Ex found out about a certain part of my past and dumped me

[CBC2000]

I did forget to mention that. Please blot out your SSN, date of birth, and any account numbers before presenting proof. Having a profile pic being sent around tarnishing your name is bad. Having your account number as a pic being sent around will easily create an identity theft problem and will be worse.

 

If you were employed by the site then I could see them sending a W2. Either case though, any earnings should show up on your taxes as taxable income, W2 or not.

Also, Chase bank will allow you to print your history online for maybe 3 years, but if you go to their office they do have access to more history and can print even more. This may be true for your bank as well so if you can't print from online, please visit a branch.

 

Once you have these records available you should explain to this ex and the ex before this one. If these guys are showing your profile pic to any new guy you meet thinking they're doing the right thing then they should stop after proof. If they can forward the proof to anyone else they know that's doing the same thing to you then even better.

 

Hopefully you're life will get better after this. Sorry again you went through this, but I'm glad you did retain some e-mails and have a path out of this.

 

Thanks hun, I miss him so much after like 4 days of not speaking; however, the more I think about this the more I do not feel like proving myself to him anymore. He blocked me on Whatsapp on Sunday and then unblocked me yesterday. I feel like I've proved my self enough these past few months and trying to prove something to him after the way he treated me is pointless and a waste of my energy. If he cares to really get the full story he will call me, after all he has my phone number and all of my social media accounts. At this point I'm not strong enough to get rejected if I try, but I will get that info just in case he ever calls me again

[Wiseman2]

She should not contact him, chase him nor present 'proof' to him since she's not on trial for anything.

 

She should never under any circumstances present to future dates "proof" of innocence which basically Screams "I'm guilty of something!!"

 

The smartest thing to do is getting all that stuff erased from search engines. It costs money but there are Online Reputation Management Services that are available.

 

In fact, here's the info 7901-best-reputation-management-services.html"]Online Reputation Management Services[/url]

 

Once you have these records available you should explain to this ex and the ex before this one.

[CBC2000]

She should not contact him, chase him nor present 'proof' to him since she's not on trial for anything.

 

She should never under any circumstances present to future dates "proof" of innocence which basically Screams "I'm guilty of something!!"

 

The smarted thing is getting all that stuff erased from search engines. It costs money but there are Online Reputation Management Services that are available.

 

In fact, here's the info 7901-best-reputation-management-services.html"]Online Reputation Management Services[/url]

 

Yes thank you, after a few days of really thinking I honestly don't care to prove anything to anyone who treated me the way he did. This stuff is not even on the internet anymore, it's been off the net for 3 years. The person who sent it to him went through his or her camera roll digging for this in an attempt to destroy my relationship (and they succeeded). It's been 4 days since no contact and I will continue. I don't owe him anything, he kicked me out of his house and that was the ultimate slap in the face in my eyes

[abitbroken]

From now on, you have to be honest about this with people going forward. You can frame it any way you like - but you need to be upfront about it and if you have the option to control the story instead of rumor mongers, you are ahead. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I were in a relationship with someone, items like this would make me believe there were cracks in their character or what else they must be hiding. Unfortunately, unlike a classmate of mine who stripped for a short time in school before there were smartphones, etc, people's mistakes often haunt them longer.

 

There are tons of people who are in tight spots financially, and some people strip, pose for explicit photos or prostitute themselves while on the other hand, another person may try to arrange a hardship payment plan for the traffic tickets, walk into the first door they see with a help wanted sign, collect cans, sell off a few of their belongings, etc, and do without. Life isn't always a quick fix and if someone offers you the prospect that you will suddenly have thousands within days, its too good to be true.

 

A guy could think that you are hiding more, that you are gullible and easily swayed since you believed your friend, etc, or whatever. But getting the shock of finding out the way he did would cause a bigger reaction than if you had told him upfront and he decide to part amicably with no hard feelings because he wasn't down with that, or he would stay because he heard it from you and understood what went on.

 

Honestly, I would also separate myself from this "group" of friends that also insists on continuing to spread the info-------------

[CBC2000]

From now on, you have to be honest about this with people going forward. You can frame it any way you like - but you need to be upfront about it and if you have the option to control the story instead of rumor mongers, you are ahead. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I were in a relationship with someone, items like this would make me believe there were cracks in their character or what else they must be hiding. Unfortunately, unlike a classmate of mine who stripped for a short time in school before there were smartphones, etc, people's mistakes often haunt them longer.

 

There are tons of people who are in tight spots financially, and some people strip, pose for explicit photos or prostitute themselves while on the other hand, another person may try to arrange a hardship payment plan for the traffic tickets, walk into the first door they see with a help wanted sign, collect cans, sell off a few of their belongings, etc, and do without. Life isn't always a quick fix and if someone offers you the prospect that you will suddenly have thousands within days, its too good to be true.

 

A guy could think that you are hiding more, that you are gullible and easily swayed since you believed your friend, etc, or whatever. But getting the shock of finding out the way he did would cause a bigger reaction than if you had told him upfront and he decide to part amicably with no hard feelings because he wasn't down with that, or he would stay because he heard it from you and understood what went on.

 

Honestly, I would also separate myself from this "group" of friends that also insists on continuing to spread the info-------------

 

Thank you I separated from these friends back in 2015, because this was not the life that I wanted to live

[Hollyj]

Thank you so much for your input, this account was deleted almost 3 years ago, the person who sent it to him went dug up something from the way back then with the intention to ruin my relationship. I didn't know I can take this person to caught, I will definitely speak to a lawyer

 

What did she do that was illegal? I can't see anything.

 

How in the world does someone get so many tickets????

[Mari]

Yes thank you, after a few days of really thinking I honestly don't care to prove anything to anyone who treated me the way he did. This stuff is not even on the internet anymore, it's been off the net for 3 years. The person who sent it to him went through his or her camera roll digging for this in an attempt to destroy my relationship (and they succeeded). It's been 4 days since no contact and I will continue. I don't owe him anything, he kicked me out of his house and that was the ultimate slap in the face in my eyes

 

I agree that if you did relationship math on how much you did vs what he's doing then it's fine to not talk to him. But that pic that keeps being sent around from ex to ex is most likely labeling you as a disease carrying gold digger. So his view of what you're doing is like what a girl sees when she thinks the guy is a disease carrying player. They may think all of it was an act and what you're really after is money, and may also feel hurt and used.

 

The second you get another guy for any length of time and that guy looks decent, this ex may look you up through the internet and help your new guy out by sending him that screenshot with the title "gold digger". Even if your new guy questions it, this ex will say he fell victim to you and he will have your other ex to back him up.

 

So I recommend not comparing how much effort you put into this relationship and whether it's worth it. Talk to both of them, show them proof so they don't have to trust you, just so you can shut down this cycle of a 3 year old screenshot ruining your life.

 

Cause even if you move on these two think you did them wrong and will try to stop a new guy from entering your life.

[Darthzak]

The past is the past why did she make it such an issue.

[CBC2000]

He is making a huge deal because someone told him before I got the chance to. He feels like I was not transparent with him

[thornz]

J.man I told this man that there is a lot about my past that he didn't know. With the money thing in these past two months that we've been dating, I never asked him for a single thing. I have taken him out on dates just as he has been taking me out, every Sunday I go to the grocery store buy food for him and make him his weekly meal preps b/c he really likes working out. On his birthday which was last month, I went out and bought him a gift that he wanted and he was shocked b/c he thought no one would spend that much money on him because no one had ever done that for him. I never got money from the men on that website b/c I couldn't stomach the thought of going through with it. I have shown this man that I care for him in more ways than one, I even do his laundry. One day he will realize this

 

Has it occurred to you that he might now consider you have bought this gift using money from your sugar daddies?

 

I don't think the advice (when dating) to conduct yourself in a way that would disprove you might be a gold digger is good. You should conduct yourself in exactly the same manner that you would have prior to this idiot trying to cause you problems, otherwise you are not being authentic.

 

Be yourself and find somebody who is happy to hear your version of events instead of taking the word of strangers and confronting you in a disturbing way. TBH this guy sounds like quite a douche to me and perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

[Jibralta]

fast forward to now, my current boyfriend (recent ex) went to a party the other day, and someone sent those same exact screen shots from three years ago to him, and he called me and asked I could sleep over his house so we could go to church together the next day and I said yes, I packed up my clothes and he came to pick me up, when we got to his home he pulled out the screen shots and asked me about them. I was mortified when I saw them, I literally wanted to run away, but I sat down and told him the truth. He got pissed off and asked me to get my clothes and leave his house, he said I hurt him b/c I was not transparent with him and he felt like I betrayed him. I cried and begged for him to hear me out, but at this point he was too angry to hear about anything i had to say. I got myself home and I cried the entire night and I have been crying my eyes out ever since that day, I have not spoken to him ever since then b/c my aunt told me to let him call me when he's ready, but I'm scared that I lost him for good. I did not want to hurt this guy and I have been nothing but faithful to him this entire time. I know we only dated for 2 months, but he was becoming my best friend. HI have a heavy urge to call him and text him, but my family has been advising me to not do that. What should I do please? I do not want to lose this guy. I fear that he will never speak to me again.

 

What a jerk.

 

Don't call him. He's not the judge and jury over you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. But you may need to find a new group of people to hang out with because these people suck.

[CBC2000]

Has it occurred to you that he might now consider you have bought this gift using money from your sugar daddies?

 

I don't think the advice (when dating) to conduct yourself in a way that would disprove you might be a gold digger is good. You should conduct yourself in exactly the same manner that you would have prior to this idiot trying to cause you problems, otherwise you are not being authentic.

 

Be yourself and find somebody who is happy to hear your version of events instead of taking the word of strangers and confronting you in a disturbing way. TBH this guy sounds like quite a douche to me and perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

 

I never looked at it that way, I wouldn't even be in a relationship with him if I had a sugar daddy. I was myself with him and every thing that I did came from the heart. I can't lie and say this is still not hurting me, but maybe it is a blessing in disguise

[CBC2000]

What a jerk.

 

Don't call him. He's not the judge and jury over you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. But you may need to find a new group of people to hang out with because these people suck.

 

I stopped hanging out with those group of friends back in 2015. I won't call him as much as it hurts.

[ParisPaulette]

So someone feels they have the right to judge you and your past, true or not? Tell this guy to step off, that it was a moment in your past you aren't proud of, that you never went through with it, but if he'd rather believe other people over you then that's his prerogative and he can get out of your sight and life and never come back.

 

Then you block and delete him. And the next time you're dating a guy warn them that someone from your past has stalked you (because she did) and has manufactured false information about you that she enjoys spreading near and far that people then think is the truth. Tell him someone has been slandering you and you're ready to file suits and restraining orders and let them know this is the case. And really if I were you I'd look into that, because it is absolutely nobody's business what you did or didn't do in your past.

 

People can judge all they want, but until someone is on the street facing homelessness yeah it's really easy to say to others, "You're a bad person, because I would never have done that!" When come on, let's face it, most of us with our backs against the wall needing to survive would do a lot of things we'd normally not be okay with. So people who judge you based on a one-time thing and a (expletive) who should have a slander suit slapped across her face are not in any position to judge you.

 

Honestly, this is no one's business even if you did go through with it. But by the same token if someone wants to make it the people you're dating's business, and they choose to believe that instead of asking you what the story is then listening and believing you, that's their damage, not yours.

 

Also nice touch from someone who is a churchgoer. Jesus was about forgiveness, remember he wouldn't let Mary Magdalene be stoned to death. Something about "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" and no one could do it. That's your example and that's the type of people to look up to. Because the fact is this guy is currently guilty of judging you and not getting the entire truth, the girl and others are guilty of slandering you and not getting the truth, and so far as I can tell everyone in this little charade is definitely guilty, guilty, guilty of thinking they are better than someone again without getting at the truth.

 

Plus I'm just going to say this and let it stand. I have never felt that the women and men who took money for sex, whatever their reasons for that, were themselves bad people. Those who profit off of their misery or hard times, those who exploit them, those who judge them, yeah those people are in my eyes far greater sinners. Because you can't tell me a single one of those people wouldn't do the same or far worse (actually probably a whole lot worse) if their backs were against a wall.

 

So as much as it hurts this guy just never really had your back. It's time to block and delete everyone who has or had anything to do with that era of your life, and yeah maybe it's time to at least talk to an attorney or look into what if any legal recourse you might have to stop the rumors and pages showing your account there. It is a form of revenge porn, definitely. It's not acceptable that this person or persons keep on after you about it.

 

But really, his judging you is simply not acceptable. No one's is.

 

P.S. I'm not having a go at religion, I'm having a go at this guy who was taking you to church, but apparently missed the lessons on tolerance, love and not judging others. Those are lessons we should all learn regardless of our religious or non-religious views.