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AllisNotLost

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  1. So I took the plunge and asked again about it. I enquired about it and asked if she had wracked her head around where it came from. All I got back was the same response with total lack of knowing why and where it came from. Not that she got it for any reason at all! I’m probably being paranoid but I’m still a bit confused 🫤
  2. I get you but we’ve hardly had sex, probably 4 times in 6 months. thing is I’ve been very vocal about not wanting another child and we are on the same boat with that. She has never ever used any other birth control. We’ve been together for 20 years and I would know that. I might be paranoid but that’s a valid feeling and emotion and not selfish. I get that I should probably step away from my own selfish thoughts though and think about other scenarios. in our last session she was and we were extremely open about our feelings. There’s no point in doing it if we don’t.
  3. I’m really scared of all scenarios. Either I am completely wrong and it’s something innocent or she did have an affair or sex with someone else. I’m just finding it hard to think of the best approach that won’t complete break everything down
  4. I have strict rules around infidelity and if it was true I would not work through it. counselling has been great and we are making solid ground on it. Her father recently passed away so we’ve focused a lot on that as therapy for her and us both going through the grief. I am lost myself and it isn’t good. The expiry date was the thing that really made me think about it hard. It must have been recently bought and if so why did she not talk to me about it? we have another session in a months time so I might bring it up before then?
  5. Your last point is where I am lost too. She would tell me. She never said why she’d taken them. I am in the dark about it.
  6. We only use condoms when we have sex and she does not use birth control. We are kind of but not that much, it’s always me initiating it though. the expiration date has really got me though. I cannot understand if it was recent why she would not talk to me about it and hide it from me. If it was a while back and we’d had sex and accidentally a condom broke or we forgot to use protection she would or we would discuss getting a test. I remember a while back her periods were oddly late but we’d not had sex at all throughout any of it so we both knew that it was not the case.
  7. Daughter is 4 years old. We are having marriage counselling at the moment. My gut is telling me this is not right and I have not felt like this since we had the very dry spell and my mind was going crazy about it all. I want the truth but I do not want to cause serious breakdown in communication and trauma for my daughter.
  8. Hi, So last week I was cleaning our bedroom and I noticed an empty package so went to take a look at it. As I got close to it I noticed it was a Pregnancy test kit with 2 empty foil packets in it. The expiry date was in 2024 and kits have a 2/3 year expiry. At first my heart sank because I thought the worst but I calmly left it and later approached her really casually and just said 'Oh when I was cleaning the room I say an empty pregnancy test box under the bed, not sure why it is there'. Her first reaction was shock and surprise followed with 'Why are you looking under the bed, oh it must have been our daughter who got it out and put it there'. I left that and never came back to it, I have since not seen the kit anywhere and it has completely disappeared from the house with no trace. The reason I am asking here is that we had a very bad spell a few years back where our sex lives were non existent, she was never interested in me and she would reject intimacy and we made it over a year without having sex which drove me insane and I had to have CBT to deal with the rejection around that and the anxiety surrounding it all. The expiry date on the test kit if I am right would have put the date back from purchase around 3 years which would have been 2020 where things were very hard and our intimacy was really bad. I am really struggling to see what to do here? I am not sure if she has cheated on me? If it was something she did being a woman? If it was a kit from when we were trying for a child in 2017 which is highly unlikely. Either way I have an odd feeling about this and usually my gut is right in these circumstances. Can anyone help me in looking into breaking this down? Thanks, Mark
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