that got away’ out of interest? 

[MrMan1983]

Also what’s with the Snapchat thing, weird medium to use as a tool for exchanging platonic messages with people 😆

[smackie9]

Really good friends? That was then, this is now. Him blabbing on about the one that got away was probably just conversation to make himself feel better. You are reading too much into this. He contacted you out of the blue...that's normal. He doesn't respond, that can be normal too. Why he did it, there could be many reasons. Why he didn't respond? same. He's the only one that knows. We can guess at this all day...still won't get you much. 

Let go of the past, and just dismiss this. I have had this happen to me in the past, guys contacting me then dropping off the end of the earth. I look at it something stupid just happened and I can't bother wasting my energy thinking about it. There are more important things. 

[MissCanuck]

12 hours ago, niinaa said:

I just wondered whether I am reading too much into it.

Are you hoping he is still interested in you? 

That's what I'm sensing. 

[niinaa]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Are you hoping he is still interested in you? 

That's what I'm sensing. 

No, we are both married with kids. I am hoping it’s platonic and I am reading too much into it and people might say what he’s asking is normal. We were good friends. I don’t mind having a friendship with him. Hence the thread, if it’s not platonic, I can stop messaging. 

[MrMan1983]

11 minutes ago, niinaa said:

No, we are both married with kids. I am hoping it’s platonic and I am reading too much into it and people might say what he’s asking is normal. We were good friends. I don’t mind having a friendship with him. Hence the thread, if it’s not platonic, I can stop messaging. 

Was he married when he said the one that got away thing? 

[niinaa]

2 minutes ago, MrMan1983 said:

Was he married when he said the one that got away thing? 

No, he got divorced and told mutual friends that he regretted not pursuing me instead. I think he was hoping we get together but I was with someone who is now my husband. 

[niinaa]

19 hours ago, MrMan1983 said:

How would your husband feel about you being friends with a guy that described you as ‘the one that got away’ out of interest? 

My husband knows. He finds it funny that he seems to be interested in him.

[Jaunty]

Why are you asking here about this guy's intentions?

He's behaved like a flake the whole time you've "known" him.   Bottom line:  he's some guy you worked with a long time ago.  Nothing more.  His fantasy life or whatever is not anything you need to be concerned with.

[Batya33]

I'd simply chalk it up to him putting out feelers. He didn't ghost you he simply didn't respond to a snapchat message -you're making this much much more than it is -a few random messages and then he moved on.  

[Jaunty]

On 6/21/2023 at 7:17 AM, niinaa said:

 I am hoping it’s platonic and I am reading too much into it and people might say what he’s asking is normal. We were good friends. I don’t mind having a friendship with him. Hence the thread, if it’s not platonic, I can stop messaging. 

Of course you're reading too much into it.  It's meaningless BS.   

Since YOU are insisting on making a big deal out of nothing, you really do need to stop messaging this man.  Obviously you're fantasizing about how he's carrying a torch for you ... because Snapchat?  

You're a grown married woman with kids, you don't need to be paying attention to this kind of nonsense.  Unless you would like to be free to date.  In that case, you need to bring some things up with your husband.

[Capricorn3]

Sounds like you're getting ready to play with fire (and hoping he wants you).  Is it really worth it ... considering you are married with children?

Reading way too much into it.  Let it go already. Focus on your family.

[MissCanuck]

On 6/21/2023 at 4:17 PM, niinaa said:

No, we are both married with kids.

That doesn't mean you don't have a bit of hope that this man still likes you. 

[MrMan1983]

Plus, both using Snapchat...what's that all about.

[Wiseman2]

On 6/20/2023 at 12:52 PM, niinaa said:

 started telling people that I was his “the one that got away”. He started messaging me and asking questions about my husband and how long I have been married etc. He then stopped messaging me after he got his answers and hasn’t opened up my last message. 

What people were telling you he claims "you're the one who got away"?  It seems like he lost interest after catching up. So whatever it is you discussed may have turned him off to staying friends.  That's ok. It was just a passing encounter.

[niinaa]

4 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

That doesn't mean you don't have a bit of hope that this man still likes you. 

No, I was hoping he does not like me. We were like best friends and it was nice to hear from him. I was hoping he did not have any feelings for me so we could at least be friends?