need honest opinion, what do girls think about a 33 year old guy living with parents

[Blackey]

So up until 3 months ago, i was living with my ex gf for many years. when she broke up with me very suddenly, the only place i could go to was to my parents place.

I have been here for 3 months now and thinking of moving out soon. Money has never been a problem, I am making very decent money.

In the meantime I got to think about it, I can stay with my parents until I find somebody to move in with and will save a lot of money, Or I can move out

on my own again, which is totally affordable to me, but I am seldom home- I am either working, or out with my friends doing something and coming home late to sleep.

I am kind of curious and i would like an honest opinion about what girls think of a 33 year old guy living with his parents in the context of dating (imagine you dont really know any other background about the guy).

[ThatwasThen]

If you have enough money for a down payment on a home of your own, why don't you make that investment? There is nothing like a solid investment then seeing the value of your home rise. There may be the odd down-turn but history has shown that the trend always reverses and corrects itself if you hold tight and don't sell in a downturn.

 

In this day and age I don't think women are as turned off about a guy living with his parents still since so many are in Uni and post grad education for so long that their careers don't start to later on. It wouldn't bother me that you live with your parents but you would have to be in an established career and fiscally responsible.

[arjumand]

I bet to differ -- it isn't just about money. When I and my friends were dating we never met a guy living at home at that age who was not overly enmeshed in family -- mommy doing laundry, daddy helping with taxes, everyone having an opinion on who he was dating, etc.

 

Frankly, I think you using your parents house as a way to avoid having to date or get serious with anyone for a while because you were hurt -- which is fine. But face it for what it is.

[Blackey]

thank you for the honest opinion, i really appreciate it

[mustlovedogs]

Guy living at home is honestly a huge no go to me.

 

And a guy with roommates in his thirties feels so childish. I have colleagues that do it and it’s so weird to me.

[ThatwasThen]

thank you for the honest opinion, i really appreciate it

 

What part of the world do you live in, Blackey? I think that European people would put far less importance on a man living with parents then say someone in the USA (or even Canada is some parts) would.

Also.. In Australia, the cost of housing is so expensive that often kids don't leave the nest at an early age.

 

Some cultures don't leave their parents home until they are going to be married even.

[j.man]

I'd imagine they'd be much more reserved about the very reason many would consider it more excusable that you're living with your parents-- you've pretty much just broke up with a girlfriend of many years.

[annie24]

I think given that you just broke up, it would be fine with me.... for a while. I would want him to have some active plans to move out to his own place in the near future.

 

But yes, like j.man said, just breaking up from a long term relationship would be a red flag - I would worry you're not ready to really start seriously dating again.

[itsallgrand]

Huge no. Nothing wrong with your situation right now, I wouldn't blink at that, makes sense you'd spend some time recalibrating at your parents home since it's an option. But not to hunker down and stay. Unless you use that time to grieve your relationship, not date, get yourself set up again, then go back out there. But dating while living at home with folks ( with few exceptions)- huge no.

[Cope]

I am kind of curious and i would like an honest opinion about what girls think of a 33 year old guy living with his parents in the context of dating (imagine you dont really know any other background about the guy).

 

I live in Europe.With no Background story, i'd just be suspicious,but it is a norm over here. If, down the line, I find out that you can move out but you still live with your parents, I would be cautious to say the least.

 

So why are you still living with your parents? I mean, I understand why at this point, you just broke up and it must be a very hard time so let me rephrase, are you planing to move out? From your description "I can move out on my own again, which is totally affordable to me, but I am seldom home- I am either working, or out with my friends doing something and coming home late to sleep.", I understand that right now you just feel lonely. Why don't you leave dating for now until you don't feel as lonely?

[Blackey]

I live in Canada.

So try to think from a prospective of you don't really know anything about my break up, and all you see is a 33 year old guy you are considering dating, but he lives with his parents at the moment.

[Honeycomb8]

I think it's a little strange. But then again I live in a city where an average, not so amazing house costs 1.5++mil easy. So renting or living with parents is normal. I would be turned off though.

[j.man]

And a guy with roommates in his thirties feels so childish. I have colleagues that do it and it’s so weird to me.

When I first moved to NYC, I sublet my own 1BR or studio when possible, but even as someone who hasn't lived home since 18 and has been 100% financially independent since, the cost of having my own bathroom and not having to say "good morning" to someone should we cross paths in the common area was simply not worth it.

 

Rooming with someone is something I've personally never judged on its own. Now if you're working for $8.50 an hour and are content working the checkout stand until retirement, rooming with someone in an apartment that's unnecessarily expensive to the point you're not even getting the benefit of saving anything... again, more power to anyone who's happy with that life, but it would be a whole other field of conflicting values.

[Blackey]

Cope- So the reason I did not move out yet is because the break up happened during a very bad time, my work place sent me for for an advanced course (they are investing in me). This course is very intense, it is also full time monday

to Friday, and on the weekends I have to study to catch up with the material, so I didnt have time to look for a place because I am studying most of the time. This course will finish in about 3 weeks so I will have more time to actually look for a place.

[itsallgrand]

Why are you worrying about this now though?

[ThatwasThen]

I live in Canada.

So try to think from a prospective of you don't really know anything about my break up, and all you see is a 33 year old guy you are considering dating, but he lives with his parents at the moment.

 

Well, my first question would be why are you still living with your parents and if you said because you just broke up with a live in partner then I wouldn't consider dating you (no one wants to be a rebound). If it was because you just finished graduate school or some such and have been working and saving for your own HOME (not apt) then it wouldn't stop me from dating you.

[j.man]

Cope- So the reason I did not move out yet is because the break up happened during a very bad time, my work place sent me for for an advanced course (they are investing in me). This course is very intense, it is also full time monday

to Friday, and on the weekends I have to study to catch up with the material, so I didnt have time to look for a place because I am studying most of the time. This course will finish in about 3 weeks so I will have more time to actually look for a place.

I think you're just putting the cart in front of the horse. Again, I'd think that if anyone-- man or woman-- heard your situation. they'd think it perfectly reasonable you've been collecting yourself back home. But what's reasonable or understandable and what's ideal in a dating partner are two completely different things. Generally speaking, people want to see a potential partner having their **** together, which often comes at a reasonably low standard of having a job and not living under your parents' roof.

 

You admit yourself you've got less than a month before you can put a real effort into searching for places and getting back on your own two feet. Just worry about that. You're not going to miss much in the meantime.

[Cope]

Cope- So the reason I did not move out yet is because the break up happened during a very bad time, my work place sent me for for an advanced course (they are investing in me). This course is very intense, it is also full time monday

to Friday, and on the weekends I have to study to catch up with the material, so I didnt have time to look for a place because I am studying most of the time. This course will finish in about 3 weeks so I will have more time to actually look for a place.

 

Thanks for the clarification! I really wouldn't start dating if I was in your position, so don't worry about what others would think. Get your life in order for YOU and then start dating.Even if you are still living with your parents, but you have your life in order, you won't give a s***

 

The reason why I get turned off by men still living with their parents is because they might not know how it is to live on their own and they will most likely look at me as a replacement for their mother. Also, they tend to not know a lot when it comes to housekeeping and all the economics that comes with that.

[mustlovedogs]

When I first moved to NYC, I sublet my own 1BR or studio when possible, but even as someone who hasn't lived home since 18 and has been 100% financially independent since, the cost of having my own bathroom and not having to say "good morning" to someone should we cross paths in the common area was simply not worth it.

 

Rooming with someone is something I've personally never judged on its own. Now if you're working for $8.50 an hour and are content working the checkout stand until retirement, rooming with someone in an apartment that's unnecessarily expensive to the point you're not even getting the benefit of saving anything... again, more power to anyone who's happy with that life, but it would be a whole other field of conflicting values.

 

I’m not necessarily turned off for having roommates, but I wouldn’t do it. I also don’t live in cities that are prohibitively expensive.

[Hollyj]

I would not go for it. I would like something was off, if he was not there do to financial issues. I would be seeking someone who is more mature and independent.

 

I also think it is a terrible idea to wait to meet someone that you can move in with.

[Hollyj]

Cope- So the reason I did not move out yet is because the break up happened during a very bad time, my work place sent me for for an advanced course (they are investing in me). This course is very intense, it is also full time monday

to Friday, and on the weekends I have to study to catch up with the material, so I didnt have time to look for a place because I am studying most of the time. This course will finish in about 3 weeks so I will have more time to actually look for a place.

 

That is not what you initially said. Quite different actually. " I can stay with my parents until I find somebody to move in with and will save a lot of money, Or I can move out

on my own again, which is totally affordable to me, but I am seldom home- I am either working, or out with my friends doing something and coming home late to sleep."

[abitbroken]

It is totally reasonable to be living with your parents. I would be concerned if you had NEVER lived away from your folks -- but people move back in for short periods that are totally understandable -- they live in another state and are job transferred back to their home state and don't want to leap into buying a house the day they get there -- they want to make sure the job is what they want and want to take time to find the right house, they are married and their spouse suddenly kicks them out with nowhere for them to go, the landlord sells where they had been living and they couldn't find a new place fast enough.

 

I would be more concerned that the breakup was too fresh more so than the entire fact of living with your folks. If you just broke up 2 months ago, let's say, i wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole. If you broke up a year ago and took a year to live with your folks to catch your bearings and to decide if you wanted to stay in the area and you will look for a place when the moment is right - sure.

 

Don't be in a hurry to buy a house this instant - make sure you are where you want to be area-wise. And sometimes people wait to buy a house due to market timing.

[abitbroken]

I think you're just putting the cart in front of the horse. Again, I'd think that if anyone-- man or woman-- heard your situation. they'd think it perfectly reasonable you've been collecting yourself back home. But what's reasonable or understandable and what's ideal in a dating partner are two completely different things. Generally speaking, people want to see a potential partner having their **** together, which often comes at a reasonably low standard of having a job and not living under your parents' roof.

 

You admit yourself you've got less than a month before you can put a real effort into searching for places and getting back on your own two feet. Just worry about that. You're not going to miss much in the meantime.

 

I completely agree. Get your training program finished - reconnect with friends who you lost touch with during the breakup on the weekends, etc. See how you feel about getting a place at that point or staying a few more months to decide what area you really want to be in. If i were not taken, i would rather date someone who is temporarily living with mom and dad and has been single for a year than a man in his own place that just broke up with his girlfriend 2 weeks ago.

[Last Gentleman]

My last relationship lived with 2 roommates at 28 and earning quite enough money, I dated her because I liked her a lot but honestly having sex with someone, knowing people in the next room

will hear you or her, isn't fun at all so I prefer to bring women home, but it's still freaking annoying !

I'm also of the idea that all the people I met living with roommates, seemed to still be quite immature and not really living a normal life, like my ex she couldn't face being alone honestly.

[tattoobunnie]

I'd have zero issue with it, and didn't when my hubby was living with his mom at 32. Or this guy a zillion years ago who owned the house, but had his mom living with him (super nice lady). But I'm first generation born here, Chinese, so that may actually factor into that it's totally normal. To be honest, I'd be happy if my folks lived in my house. Chinese people (most case) tend to live with their parents until they get married - you get to save a boatload of money that way.