Unanimous1492 Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 So me and my grandfather have been planning a trip for a few years now, each year we plan to go and the last two years I cancelled because of gf's prom and gf's high school graduation. This year I said I was definitely going but the event we're traveling out for is falling on our 3 year (of dating) anniversary. I could be back as soon as the day after our anniversary and my grandfather will be so disapointed if I skip out again... But so will my girlfriend if I skip on her. What should I do? If you were in my gf's position would you be mad if I went on the trip and took her out a day late? Honestly? I know she will be extremely upset but should she be? I need a third party's opinion... Thanks!
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 No other time you can visit your grandfather?
Seraphim Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Go on that trip with grandpa they are not around forever. If your girlfriend is a good girlfriend she'll still be there .
j.man Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 You can easily celebrate your anniversary another day. Coordinated trips are much more complicated. Any sensible partner would understand.
Seraphim Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Personally I think she should get over it. You already missed two chances with Grandpa for her prom and grad. Like I said grandparents don't live forever and you will definitely miss them when they are gone.
Unanimous1492 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Posted February 21, 2017 I live with my grandfather but we've been dreaming of road tripping to follow an event associated with our hobby, the hobby is literally what my grandfather lives for and to me it's my primary source of income and a favorite passtime... This event just happens to fall on the worst possible weekend every year
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Promise her a romantic weekend the following weekend. What's the hobby?I live with my grandfather but we've been dreaming of road tripping to follow an event associated with our hobby, the hobby is literally what my grandfather lives for and to me it's my primary source of income and a favorite passtime... This event just happens to fall on the worst possible weekend every year
itsallgrand Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Go with your gramps. That's my take. Nope, it's not reasonable for her to make a stink out of it. She might , but that would be pretty selfish on her part.
Unanimous1492 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 I sell antiques (like old martorcycle and transportation stuff etc) and my grandfather is a huge collector. The event is a 2 day swap meet/show type thing we've always wanted to go to
Dahl Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 You only get one grandpa. Well, you know what I mean. But truly, I hope you are able to go with your grandfather. Good luck, whatever you decide.
Jinsky Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I am a woman. If my boyfriend was in your shoes, I'd tell him to go with his grandpa. Anniversary doesn't always have to be celebrated on the exact day of. I figure it's easier to change the anniversary time than to plan important roadtrip with your grandpa, especially if you've skipped the trips because of your girlfriend before. I respect a man who'd care for his family. If your girlfriend is a good partner, I think she should respect you and your family; and hopefully your decision.
Unanimous1492 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 Thanks for all the advice! I'll be talking to her tonight and we'll see how it goes.
Wiseman2 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Cool. Enjoy.I sell antiques (like old martorcycle and transportation stuff etc) and my grandfather is a huge collector. The event is a 2 day swap meet/show type thing we've always wanted to go to ]
Unanimous1492 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 Good luck! I took her for a drive and talked to her... She cursed me out and said if I wasn't there on our anniversary she wouldn't be there anymore... I followed her inside to try to talk and she made a big scene in front of her parents. I don't know what to do. I do love her and I've been with her three years
Seraphim Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I took her for a drive and talked to her... She cursed me out and said if I wasn't there on our anniversary she wouldn't be there anymore... I followed her inside to try to talk and she made a big scene in front of her parents. I don't know what to do. I do love her and I've been with her three years She is not worth your time. Really. She sounds like a spoiled princess .
Unanimous1492 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 I need advise I have no idea what to do. I honestly knew she would react like that but I was so so so hoping she wouldn't... She thinks I always put everything else before her but I really don't think I do. She was with me when I found out the date of the event (probably should have said this) and she got all on edge and said "your not going are you" and I said I wouldn't but tonight is when I tried to tell my grandfather and I just couldn't do it he is so excited to finally go... In the car I said "how would you feel if I took you out on the 18th (day after anniversary) and we went somplace really really nice" and she just started crying and then a few minutes later lashed out...
Unanimous1492 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 I've been with her 3 years... I moved all the way across country to be closer to her... I don't know what to do, I love her... I want to fix this but I can't just roll over cause she cursed at me... I can't do that the rest of my life
Seraphim Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I would tell her goodbye because she cares about no one but herself.
RainyCoast Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 grandpa trumps spoiled beotch any time. don't budge, don't call, don't text. how old are you btw? young if she just graduated from high school last year. so not like it's your 20th marriage anniversary. most couples don't even celebrate their "dating/relationship" anniversary, and many don't even remember the date they started as a couple. seriously, you are cancelling on your grandpa year after year for something that's not even important, and can easily be celebrated some other day if it means so much to her. what was she expecting, to skip again, and discard the fact grandpa may not be around when the next opportunity comes along?
Ms Darcy Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Go with grandpa. He's around and that's something many of us don't have.
RainyCoast Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 and we went somplace really really nice" and she just started crying and then a few minutes later lashed out... seriously dude. i cried and screamed (not at my partner) in the car when i found out my mother was terminal, i cried and screamed during untreated ptsd flashbacks. that level of drama justifies that kind of response, and i'm sure some would say not even that. rescheduling a non-event is nothing. nothing. she's beyond spoiled and entitled and selfish and kinda psycho by the sounds of it.
notalady Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I took her for a drive and talked to her... She cursed me out and said if I wasn't there on our anniversary she wouldn't be there anymore... I followed her inside to try to talk and she made a big scene in front of her parents. I don't know what to do. I do love her and I've been with her three years She sounds totally selfish. And not at all reasonable. It's her way or the highway. I can't believe she is making you choose between her and quality time with your grandpa (ie if you go, I won't be here). That's unbelievable. Someone who would say something like that isn't the right person for you. This is who she is. She's shown you her true colour (and I dare say after three years, you already knew this very clearly). Either you can live for the rest of your life with someone like this or you decide that the sane thing to do is to break up. How much you've invested in this relationship, that is, moving for her, and being together for 3 years, or even being emotionally invested ("I love her so much") is irrelevant in considering whether you should leave or stay. Looking backwards isn't going to get you anywhere, looking forward, what you want in your life, what kind of person do you want to spend your life with, is what you should be thinking about. By the way you both sound young (mentioning of prom and graduation), there is plenty of time ahead of you, girlfriends come and go (especially at that age), but you only get one grandpa (whom you seem very close to) and he won't be around forever. Think about it, you will regret not having done the things you want to do with grandpa one day when he's gone, and any of the excuses you allowed to stop you from doing these things will seem pointless and trivial at that point. You'll question yourself why you ever let such a silly thing stop you from spending quality time with grandpa when you had the chance.
itsallgrand Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 You don't have to do much of anything, just stand your ground and go if that is what you want to do. Let her throw her tantrum and you go have a good time. Whatever you do, don't let this ruin your excitement and enjoyment of your trip! I do think she is spoiled and this is about power tripping you, as you've said you knew this was coming. Cursing, crying, theatening to leave you if you don't comply... None of that is good, and it's way out of proportion to you wanting a few days with your grandpa. Not all girls/women are this way... You fell in love with a girl who frankly isn't ready to be a girlfriend to anyone, because she thinks it's always about her all the time. You know that's not how it goes, and you'd be better off and happier with someone who knows that too. Wonder what your grandpa would say !
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