Jump to content

I found a pregnacy test under the bed where my wife sleeps with an expiry date of November 2024.


AllisNotLost
 Share

is hiv test at 6 months conclusive ?
is hiv test at 6 months conclusive ?

Recommended Posts

7 minutes ago, AllisNotLost said:

So I took the plunge and asked again about it.

Wouldn't a cheater hide garbage and/or make up a story like she was late/worried, whatever? Cheaters are expert liars.

It's odd the test itself is (usually used in a bathroom) is missing but the wrappers are under the bed?  So the 'no clue" response may be something else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP, how do you figure that a used pregnancy box from three years ago would suddenly end up under your bed today? Do you honestly think that she just hung on to the trash for years instead of tossing it out on garbage day?

Your thinking is extreme and paranoid and makes me wonder if the reason she isn't talking to you is because she is afraid of how you'll react and what extremes your mind will leap to.

You also mention that problems started in 2020 - that's when the pandemic began, lockdowns and uncertainty. Sooo....in the middle of all that going on, when would she have had time and space to go cheating on you? That's on top of your daughter only being a one year old back then? Have you considered that your wife didn't want to have sex with you because she was exhausted? Literally physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

As for her having irregular periods back then....yeah....women can become irregular when they are under a lot of stress.

All you talk about is how you are not getting sex. I wonder what's really going on in your marriage and how you are as a husband at large. Are you kind? Are you attentive? Are you supportive? Do you do chores without being asked? Do you take care of your very young child? Are you sensitive toward your partner's needs or are you perhaps more selfish and get distraught when you don't get what you feel entitled to, like sex, while being blind to what your wife actually needs from you? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a highly personal question, but if you're "very vocal" about not wanting more children why not get a vasectomy? Then you could ditch the condoms and neither of you would have to bother with pregnancy tests and/or unplanned pregnancies.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

First thing that comes to my mind is she either had a recent pregnancy scare or is currently pregnant, but communication is bad between you so she's lying about it. 

You mention you absolutely don't want another child but you guys rely on condoms as the only prevention.. that puts her in quite the pressured spot if she were pregnant or was worried about it!

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK I admit this is likely not it.  Is it possible she is helping a friend -a female friend -hide an affair from her partner and she let the friend use a test at her home? And she still wants to protect her friend?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, AllisNotLost said:

it must have been our daughter who got it out and put it there'.

Okay, so she's not denying the existence of tests in the house, she's just surprised to hear that the trash made it under the bed?

You've made it clear that you don't want more children, but you've only been using condoms for birth control.

In her shoes, I'd keep tests in the house, too, and I'd use them as soon as my period was late. I'd also keep Plan B pills on hand in the event of a mishap with your condoms.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Okay, so she's not denying the existence of tests in the house, she's just surprised to hear that the trash made it under the bed?

You've made it clear that you don't want more children, but you've only been using condoms for birth control.

In her shoes, I'd keep tests in the house, too, and I'd use them as soon as my period was late. I'd also have keep Plan B pills on hand in the event of a mishap with your condoms.

Good point.  And yes maybe the little girl took them out of the trash because they looked shiny or interesting.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Good point.  And yes maybe the little girl took them out of the trash because they looked shiny or interesting.  

Sure, or anything can fall off a bed or out of a trashcan and get kicked under there.

So I'd avoid splitting hairs about the 'how' and instead, I'd ask simple questions about the 'why'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the real problem is the response "why are you looking under the bed? "

That seems odd to me.  I think a more natural response is anything but an accusation, a laugh, a "where did you find that?" , "I have no idea". All seem more reasonable.

Why not bring it up in therapy? That you don't understand her response.  You feel anxious, like she put up a wall to your question, like why can't you guys talk about it, even if she thinks it's stupid.  That's what people do for their partner or anyone else they value.  You asked twice you obviously need some discussion about this. 

Considering you're already in counseling, I think it's time to get real about things- your needs (both of you) and what you expect from the marriage. What's the point of going if you're not going to resolve things?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, DancingFool said:

All you talk about is how you are not getting sex.

Yes. This. You even blamed her for "needing therapy" because you weren't getting any. Now your theory is she was cheating in 2020?

There's a lot missing to this story and you're doing a lot of tinhat injustice collecting. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guessing how or why the test was under the bed is fine but it doesn't get you where you want to be which is the truth.

First off we can all agree she is acting sketchy.  Blaming the tests on a four year old child?  Seriously???

Her avoidance and putting it back on you questioning why you were looking under the bed is a huge red flag and common for a cheater to do.

Keep silent and bring up the question in your counseling session.  Let the counselor dig deeper once you hand her the shovel with your question.  How you want to phrase the question for the biggest return is the only question.

  "Where did the pregnancy tests I found under our bed come from?"  Simple and to the point.

If you rarely have sex and use condoms there is little chance she got pregnant by you...

Lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You said you both have made steps to communicate and express feelings.  I think it’s a good opportunity to give it a try without a therapist. Change your approach this time around without your suspicious mind. Think about her and her feelings. Have some empathy. Just sit down, take her hand and gently ask if she’s been worried about getting pregnant and had a few scares. Take it from there. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...