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About MsCodeMonkey

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  • Birthday 10/26/1989
  1. My fiance and I got engaged in February of last year before lockdowns after five years together. We had set the date to March of 2021, and I honestly thought things would be so much better by now. I thought I'd be able to have a normal wedding. Well, my town in Texas has rapidly climbed in hospitalization rate up to 31% and so many people either refuse to wear masks entirely or wear them really improperly. In September, my fiance and I and my mom and dad caught covid. He ended up taking a turn for the worse, and he was in the ICU for 7 days and in the hospital a total of 10. Thankfully, he pul
  2. Thank you :) I’m usually pretty good about making a Venn diagram of controllables and uncontrollable, but with this one I felt on shaky ground as I had had a big part in both parties. When I feel on shaky moral ground I think of how I’ll feel about myself at the end of the day, and I wasn’t sure if I felt okay about either situation. But you’re right I only get to decide for me and trying to do anything else is going to just make me tired. Stupid and cheerful :) I like that. Thank you to everyone else as well for your time and words of advice.
  3. So I've weathered a lot of falling outs among friends over the years, and I've always had the policy that I invite both people to the parties that I throw if I'd normally invite them. If one or both choose not to come, so be it. Then, I'd hang out with them one on one if we would normally do so, and I try as much as possible to avoid getting involved in conflicts that don't involve me. I am deeply uncomfortable at the thought of purposely ostracizing someone as I know how much that would hurt me, and I would never want to be a bully in any way. So with this in mind, I have two people who h
  4. Nah I honestly don’t blame him for his medical Issues. Like it puts a strain on me to not be able to plan things on weekdays, but it’s not his fault that he can’t sleep.
  5. He lays down and takes his meds at 7, and then he usually falls asleep by like 9/9:30 so about 8-9 hours on weekdays. Weekends he has been trying to stay up later but he sleeps in the next day too much. He’ll takes his meds by like 9 pm on Friday and Saturday, so he’s asleep by 11. So sleeping til noon is about 13 hours of sleep.
  6. He works from 7-4 Monday- Friday. O.o; He is definitely not living off of me. Heaven forbid. I’m not scared of being alone. I just did some soul searching, and I’m not willing to break up. I’ll give it at least until the 3 year mark and talk to him about some things in the mean time.
  7. I did decide to reply to this one haha. He is a bit of a man child in that he is easily overset by things around him though he doesn’t project that upset on me. He does most of the cooking and he does help clean. It’s just that he’s always planning to do whatever task not at the moment but at some future time. He doesn’t spend ALL his time on his phone. He just has a bad habit of choosing to take his phone out instead of starting a conversation in idle times. I don’t like it. And it’s not that he’s not affectionate. He’s not particularly physically affectionate, but he is very sweet wi
  8. I appreciate everyone having my back, and sorry that I didn’t reply to all of you. I think most of what I would say is covered in my three replies. So for concrete things 1. How do other people regulate irritation? 2. Tips for communication that you use?
  9. My mom’s house burnt down a few weeks Ago and his reaction was what can I do? Should I get a room ready? Like he didn’t even hesitate to offer a temporary home to her. I accidentally got white paint on our wall, and he wasn’t even upset. He just took it in stride. Same thing when we left for somewhere and had to drive back home cause I forgot this or that. We went to a music store to get him a new thing, and he turns to me and asks which he should get cause major purchases effect me too. On Valentine’s Day, we had to rescue my sister cause she’s been involved in a car accident(not
  10. I agree the relationship limbo isn’t sustainable. I’ll give that until March and then he’s gonna have to talk to me about where his head is at. I’m actually more of an ambivert which is hard to express on a forum. I like to be around introverts cause it helps me have a little peace and zen time. So it’s not that our rhythms are completely different it’s that mine fluctuates between fast and slow and his is always slow. Thank you :) I think part of me accepts his quirks and part of me is occasionally driven insane. I kind of think it might be a me problem mixed with a bit of some things
  11. We’ve talked about the affection thing. He usually initiates a hug and a kiss before bed. We hold hands occasionally. I will say he’s a lot taller than me so holding hands while we walk is kind of tough for him. It’s still pretty tough to be the way more touchy feely one though at least when we do get affectionate, he doesn’t stone wall me. He has a doctor for his sleeping disorder and he takes meds to help him fall asleep. The sleeping in on weekend thing I need to talk to him about. Like any later than 10 am is time wasting(imo). And I do feel like there has to be better help that doesn’
  12. So I know that every relationship comes with it’s own set of quirks and trials, but sometimes all the small things bothering me really get to me. First, I do feel that I love my boyfriend though I’ll admit sometimes I want to throw in the towel. Something keeps stopping me. I like that he’s intelligent and rational and creative. He mostly takes my quirks and social whirl ways in stride. He puts up with my cats and has been there 100% when he’s needed. So it’s not that I want to leave him. I just feel so annoyed sometimes. Big things bugging me 1. He has a sleeping disorder so he lays d
  13. I made a list a few years ago, but now after dating my boyfriend for the last 3 years a lot of stuff on my list doesn’t matter. My absolutely non negotiables were: 1. Must have a job. 2. Must have a car(public transport is non existent in my town and I’m never picking someone up for a date ever again) 3. Must not be living off of anyone else. I don’t want to date a couch surfer or a sponge. 4. Must be open minded and able to discuss opinions rationally. 5. Must have an imagination and a sense of humor.
  14. Every person I’ve dated for good or ill was a part of my life. I let Facebook remain as a reflection of the time I posted things, and if someone wants to dig up the past by looking at old photos ok. I don’t untag or delete photos. I also don’t unfriend people. I have my ex on my Facebook as well as his mom and his sister. I’ve never had a really really awful breakup though. I still wouldn’t delete the photos, but I might delete an ex who was truly horrible.
  15. It's not just a girl thing. I've run into this phenomenon with male and female friends and significant others. People like to know that they're welcome at outings even if they wouldn't want to go. They want you to want them there. XD In my opinion, you don't necessarily have to phrase it as a just the two of you thing especially if you don't think she'd be interested. I think it's actually easier to decline if another person is involved so she doesn't imagine you having to see it all alone. I usually invite my boyfriend knowing full well he'll say no to certain things. It goes like thi
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