Makeit Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Well hold the phone...she did get back to me.... ;-) Note to self: Don't panic. Be more patient. Don't be an idiot :) Carus* Good to hear. Let us know more. Link to comment
Carus Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Good to hear. Let us know more. Alrighty then: Journal ~ The Rebound(?) Glad you've met someone Carus! don't be afraid of it being a rebound at all, I don't really believe it in unless it's when you're still during your crying and can't get out of bed stage, as of now you've healed a lot, sure you might be sad still but who is to say that what gets you out of that sadness can't be someone to love? When I met the girl I'm dating now it propelled me forward through months of healing and the while at first I still missed my ex I rarely think of her now. So really happy for you man! At the very least at least you know you have a connection and an ability to fall for others If this were somebody elses thread and I was advising on it, I would probably say things like: This is a rebound. You are not healed yet. Be careful etc... And in my situation, I would basically say the same things....No I'm not healed yet. Yes I need to be careful.... But I guess I would also say: You like this girl. Just take it slow and be open and honest with her.... Also, at this stage, we're hardly dating yet...We've just met and seem to like each other so we'll see what comes.... Regardless of what happens, the respite from the pain I've carried is sooooo nice...even if it's just temporary.... But right now, I don't care one bit if my ex calls me or not, and that is definitely so great to actually feel that....I've remained fairly adamant all along that she has gone and won't be back and I still stand by that. Because I feel that I did everything I could to salvage my marriage, and I do mean everything....AND I gave her 5 months to come around, I feel no guilt in moving on now and seeing where things go with Jessica* So I called her once only this morning and then just sent a text saying hope you're having a good day, let me know when you're free to chat...and then I put it aside.. Then, because I didn't hear from her I started to feel a bit down again and rejected....Now this is due to where I'm at with my exwife sure, but also this taps into my core issues like abandonment, and my attachment style.....These are things that I have been aware of for sometime, but obviously need more work.... Then whilst at work I was driving down the freeway talking to my passenger when I see a text come in on my phone....It was Jess.... I can't use my phone whilst I have pax onboard so I had to let it sit there....Good though because we must practice patience, especially when it comes to relationships... After dropping the lady off I drove up the road a bit and read the message....She was basically apologizing for missing my call but she'd left her phone at home when she went out. She hopes I had an amazing weekend (it was cool but not really amazing lol). She is at a friends place for dinner but maybe we can talk tomorrow...with a few smiley faces... OK so I have to admit I yelled 'YES!" and did a couple of fist pumps.... :) I texted her back, thanked her for her message, said I was at work (asked her if texting and driving is illegal heh), have a relaxing night and we'll talk tomorrow. I added that I am planning to go to our 'secret' beach at 11am... She laughed at my joke, said she had a doctors appointment at 11 but will head straight to the beach after that and hopefully see me there!!! So yeh, hopefully I'll see her at the beach tomorrow.... Now I have a couple of concerns and as always, your thoughts are more than welcome: A) A big part of my heart still belongs to my ex...but I will honestly say again, right now, because of this, I don't care if she calls me or not. ie: I'm not waiting for her anymore. In fact, I hope she doesn't call...! B) Jessica is 18 years younger than me...Because I look well younger than my age, she probably doesn't realize this yet either. I did speak to my sister about it though and she doesn't think it's much of a problem...Jessica is 30.... C) She loves animals and has a bit of a menagerie of pets. She has some exotic pets like a carpet python...and two tarantulas..>!! Guys, I do NOT like spiders at all..... I've overcome my fear of them a lot over the years and she says she never touches them or let's them out of the aquarium, but boy, this is testing me....lol So let's just hang out and have fun and see where it goes.... And lastly, in my years working in this field I have many times come across this myth/phenomenon that when you start dating someone new, THAT is when the ex starts to come back.... I am here to dispel that myth...* :cool: And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I have my wonderful, wonderful ENA family to help me through whatever comes up. Love to You All Carus* PS: Today I am grateful for: A) The Universe for bringing Jess into my life at whatever capacity that may be. B) I have access to so much glorious food. C) All the people who have donated their time on the internet and YouTube so I can learn about breakups and relationships. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Alrighty then: Journal ~ The Rebound(?) If this were somebody elses thread and I was advising on it, I would probably say things like: This is a rebound. You are not healed yet. Be careful etc... And in my situation, I would basically say the same things....No I'm not healed yet. Yes I need to be careful.... But I guess I would also say: You like this girl. Just take it slow and be open and honest with her.... Also, at this stage, we're hardly dating yet...We've just met and seem to like each other so we'll see what comes.... Regardless of what happens, the respite from the pain I've carried is sooooo nice...even if it's just temporary.... But right now, I don't care one bit if my ex calls me or not, and that is definitely so great to actually feel that....I've remained fairly adamant all along that she has gone and won't be back and I still stand by that. Because I feel that I did everything I could to salvage my marriage, and I do mean everything....AND I gave her 5 months to come around, I feel no guilt in moving on now and seeing where things go with Jessica* So I called her once only this morning and then just sent a text saying hope you're having a good day, let me know when you're free to chat...and then I put it aside.. Then, because I didn't hear from her I started to feel a bit down again and rejected....Now this is due to where I'm at with my exwife sure, but also this taps into my core issues like abandonment, and my attachment style.....These are things that I have been aware of for sometime, but obviously need more work.... Then whilst at work I was driving down the freeway talking to my passenger when I see a text come in on my phone....It was Jess.... I can't use my phone whilst I have pax onboard so I had to let it sit there....Good though because we must practice patience, especially when it comes to relationships... After dropping the lady off I drove up the road a bit and read the message....She was basically apologizing for missing my call but she'd left her phone at home when she went out. She hopes I had an amazing weekend (it was cool but not really amazing lol). She is at a friends place for dinner but maybe we can talk tomorrow...with a few smiley faces... OK so I have to admit I yelled 'YES!" and did a couple of fist pumps.... :) I texted her back, thanked her for her message, said I was at work (asked her if texting and driving is illegal heh), have a relaxing night and we'll talk tomorrow. I added that I am planning to go to our 'secret' beach at 11am... She laughed at my joke, said she had a doctors appointment at 11 but will head straight to the beach after that and hopefully see me there!!! So yeh, hopefully I'll see her at the beach tomorrow.... Now I have a couple of concerns and as always, your thoughts are more than welcome: A) A big part of my heart still belongs to my ex...but I will honestly say again, right now, because of this, I don't care if she calls me or not. ie: I'm not waiting for her anymore. In fact, I hope she doesn't call...! B) Jessica is 18 years younger than me...Because I look well younger than my age, she probably doesn't realize this yet either. I did speak to my sister about it though and she doesn't think it's much of a problem...Jessica is 30.... C) She loves animals and has a bit of a menagerie of pets. She has some exotic pets like a carpet python...and two tarantulas..>!! Guys, I do NOT like spiders at all..... I've overcome my fear of them a lot over the years and she says she never touches them or let's them out of the aquarium, but boy, this is testing me....lol So let's just hang out and have fun and see where it goes.... And lastly, in my years working in this field I have many times come across this myth/phenomenon that when you start dating someone new, THAT is when the ex starts to come back.... I am here to dispel that myth...* :cool: And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I have my wonderful, wonderful ENA family to help me through whatever comes up. Love to You All Carus* PS: Today I am grateful for: A) The Universe for bringing Jess into my life at whatever capacity that may be. B) I have access to so much glorious food. C) All the people who have donated their time on the internet and YouTube so I can learn about breakups and relationships. Ahhh Carus, A good woman will always keep you waiting for a little while brother.. usually a few hours at least! ;) To be honest, the GIANT SPIDERS are probably the only reason I have never been to Oz (I would love to come over for the Ashes with the Barmy Army or something).. Jess needs to get rid of them, for sure.. having them as a pet is just sadistic! lol "If this were somebody elses thread and I was advising on it, I would probably say things like: This is a rebound. You are not healed yet. Be careful etc..." - Yes, it is a recurring theme that people may offer different advice to how they are handling their own situation (I am as guilty as most!). In my opinion, I can tell just from your writing on the update that you really dig this girl.. Slow, open and honest is the way to go and you will be just fine. "OK so I have to admit I yelled 'YES!" and did a couple of fist pumps.... :)" - LOVE IT MATE, I gotta admit, I did that too whilst reading your post! That age gap is nothing btw.. many 30yr old females would love a 48 year old guy, especially the *Carus edition! Believe it or not, the most stable relationship I have seen in my lifetime, is my sister's. She has been with her partner for 25 years and there is a 21 year age gap. "A) A big part of my heart still belongs to my ex...but I will honestly say again, right now, because of this, I don't care if she calls me or not. ie: I'm not waiting for her anymore. In fact, I hope she doesn't call...!" - This is very interesting.. I am definitely of the opinion that you can love 2 different people, and in different ways. This is not to say I have ever cheated. I just think it's possible. No, don't wait for the ex, as such - this is correct. Live your life, be as happy as you can be see what develops. "And lastly, in my years working in this field I have many times come across this myth/phenomenon that when you start dating someone new, THAT is when the ex starts to come back.... I am here to dispel that myth...*" - We shall see my friend. We shall see.. I like that your grateful lists have made a welcome return. "And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I have my wonderful, wonderful ENA family to help me through whatever comes up." - That you certainly do.. I hope you get everything you want out of tomorrow's hook up buddy.. Just ensure she doesn't bring any of her furry friends with her!!! S x Link to comment
Morello Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 This is great to hear, Carus! Timing is really important and you seem to be in a good head space to try with the new girl. Go for it! And don't even think about age difference, it is irrelevant after we reach 30. I met a really nice girl about a month after my break up, very nice connection, we got together a few times but I couldn't stop thinking about the ex. It wasn't fair on her. I was honest and explained the situation to her. She was glad I did and my unavailability just seemed to make her attraction for me even stronger. We kept in touch. When I travelled overseas for a month she met a guy and started dating him. When I got back it was too late to resume our fling. She told me she got the impression I only wanted to be her friend and wouldn't have dated this guy if she knew I'd get interested. In a sense she was right, even when I got back I still had hope I would rekindle with the ex. She messaged me a few times after that saying she was confused and thought she had made the wrong decision. We met again and the connection was there (probably even stronger) but since she was still seeing this other guy I decided to go NC. We both got sad with how the situation turned out. This is also part of the reason I feel bad about my ex. She not only left me but the timing was such that it blocked me from starting something nice with this other girl even a few months later. I feel miserable when I think about the whole situation, but it is what it is. Life throws rocks before it throws flowers. It appears that you are at least in a position to evaluate better what your feelings are for the new girl when they start surfacing. I guess the best outcome is that it makes you think less about the ex, there is no price on that. It's just forward from here. You can expect your ex to contact you at some point. She's not gonna go silent forever, especially after you told her how you feel about her. It doesn't mean she will want to get back together but having this new girl around wil put you in a great position to respond, even if it's just a breadcrumb. Good luck my friend and keep us posted! :) Link to comment
dave4443 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 I know I was worried about the rebound thing at first but it's been 7 months for me since the breakup and I no longer have a desire to get back with my ex either it's more just I'll always remember her since we were together so long, and being single you have more time to think but now she doesn't enter my mind as much. I was honest though and when she understood and said she can help it just made me forget the ex quicker haha. Congratulations! Patience is the hard one I've started learning, only think they're ignoring you if it's been more than a few days. She definitely sounds into you with that talk so that's great. Don't worry about the animals she'll probably find it cute that you're a buff guy scared of turantulas I doubt it will be an issue whatsoever. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 LOL Carus, if it's of any reassurance, I've had several venomous spider bites and survived. Link to comment
Ian4996 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hope it goes well today Carus! It sounds like you went from being quite down when she hadn't replied after a few hours to being totally elated when she did reply. This is exactly how I often was with the last girl I was dating (the one my thread is about).........................I've come to realise since that this isn't healthy and that my moods shouldn't be dictated by whether a woman replies or doesn't reply. I hope this message doesn't sound negative...........................it isn't meant to and I hope you have an awesome day!.....................I guess I'm just saying don't get too carried away too early. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hey Carus! Hope she shows at the beach today, and you have a great time. Don't worry about the age, she doesn't seem to care. The maturity level may not be equal, but maybe that's what you need, some fun and distraction to get you over the last hurdle. No harm in that. I met a guy who ughhhhhhh!!!!! lives over two hours away. Where I would love to move to, as I visit his state every summer for the past 12 years. Just my luck. Strong physical and mental attraction, my type, and tooooooo far!! The universe is unfair lol. Link to comment
Makeit Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Jealous of everyone meeting someone all of the sudden! I sure could use somene that actually catches my attention to come in my life! Waiting for an update Carus! Link to comment
Carus Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hey Carus! Hope she shows at the beach today, and you have a great time. Jealous of everyone meeting someone all of the sudden! I sure could use someone that actually catches my attention to come in my life! Waiting for an update Carus! Yeh well don't be too jealous Makeit*...I don't know about others but I'm not in a new relationship yet by any means and any sort of rejection at this point can bring on the pain...Little bit more about that later though.... Sorry guys but she texted me to say her car broke down so she wouldn't make it to the beach today....I still went and it was absolutely gorgeous! I've really stumbled across a gem there because aside from the fact it's a nice beach, there is always different hot girls there! For instance, remember Ripley who I first met there? lol So it's a great place to continue brushing up on the skills....When I was telling my brother about walking up and saying Hi to Jessica he says "How do you do that? I just couldn't do it!"....I told him "Well you could actually"......But I know what he means...I've always been confident but it does get shattered after my relationships get trashed. But anyway, I didn't get to see her and in her text she said hopefully we would speak later, but I didn't hear from her again for the rest of the day.... That's cool....I find myself not actually being too bothered by it and thinking about the ex too much, but I haven't gone spiraling backwards either. I'll see if she gets in contact over the next couple of days..... To be honest, the GIANT SPIDERS are probably the only reason I have never been to Oz (I would love to come over for the Ashes with the Barmy Army or something).. Jess needs to get rid of them, for sure.. having them as a pet is just sadistic! lol Oh come on mate...It's not that bad...The kangaroos are much more ferocious ;-) And yeh I did reflect on what sort of person keeps snakes and spiders as pets..?? Hmmmm..... "And lastly, in my years working in this field I have many times come across this myth/phenomenon that when you start dating someone new, THAT is when the ex starts to come back.... I am here to dispel that myth...*" - We shall see my friend. We shall see.... Oh you'll see alright....lol I'll send you my resume' of all my other breakups....this one is looking prettttty similar* I like that your grateful lists have made a welcome return. Yes I like that....Normally I update my journal after work before bed so it's a good last thing to be thinking about when you go to sleep. I believe gratefulness is a fantastic tool to have in our Healing Tool Belt. "And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I have my wonderful, wonderful ENA family to help me through whatever comes up." - That you certainly do.. Thankyou Brother* I guess the best outcome is that it makes you think less about the ex, there is no price on that. It's just forward from here. Oh God yes...! It's worth it's weight in gold on that fact alone..! I still think about my ex throughout the day, every day....but the associated pain is subsiding...I'm also getting better at getting rid of the thoughts, images and flashbacks using the Swiping Technique (Patent Pending lol)...I really do suggest start putting it into practice* I was actually reflecting today that when I was with Jessica on that day, I wasn't thinking about my ex really at all, so that shows that it has potential I guess and also shows how far down the road I've come. You can expect your ex to contact you at some point. She's not gonna go silent forever, especially after you told her how you feel about her. You go sit over there>> with Sputnik* and SweetGirl*.....:cool: lol S'funny though...I would think that it's because I did tell her how I felt that she's now taken the power and run off with it no...? It doesn't mean she will want to get back together but having this new girl around wil put you in a great position to respond, even if it's just a breadcrumb. As a hypothetical, you are right about that....The interest I have in Jess has certainly taken away any rush to get back with my ex if that were ever to happen* And that feels gooood! Always nice to 'see' you Morello* I know I was worried about the rebound thing at first but it's been 7 months for me.....I was honest though and when she understood and said she can help it just made me forget the ex quicker haha. That's great Dave* ~ How's that going by the way...? Don't worry about the animals she'll probably find it cute that you're a buff guy scared of turantulas I doubt it will be an issue whatsoever. I'm not worried about what she thinks about it, I'm worried I'll wake up with one of the damn things snoozing on my face!! LOL Carus, if it's of any reassurance, I've had several venomous spider bites and survived. I'm not so worried about them biting me. They'll have to catch me first! haha! Hope it goes well today Carus! It sounds like you went from being quite down when she hadn't replied after a few hours to being totally elated when she did reply. This is exactly how I often was with the last girl I was dating (the one my thread is about).........................I've come to realise since that this isn't healthy and that my moods shouldn't be dictated by whether a woman replies or doesn't reply. I hope this message doesn't sound negative...........................it isn't meant to and I hope you have an awesome day!.....................I guess I'm just saying don't get too carried away too early. Not negative at all Buddy* In fact, it's so great that you have this awareness now...And yes I'm aware of it too.... I wanted to say though as I mentioned above, when she didn't get back to me that first day, yes I went down quite a bit. Even cried I think...? But today, not so much....So perhaps this situation is actually helping me in some way regardless of where it goes....If it goes nowhere, perhaps I won't feel too bad about it after all....We shall see* Don't worry about the age, she doesn't seem to care. Thanks Darling. That's nice to hear....Thing is though, because I don't look anywhere near 48 I'm not sure how old she thinks I am....lol I'm sure it will come up at some early point....and then we'll see....Certainly doesn't bother me ;-) The maturity level may not be equal, but maybe that's what you need, some fun and distraction to get you over the last hurdle. No harm in that. I wouldn't say it's the last hurdle but yes, it's really helped, even if it goes no further..... I met a guy who ughhhhhhh!!!!! lives over two hours away. Where I would love to move to, as I visit his state every summer for the past 12 years. Just my luck. Strong physical and mental attraction, my type, and tooooooo far!! The universe is unfair lol. The Youniverse is just prepping you SweetGirl* ~ It won't be long...and you know how I know that? Because you are opening yourself up to the opportunity.... What I mean by that is, a lot of people who get very hurt in a breakup will close down and say things like "I'll never get into another relationship again!" or "I'll never love again"....and with that mantra, that's usually how it turns out.... Because I've been through about 180 heartbreaking breakups now, I'm fairly certain there'll be someone else soon enough....* Maybe tomorrow* GNite Y'all....Thanks again for hangin' out at my place* Carus* Today I am Grateful for: A) My fingers. B) My toes. C) The fact I'm not in jail or hospital. Link to comment
Carus Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 Dear Ex. I miss you beyond words....beyond breath... But I guess the diamonds weren't real diamonds and the gold wasn't real gold. Love Carus* Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Ahhh Carus, A good woman will always keep you waiting for a little while brother.. usually a few hours at least! ;) To be honest, the GIANT SPIDERS are probably the only reason I have never been to Oz (I would love to come over for the Ashes with the Barmy Army or something).. Jess needs to get rid of them, for sure.. having them as a pet is just sadistic! lol "If this were somebody elses thread and I was advising on it, I would probably say things like: This is a rebound. You are not healed yet. Be careful etc..." - Yes, it is a recurring theme that people may offer different advice to how they are handling their own situation (I am as guilty as most!). In my opinion, I can tell just from your writing on the update that you really dig this girl.. Slow, open and honest is the way to go and you will be just fine. "OK so I have to admit I yelled 'YES!" and did a couple of fist pumps.... :)" - LOVE IT MATE, I gotta admit, I did that too whilst reading your post! That age gap is nothing btw.. many 30yr old females would love a 48 year old guy, especially the *Carus edition! Believe it or not, the most stable relationship I have seen in my lifetime, is my sister's. She has been with her partner for 25 years and there is a 21 year age gap. "A) A big part of my heart still belongs to my ex...but I will honestly say again, right now, because of this, I don't care if she calls me or not. ie: I'm not waiting for her anymore. In fact, I hope she doesn't call...!" - This is very interesting.. I am definitely of the opinion that you can love 2 different people, and in different ways. This is not to say I have ever cheated. I just think it's possible. No, don't wait for the ex, as such - this is correct. Live your life, be as happy as you can be see what develops. "And lastly, in my years working in this field I have many times come across this myth/phenomenon that when you start dating someone new, THAT is when the ex starts to come back.... I am here to dispel that myth...*" - We shall see my friend. We shall see.. I like that your grateful lists have made a welcome return. "And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I have my wonderful, wonderful ENA family to help me through whatever comes up." - That you certainly do.. I hope you get everything you want out of tomorrow's hook up buddy.. Just ensure she doesn't bring any of her furry friends with her!!! S x Carus I agree... I am 43 and my new GF is 34....KABOOM!!!!!!! She told me that she finds me super attractive and sexy.... Plus the sex is great!!!!!!!!! Always a bonus!!!! Go for it brother :) Mikey Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Yeh well don't be too jealous Makeit*...I don't know about others but I'm not in a new relationship yet by any means and any sort of rejection at this point can bring on the pain...Little bit more about that later though.... Sorry guys but she texted me to say her car broke down so she wouldn't make it to the beach today....I still went and it was absolutely gorgeous! I've really stumbled across a gem there because aside from the fact it's a nice beach, there is always different hot girls there! For instance, remember Ripley who I first met there? lol So it's a great place to continue brushing up on the skills....When I was telling my brother about walking up and saying Hi to Jessica he says "How do you do that? I just couldn't do it!"....I told him "Well you could actually"......But I know what he means...I've always been confident but it does get shattered after my relationships get trashed. But anyway, I didn't get to see her and in her text she said hopefully we would speak later, but I didn't hear from her again for the rest of the day.... That's cool....I find myself not actually being too bothered by it and thinking about the ex too much, but I haven't gone spiraling backwards either. I'll see if she gets in contact over the next couple of days..... Oh come on mate...It's not that bad...The kangaroos are much more ferocious ;-) And yeh I did reflect on what sort of person keeps snakes and spiders as pets..?? Hmmmm..... Oh you'll see alright....lol I'll send you my resume' of all my other breakups....this one is looking prettttty similar* Yes I like that....Normally I update my journal after work before bed so it's a good last thing to be thinking about when you go to sleep. I believe gratefulness is a fantastic tool to have in our Healing Tool Belt. Thankyou Brother* Oh God yes...! It's worth it's weight in gold on that fact alone..! I still think about my ex throughout the day, every day....but the associated pain is subsiding...I'm also getting better at getting rid of the thoughts, images and flashbacks using the Swiping Technique (Patent Pending lol)...I really do suggest start putting it into practice* I was actually reflecting today that when I was with Jessica on that day, I wasn't thinking about my ex really at all, so that shows that it has potential I guess and also shows how far down the road I've come. You go sit over there>> with Sputnik* and SweetGirl*.....:cool: lol S'funny though...I would think that it's because I did tell her how I felt that she's now taken the power and run off with it no...? As a hypothetical, you are right about that....The interest I have in Jess has certainly taken away any rush to get back with my ex if that were ever to happen* And that feels gooood! Always nice to 'see' you Morello* That's great Dave* ~ How's that going by the way...? I'm not worried about what she thinks about it, I'm worried I'll wake up with one of the damn things snoozing on my face!! I'm not so worried about them biting me. They'll have to catch me first! haha! Not negative at all Buddy* In fact, it's so great that you have this awareness now...And yes I'm aware of it too.... I wanted to say though as I mentioned above, when she didn't get back to me that first day, yes I went down quite a bit. Even cried I think...? But today, not so much....So perhaps this situation is actually helping me in some way regardless of where it goes....If it goes nowhere, perhaps I won't feel too bad about it after all....We shall see* Thanks Darling. That's nice to hear....Thing is though, because I don't look anywhere near 48 I'm not sure how old she thinks I am....lol I'm sure it will come up at some early point....and then we'll see....Certainly doesn't bother me ;-) I wouldn't say it's the last hurdle but yes, it's really helped, even if it goes no further..... The Youniverse is just prepping you SweetGirl* ~ It won't be long...and you know how I know that? Because you are opening yourself up to the opportunity.... What I mean by that is, a lot of people who get very hurt in a breakup will close down and say things like "I'll never get into another relationship again!" or "I'll never love again"....and with that mantra, that's usually how it turns out.... Because I've been through about 180 heartbreaking breakups now, I'm fairly certain there'll be someone else soon enough....* Maybe tomorrow* GNite Y'all....Thanks again for hangin' out at my place* Carus* Today I am Grateful for: A) My fingers. B) My toes. C) The fact I'm not in jail or hospital. Carus I have to agree somewhat with Sputnik... When you start dating someone new... The EX will pop up somehow.... Up until now, my EX was using a mutual friend as a spying tool for her.... So I played a test (I know...cruel) but worth the verification to make sure it was happening... So I told the mutual friend that I am in a new relationship after he kept on probing me... (obvious) as I am not stupid and I know he was keeping her informed... I also mentioned that my GF was coming over to spend the night... Yup someone must have driven by my house to confirm as all of the sudden the little informant disappeared... I haven't seen a single probing text from him... Trust me...My EX knows that I am involved again.... Only matter of time before she strikes... And knowing her.... She pulled the spy off the battle field... And now she is stewing and waiting.... I feel it.....My intuition says that it is coming my way.... Just when? That is the question.... Take care buddy :) Mikey Link to comment
Makeit Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Carus. Well I think you know that deep down you know if youre ready to out effort in a new relationship or not. Id trust your gut whatever its making you feel and go with that. Dont force anything one way or the other. Do what feels right for your current emotional state. Wishing you a blanket of happiness that the universe has in store for you. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Dear Ex. I miss you beyond words....beyond breath... But I guess the diamonds weren't real diamonds and the gold wasn't real gold. Love Carus* Aww Carus! I'm crying over here! This is so touching and beautiful. Your ex had what we women dream of, she's just letting it fade away and she's so stupid(sorry, that's not nice, but I would give anything to be loved the way you love her) Nuff said lol. Your words down below are very touching also. Yes, I'm open to the opportunity, just not with this guy that's far away because it will be too hard to maintain and no way will I set myself up for more heartache. My life is tied up right now, when my daughter is older I can be more free, but right now she's my priority(no matter how unbelievably handsome this guy is! Younger than me too by 5 years, mmmmm. That's new for me). I like how you said the " YOUniverse". You need to coin that sucker! Haha :) We all have our YOUniverse, it's up to each of us to grab all the opportunity it presents. Love you buddy, hang in there. There's more hotties to be found on the beach. Just you wait and see Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Carus I agree... I am 43 and my new GF is 34....KABOOM!!!!!!! She told me that she finds me super attractive and sexy.... Plus the sex is great!!!!!!!!! Always a bonus!!!! Go for it brother :) Mikey Ahhhhhhhhh...........reminds me of my ex ......again!!! I need to get the hell off this forum lol I am younger, he is older(he was 51/52 when we were together) dumb idiot had an issue with it, like "you look like your 25 and I'm just the old guy". My god he wasn't! Super hot and sexy and didn't look a damn day over 40 that fool! Ughhhh I hate him!!!! I wish you much happiness in your relationship! Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Ahhhhhhhhh...........reminds me of my ex ......again!!! I need to get the hell off this forum lol I am younger, he is older(he was 51/52 when we were together) dumb idiot had an issue with it, like "you look like your 25 and I'm just the old guy". My god he wasn't! Super hot and sexy and didn't look a damn day over 40 that fool! Ughhhh I hate him!!!! I wish you much happiness in your relationship! Thanks Sweetgirl.... You always will be my buddy :) You helped me a lot on here also....:) Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Aww Carus! I'm crying over here! This is so touching and beautiful. Your ex had what we women dream of, she's just letting it fade away and she's so stupid(sorry, that's not nice, but I would give anything to be loved the way you love her) Nuff said lol. Your words down below are very touching also. Yes, I'm open to the opportunity, just not with this guy that's far away because it will be too hard to maintain and no way will I set myself up for more heartache. My life is tied up right now, when my daughter is older I can be more free, but right now she's my priority(no matter how unbelievably handsome this guy is! Younger than me too by 5 years, mmmmm. That's new for me). I like how you said the " YOUniverse". You need to coin that sucker! Haha :) We all have our YOUniverse, it's up to each of us to grab all the opportunity it presents. Love you buddy, hang in there. There's more hotties to be found on the beach. Just you wait and see I say... Carus makes a new "YUOniverse" T shirt business :) What do you think Sweetgirl? Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 I say... Carus makes a new "YUOniverse" T shirt business :) What do you think Sweetgirl? Yes! He can print towels like that too, and sell them on the beach!!!! Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Hey Carus, I hope work was manageable and the day went well! Did you manage to meet any more Ripleys on your lucky beach? Any more news from Jessica? Am struggling to keep up Romeo! ;) "Today I am Grateful for: A) My fingers. B) My toes. C) The fact I'm not in jail or hospital." What else could you possibly need? ;p The short "letter" to your ex is simple, touching and beautiful. I think I am learning to keep the pain associated with the ex as my friend. It would only become my foe if I let it, or do anything about it! Your swiping method is working.. I find I can sometimes control my thoughts better. I know it's completely irrational, but I have always hated spiders.. even the smaller harmless ones. Would rather have a crocodile under my bed! lol We should definitely look at getting the patent sorted on all this *Carus*inspired merchandising we could offer all those heartbroken fellows.. Looking forward to your next installment brother. S x Link to comment
Carus Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 I'm glad you are incorporating the Swiping Technique. I find it helps and we'll try anything at this stage right? I mean, we are literally fighting for our lives here* I'm sure the Youniverse merch is already out there but perhaps a line of 'Carus Quotes TShirts and beach towels' might do ok lol No I haven't talked to any more girls at the beach and I've pretty much blown it with Jessica already lol She said she would call last night and didn't. I woke up this morning and the Pain Monster was playing the drums on my head...! So what did I do? I sent her a text didn't I...! Just said good morning Miss Jessica, hope you got your car fixed. And what reply did I get? Nothin'....... So after beating myself over the head for a while, I kinda tell myself one text like that is really nothing and if that's all it takes to make her run away then so be it. Who am I? Perfect Pete...!? I'm at work now. It's been a heavy day emotionally and I'm so weary. I'm weary of the whole thing... Still, now that both those women have gone, I can back on the path of real healing* I was hoping to take Jess to Sound Healing on Friday but I'll still look forward to going by myself* Hope everyone is doing ok* Carus* Link to comment
Ian4996 Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 That's a shame Carus.................she might just be slow replying though. I do think though, regardless of whether she replies or doesn't reply, you need to place less importance on her at this very early stage. She might be put off if she senses that she's too important to you when you've only met her once. In the final month or so with the last girl I was dating, I read this article https://www.developattraction.com/girlfriend-doesnt-respond/ Even though things didn't work out in the end, I found it helped me massively to not become needy and desperate when I didn't hear from her for a while. Might be worth a read if you find yourself stressing at not having had a response a few hours after you've texted or called. Link to comment
Makeit Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Hey buddy. Sorry to hear about Jessica but without coming across too blunt I think you need to take a step back and really ask yourself if she really was what you want/need right now. I feel like the ultimate goal here is to heal from your ex and put yourself in line for a new relationship or just a new path of happiness in general with or without someone. I feel like the lingering effects of your ex would bleed into your new relationship setting it up for more pain. Just my opinion. I really feel healing is our number one priority right now. Link to comment
Carus Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 Thankyou so much guys for your replies...You are both very right..... I am definitely bouncing around emotionally too much and need to get more grounded... So if anything, Jessica is helping me with that lol I'll take a look at that article Ian*, thanks.... Not much to report today. Very rough morning as usual but pulled up over the day. Work was good. Beach tomorrow* Thanks Again Carus* ...oh and by the way, she actually did reply albeit much later in the night... :wink: Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Sounds like it's a slow- go with Jessica. I hate hearing you torturevyourselfvwith her late replies :( I hope some other great woman crosses your path who is a little more attentive. You said she isn't working, so what takes her so long? I don't like her!!!!! Lol (that's my protective side coming thru) On that note, I would go a couple days without contacting my ex the first month that we knew each other. One day, after talking, he text me "so when will I hear from you? I don't want to lose you for a bunch of days again." That melted my heart. I knew he was all in at that point. And we had a great year, until the very end. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.