Nervous for a date

[Sindy_0311]

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I was kidding!!

Of course. I know 😂

[rainbowsandroses]

Batya, I think she's creating stories in her mind to make what would be unacceptable to most, acceptable. 

It's called denial. 

To acknowledge otherwise would mean expressing her true thoughts and feelings thus risking him thinking "not worth the effort" and fading out OR her being faced with ending it herself and looking for something healthier with a man willing to put forth the effort.

[Batya33]

6 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Batya, I think she's creating stories in her mind to make what would be unacceptable to most, acceptable. 

It's called denial. 

To acknowledge otherwise would mean expressing her true thoughts and feelings thus risking him thinking "not worth the effort" and fading out OR her being faced with ending it herself and looking for something healthier with a man willing to put forth the effort.

Yes. Exactly what I meant. I wasn’t in denial about that lol. She’s afraid to rock the boat. 

[MrMan1983]

2 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Like we all said above 😂

Thought I would add my vote 😂

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Alex39 said:

 I am fine with at home dates.  So thats why we've been staying in. 

Do you like entertaining in your home? Some people enjoy that. If you have a nice garden or patio, you could BBQ and eat outside for a change of pace.

Or is it really that he's short on money the next several weeks? It's unfortunate his apt is small and in a bad area, but frankly, that's the problem with dating someone with financial problems.

There's a difference between preferring to stay home vs having to stay home to save money.

Keep in mind, you would have to be willing to drive to his area (even though you don't like driving or leaving the house) if you want to level the field and let him entertain you in his area or apt. 

What's important is that you don't set a precedent of being a free BNB or place to hang out when he's not busy with friends and family. 

[Jaunty]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

What's important is that you don't set a precedent of being a free BNB or place to hang out when he's not busy with friends and family. 

Right.  I'm not interested in casting aspersions on the guy unless he really earns it.  He's not planning it to be this way.  But, he does have time and energy to do stuff besides lounge around and IMO he needs to be spending some of it on this newly forming relationship. 

The precedent of lounging on the couch because it's so easy and the OP is down with it is probably not a great one to be investing in at this point.   No "memories" are being made.  I mean, "remember the time we were watching "RuPaul's Drag Race?" is not really going to carry you through the tough times.

[Alex39]

I don't mind saving money. Maybe I need to suggest cheaper things outside the house. We did sit out in my backyard the other night. I have a nice yard. We lit up a fire and sat talking for a while. Then we went inside and watched a movie and cuddled up. 

I mean he was saying how he's been bragging all about me at work to all the guys. That I'm his girlfriend. He's so impressed by my career and education. That I'm so smart and have a nice home.  And he said he was gushing to his mom about me too and his mom said he was turning into a sappy lovestruck boy. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Alex, this was mentioned previously but best to focus on a man's actions, not words. 

A man (person) can say anything they want if they believe it serves them a purpose, doesn't necessarily make it true. 

I've had men deeply in love with me and despite being quite proud to have me as their girlfriend, they never once told me how they bragged about me to their friends and family. 

I mean maybe they did, but why would they tell me this?  

Their actions told me everything I needed to know about how interested they were and how they felt about me.

Pay attention to his actions and the effort he makes.   

That's how you determine interest, not because he tells you he brags about you which again who knows is even true.

Words mean nothing without actions and effort to back those words up. 

 

 

 

[Alex39]

10 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Alex, this was mentioned previously but best to focus on a man's actions, not words. 

A man (person) can say anything they want if they believe it serves them a purpose, doesn't necessarily make it true. 

I've had men deeply in love with me and despite being quite proud to have me as their girlfriend, they never once told me how they bragged about me to their friends and family. 

I mean maybe they did, but why would they tell me this?  

Their actions told me everything I needed to know about how interested they were and how they felt about me.

Pay attention to his actions and the effort he makes.   

That's how you determine interest, not because he tells you he brags about you which again who knows is even true.

Words mean nothing without actions and effort to back those words up. 

 

 

 

I mean I consider the camping thing action. He's been buying us all supplies for our trip. So we're going. 

[Type O Negative]

12 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Alex, this was mentioned previously but best to focus on a man's actions, not words. 

A man (person) can say anything they want if they believe it serves them a purpose, doesn't necessarily make it true. 

I've had men deeply in love with me and despite being quite proud to have me as their girlfriend, they never once told me how they bragged about me to their friends and family. 

I mean maybe they did, but why would they tell me this?  

Their actions told me everything I needed to know about how interested they were and how they felt about me.

Pay attention to his actions and the effort he makes.   

That's how you determine interest, not because he tells you he brags about you which again who knows is even true.

Words mean nothing without actions and effort to back those words up. 

 

 

 

Actions AND words. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Just now, Type O Negative said:

Actions AND words. 

Exactly!

14 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Words mean nothing without actions and effort to back those words up. 

🙂

 

[rainbowsandroses]

7 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I mean I consider the camping thing action. He's been buying us all supplies for our trip. So we're going. 

Best to wait until it actually happens Alex, which I truly hope it does.

 

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

 I consider the camping thing action. He's been buying us all supplies for our trip. So we're going. 

It's great you're really into him and happy. However buying camping supplies is not really anything, sorry. 

You seem to like him as is and very ecstatic that he refers to you as his GF. 

[Sindy_0311]

1 hour ago, Alex39 said:

I mean I consider the camping thing action. He's been buying us all supplies for our trip. So we're going. 

When will you go? Next weekend? 
I’m not really into camping? What kind of supplies? Tent and sleeping bags? 

[MrMan1983]

3 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

When will you go? Next weekend? 
I’m not really into camping? What kind of supplies? Tent and sleeping bags? 

Probably a sofa 😆

[Sindy_0311]

7 minutes ago, MrMan1983 said:

Probably a sofa 😆

I like you, you are so funny 😂 

[rainbowsandroses]

16 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

When will you go? Next weekend? 

She said in around a month.  Late August? 

[rainbowsandroses]

6 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I like you, you are so funny 😂 

Lol, am I seeing a love connection here?  ❤️

j/k

[Alex39]

Camping is in one month. I'll be meeting his family. They are coming too. He's buying an expensive tent. He sent me a picture. And he's buying an air mattress and blankets. He asked if I could purchase some of the groceries for us to eat. I said sure. I think that's fair. 

[Batya33]

Just now, Alex39 said:

Camping is in one month. I'll be meeting his family. They are coming too. He's buying an expensive tent. He sent me a picture. And he's buying an air mattress and blankets. He asked if I could purchase some of the groceries for us to eat. I said sure. I think that's fair. 

Yes. And I’d hold off especially since most will be non perishable so you can  buy much closer to the time. 

[Alex39]

I had originally asked him to go out this week. He said he can't afford it but that he'd like to take me out next week when he gets paid. 

[Sindy_0311]

6 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Lol, am I seeing a love connection here?  ❤️

j/k

No, I’m committed to @Whirling D but he’s ignoring me 🥲

[Sindy_0311]

6 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I had originally asked him to go out this week. He said he can't afford it but that he'd like to take me out next week when he gets paid. 

I guess the tent and the mattress were expensive… 

what do you mean by “going out”? Why not saying “I want us to do something outside” instead 

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

Camping is in one month.  He asked if I could purchase some of the groceries for us to eat. I said sure.

How far away is his family?  Is there a reason you can't meet them before this? Do they go camping as a family often? Is he an only child? He's also going on a real vacation with them next week? 

Did you offer to buy groceries or did he really have the gall to ask you to chip in for food after "inviting you" to go camping because he's buying himself the equipment?

[Batya33]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

How far away is his family?  Is there a reason you can't meet them before this? Do they go camping as a family often? Is he an only child? He's also going on vacation with them next week? 

Did you offer to buy groceries or did he really have the gall to ask you to chip in for food after "inviting you" to go camping?

I actually found that odd too. Typically on a family camping trip there’s too much food.  Alex for sure might have offered and or brought something to share but when my boyfriends invited me on family trips or home for a holiday I was never asked to chip in.   I think I paid for my plane ticket but not even sure. I always brought or sent a gift.