3 year anniversary or family trip :S

[MsCodeMonkey]

Some things even though they're associated with a certain day have to be flexible. Events and cons and such aren't. They happen when they happen, and there's nothing you can do about that.

 

Part of being in relationships whether friendship, family, or love is being flexible. For instance, I have a board game con I've gone to for years over Memorial Day weekend. My boyfriend of now two years has a bday that happens during it. I made it work last year by seeing him the morning of his bday with breakfast and cake and having a separate party a different day before I left, but this year his bday is on the Saturday, and I'll be gone. I felt bad, but he was really cool about it. Basically he said(and I agree) the date itself doesn't matter. What matters is me wanting to celebrate it with him whatever day that happens. So ya both the event and your grandpa are important, and it's not that you're refusing to celebrate with her. I understand that she's probably disappointed. I would be a bit disappointed as well to be honest, but I think you should go and that she should support it.

 

Have you considered inviting her along? Sometimes that makes all the difference and then you'd be there for the anniversary itself and your grandpa can join in the celebration which I'd be thrilled for personally if my boyfriends grandpa could. Not if she's gonna be super passive aggressive if she goes though XD that's the worst

[catfeeder]

the last two years I cancelled because of gf's prom and gf's high school graduation.

 

I'd explain this ^^^ and tell GF that you're celebrating your 3rd anniversary BEFORE your trip with grandpa. If she won't understand, then I'd skip the anniversary and use the time with grandpa to reconsider whether revolving your life around this GF is stunting your ability to mature.

[ParisPaulette]

Go on the trip. Every year that passes by with your grandfather is one more year of, bluntly speaking, blessed time that can be gone in the blink of an eye. And I'm not talking death necessarily, illnesses, strokes, mental issues, you name it, they can happen. I will forever be grateful that I put everything on hold about six years ago to go take a trip with my mom. As it turns out it was the last trip and the last time we were together, fully with her aware and able to enjoy the trip, before her descent into Alzheimers.

 

I nearly didn't go, thinking yeah some other time, I'm too busy right now. But I decided to go and am forever grateful for that. I'd have ended up hating myself if I hadn't gone.

 

I get prom and graduation, but a dating anniversary pales in comparison with time spent with an elderly loved one. You will not get that time back and his future, just by sheer stint of time alone, is limited well beyond that of you and your girlfriend. I hate typing those words, really I do. But right now you don't get how quickly it can all be gone. Just go. I am dead serious about this.

 

It's something I don't think one understands fully until you're on the other side looking back at all the times you could have done something with a loved one and now you can't. Ever again. Just go.

 

P.S. I just saw her reaction to your going on the trip. Totally selfish woman, seriously you do not want to spend your life with someone who wants to control you that badly and has so little regard for you or your family. She just told you that your grandfather and you don't matter, only her. Is THAT the person you want to spend the rest of your life with????

 

Please just go with your grandfather. I'm telling you, you will end up hating her and resenting her anyways if you let her keep making you miss out on other things with other people. Really, you need to wake up. She is being massively selfish and controlling. Tell her fine, it's done and walk away now. I beg you, not just for your sake, but that of your family. Do they mean nothing to you?