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gsxr104

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gsxr104 last won the day on October 18 2009

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About gsxr104

  • Birthday July 28

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  1. I can certainly understand the frustration this is causing you both. This is just my opinion, but I would tell him just as you explained it to us. If he cares about you he should understand and give you the space to take a breather and gather yourself. If he doesn't and is not willing to do that then you may want to rethink your future with him. If he can't work through the small things with you, then the bigger ones will be even more overwhelming for you. I know it's easier said than done, but that's pretty much it in a nutshell.
  2. "sometimes leaves me voicemails calling me names or saying hell kill me and whoever ... " That is a terroristic threat! You have a child that is not his and you say you're okay with his being controlling and it doesn't bother you? It is a gross and wreck-less endangerment to your child if you stay with this person another second! You need to find a place to stay and not just leave but leave skid marks behind you as you exit. Don't let yourself or your child become another statistic. You need to get your child and not just leave but leave skid marks out of the parking lot !
  3. This may sound like I'm crazy but you dodged a bullet here.
  4. Before I say anything, this is just my opinion and nothing but that. How long had you known your wife before you two got married? Do you know if she'd ever been unfaithful before? I ask because I see three basic categories of people. Ones that just do what they want and don't particularly care if they're caught. Ones that would never do anything wrong (and yes, there are varying boundaries in the definition on this, but in this example, let's just keep it to its' simplest term), and then those who won't unless they think no one is watching or they think they can get away with it. Could be that it was just a coincidence that they just happened to be at the same place, at the same time and you don't have anything to worry about. It could be that she got off track of her typical character and had a momentary lapse of judgement and it will never happen again. One thing is for certain, it's really up to her as far as what is going to happen next. You can't make her love you and be faithful to you. Even though she took vows, it's her choice as to whether she's going to stick to them. In what I have observed, people tend to mimic the ones that they are attracted to. Have you noticed any new commentary or behavior in her? I'm sure you two have already shredded this to pieces so I wouldn't ride her tail about it, it will only stress her out and cause friction. I would sit back and take a close observation as to how she handles this. If she decides she wants to remain committed to you, then I think you're good, if she decides she wants to see where her relationship goes, then let her go and move on. It's tough dealing with issues like this but you can't make her be loyal, that is something that comes from our soul. " A woman doesn't need you. She wants you! "
  5. This is just my opinion. For now, you don;t have to "break up" , you could just take things as they come. You be yourself and take a look at who "He" really is. We all go through that honeymoon phase. We are all on our best behavior during the initial part of the relationship, sometimes people put on a facade others it's their genuine character. This would be a good time for you to take a closer look at his character and see if that coating wears off. You'll find true colors in times of difficulties.
  6. Let's talk about this. First of all, there's always tomorrow as long as you will it. Secondly, why would you want to put your family through so much pain?
  7. In my honest opinion he has absolutely no jurisdiction in making your decisions. Work wise, life wise or other wise. I don't know your entire situation but it seems to me that he's in a bit of a rut and will be pulling you down with him. You know what you're doing, nothing to fight about. If he's not willing to make adjustments to get his life in order you should maybe consider reevaluating his endearing concern for you.
  8. When I completed my degree I had aspirations of using it to its' fullest, and there for a while, I did. After a few years, some opportunities opened up that I never saw coming and now I'm in a field somewhat close to what I was studying. The biggest lesson, I've learned that came with that degree, was time management. I wish you the best in whatever direction you decide to go with your endeavors.
  9. I know all of this can be extremely stressful. As far as it getting to a physical level with your sister that can be extremely stressful for your parents, especially if they are experiencing financial troubles. This rivalry with your sister, I'm willing to wager, has been going on for ... maybe ever since you can remember. It's your business and choice if you want to cut her out of your life; However, for your sake and your parents, I would find something to redirect your frustration on. Running/jogging, a walk, a hike. If you don't mind me asking, why do you want to change your major? When I was in school, I seriously thought about changing my major but am so glad that I didn't.
  10. Not sure, but I can assure you that whatever you spend on counsel will be way more than you want to spend.
  11. I can understand the boys sentiments. I've been there and know that feeling well. Children thrive on the feeling of security and having a home. They can sense more things than most give them credit for. My thoughts are this ... As you know, this isn't going to be an easy haul for you with all of the legal matters that are in process. If you have established a relationship with these children, it very well could be a major part of their "Safe Zone". I'm not sure how old they are but if they're too young to define it in their minds, they will definitely express it when they get older. You've made no secret as how you feel about your S/O (and I probably don't need to say this) but you also need to consider if you have the will and desire to raise them as your own in that "friend" image they have of you right now, as you go through this legal battle. You don't need to answer out loud but when you look at them do you get a feeling of happiness, neutral sense or dread, inside? That I think will give you the answer you're looking for. As far as coping with one decision or the other, I'm afraid it's not as easy as 1,2,3. You'll just have to take day by day, but I wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on it either way and giving you more unnecessary physical complications. Try to focus on the positive things especially when you're going to sleep. Your subconscious mind will be programmed with whatever you load into it as you drift off. When you wake in the morning your conscious mind will migrate towards that program. You put negative stuff in, you get negative stuff out.
  12. How well do the children get along with you?
  13. It's an adjustment on everyone's part. Sometimes a bit more difficult than others. Be the bigger one and let it go. Choose your battles. Remember there is no conflict unless there is an opposition.
  14. Hi, I'm sorry you've endured this behavior. If he needs his drink that bad he very well could be an alcoholic, and as we all know that is not something he can deal with on his own. Him drinking himself into a drunken state and being around his children shows his sense of judgement is severely out of whack, not to mention grossly inconsiderate towards you. As far as him having the audacity to make a reference from the bible unless adultry has been committed, he should consider getting some professional help for his disorder. God only helps those who help themselves. I'm not a bible expert but, I do believe he may be bordering on one of the seven deadly sins. If you let someone like this around your children, you may be as guilty as he would be posing a danger to them.
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