Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[boltnrun]

45 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I love all the frilly expensive girl pampering . If I could do it all the time omg I would. But sadly not wealthy either , lol . 

One time one of my friends wanted to get together to do something fun.  So I said, sure, what did you want to do?  And she suggested getting pedicures together.  I said, um, ok, how much is that going to cost?  And she said, oh, about $35.  I about swallowed my dentures (not really, I don't actually have dentures.  But I almost choked).  So I asked if we could do something else instead.

I'm all about the food.  I love food.  So when I want to treat myself it's almost always food related.  Not necessarily junk food or high calorie food, just something delicious, well cooked, and something I don't usually have or don't cook myself because it takes too much work.  Something with hollandaise sauce (for example), which is extremely difficult to make correctly.  Or sea bass, or occasionally a luscious pastry like kouign amann.  Yum.

I'm sure you will be relaxed and glowing after your facial.  Enjoy!

[Seraphim]

12 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I think you figured it out on your own ❤️❤️. That's usually the case when my anxiety gets really bad too... some part of me is not getting what it needs, or is sad, or needs attention in some way. 

Your answer made me want to give you a hug. It sucks losing something you enjoyed so much. 

I love all things "spa". It's my jam, and lounging in a pool. Lol

And that’s the thing. There is just too much with too little support. My dad passed and my wee sweet kitty and my FIL. There is Covid. We have to move . There is every life-changing difficult event in there except for divorce you know what I mean? It makes people down. 
 

Thank you for the hug. I need to pick myself back up. I know the issues and what I need to fix it .It is just getting it. I do feel a bit less anxious knowing I figured out a lot of the issues. This was something I was not even capable of 10 years ago. I can also identify triggers much faster. I also stand up for being allowed to feel how I want. My mom was mad at me for feeling negatively about the whole trip and went back to minimizing my feelings again but I didn’t allow it. 
 

My son is a big support when I explained my feelings he said that made absolute sense. My mom says to keep my feelings to myself and don’t “ burden” him. She feels he is “ childlike” and you treat him more like an adult . And I always say mom he’s almost 24 years old he’s not a child. Just because he’s autistic there’s no reason to infantilize him. He understands way way way way more than you think he does. You haven’t lived with him in 11 years since he was like 12 years old he’s grown a lot in 11 years and he has a great capacity for understanding everything. 
 

ha ha anyway I’m just rambling now. 

 

Another thing I’ve realized since EMDR  therapy I don’t ramble as much in my journals as I used to. I just more state facts and not the feelings around them. I definitely have feelings around them. I have just become less verbose I guess. Maybe that’s age who knows or maybe it’s just more contentment. 

[Seraphim]

12 hours ago, boltnrun said:

One time one of my friends wanted to get together to do something fun.  So I said, sure, what did you want to do?  And she suggested getting pedicures together.  I said, um, ok, how much is that going to cost?  And she said, oh, about $35.  I about swallowed my dentures (not really, I don't actually have dentures.  But I almost choked).  So I asked if we could do something else instead.

I'm all about the food.  I love food.  So when I want to treat myself it's almost always food related.  Not necessarily junk food or high calorie food, just something delicious, well cooked, and something I don't usually have or don't cook myself because it takes too much work.  Something with hollandaise sauce (for example), which is extremely difficult to make correctly.  Or sea bass, or occasionally a luscious pastry like kouign amann.  Yum.

I'm sure you will be relaxed and glowing after your facial.  Enjoy!

And that’s the thing. Everyone likes something different. It makes the world so much more interesting. I love food too but can only indulge every so often. 
 

Many enjoyable  things I tend to want to do by myself. And then there’s others that I want to do with people. Like I love going for drives with my husband or movies with my friends. But the pampering things I like to do on my own. 

[Seraphim]

Today my parents would have been married 56 years. 

[Seraphim]

My son is getting his second shot on August 20. Yay!! 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

My son is getting his second shot on August 20. Yay!! 

I read online that Canada is doing a superb job with the vaccine rollout after the initial hiccups.  That's great news!

[Seraphim]

26 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I read online that Canada is doing a superb job with the vaccine rollout after the initial hiccups.  That's great news!

Absolutely our rollout picked up steam. Our vaccine rate is good but still needs to improve. Here in Ontario the mass vaccine sites are closing at the end of the month and you can book at a pharmacy , health unit  or primary care provider.

[boltnrun]

From CNN:

"Two travelers who arrived into Toronto from the United States in July were fined close to $20,000 each for noncompliance with entry requirements, according to the country's Public Health Agency.

The visitors provided false information related to proof of vaccination and pre-departure tests and didn't comply with requirements related to on-arrival testing and staying at government-approved accommodation, the agency said."

Canada is not messing around.  And good for them, I say!

[Seraphim]

44 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

From CNN:

"Two travelers who arrived into Toronto from the United States in July were fined close to $20,000 each for noncompliance with entry requirements, according to the country's Public Health Agency.

The visitors provided false information related to proof of vaccination and pre-departure tests and didn't comply with requirements related to on-arrival testing and staying at government-approved accommodation, the agency said."

Canada is not messing around.  And good for them, I say!

They might get deported and not be able to return. Well, it lying to gain entry should not be tolerated.

[Seraphim]

My son is getting his shot in the same place as the first one . In Barrie. It is not far from where the destructive tornado hit last month. ( They had minor rotation again there yesterday) If J and her daughter who is also my friend can come that would be great. I will visit my new place too. 
 

My hubby is having his Forces fitness test that day so he can’t come with us .  My son said he won’t become agitated this time . He promised to be calm about it . 

[luminousone]

Thinking of you!

[Seraphim]

13 minutes ago, luminousone said:

Thinking of you!

Thank you! Always wish you good thoughts and prayers as well . ❤️

[Seraphim]

Today we took the truck in to get the power steering fixed. Can’t wait to see that bill. 🙄

[Seraphim]

I took up my son’s DTC papers for the doctor to sign. Please send good thoughts or prayers or whatever you do. 

[Seraphim]

It is $2000 to fix the steering on our truck . And this morning my husband wakes me up to tell me that his sister broke her elbow up in Algonquin  Park and she has her elderly mother up there and we have to rescue them and bring them home which is a 12 hour round-trip. 

[Seraphim]

Why am I doing this? Because I love my R. It isn’t about them. 

[Seraphim]

Ugh if our current Prime Minister doesn’t get re elected I don’t hold much hope for my son getting the federal disability credit . 😩 I mean he probably will BUT… 

[Seraphim]

My last day in this house will be a year that my dad has passed and then the next night we are in a hotel. 
 

We arrive on our new base the day before his birthday. We won’t have our stuff yet but we will be at the hotel in the new city . 

My anxiety is cranking up and down. So so so so many things to do and change and nothing I hate more than change . 

[Seraphim]

We finally finished a week of almost 40 C with the humidity. It was ridiculous. Come on Fall!! About a month after we move it is Thanksgiving and my son’s 24th birthday. 

[Seraphim]

I come from a long line of unusual and independent women. Why am I so ordinary? Both my mother and grandmother were very unusual for generation , me , meh so typical 🙄 

[Seraphim]

In 15 days we are out of this house and into a hotel ready to move . 

[Seraphim]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Acadian_Day
 

Today is Acadian Day… Vive L’Acadie . 

[Seraphim]

He did it, he called it. Sept 20. 
 

Yesterday was not comfy. I tried to save my anxiety med for the moving days because I get a very controlled amount. So I didn’t take it yesterday and it was a little rough with the rebound anxiety . I took it today it is not worth the added anxiety. 

[Seraphim]

[Seraphim]

My yard is coming apart for the move 😓