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About Blackey

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  1. Hey folks , feeling extra lonely and sad tonight. So I accepted a job offer and moved into a different country a week ago. The place looks nice, people are friendly, but I dont know anybody here and I'm just sitting at home by myself, terribly missing my friends. I met a girl shortly after landing here , dated for 3 days and then today she just disappeared. I dont have a car yet so cant really explorer the area. I know things will get better , I will meet people as I go and good is yet to come , but right now i just feel like a lonely loser , never felt this way before. Thanks for
  2. It was a cold winter day, 9 years ago to be precise that my life has radically changed. It was a stormy winter day, I was coming back from work, the road was very slippery, and somehow i managed to get into a car accident. The damage to the car was pretty great, but luckily I was OK. After all the mess that the accident involved has cleared (about 2 hours later), all frozen, exhausted and defeated, i dialed my GF of 2 years at the time (plus 5 years of very close and intimate friendship before) to talk and just get some piece of mind after that accident. When telling her about her
  3. being a health care provider myself, i would highly suggest you to reconsider therapy. Complicated grieving is not a part of normal grieving as you know and it can spiral down without any interventions. I am sure that you are a good provider yourself, but some therapists specialize in PTSD as well as relationships and many of them have came up with customized method to tackle issues better than others. I say its worth giving it a try considering that the alternative is going downhill. Another advice I can give you is a bit crazy- Take a year off and go travel in different countries-
  4. HAHA Kerryalex! thats a very funny and creative idea with some truth behind it :) One of the greatest ways for outleting pain is by channeling it into creativity in any way or form! You got great means to survive this brutal war called divorce! Stay strong brother!
  5. yeh exactly the same thing happens to me every once in a while. I assume it is sleep, but not a deep sleep or anything like that. To keep yourself from feelings tired, just convince your brain that you did sleep, as oppose to thinking that u didnt not sleep the whole night, it will help you to be more productive during the day.
  6. I don’t get it, maybe somebody can explain it to me who has been in this positon... my ex gf dumped me 4 months ago... absolutely no contact after the break up, but 3-4 of our photos that clearly shows that we are together are still on her Facebook... I erased our photos right after the break up ... why do they keep the photos on?
  7. Cope- So the reason I did not move out yet is because the break up happened during a very bad time, my work place sent me for for an advanced course (they are investing in me). This course is very intense, it is also full time monday to Friday, and on the weekends I have to study to catch up with the material, so I didnt have time to look for a place because I am studying most of the time. This course will finish in about 3 weeks so I will have more time to actually look for a place.
  8. I live in Canada. So try to think from a prospective of you don't really know anything about my break up, and all you see is a 33 year old guy you are considering dating, but he lives with his parents at the moment.
  9. I am considering booking a vacation and going somewhere by myself, just to get away from everything and distract myself from the break up headache and heartache. The idea of going on a vacation by by myself initially sounded very primitive and stupid (who goes on vacations by themselves you need to go with somebody), but the more I think about it, I come to the conclusion that it might be a therapeutic step and i might meet new people out there. Did anybody have the experience of going on a vacation by themselves and what destinations would you recommend to somebody who is still in the proc
  10. So up until 3 months ago, i was living with my ex gf for many years. when she broke up with me very suddenly, the only place i could go to was to my parents place. I have been here for 3 months now and thinking of moving out soon. Money has never been a problem, I am making very decent money. In the meantime I got to think about it, I can stay with my parents until I find somebody to move in with and will save a lot of money, Or I can move out on my own again, which is totally affordable to me, but I am seldom home- I am either working, or out with my friends doing something and coming hom
  11. That’s tell that we are all human beings- it’s complicated. Our psychology is rooted in ancient evolutionary instincts and reactions that are not adaptable to today situations. As I said it’s very complicated but to make it simple, we are all hardwired to experience these type of emotions at least for some time after the abandonment (with exception of some mental illnesses), so all it says about us is that we are human beings and experience normal Feelings.
  12. I feel the same way, my most creative and productive time was after break ups, and while in relationships, despite of the fact that they were good, I was not as inspired to write. My assumption is that the strongest inspiration comes in painful times, and when times are good, we kinda need to force ourselves to write- its harder but still possible...its much easier when you are hurting and inspiration is right there. cheers.
  13. As someone who is working in the health care field, I highly advise you to go see your doctor to rule out potential issues. It might be something minor and transient, or something that needs further interventions. Please proceed to see your doctor.
  14. Sherry, Interesting point of view. Perhaps you are right, I am not the greatest at expressing things at writing- the post was not suppose to be derogatory on any level. The point that I was trying to maje was that i could have taken the easy way out, just like many others but I decided not to. Sorry that you did not get the actual point of the post
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