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Nervous for a date

Alex39

By Alex39
in Dating Advice

kamurj
Message added by kamurj,

Dear members, please stop debating each other and focus on the OP's post.

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itsallgrand Grand Master

itsallgrand

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Alex39 said:

I do think we need to get out more and do things to bond together. He told me his money was tight this week, so we probably can't go out until next week. He was honest. But assured me that once he settles with a new work paycheck we can go out. 

Ok but he can still put effort in by doing cute, cheap or free things. He's being kinda a lazy boy lol.

 

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Jaunty
Jaunty

That's because we have our priorities in order around here.

boltnrun
boltnrun

Way too soon IMO. Two days ago you were considering forgetting about him because he'd cancelled on you again.  And haven't you only gone on a few dates over less than a month? Don't be so ov

boltnrun
boltnrun

Isn't this a first date? No need to be thinking about anything other than "is this man polite? Is he engaging me in conversation or only talking about himself? Is he considerate of wait staff? Of me?

MrMan1983 Experienced

MrMan1983

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Type O Negative said:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no way man. I'd tell you the name of the band he played for but I'll bet ten million it'll mean nothing to you, sadly..

I’m 99.99% sure I won’t know who they are, my knowledge of bands is pretty mainstream. Still reckon it’s Whirling though and plot twist you’re Doctor Lady. 

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Type O Negative Community Regular

Type O Negative

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, MrMan1983 said:

I’m 99.99% sure I won’t know who they are, my knowledge of bands is pretty mainstream. Still reckon it’s Whirling though and plot twist you’re Doctor Lady. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 dying laughing ha ha ha ha ha. 

They were big within the late 90s goth scene in London.

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Alex39 Mentor

Alex39

Posted
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Posted
2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Is he bringing at least half of the supplies for cooking together?

You're at your place, using your utilities. At least he can shell out for groceries.

We haven't gotten into details yet. From what I know and see of him,I don't see him not contributing. He is giving in that way. 

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Type O Negative Community Regular

Type O Negative

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

We haven't gotten into details yet. From what I know and see of him,I don't see him not contributing. He is giving in that way. 

OMG, it really isn't important who gets ingredients for dinner etc. He can do a couple of handyman projects round yours as a thank you, issue solved. Main thing is to have a great time in the process!!

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

He has all these work things after work that he has to stay late for a couple time this week. So I'm trying to be supportive. 

Supportive by not asking him to come see you ?  It’s just - common sense - people who work sometimes have to work late or go to work events. It’s not supportive it’s just a typical part of dating.  Work comes first particularly since he really needs the money. It’s supportive if he seems exhausted at night and he calls you and you say you’re sorry he has to work so late and perhaps you keep it short so he can chill. 
 

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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23 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

He has all these work things after work that he has to stay late for a couple time this week. So I'm trying to be supportive. 

You're seeing him Saturday. What is there to be "supportive" about? Take a deep breath and relax. . Won't you be talking/texting anyway? 

Your second date suggestion was "cooking together at your house", so it seems you've been eager to do this. However it's more appropriate now than for a second date. Keep in mind he blew that off for a party he "forgot" about, so don't forget to confirm your plans closer to the weekend.

This is why I recommended something simpler like take out. He's supposedly staying over? So breakfast too? Having a sleepover at this point in your dating timeline is fine, but be careful about playing house too soon.

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LootieTootie Mentor

LootieTootie

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, MrMan1983 said:

Yep a lot of the best dates are free and outdoors. 

One of my best dates was with my now husband. We went inside a bookstore and literally spent all day inside because we couldn't stop browsing at new books we wanted to "read." After 5 hours of browsing the bookstore independently, we had 2 dozen books and talked about why we wanted to read each book and you know how many books we walked out with?

None 😄 

It was so much fun.

Alex, try it. Maybe you and this guy can find a topic you both like in the bookstore.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Alex39 said:

He has all these work things after work that he has to stay late for a couple time this week. So I'm trying to be supportive. 

You claimed his birthday is this week? You also mentioned he was going on vacation with his family? Are you sure you're understanding each other?  

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You claimed his birthday is this week? You also mentioned he was going on vacation with his family? Are you sure you're understanding each other?  

Alex, you said his birthday is Friday, he's going to a concert Thursday and then on vacation with his family a few days afterward. So the plan is for him to stay over Saturday and then ???

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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4 hours ago, Alex39 said:

 we talked about making dinner on Saturday night together. 

Please make sure you're not still interpreting "talked about" as dates. Especially when he suddenly has to work late every night this week, his birthday is coming up, he's going to a concert, he's going on vacation,etc.  He seems to have a lot of time, plans he makes and money for partying with friends and family. But whatever you discuss him, everything is unclear and you're worried about cheap dates that seem difficult to pin down.  So I wonder if you two cross signals and just text flirty banter that's misunderstood?

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