bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 I broke up with my ex this Sunday. I asked immediately after breaking up for my things in his car back. I said you can put them in my mail box but i really need my house key back. He said “I’m sorry and I’ll drop them off” two days later he texted me and said “can i come see you can we have sex?” And i said “where is my stuff you said you were bringing? And he didn’t respond TL:DR; Why isn’t he bringing my stuff to me. Break up consisted off no arguing or anything bad. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 52 minutes ago, bladeSoD9 said: He said “I’m sorry and I’ll drop them off” two days later he texted me and said “can i come see you can we have sex?” Change the locks. Is this on/off? Sounds volatile, no? Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 33 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Change the locks. Is this on/off? Sounds volatile, no? Is what on or off? Link to comment
Andrina Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Take a friend and go to his place, and then you all can go to his car and get your stuff back since you're civil. Don't worry about the key. You should change the locks because he could have made a copy. If you can't get your stuff back and it's worth taking him to small claims court for, tell him that will happen if he doesn't give it back. Or, see it as the price you pay for breakups, just like people lose money in a divorce. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 I agree with the others - best to change the locks. It is super easy and fast and may not even require changing the whole lock just the key mechanism. Mentally write-off your stuff. Assume you will never see it again and bonus if you do. Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 57 minutes ago, sadchick83 said: I agree with the others - best to change the locks. It is super easy and fast and may not even require changing the whole lock just the key mechanism. Mentally write-off your stuff. Assume you will never see it again and bonus if you do. My landlord isn’t working with me Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Your landlord does not need to be involved. I changed my locks when I had to kick someone out of my rental condo. All I was required to do was provide the owners with a copy of the keys. I bought the lock and my friend's husband came over to install it. It took him literally less than 10 minutes. Easy. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 He's holding your stuff in hopes you will see him and then he can have sex with you! You need to change the lock, give the landlord a copy of the new key, and write your stuff off. Then you can block and delete him. Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 40 minutes ago, melancholy123 said: He's holding your stuff in hopes you will see him and then he can have sex with you! You need to change the lock, give the landlord a copy of the new key, and write your stuff off. Then you can block and delete him. Ok but i told him he could drop it off in my mailbox or on my door step he still hasn’t brought it Link to comment
Lambert Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 this is a power move. he's doing it so you'll keep begging him. He knows when he gives your stuff back, he has no leverage. Flip the script. Change locks and get new stuff. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 40 minutes ago, bladeSoD9 said: Ok but i told him he could drop it off in my mailbox or on my door step he still hasn’t brought it It's your stuff, therefore your responsibly to go collect it. He does Not have to deliver it for your convenience. If you want to make a stand off out of it keep demanding he deliver it to your door. However if it's over, just get a friend and arrange a mutually convenient time to get it. Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 32 minutes ago, Lambert said: this is a power move. he's doing it so you'll keep begging him. He knows when he gives your stuff back, he has no leverage. Flip the script. Change locks and get new stuff. Wow why did he lie and say he would drop it off. I’m confused… i don’t see what the issue is .. the breakup wasn’t bad Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Why won't you set up a time to go get your things? If you don't have a car can a friend help you? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 11 minutes ago, bladeSoD9 said: Wow why did he lie and say he would drop it off. I’m confused… i don’t see what the issue is .. the breakup wasn’t bad From your perspective -maybe upon reflection it was for him so he is acting out and acting like a jerk. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 3 hours ago, Andrina said: Take a friend and go to his place, and then you all can go to his car and get your stuff back since you're civil. Don't worry about the key. You should change the locks because he could have made a copy. Agree. Change the locks. The onus is on you to arrange a time to get your things. If you don't bother getting them (he does not have to deliver them to you, hence his sarcasm about a hookup) he can toss, keep or sell them after a time. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Do not give in to that kind of response. As mentioned, you can maybe just go there with a friend & get your stuff. Let him know your idea, so you know if he's around.. He can't hold your stuff. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Unless your belongings are of sentimental value, rather than stress yourself out, why not write it off and maintain your sanity. Since he seems to enjoy watching you squirm, let him find another toy to amuse himself with. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 I agree cut your losses and give up on those things...buy new. Block/delete go no contact. Link to comment
gamon Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 He isn't returning your things because that's the only connection he has to you and he still wants to be with you. It's somewhat surprising that you haven't figured this out. Either change the locks and give up your stuff if it's not that important or send a friend to go get it End.. of.. story Link to comment
Lambert Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 3 hours ago, bladeSoD9 said: Wow why did he lie and say he would drop it off. I’m confused… i don’t see what the issue is .. the breakup wasn’t bad Who knows! Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 4 hours ago, gamon said: He isn't returning your things because that's the only connection he has to you and he still wants to be with you. It's somewhat surprising that you haven't figured this out. Either change the locks and give up your stuff if it's not that important or send a friend to go get it End.. of.. story I guess because he initially said he would i thought we were on good terms Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 5 hours ago, Batya33 said: From your perspective -maybe upon reflection it was for him so he is acting out and acting like a jerk. I'm sorry you're in this situation. It’s ok just a lesson learned not to give keys to my house out again Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 I don't understand why you don't fetch your own stuff from him? You want them, go get them. If it's things of value go fetch it. If it's just mundane stuff, cut your losses. Change you locks. Link to comment
bladeSoD9 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 4 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said: I don't understand why you don't fetch your own stuff from him? You want them, go get them. If it's things of value go fetch it. If it's just mundane stuff, cut your losses. Change you locks. I’ve been to his house twice he was t there Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Just now, bladeSoD9 said: I’ve been to his house twice he was t there He was there? Or not there? 😕 Make an arrangement with him to fetch your things when he's home. It can't be that hard. He has to be home at some time in the day/night, surely. Link to comment
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