Guy ghosted me after an amazing date?

[darrkravven]

I matched with this guy on Tinder about 10 days ago and it was an instant connection. We had so much in common and would text long messages talking about anything and everything for about a week. He would send me a good morning message every day like clockwork too. Things also got pretty sexual over text messages and there was a lot of chemistry.

We met up in person on Friday night and we were both a little shy. But the date went really well. He was extremely nice to me. He even brought me a chocolate bar when we met up as a gift. We started off at a coffee shop and then at a bar. We again had great conversation and flirted with each other. At the end of the date he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I said no because I usually don’t do that on the first date and it was too late. He brought up meeting again and we both went over our schedules. He said we can plan it out on Monday (today). He even said to me to let him know when I got home. 

I texted him and thanked him for the date. He responded but I haven’t heard anything since. Last night I texted him to text me tomorrow if he was still interested in going out again. Complete silence. He still follows me on social media though. 

Should I text him again or just unfriend him? It's very confusing!

[gamon]

Any reason you won't CALL him?

 

[waffle]

I only had to read as far as "Tinder" to figure this one out.  He was hoping for effortless sex that you'd offer up right away and save him the trouble.

[Lambert]

He probably wanted sex. Was putting in the effort- making the connection etc- to get it but not really looking for a relationship.

If you want a relationship get off tinder and on to match our one of the other paid sites.  Not saying a relationship can't happen on tinder but I think it's know to be for hook ups. 

[boltnrun]

Sexting before you even met, trying to get you to go to his place on the first date...yeah, he expected sex.

Are you looking for casual sex hookups or a relationship? I don't mean "start slow" but your actual goal.

[lostandhurt]

You texted him and got crickets so one more is not going to change that.

From his actions I have to agree he wanted sex and when you didn't go for first meet sex he ghosted you. I am sure he is chatting up some other girl right now.

Be glad you didn't go back to his place because your thread title would have been:

Guy ghosted me after amazing first date and sex

Good on you for sticking to your principles.  Keep at it and learn as you go.  Not all guys are like this but you need to be smart.

Lost

[MissCanuck]

Don't text him again, no.

An interested man won't need that much prompting to set up another date. It sounds like he was looking for sex, OP. Never a good idea to sext before meeting someone, if you're looking for more than casual sex. It sends the wrong message. 

I'm sorry. I wouldn't wait around for him. 

[Kwothe28]

Not really confusing. As soon as he started sexting you should have known he is aftering one thing. When you didnt give him one thing, he probably focused on somebody who will. 

You did the right thing. Block him and dont think about it anymore.

[Batya33]

He didn't ghost you he simply doesn't want to ask you out on a real date after a first meet.  I agree with the others that once you backed out of hooking up at his home or yours he realized your choices to sext with him before meeting didn't mean you were up for having casual sex.  Once he realized that wasn't going to happen he chose not to pursue getting to know you any further. 

And many people change their minds after a first meet or first date and don't ask the person out or respond to invitations for a date -that silence means lack of interest.  Not ghosting.  He didn't make a time place plan with you for the next date and after the date he likely realized he wasn't up for waiting for sex.

An amazing first date is its own thing -meaning -enjoy it, enjoy the memories and assume it is in the last date unless and until there's a time/place plan for another date.  It's just reality.  If there's no plan for another date -time and place there is no next date.  Unless the person calls or you do and makes a plan. 

Several men asked me to call that I got home safely and didn't ask me out again.  I preferred silence.  I didn't need the ridiculous "you're soooooo amazing but I am not ready for a relationship right now" [with you]."

  I met over 100 men in person through online sites. I never ever met a man in person who brought up sexual stuff in messages or on the phone before we met.  I was looking for marriage and family.  A man who would choose to behave that way might be as well but also was looking for a woman who was ready to have casual sex.  I wasn't.  Dealbreaker so I moved on.  Several men brought up sexual stuff in messages or on the phone.

I would delete him from social media unless you have many strangers on your social media AND  you are ok seeing him pursue other women.

[smackie9]

It's possible he found a better option, or ex GF resurfaced, etc. Anything is possible. I wouldn't worry about the why, and focus on what hasn't happened...no second date! He has gone silent, and that's your cue to dump the chump. 

[Cherylyn]

No, don't contact him.  When you declined him for sex,  he suddenly lost interest in you so he'll go to the next easy woman.  You dodged a bullet.  Good riddance! 

[Kwothe28]

Just wanted to add: Just because one side had an amazing date, doesnt mean other side did. Experience varies and is highly subjective.

Also, at least here where I am, its fairly regular to use phrases like

"Let me know when you get home" or even

"We should do this again"

after the date. Its just a common courtesy most of the times, doesnt mean person who says it is actually interested in another date. As you can see from this case. He bought you chocolate and all. But that doesnt mean he wanted more then sex here.

[WalterSobcha]

18 hours ago, darrkravven said:

Last night I texted him to text me tomorrow if he was still interested in going out again. Complete silence. He still follows me on social media though. 

Sorry about that, but whatever his reasons are, he's not interested or he'd have replied... assuming he didn't get into an accident or anything that would prevent him from replying... but if you still see him having time to be active on social media and not having time to reply to you, then this is definitely over and you should move on.

[moodindigo91]

Unfollow him, remove him as a follower, don't text him. Find another guy. Maybe use something other than Tinder to meet men if you're interested in actually dating and not just hook ups. 

[SooSad33]

All is great until the meet 😉 .

Nah, don't waste your time on some guy, you seemed to get along with okay 10 days ago!

He didn't 'get' what he wanted, so you move on. And yah, remove him from your SM.