Emotional support group Covid19

[Fudgie]

Whelp guys, another day in COVID land, another lonely day for me. I got my schoolwork done (more tomorrow), I don't work tomorrow, and I'm starting into some dry wine. Did you know that prior to the pandemic, I never finished a bottle in a whole night? It's not something I do often, but every couple weeks or so, I find myself nursing a bottle, usually reading, coloring (until I lose my fine motor skills, then it's time for bed) or playing video games. By the time I go to bed around midnight, the bottle is empty.

 

I don't talk about it much but I feel so trapped. I can't go to the places I want to go to. I can't meet my friends/strangers for games like I used to. I can't even go walking much anymore, it's TOO hot during the day (too many damn people too) and it's dangerous at night. Did you know that almost 100 people have been shot in my area since beginning of June?

 

I feel obligated to keep myself very strict because of the population I work with. They are very compromised, breathing machines, all that. Long term people too, my workplace is their home. I see friends going out/having fun. Hell, one couple I know is taking a VACATION soon. By PLANE. Can you imagine? I can't. Add into that that I hate video chat. I am stuck.

[boltnrun]

My work is trying to send us on airplanes to other states to work. The location opening has been delayed multiple times (no surprise and no one's fault, it's the current situation) and they have about 18 of us who need somewhere to train and work. So this is their brilliant solution. Put us all at risk of contracting Covid. That's a big fat "no" for me. So, I'll be job hunting.

[Fudgie]

See, I'm all for driving in your own, private car, blah blah. Use gloves if you want to at a gas station, pack your own snacks, whatever. But flying? HELL NO. What makes flying so dangerous is that you'll be breathing in that recycled air for God knows how long. That is NOT okay.

 

I'm so sorry that your company is making you do that. Seriously that makes me angry!

[boltnrun]

I'm not going to do it. If they tell us that's what's required they will have my resignation that day.

 

The plan seems to be for us to fly to another state, get rental cars or use ride sharing services and live in a hotel for a few weeks. I'm not OK with that, not one bit.

 

Fortunately I have been able to save some money so I can afford to live off my savings for a few months. I'm moving in with family to save even more. Trust me, I am grateful for that.

[ButterflyWrists]

I'm getting anxious about my return to work, maternity leave isn't up until early next year. But I work in health care. Personal care, oral care etc are all part of my job. I know the people I work with won't have been anywhere to contact the virus, but I know it may limit what activities I cab do outside of work, as at least one of my clients will die if they contract it. This virus isn't going to go away by the time I'm due back. I already feel isolated enough without having to go fully back into quarentinin for work, especially as I'm part time. But obviously I don't want to be responsible for the virus making its way into the home.

[Batya33]

I'm getting anxious about my return to work, maternity leave isn't up until early next year. But I work in health care. Personal care, oral care etc are all part of my job. I know the people I work with won't have been anywhere to contact the virus, but I know it may limit what activities I cab do outside of work, as at least one of my clients will die if they contract it. This virus isn't going to go away by the time I'm due back. I already feel isolated enough without having to go fully back into quarentinin for work, especially as I'm part time. But obviously I don't want to be responsible for the virus making its way into the home.

 

Yes it's so hard to know when and how to do anything normal!! What I do is try to "prioritize my panic" - so for example next year is a long way away. You might decide not to return to work at all because of some financial situation that improves, for example -one of many - so can you try to refocus on what's going on right now or at most in the next hour or possibly day? When I "prioritized my panic" I get control over it by literally listing in my head what needs to be attended to first, second ,etc. and it shows me how wasteful it is to panic about the future/things I have so little control over.

[Fudgie]

Early next year? We may have a vaccine or an effective treatment then. Remember how quickly this virus has spread and how the landscape has infection has changed since March. How things are right now in terms of what we know and the infection spike is not what is going to look like next year. I can't tell you how it will be next year but all I know is that given the course of this illness, it won't be like this.

[Seraphim]

I hope we have an effective vaccine early in the new year .

[Fudgie]

Me too. Hoping so. Funny how in March we went from "Man I hope this blows over by summer" to "I'm hunkering down until a vaccine comes next year".

[boltnrun]

I too could not imagine this lasting as long as it did. I truly believed we had many of the best medical minds in the world here and they would quickly come up with a temporary game plan to protect the population while working on a longer-term solution. I never in a million years imagined politics would be prioritized over the health of the people of this country, but here we are.

 

I just figure it's on me to do what I think will protect myself best. And avoid as much as possible those who are NOT interested in the greater good. This has meant avoiding members of my own family as well as a handful of people I considered close friends, but that's just the way it is.

 

I've been fortunate to have options as far as living arrangements.

[Fudgie]

I'm thankful that my family is small and we don't have any pea-brained solipsistic idiots in my family. Everyone is on board with safety and basic precautions, thank God.

[boltnrun]

I'm thankful that my family is small and we don't have any pea-brained solipsistic idiots in my family. Everyone is on board with safety and basic precautions, thank God.

 

I just noticed your signature line is from Bojack Horseman. I watched that show for the first time earlier this week with my son. That show is...something else!

[Fudgie]

I just noticed your signature line is from Bojack Horseman. I watched that show for the first time earlier this week with my son. That show is...something else!

 

Do you like it?

I've seen the whole series. I'll probably rewatch it once some time has passed. I really enjoy its look at mental health struggles and how people get themselves stuck in "ruts" and bad patterns in their lives. Bojack is a fascinating character. There are so many little references to different things through the show too. It's funny and sad at the same time.

 

That said, a number of people don't like that show and I admit, it's not for everyone and that's okay.

[Seraphim]

Whoever thought we would still be dealing with this six months later? What has life normalized into? Sigh. Rough day.

[Fudgie]

It's been about 4.5 months for me. Life went to s__t in early/mid March. Isolated and lonely a lot of the times. My life lacks a lot of happiness.

 

All I have to hold on to is hope. Changing my signature to reflect a quote from one of my favorite movies.

[Wiseman2]

Spanish flu, also known as the 1918 flu pandemic, was an unusually deadly influenza pandemic caused by the H1N1 influenza A virus. Lasting from February 1918 to April 1920, it infected 500 million people–about a third of the world's population at the time–in four successive waves.

Whoever thought we would still be dealing with this six months later?

[Batya33]

I'm sorry Seraphim! There was some talk on Facebook about how it's ok to shame people who aren't wearing masks. Not a fan of that. But I found myself -chose to say I guess- loudly "can you please put my take out on a different table because she's not wearing a mask? The customer actually might have been applying for a job which is even more ridiculous. And I can't get too close to the employee to whisper it I guess. But yes part of me was upset with this person whose indoors, not wearing a mask when the sign says "please wear a mask before entering"

[boltnrun]

I'm sorry Seraphim! There was some talk on Facebook about how it's ok to shame people who aren't wearing masks. Not a fan of that. But I found myself -chose to say I guess- loudly "can you please put my take out on a different table because she's not wearing a mask? The customer actually might have been applying for a job which is even more ridiculous. And I can't get too close to the employee to whisper it I guess. But yes part of me was upset with this person whose indoors, not wearing a mask when the sign says "please wear a mask before entering"

 

The businesses are supposed to be enforcing the mask requirements. It seems like many businesses are not, however, because they're afraid of losing customers. I say, well, dead people cannot patronize your business, and dead employees are not particularly productive. And the fines (some places, the fines are a lot of money) would be detrimental to your business too. It's an unfortunate result of politicizing masks, which to me makes absolutely no sense because who would want the opportunity to possibly infect others with a deadly virus? But I guess those who refuse to wear masks don't believe the virus is real anyway.

 

I would like us all to care for one another. We obey traffic laws not just to avoid traffic fines but to avoid possibly harming others. I feel like mask wearing should be the same.

 

I really wanted to go to this one particular grocery store but they are not requiring customers to wear masks despite it being a mandate in my state. So, I can't go. Too bad.

[Batya33]

The businesses are supposed to be enforcing the mask requirements. It seems like many businesses are not, however, because they're afraid of losing customers. I say, well, dead people cannot patronize your business, and dead employees are not particularly productive. And the fines (some places, the fines are a lot of money) would be detrimental to your business too. It's an unfortunate result of politicizing masks, which to me makes absolutely no sense because who would want the opportunity to possibly infect others with a deadly virus? But I guess those who refuse to wear masks don't believe the virus is real anyway.

 

I would like us all to care for one another. We obey traffic laws not just to avoid traffic fines but to avoid possibly harming others. I feel like mask wearing should be the same.

 

I really wanted to go to this one particular grocery store but they are not requiring customers to wear masks despite it being a mandate in my state. So, I can't go. Too bad.

 

Yes -here they were not mandated. Where they are I still see all of those dangling masks. What's the point? I don't think a minimum wage cashier should be tasked with enforcing it. But the manager should.

[bluecastle]

Whoever thought we would still be dealing with this six months later? What has life normalized into? Sigh. Rough day.

 

Sorry about the turbulent day, Sera.

 

I remember back when this was getting serious, what health officials were saying: that this is complex, and that vaccines generally take around 1-2 years to develop. Since then, my way of approaching it has been to accept that some of my understandable human hopes—that a few weeks of "lock down" would be enough to "beat this" and restore life as I knew it, e.g. the Instagram or Netflix version of a pandemic—are more of a coping mechanism than anything else. Fantasies, to make reality more palpable, for a moment.

 

Guess I've been in the mindset for a while now that this was going to be a long haul, and that we weren't going to go "back to normal" so much as forward into a new normal: slowly, clumsily, scarily, but, eventually, with something like light and grace and some sturdier footholds to lean into. So many emotions about it all. I'm on edge often, along with billions, but I also find myself wondering if what is on the other side of this can be healthier, collectively, than what we had before. Seems this virus has exposed a lot of what could be called preexisting conditions—bad wiring in the collective systems we build—and hopefully we'll find a way to take them seriously for our health.

 

Putting it in ENA-friendly terms? This is like a breakup—an ugly one, out of nowhere, shedding light on so much ugliness that was always there, if simmering at a manageable level—when the first few months are spent in a frenzied state of either denying it all or trying to "move on" at light speed and seeking constant rewards or proof that you're "over it." Then comes the period where you just have to sit in the discomfort and uncertainty, accepting that it's going to pass...when it passes. Do what you can to stay sane and healthy, of course, while trying to let go of the idea what was can be willed back into what is.

[boltnrun]

Yes -here they were not mandated. Where they are I still see all of those dangling masks. What's the point? I don't think a minimum wage cashier should be tasked with enforcing it. But the manager should.

 

I used to work in construction. One of the rules on the jobsite was everyone had to wear safety glasses. One worker was sent home because he "wore" his glasses on the bill of his hardhat. He said he should not be sent home because nowhere did it say he had to wear them over his eyes. He claimed to be in compliance because he was, in fact, "wearing" them.

 

So, technically those people are "wearing" masks. They just aren't wearing them properly.

[boltnrun]

Blue, I wish your vision is how it's going to play out. But when I look out my window or occasionally venture out, I don't see too many people complying with a "new normal". I see a lot of people who think the pandemic is for other people, not for them. My state is the worst in the country numbers-wise (if not "cases per 100 thousand"-wise) and people just do not believe it. They think since no one they know personally has it that means no one has it.

 

At some point is the government going to have to force us to be good? We saw how that worked out last time...

 

I really want to have hope but it's hard when I see the reality outside my door.

[Seraphim]

It's been about 4.5 months for me. Life went to s__t in early/mid March. Isolated and lonely a lot of the times. My life lacks a lot of happiness.

 

All I have to hold on to is hope. Changing my signature to reflect a quote from one of my favorite movies.

 

True we did go into lockdown mid-March but I think the first cases appeared in Canada around January.

[Seraphim]

Spanish flu, also known as the 1918 flu pandemic, was an unusually deadly influenza pandemic caused by the H1N1 influenza A virus. Lasting from February 1918 to April 1920, it infected 500 million people–about a third of the world's population at the time–in four successive waves.

No kidding I’ve stated that many times.

[Seraphim]

Sorry about the turbulent day, Sera.

 

I remember back when this was getting serious, what health officials were saying: that this is complex, and that vaccines generally take around 1-2 years to develop. Since then, my way of approaching it has been to accept that some of my understandable human hopes—that a few weeks of "lock down" would be enough to "beat this" and restore life as I knew it, e.g. the Instagram or Netflix version of a pandemic—are more of a coping mechanism than anything else. Fantasies, to make reality more palpable, for a moment.

 

Guess I've been in the mindset for a while now that this was going to be a long haul, and that we weren't going to go "back to normal" so much as forward into a new normal: slowly, clumsily, scarily, but, eventually, with something like light and grace and some sturdier footholds to lean into. So many emotions about it all. I'm on edge often, along with billions, but I also find myself wondering if what is on the other side of this can be healthier, collectively, than what we had before. Seems this virus has exposed a lot of what could be called preexisting conditions—bad wiring in the collective systems we build—and hopefully we'll find a way to take them seriously for our health.

 

Putting it in ENA-friendly terms? This is like a breakup—an ugly one, out of nowhere, shedding light on so much ugliness that was always there, if simmering at a manageable level—when the first few months are spent in a frenzied state of either denying it all or trying to "move on" at light speed and seeking constant rewards or proof that you're "over it." Then comes the period where you just have to sit in the discomfort and uncertainty, accepting that it's going to pass...when it passes. Do what you can to stay sane and healthy, of course, while trying to let go of the idea what was can be willed back into what is.

 

For sure even though we’ve seen deadly pandemics throughout history I guess we never thought it would happen to us in our lifetime it was never a part of our consciousness. Ya know?

 

Rough day at the store with my son muttering under his breath continuously.