Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

dmveep's Achievements


Collaborator (7/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges



  1. You are right. I’m not sure if there is any one specific thing. All I know is that there is some degree of hesitation or being unsure about her that was really exposed last night. I feel absolutely terrible about what happened as a result. Should I just be honest about the fact I was feeling unsure and got swept up in the passion of the moment? That’s the truth, right or wrong. Do you think I should just call her tonight to discuss? I honestly feel sick about it. Seeing her exclusively wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing as some have said just to figure things out. I don’t know I just feel like I’m going to throw up I’m so disgusted by myself.
  2. I went into the night feeling unsure about things. To set matters straight, she invited me to her place for dinner and invited me to her bed. We had only made out before then. I felt comfortable with fingering her or getting an HJ. I should have expressed that. Easy said than done when a naked woman takes off your pants and starts giving you a BJ. Ultimately, I don’t disagree, which is a why I feel so bad. It was a horrible thing to do. I had my hesitations and I didn’t express them. I’ve genuinely enjoyed hanging out with her but I think something is a little lacking in the physical department. I don’t think she’s an unattractive person by any means. I’m just an idiot.
  3. You could be right, but I do believe there are varying levels of physical attraction we all have to others. Objectively, some people are almost universally attractive, think A list actor types. Then some are probably almost universally unattractive. In regards to dating, I think the other person has to have an acceptable amount of attractiveness. Perhaps, I just feel really bad rejecting someone for a lack of physical attraction, when everything else seems perfect and I’m struggling to find a relationship. Perhaps, I wanted to see if it would change over time or challenge my notions about physical attraction or her not being my type wouldn’t matter. Maybe I thought dating my type wasn’t working so I should try something different?
  4. I like this, what do others think? Honestly, I don’t think I was particularly physically attracted to her the moment we met from an OLD app. However, her personality did win me over and she grew cuter over the night. Sometimes physical attraction can grow from this, but I’m not sure it was sufficient here. I’m not really sure if the way I feel about her will change if I continue to see her. Has anyone else been in this position? I have felt all in from the early goings before. There still just seems to be this hesitation I have about her that I’m not sure will go away over time.
  5. I don’t think she was being manipulative. She has only displayed sincerity and integrity 100 percent, which is one of her most attractive features. I think it was a combination of feeling intense passion yet also wanting to have an exclusive sexual relationship. Things just escalated rapidly, I certainly played my role in that. I shouldn’t have said that I was ok with just seeing her though but felt so tongue tied in the moment, saying anything but something affirmative in that moment seemed impossible. Admittedly, she had concerns, asking if things were moving too quickly. I honestly thought she just meant doing some hand stuff, but things really went wild.
  6. Thanks. I think that makes sense. The thing that concerned me most was trying to establish a level of exclusivity very quickly to permit moving forward with sex. I think this is a responsible and appropriate thing to establish but a bad time to bring it up. Would this also need to be addressed specifically? If so, how? As I mentioned, I feel terrible for wanting to explore other options, but stating that would be horrific.
  7. I’m really not sure how to phrase this. Is it possible to walk things back/slow things down if they move too fast? Is it possible I could tell her I didn’t feel ready for the exclusive conversation and panicked in the heat of the moment? I didn’t expect things to escalate so quickly. I feel super guilty about wanting to explore other options still.(catholic guilt manifestation haha) If I were her, I’d feel pretty hurt by any statement of that sort. I feel like there has been a couple of times where I was on the flip side of this situation, where I dated someone a few times, had sex, but the other person decided it wasn’t right for them. It hurt at the time but obviously I got over it.
  8. I wouldn’t mind seeing her a few more times to feel things out, but if I’m really honest with myself I’d be hoping for my hesitations to change. Typically from the past, I know these hesitations don’t always go away, but sometimes they do. We did use protection, so I don’t think that’s really an issue. I’m really struggling with this situation. After all this quarantining and isolation, I think I have felt some sense of desperation or loneliness at times. Do you think continuing to see her would be a mistake? I don’t really see any way to walk things back now. If I could do it again, I’d like to say, “ I want to still get to know you better but I’m not quite ready to be exclusive.” I don’t really feel like I ratcheted up the physical aspect significantly. I’ve never been the one night stand type of person. Would it be possible to propose a physical exclusivity but still continue dating others? I really feel lost here. Is this situation toast?
  9. I recently went on a fifth date with a really great girl. She is very sweet and kind. Our conversations are effortless. She treats me amazingly and does everything you want the person your dating to do. Despite this, I feel like there is something I’ve been hesitant about. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I’m maybe just not super attracted to her despite her great personal qualities that I seek in a relationship. I wanted to see if that would change so I continued to see her. Things got really hot and heavy last night . She asked me if I thought things were moving too fast, I said no, but I was only maybe expecting a make out session or HJ last night. We made out, then she initiated giving me a BJ, which was incredible by the way. Then, she stops when I had nearly ejaculated and said something that implied that she wanted to have sex. She then quickly said something like, “This probably isn’t the best time for this, but we probably shouldn’t see anyone else for a while?” I said,”that probably makes sense.” We then had sex, which was very short since I had already been about to explode. Anyway, I feel really bad now. I don’t think I was ready to have some makeshift, 2 second exclusivity talk when I was super sexually aroused. To be honest, I am still feeling things out as I mentioned above but panicked when she said that. I don’t really know how to move forward now. I still had a couple people I was chatting with online that I intended to meet, now I feel guilty about that. Ugh, I feel so bad and I don’t know what to do. Any recommendations? What would you do?
  10. I don’t subscribe to that kind of thing, which is why I always have an ample supply of dates. My only strategy is to be my goofy ol’ self, treat people how I wanted to be treated, and try to have fun along the way. I don’t think sending one or less texts/day, or going on 1-2 dates/week with someone your dating is coming on too strong.
  11. I’ve used both and found no difference between the two. I also find meeting people in the wild to be pretty similar these days.
  12. I’m not angry about this situation, just more disappointed. It’s not easy to keep putting yourself out there and not get the results you want.
  13. I definitely didn’t come on too strong. I somewhat came to the conclusion above here earlier today. When situations like this occur, you should never put in more effort than you receive back. There is no reason to force the issue. Sometimes it’s just confusing. Some women are slow to warm up, some women expect men to take the lead early on, it can be difficult to assess the differences between those and someone who is perhaps emotionally unavailable. In the future, I will try to keep things more even and reciprocal. How do I help sort out when I need to take the initiative vs. have an even reciprocity?
  • Create New...