Cherylyn Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Why don't you express your concerns to her? Be honest and tell her how you feel. If you don't agree with her lifestyle nor comfortable about it, then obviously she is not for you. End the relationship because it wasn't meant to be. Link to comment
Clio Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 It sounds like you two are incompatible regarding your views on sex. Imo, this is a gap you can't bridge. You have no right to judge her (you yourself hopped in her bed on the first date) but it is well within your rights to move on. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 I'm most disturbed by her not removing the trash. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Well, at least you know what kind of person she is. And, sleeping on her bed where god knows how many men she's had on there.... Hope you showered really well afterwards! Yeah. I wonder when the sheets were last washed. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 There is no need to discuss anything. They've had one date, that's not a relationship. Just don't see her again. God knows what STDs she has. :O gross. Why don't you express your concerns to her? Be honest and tell her how you feel. If you don't agree with her lifestyle nor comfortable about it, then obviously she is not for you. End the relationship because it wasn't meant to be. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Does she have roommates? Did she recently break up with someone? Things got spontaneous and she wasn't expecting to take you home, either. If there wasn't this rush back to her place, you both weren't as drunk and she cleaned up before, you would be none the wiser. When you go in for the one night stand this is how it goes. Now your torn between trying to unsee this and hoping your condom is next. There could be numerous reasons........... Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Speaking only for myself, I don't view dating as a challenge to 'not judge' or not be grossed out by anything that grosses me out. It was one date. That's the last date I'd have with anyone who makes me feel lousy--and I wouldn't feel a need to analyze it or explain myself to anyone--including the date. For me, boom! Done. Next. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 I agree Catfeeder. I have standards, I don't apologize for them. If my first date doesn't add up to my expectations or standards, then there's no second date. There are 7 billion people in this world, why try to force something or try to excuse and look the other way when you know you aren't cool with it? Move on. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 There are 7 billion people in this world, why try to force something or try to excuse and look the other way when you know you aren't cool with it? Move on. Yep. Once I grasped that most people are NOT our match, I stopped trying to excuse anything that didn't align with my private agenda. I started screening out bad matches, and without apology. I trust my own judgment, and that simplifies EVERYthing about dating for me. No rejection-splaining necessary. Link to comment
waffle Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 There is no need to discuss anything. They've had one date, that's not a relationship. Just don't see her again. God knows what STDs she has. :O gross. Based on the information given, which was finding what is assumed to be a condom in the trash by someone half asleep, what STDs do you think she has? Link to comment
bluecastle Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 Based on the information given, which was finding what is assumed to be a condom in the trash by someone half asleep, what STDs do you think she has? I was wondering the same thing. I've got no issues with people not being comfortable with whatever, be it a condom in the trash, the way someone chews, or their political enthusiasms. But the level of shaming and assumptions here is a bit extreme and retrograde. She, or possibly someone else in her house, had sex with a condom and didn't do a great job of cleaning that up. Having protected sex and being a bit messy are things humans do, with the condom part of the sex equation generally regarded as "responsible." Yeah, I'd probably be less than psyched in OP's shoes, but I don't think that makes this woman Hester Pryne. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 Based on the information given, which was finding what is assumed to be a condom in the trash by someone half asleep, what STDs do you think she has? She's sexually promiscuous so naturally seeing how instantaneous she was at jumping into bed with him and leaving used condoms around (at least cover it up??), it's pretty obvious she's not careful with who she gets with at all. So yes, the likelihood of her getting an STD would be higher. Link to comment
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