A normie bf

[Elizabeth727373]

Am i exaggerating?
I dont see to have a common ground with my bf. We ve been together for some weeks.
Im more of a nerd like i play yugioh, dnd , im really into anime, always updated on new stuff , basically really into anime culture  , im also into philosophy, and  truck . I also am a self hired artist, i do really love art with passion. My bf from the other hand...i feel like...he doesnt have  much interests...or idk... i communicated that to him , i said that in order to feel closer i need to at least be kinda intrested in what im intrested. I tried to see if it worked the other way round. He said he likes animals, walks , and a few movies...that aint that good...objectively. and that was it. ik i might be way too critical...but he doesnt have a passion, and he doesnt seem to be really fond of something ...not even football? Which id love , since my heart leaps with joy to the sound of anything that requires movement. I also cant share memes or use english slang bc he undrestands none of it. I once said "lmao" to him and asked for a full explanation...like bruh...also doesnt help with birthday gifts, since im used to buying presents based on someones interests. Like you are a make up enthusiast??? Heres a bunch of professional brushes. You like anime?? Heres an action figure . I really like when people cant stop talking about their favorite stuff ....and i cant share something that im really excited about with my bf bc he wont get it...hes kinda like a "normie" but not in an offensive way .

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Elizabeth727373 said:

 I also cant share memes or use english slang bc he undrestands none of it.....and i cant share something that im really excited about with my bf bc he wont get it...hes kinda like a "normie" but not in an offensive way .

What do you mean by "normie"? You seem completely incompatible. How old is he? Have you met in person?

Is he from a different culture/country? Do you two speak the same language? You could improve your English because it does come across as almost incomprehensible.

[Cherylyn]

Then don't be with him.

[boltnrun]

14 minutes ago, Elizabeth727373 said:

We ve been together for some weeks.

How much time do you spend together in person? What things do you two do when you go on dates?

[Elizabeth727373]

Oh sorry for the english im in the spectrum. Yeah, we've met , we are actually  neibhors, both speaking the same language. Im 21 hes 24. By saying normie im reffering to the more "mainstream" activities he is into (there is nothing wrong with that ) , it is  just the fact that my interests are a big part of my life and therefore extremely important to me.

[Elizabeth727373]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

How much time do you spend together in person? What things do you two do when you go on dates?

We do spend a good amount of time together, but besides the casual talk and the jokes there is nothing more

[boltnrun]

2 minutes ago, Elizabeth727373 said:

We do spend a good amount of time together, but besides the casual talk and the jokes there is nothing more

You don't go on dates? You don't do anything except talk and joke? Not even go grab a hamburger or a coffee or go to the movies together?

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, Elizabeth727373 said:

it is  just the fact that my interests are a big part of my life and therefore extremely important to me.

So you are just hanging out as neighbors? Find someone who is interested in what you are interested in. Stop using insider slang.

[Kwothe28]

Xexe, normie. Yeah, he does sound like one. 

I am guessing you are young but other person doesnt have to be the exact copy of us. We have to share core values but you both can have different interests. For example, many girlfriends were interested what we do in our D&D sessions. But none came back again. But again that is OK as you both should have at least some other activity that you enjoy. For example, maybe going out for walks. But you dont seem to have too much in common at all so maybe it is an incompatibility.

Also have you tried to maybe include him into some of your activity at all? Maybe he would enjoy some "normie" anime? Like "Classroom of The Elite". 😁

[HeartGoesOn]

Since you don't seem to be attracted to him in any way, what are your intentions.

Also, what is your question?

[Batya33]

You seem very into yourself and like you want a clone of yourself.  Go for it -go forth and find that clone.  He is not.  He doesn't meet your personal standards of what you're looking for in a date or boyfriend.  That's ok -let him go so that a person who is into him can be with him.  Focus on all of your interests and try to be in environments where others are engaged in a similar interest.  For example my friend's 14 year old loves dungeons and dragons so my friend often has his friends over who like it too.  And they play for hours.  

[jul-els]

Ok well, it sounds like you don’t like him. So, instead of wasting your time and his, you should move on. 

[Jaunty]

Frankly, it sounds like you are so into so many various things that the best match for you might be someone without that much going on of their own.  Otherwise you would not have any time for each other at all.  You'd both be way too busy.

But, you haven't said anything at all about things you like about him, so I'm pretty sure you're not compatible as romantic partners.  Hanging out with a friendly neighbor sometimes is a nice break from all the activities.  

[MissCanuck]

Why are you dating him? 

You want him to be someone he is not, and you don't seem that into him. This isn't a match. 

[smackie9]

Mom talk: You date those who share your passion if you want the passion to last for the long haul. After about 6 months, the infatuation wears off and you are totally bored with the guy. He's a dud, and you need to admit he's just not the one for you. 

[catfeeder]

Aside from showing him what interests you and asking whether he might want to learn some more about it to engage with one another about it or attend some events together, if that doesn't work out, consider listing some things that you DO like about him.

Then decide if that's enough for you.

There must be some reason you're calling him your BF, right?

[Tinydance]

I think it's OK to want someone who shares at least some of your interests. Your interests are actually very common and in particular amongst guys. Like half my male friends and my ex's are into D and D lol I don't think it should be that hard to find a different boyfriend who actually has things in common with you.

I think you're being kind of rude and judgemental though because basically you're saying your boyfriend and his interests are "not good" because they don't match yours. He's just a person who is who he is and likes what he likes. The interests you said he has are perfectly fine.

Unless you're hurting other people or your interests are weird or disturbing or something, there's no such thing as "good" or "bad" interests. Your interests are not better or more superior than his. They're just different.

It's actually your responsibility to find people that you think match you. It's not fair to date some really different from yourself, which you actually know. And then you blame that person because they're not like you and don't like what you like. That's not their fault they are who they are. They're just being themselves.