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Because of corona virus, I am stuck at home with my sister who I feel is toxic. I recently got into a physical fight with her and she told my parents that I was going to switch my major, something I was scared to tell them because I know they are having financial troubles and don’t want them to worry. I have cut her out of my life in the past for a long period of time but I don’t know how I will manage in a house with her. I also am feeling stressed out about my parents because I know how much they are disappointed about me changing my major. I don’t know how to manage my stress and was wondering for anybody’s advice.

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I know all of this can be extremely stressful. As far as it getting to a physical level with your sister that can be extremely stressful for your parents, especially if they are experiencing financial troubles. This rivalry with your sister, I'm willing to wager, has been going on for ... maybe ever since you can remember. It's your business and choice if you want to cut her out of your life; However, for your sake and your parents, I would find something to redirect your frustration on. Running/jogging, a walk, a hike. If you don't mind me asking, why do you want to change your major? When I was in school, I seriously thought about changing my major but am so glad that I didn't.

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Thanks for your reply, I will definitely try redirecting. As for my major, I never really wanted to do it, but didn’t have any other ideas on a career that was practical and financially secure. I did have a certain career in mind but it is not particularly stable. As I started my freshman year, I went into it not feeling great about my major and now that I’m almost done I am pretty sure I don’t want to do it, although I haven’t officially changing it. If I do change it, it will be something relatively stable.

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When I completed my degree I had aspirations of using it to its' fullest, and there for a while, I did. After a few years, some opportunities opened up that I never saw coming and now I'm in a field somewhat close to what I was studying. The biggest lesson, I've learned that came with that degree, was time management. I wish you the best in whatever direction you decide to go with your endeavors.

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There''s not a lot you can do stuck in the house with an annoying sibling. You can go for a walk or jog to get away from her, you can leave the room when she enters, you can spend more time in your own room tho that can get tiring.

 

What was and what will be your major? Now that it's out in the open perhaps you can discuss it with your parents.

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Your only goal should be to maintain peace. You don't have to be close nor chummy. Just remain civil, well mannered, polite and respectful always. Never stoop low to another person's level no matter how much you are tempted.

 

There are a lot of people whom I don't like either. In fact, I despise them to the core. However, in your soul, enforce healthy boundaries. Remember, peace is your primary and only goal everyday. You don't have to be lovey dovey just because you're related. Keep the peace and it's good enough.

 

Keep your interactions brief and polite. You will survive. Be in control in a good way. This is how you manage stress.

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Your parents are supporting both of you and paying for your education and you decide to get in fights? Take this time to reflect on your future and emotional maturity.

 

Get a job in an essential business. Make some money and get out of the house. Deliver food, work at a food store, pump gas, whatever. Find which businesses are open in your area and apply now. Why stay home, fight with your sister and spend your parents money? People out there are working, so should you.

I recently got into a physical fight with her and she told my parents that I was going to switch my major, something I was scared to tell them because I know they are having financial troubles I don’t know how to manage my stress and was wondering for anybody’s advice.
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Being trapped with someone you don't get along with is a basic life skill. Trust me. Its worth it to learn to control your emotions and reactions.

 

Especially for the sake of all in the house. Have more respect for your parents. You know how disappointing, annoying and stressful it must be to have adult children physically fight? So spoiled.

 

Everyone should be doing there best to deal with this situation. That includes no unnecessary trips to the hospital. Being a help, not a hindrance.

 

Be the mature one. Don't bait her. When she baits you, just say listen, can you just leave me alone.

 

Grow up. You're lucky to have your parents and the opportunity to go to college. If changing your major is what you really need to do to be in your field, then be smart about how you do it.

 

Can you go to a cheaper school? If you're close to graduating, could you get the degree, start working and then go back for a further degree. A lot of big companies offer tuition reimbursement even for part time employees.

 

My point being the loss of credit for almost completing, just to start again, may be the bigger loss.

 

Try to find a way to build off what you already have. The other thing is, many people work in fields that do not relate back to their degree... So unless the degree is needed, I'd really think twice.

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Now that you've figured out that you can't trust sis with your private stuff, stop confiding in her. Then there's nothing to fight about.

 

What major do you intend to leave, how far into it are you, and how many more credits will it require to make the switch?

 

A bachelor's degree is not exactly career training. It's a generalized liberal arts program with a chosen concentration that most people switch out of once they pursue their careers anyway. Exceptions would be law or medicine, but those require more study beyond the bachelor's level.

 

So what do you intend to pursue instead?

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Need context for how much of a switch it is. Are you going from Pre-med to medieval basketweaving?

 

No matter what it is, own it.

 

If you don't want your sister to let the rents know of your decisions, then don't confide in her.

 

And seriously? No physical altercations with anyone over anything like this.

 

And, I agree with others, get a job in an essential industry even if you are still in college.

 

I worked a full-time job while in school. Did it stretch out the time in school? Yup. Did it make me miss a lot of the fun stuff in college? You bet.

 

So what, i got the degree. Nobody was paying my way, no parents to meddle in what major to earn a degree in.

 

Now is the time for you to focus on your future and not indulge in rages against your sister.

 

Please, I think my grandma would tell you to grow up.

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You can't change your sister and who she is, but you can change how you respond to her. There is no rule that you have to be pals. Meaning that you can be simply civil and more arm's length. Polite rather than close. If that will serve to establish some balance and sanity, do it. If she is trying to get under your skin and provoke you, think grey rock. You simply do not react and give her the satisfaction of getting provoked into something. Easier said than done, but with some practice, you can become very very good at it and it's a skill that will serve you well in life at large, especially when it comes to work - crazy bosses, co-workers, clients.

 

As for your major - your life, your choice. You have to do what you think is best for you. Nobody else's opinion matters here as you are the only one who'll live with the consequences of your decisions. If you need to switch, just do it and don't drag your feet because the longer you wait the more it costs. Speaking of costs, now is a good time to figure out a financial plan for yourself - look up any grants you might qualify for, scholarships, or even loans if you must. There are also part time jobs as well. Not going to tell you to jump into something that might put you at risk of catching a virus and dying, but understand that the virus situation is temporary and what you have now is time on your hands to start putting together a financial plan for your education that doesn't burden your parents.

 

Also, give some credit to your parents for being rational people. If what you want to switch to is much more financially stable and practical, they'll likely be supportive of you, especially if you also take some financial burden of the switch onto your own shoulders and present them with a clear plan. Treat them as the adults they are rather than hiding like a kid who is doing something wrong. You aren't doing anything wrong and you have to learn to develop a more adult relationship with your parents where you discuss these kinds of things like adults - pros, cons, costs, mitigation, etc.

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