When will be the right time to text to my ex?

[sapphire000]

Would like to ask you guys for any guidance. I have this great need to text my ex-girlfriend, you know, just to say hello, etc., but not so much as to rekindle anything or anything, just a pleasant text or something. approximately two months with no interaction whatsoever.
if it's not too much to ask, I'd want to know what kind of text to send.

[Batya33]

I would not text unless you also would feel totally comfortable calling and speaking with her.  If you do not feel she would want to hear from you -in an enthusiastic way-want to take your call unless she absolutely couldn't -to hear from you saying "hello" - then do not text because that is simply hiding behind a screen and pretending that "oh you know it's JUST a text."

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, sapphire000 said:

. approximately two months with no interaction whatsoever.

Has she contacted you? Or asked for space because of family problems?

[sapphire000]

I mean for me she was once a very special person to me, now she seems just another ordinary girl for me. I kinda dont have any excitement whether if she will respond or not. if she respond then okay I will reply casual if she doesn't its okay too.

[Kwothe28]

You are clearly far away from getting over her and accepting its over. So, dont send any text. "No contact" rule is good precisely because of those things. As you wouldnt relapse back and trying to get together. With somebody who clearly told you its over and that you should look for somebody else. If you dont have a mental strenght and you know that you would be tempted, then just block her. Trust me, its better for you that way.

[Coily]

Don't contact her, it will do nothing but hurt you and limit your ability to find someone new. Relish the happy memories and let her go.

[sapphire000]

I mean for me she was once a very special person to me, now she seems just another ordinary girl for me. I kinda dont have any excitement whether if she will respond or not. if she respond then okay I will reply casual if she doesn't its okay too.

[Jibralta]

I don't think there are any rules or "best practices" (lol) for contacting an ex. It's totally up to you!

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, sapphire000 said:

I mean for me she was once a very special person to me, now she seems just another ordinary girl for me. I kinda dont have any excitement whether if she will respond or not. if she respond then okay I will reply casual if she doesn't its okay too.

If so then absolutely leave her alone. 

[boltnrun]

2 hours ago, sapphire000 said:

I mean for me she was once a very special person to me, now she seems just another ordinary girl for me. I kinda dont have any excitement whether if she will respond or not. if she respond then okay I will reply casual if she doesn't its okay too.

I guarantee if you see she read your text and she doesn't respond you will feel absolutely "gutted".  You're pretending you'd be fine with being ignored but I assure you it will hurt.

She broke up with you very definitely.  And yes, you are clearly trying to rekindle even if you tell us (and maybe yourself) that you aren't.  A text isn't going to change her decision.  She'll contact you if she decides on her own that she made a mistake or regrets her decision.  In the meantime, respect her decision and don't contact her.  To respect her and for your own wellbeing.

[HeartGoesOn]

One step forward, and two back.  She'll see right through this, so it's time to start moving forward.

Don't get burned by the same flame twice.

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't do it. If it's as casual as you claim, then you don't 'need' to do it, and if it's emotionally charged enough to be a need, then who are you kidding? Not her.

[SooSad33]

13 hours ago, sapphire000 said:

I kinda dont have any excitement whether if she will respond or not. if she respond then okay I will reply casual if she doesn't its okay too.

How about you just leave as is.  You've come this far, why fall back now?

Keep moving forward, no expectations.  You two are done now- then be done.

[electricorchid]

I think it's best to review with yourself, and check in with your heart on WHY you feel the need to reach out. Is it really because you miss her? or you miss the companionship? Only you, not any of these people or me lol in the comments...we all don't know why you broke up. But there's always a reason, so if the answer is you just miss the companionship it's probably best to give it more time to move on. 

If the relationship wasn't toxic, and you think this person is the love of your life, I don't see why not.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, electricorchid said:

If the relationship wasn't toxic, and you think this person is the love of your life, I don't see why not.

I would say if this person is the love of your life and it was an amicable break up then reach out. Not by text unless text says "I'd like to speak by phone -when is a good time for you?" To me "not toxic" is not a high enough bar given the potential disruption, etc. 

My ex reached out and now we're married with a family.  I had reached out a month after we broke up because I missed him, etc and we didn't get back together. It was too soon and he's right -it wouldn't have worked.  Almost 8 years later it did.  We were in very sporadic/casual contact for the first 7 years after we broke up and saw each other in person one time for about 1.5 hours. 

There was never personal talk during that time other than personal about losses in our family (his grandmother, my cousin) -and even then it wasn't overly personal. We would not be married if we'd tried again so soon or if we kept in constant contact such that we knew personal details about each other's relationships. That would have created too much bad stuff/baggage as people put it IMO.  Consider your motives carefully.  

[Cherylyn]

There is never a right time.  Don't text and cease contact.  She's an ex.  It's time to move on.  Keep going forward; not backwards.

[MissCanuck]

I don't think you have any reason to contact her now. 

If anything, it will set you back and and delay your healing from the break-up. 

[smackie9]

The relationship is over, time to completely move on. I doubt she has any interest in hearing from you. I know I never wanted to hear from any of my exes, not even years later. 

[gamon]

Never.

Sooner you accept that you're not over her and you do in fact want her to give you another chance, the better off you'll be in the long run.