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Have l been led on?

Minimix

By Minimix
in Dating Advice

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Minimix Rookie

Minimix

Posted
Posted

I've been in a situation with a guy for a while now. We met, hit it off and everything seemed to be progressing well. We admitted we had feelings for each other, he told me he'd fallen for me and loves me. He says l make him feel great and has never had a connection with anyone like he has with me, l make hum feel alive, we gel like no other. When l asked him if we were like girlfriend and boyfriend he says were just friends. I felt crushed and so confused , all the romantic talks we've had, everything we've shared and he says we're just friends. He continues to be romantic and tells me I'm his girl and he loves me (not in love with me but loves me for the person l am he says now) and says one day we'll be together. Part of me wants to cling onto his words, I've fallen for him, how could l not with all he's said to me. Another part of me is telling me he's leading me on. Have l been led on? I have confronted him as l think he's in a relationship with someone else and he got really nasty and ignored me for days. Then when he came back he warned me not to do it again or he'd drop me. Please help

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted

 

I have confronted him as l think he's in a relationship with someone else and he got really nasty and ignored me for days. Then when he came back he warned me not to do it again or he'd drop me. Please help

 

You know I rarely, if ever, get so wound up on these forums to post something like this -- but if that had been me, I would have told him to take his "threat," shove it up his a$$ and then walked out, FOREVER!

 

I don't know enough about the situation to say whether your suspicions were warranted or not, but him threatening to drop you the way he did was beyond the pale as far as I am concerned.

 

We teach people how to treat us.

 

NEXT!

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figureitout23 Grand Master

figureitout23

Posted
Posted

Wow.....

 

You dont love him, lets start there. You barely know this guy and nothing he has done could even lead to ''love'', he gave you some sweet words and you fell, hard.

 

Again, not because of love, but because you're desperately clinging to an idea. Hon, there's something missing in your life, you havent even met him!!!

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted
Wow.....

 

You dont love him, lets start there. You barely know this guy and nothing he has done could even lead to ''love'', he gave you some sweet words and you fell, hard.

 

Again, not because of love, but because you're desperately clinging to an idea. Hon, there's something missing in your life, you havent even met him!!!

 

Wha??? They've never even met? Holy cow.

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted
I've been in a situation with a guy for a while now. We met, hit it off and everything seemed to be progressing well.

 

I'm a bit confused Minimix. In this thread, you said you have met and hit it off. But in your previous thread just a week ago, you posted this:

 

I've been messaging a guy online for nearly a year now. What started off as a physical attraction soon grew into an intense connection between us. My problem is I've never met him, he always makes excuse when we set up a date to meet, he also won't give me his cell number and says he doesn't have social media

 

So which is it, can you clarify? Thanks.

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RayRay63 Mentor

RayRay63

Posted
Posted
.... He continues to be romantic and tells me I'm his girl and he loves me (not in love with me but loves me for the person l am he says now) and says one day we'll be together. ....Then when he came back he warned me not to do it again or he'd drop me. Please help

 

This guy is stringing you along while he is doing whatever he is doing in his location.

 

You are being cultivated as a back-up option that he might need later.

 

His controlling reactions when you questioned his actions are telling.

 

His behavior is appalling.

 

If you feel you must respond to this then I suggest you tell him you are not hanging around playing second fiddle to whatever he has going on, and not to contact you again.

 

Better still, just block/delete him without another word.

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milly007 Mentor

milly007

Posted
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Like the others have mentioned here, you're wasting your time. You're investing your precious time in a guy (at least, you think it's a guy) who is only using you for ego stroking and confidence boosting. He sounds like a master manipulator. He's playing with you. Don't like the idea of tossing around the term sociopath here, but one has to wonder who you're chatting with and anyone who plays these types of games, well...ya gotta wonder.

 

He reels you in by telling you everything that he thinks you want to hear, and when you take the bait, you reciprocate these so-called feelings that he has and in the process you continue to fuel this person's ego. He's manipulating you, he's manipulating your feelings, and it sounds like he takes pleasure in trying to control you by playing with your emotions.

 

Oh man, I could on and on here. He refuses to meet you, won't give you his phone number, and doesn't have social media?

 

Minimix, cannot emphasize enough how much you need to cut contact with this person and block them, forever! Whoever this keyboard warrior is has issues and as long as you continue to allow this person in your life, there's no doubt in my mind that you will continue to be miserable.

 

You have a choice here. Either continue to hold onto this fantasy and master manipulator who will only continue to make you feel crappy, or cut'em loose.

 

Based on this thread and your previous thread (where you acknowledge that a guy from online will not meet you), you clearly have your suspicions and you know that this person isn't treating you right. Your suspicions are correct. This person is using you for ego boosting and excitement.

 

You also say you've fallen for this person. Face it, you've only fallen for the idea or fantasy of who you think this person is, based on an image of who you want them to be. You don't know them personally. This person is feeding you lines. What they're doing is self-serving. A person who genuinely cared about you would NOT be doing what this person is doing to you.

 

I know I'm probably going to sound like a jerk here, but as long as you continue to chat with this person and engage them, any hurt you experience moving forward is based on a choice you made to continue chatting with someone who does not have your best interests at heart.

 

This person does not have good intentions. They're playing a game and using you in the process.

 

I hope you make the right choice. Please cut the dead online weight!

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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No, he's not leading you on. You willingly engaged in an over a year online situation with someone who you never met, spoke to or videochatted with. Therefore you chose to pursue this catfish, scammer, married guy, whatever on your own free will simply to believe sweet words and avoid real life.

he says now) and says one day we'll be together. Part of me wants to cling onto his words, I've fallen for him, how could l not with all he's said to me.
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