Unattractive (physically) beating out the attractive (mentally)

[abitbroken]

I find it really ironic that you're talking about being a "wonder/explorer" type while staying in your cocoon of doing absolutely nothing to explore new things and environments. And that's utter nonsense about people not liking to explore. At least they're out there, while you're on ENA instead. (And btw, lots of meetups are intimate sized groups; but you wouldn't know that because you haven't tried.)

 

Anyway, you completely missed the point. If you like to do your own thing so much, and prioritize that over mingling with people and perhaps meeting a lady who would be interested in you and like you in the process, then there's your answer.

 

Hike by yourself, go to the movies by yourself, explore amazing cities by yourself -- and stay single, without a crack at meeting someone. Enjoy your life as a loner in the wild. But then don't blame your singledom on your face.

 

Sounds like that's a good trade-off to you.

 

You do have to MEET UP with new people to start anything.

 

You can't have it all ways. As my dad used to say, **** or get off the pot. You're at that inevitable "bottom of the barrel of lame excuses" point on your thread, Dougie.

 

Do yourself a favor and call yourself out on this crap.

 

LIKE I SAID -- THESE ARE ALL CHOICES YOU MAKE.

 

Preach! Clapping

[Dougie_D]

Cooking is a life skill. You will save tons of money cooking at home and packing a lunch instead of constantly eating out. Your skin will improve and your waistline may shrink if you put down the salty fast food and eat what you make. Not just cooking, but learning to eat right is something every single person should do. Its like the baby steps - you bought a mattress, mom and dad aren't paying all your bills anymore, being able to cook is another step. When you have friends - its nice to have people over and everyone brings a dish or rotate who cooks. Its a great way to meet new people when a friend brings someone new over and its a more mature way to socialize. A lot of women really like the fact, also, when a guy can cook - doesn't have to be French Gourmet - but he can invite her over to a meal he cooked once they get dating.

 

As far as going to the movies - its not about going to the movie, but going to the same movie to have a common thing to talk about and then immediately going for coffee or dessert or a meal to TALK about the movie. There are groups that go out to foreign films or art house films, or something niche, which inspires a lot of discussion. I was part of a movie group and kept in touch for quite awhile.

 

So stop shooting everyone down. Type in your zip code and see what meetup groups are near you and pick one or two to check out. You might be surprised what common interests people have.

 

But I will say I hesitated to post here because your threads usually boil down to you wanting to figure out if you are A type or B type and how to be more funny, less funny, taller or shorter in order to meet women. And again and again - people say find things that make yourself happy - confident people are people other people want to get to know. You are a little behind on the independence from parents thing - but are making strides and catching up = so keep going. Learn to cook! And don't make any more excuses on why you can't possibly meet anyone - friend or for a date.

 

I like plating. I don't like prepping food, buying ingredients, etc.. I'm terrified of the stove/oven because I freak out about heat/fire. What if there is a gas leak?

Plus, I go out to eat because it gives me a reason to get out of the house. I can't spend my entire day at home. I like people watching as well. If I ate at home, why would I ever go out? Same with being at work. I rather go out and buy food then just stuffing my "leftovers" in a fridge. I actually save more money going out. I'm not cooking for 4 people. I would cook for myself. And everything you buy seems to be in bulk. Even sandwhich stuff. I bought spinach the other day, but I threw it out because I forgot I had it.

If you can find things I can make that just lasts a day, (not microwave meals), then I'm down.

[abitbroken]

I like plating. I don't like prepping food, buying ingredients, etc.. I'm terrified of the stove/oven because I freak out about heat/fire. What if there is a gas leak?

Plus, I go out to eat because it gives me a reason to get out of the house. I can't spend my entire day at home. I like people watching as well. If I ate at home, why would I ever go out? Same with being at work. I rather go out and buy food then just stuffing my "leftovers" in a fridge. I actually save more money going out. I'm not cooking for 4 people. I would cook for myself. And everything you buy seems to be in bulk. Even sandwhich stuff. I bought spinach the other day, but I threw it out because I forgot I had it.

If you can find things I can make that just lasts a day, (not microwave meals), then I'm down.

 

Actually, you save more by cooking. If you have spinach - think ahead - eat a salad one day - but maybe bake or cook something with spinach that stays longer. you CAN buy just one onion or one potato. You learn to not let anything go to waste. I made a pot pie that lasted 3 days. A home made pizza lasted 4/5 meals. I made a rice dish (brown rice, veggies, chicken) that lasted two days, then I was tired of it and froze the rest and had 4 more meals out of it later on when I was in the mood for it - so that was 6 meals, and there was a tiny bit left over so I had that little bit as a side dish. I made a pasta dish that I ate for 3 meals, and used the leftover veggies from something else I cooked earlier in the week in the sauce. If you shop right, you can plan meals using some of the same ingredients and use every bit of it. I calculated the dishes I made were $1.25-4 per meal and the 4 was when I made salmon )bought a piece i could divide for three meals and then i had a vegetable with it included in the 4 bucks)

[Dougie_D]

Actually, you save more by cooking. If you have spinach - think ahead - eat a salad one day - but maybe bake or cook something with spinach that stays longer. you CAN buy just one onion or one potato. You learn to not let anything go to waste. I made a pot pie that lasted 3 days. A home made pizza lasted 4/5 meals. I made a rice dish (brown rice, veggies, chicken) that lasted two days, then I was tired of it and froze the rest and had 4 more meals out of it later on when I was in the mood for it - so that was 6 meals, and there was a tiny bit left over so I had that little bit as a side dish. I made a pasta dish that I ate for 3 meals, and used the leftover veggies from something else I cooked earlier in the week in the sauce. If you shop right, you can plan meals using some of the same ingredients and use every bit of it. I calculated the dishes I made were $1.25-4 per meal and the 4 was when I made salmon )bought a piece i could divide for three meals and then i had a vegetable with it included in the 4 bucks)

 

I have roommates. I have the tiniest space in the fridge. I'm NOT looking to make meals that can "last a couple of days". When I had my own fridge space, when I was living by myself, I actually cooked more. Both of my roommates cook stuff and they even LIKE the fact that I don't cook. None of the cooking supplies are mine. All of it is my roommates stuff. Where am I going to put my own cooking ware? My roommates are usually working when I'm home. I don't feel like I have the right to cook with their supplies. I'm very respectful of others. Now if they are home, that's when I have actually made pasta before.

[Hazyillusions]

Better start making active changes.

You don't want to be 36 in the same situation do you.

[Moontiger]

I like plating. I don't like prepping food, buying ingredients, etc.. I'm terrified of the stove/oven because I freak out about heat/fire. What if there is a gas leak?

Plus, I go out to eat because it gives me a reason to get out of the house. I can't spend my entire day at home. I like people watching as well. If I ate at home, why would I ever go out? Same with being at work. I rather go out and buy food then just stuffing my "leftovers" in a fridge. I actually save more money going out. I'm not cooking for 4 people. I would cook for myself. And everything you buy seems to be in bulk. Even sandwhich stuff. I bought spinach the other day, but I threw it out because I forgot I had it.

If you can find things I can make that just lasts a day, (not microwave meals), then I'm down.

 

This is incorrect and imature. Again, as an adult you have to make choices. Which include learning how to cook, not spending a ton of money eating out and find reasons to leave your house aside from going to resturants.

 

Again, you are coming off as a teenager. This is an example of the larger problem.

[Batya33]

When I was single and working 60 plus hours a week I often ate dinner at my office because I had to work late. I did not bring lunch because at the last minute we might get lunch brought in. I did prepare breakfast and I could cook but, like Dougie, it made no sense to buy food that would go bad or spend time cooking. If I had worked a more typical 40-hour week I would have cooked more (and if I needed to do so financially I would have).

I don't think whether he cooks for himself or not is the issue unless it is not allowing him to save to move out on his own (no roommates) or to add to his retirement/savings account. I think there a far bigger fish to fry here.

 

Dougie -if you want to leave your house, you leave and you go to a coffee shop and get a plain coffee or tea or bottled water and sit. I used to do that a lot when I had an infant and had to get out of the house.

[Fudgie]

I am almost certain that him eating out all the time is contributing to his financial issues and weight issue. Cooking is a life skill. Batya went through a time in her life where it didn't make sense to cook as much but I'm positive sue knows how to cook now and does so when it makes sense.

 

See Dougie, this is what we mean by immature outlook. You would save so much by cooking at home and you'd lose weight too. I know because I live alone and don't make much $$. So I have to cook.

 

But your reasons for not doing so? "I don't like buying ingredients. I don't know how to cook. I'm scared of the oven/stove. I want to go out and watch other people eat. I believe erroneously that I save money by eating out all the time."

 

I'm sorry that's a really immature outlook.

[TMifune]

When I was single and working 60 plus hours a week I often ate dinner at my office because I had to work late. I did not bring lunch because at the last minute we might get lunch brought in. I did prepare breakfast and I could cook but, like Dougie, it made no sense to buy food that would go bad or spend time cooking. If I had worked a more typical 40-hour week I would have cooked more (and if I needed to do so financially I would have).

I don't think whether he cooks for himself or not is the issue unless it is not allowing him to save to move out on his own (no roommates) or to add to his retirement/savings account. I think there a far bigger fish to fry here.

 

Dougie -if you want to leave your house, you leave and you go to a coffee shop and get a plain coffee or tea or bottled water and sit. I used to do that a lot when I had an infant and had to get out of the house.

 

Not to mention where do you even find the time to cook when you're working 60 hours a week! I'd actually recommend taking a cooking class if you can find one. I've looked, but the ones around here are either a.) for Culinary Students i.e. expensive and you have to be part of the program....or b.) designed as date-night activities for couples.

[Moontiger]

Try googling "cooking for 1" I've found a ton of great stuff that way. Here's just one resource:

 

Also try a website called Budget Bytes. It breaks down cost per recipe.

[Doc Blaze]

I like plating. I don't like prepping food, buying ingredients, etc.. I'm terrified of the stove/oven because I freak out about heat/fire. What if there is a gas leak?

Plus, I go out to eat because it gives me a reason to get out of the house. I can't spend my entire day at home. I like people watching as well. If I ate at home, why would I ever go out? Same with being at work. I rather go out and buy food then just stuffing my "leftovers" in a fridge. I actually save more money going out. I'm not cooking for 4 people. I would cook for myself. And everything you buy seems to be in bulk. Even sandwhich stuff. I bought spinach the other day, but I threw it out because I forgot I had it.

If you can find things I can make that just lasts a day, (not microwave meals), then I'm down.

 

 

why don't you do your own research and find stuff>?

[notalady]

I've been following this thread and haven't commented. Dougie, all I see from you in this thread is "I can't do this and I can't do that. I don't like to do this and I don't like to do that either. And no I don't want to try that."

 

So what CAN you do and what ARE you willing to try?

 

You have a justification for every single thing you don't want to do or try and there is a hell lot of them. They're all justifications for one thing - close-mindedness.

 

Why aren't you open to trying things (and doing so without having already made up your mind about it beforehand, like the stove is scary)? Why aren't you open to doing things in ways that are not what you're used to (i.e. alone)?

 

You're set in your ways and try to make the world and everyone in it fit with your ways, i.e. This is how I am accept me or don't, and no I'm not making any compromises, and no I'm not willing to try the 100 things you just suggested, I just want a quick and easy way to meet a woman. It is this close-mindedness towards everything that is holding you back.

[Batya33]

Following on Notalady's input - get an empty coffee can or similarly sized can - that is your "I can, Can". You have to put int a slip of paper every day with something you "can" do to take a positive step. Keep it where you can see it every day. When you feel yourself making excuses, reread the papers and/or write a new one. And no it doesn't matter if it seems corny or silly -so do some of your excuses -so at least this will be a silly positive thing.

[Moontiger]

I was thinking about me and my guy. I hate sports but I watch them with him, he had never read a book series I love and is now several books in. We each try things that make the other happy and it works great.

[journeynow]

Not everyone cares to cook. My ex doesn't, a few of my single friends don't. Figure your budget, your health, your interests, and do what works.

 

Dougie, if you can step back and take a deeper look at the big picture…there is irony here in that some things you try you won't give a second chance, your first impression turns you off; and yet, your frustration is because (it seems to me anyway) you want women to be open minded with you and give you more of a chance.

 

It's fine to do things solo, but it doesn't build rapport with people, doesn't build your social muscles. You don't have to do everything with others, but pick an area that you normally do solo or on a whim, and explore how you might start including others in it and plan ahead for it. Expand your circle of acquaintances and friends, and you increase your chances of meeting a woman you click with. Just my 2 cents.

[tiredofvampires]

I don't think lack of cooking skills is holding Dougie back from finding a dating prospect. It's a good life skill to have, but it's not the issue here.

 

The issue is getting out and pushing one's envelope in order to foster new contacts and new experiences. I mentioned a cooking class (though it could have been anything, it just seems Dougie might have more fun with something really "hands on") because it would facilitate social interaction, and provide fodder for future discussions as well as possibly a newfound skill that could be used when the time arises. Everything you do contributes to your conversational palette -- e.g,. "Yeah, I took a cooking class once and I agree with you, making risotto isn't as easy as you'd think!", which leads to a fun discussion of kitchen disasters, etc., etc. And it's NOT ABOUT THE FOOD, it's about the BONDING and her thinking, "This guy tries new things, he's fun to talk to, at least he tried to do something in the kitchen!" -- all plusses working on your side. That sort of thing. As someone else said, if you go to the movies, it's not about the movie as much as talking about what characters you liked afterwards, which then leads to talking about how that relates to something in your life, and off you go into an interesting discussion, perhaps with a woman wanting to continue it another time.

 

The problem is really that Dougie, you're not willing to work towards what you want. You want a woman to just magically appear, with eyes of lust and eagerness, without having to lift a finger for that, and in so doing you're presenting something to women that actually drives them away.

 

Underneath all that jester/goofball/joking/dancing fool exterior there appears to be a man saying to the world, "SHOW ME I'M DATE-WORTHY EVEN IF I'M THE UGLY, INEPT, DUMB, INANE, IMMATURE, CRUDE, TASTELESS, DEFORMED GUY I AM!!!! OTHERWISE, F YOU!! I'm not gonna go out to meet you, YOU COME HERE AND MEET ME, I'm not gonna lose weight for you, YOU SHOW ME IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL IF I DON'T DO IT, I'm not gonna cook/hike/meetup/play your game, learn, get serious, grow up, go out, dress better, try new things, change my attitude because YOU NEED TO LOVE THIS MESS AS IS."

 

"Take that, MOM AND DAD."

 

Okay, so you can flip off the world Dougie. You're not one of the more angry, bitter men out there. But you are basically telling everyone, including posters here, to go f off anyway, because your only desire is for a woman (with a given set of superficially "hot" requirements herself) to fall out of the sky and into your lap and say, "Where have you been all my life?!"

 

So, your mission here is to keep promoting a fairytale in your own mind.

 

I think you'll bypass this post as you do with all the ones about deeper psychological issues, so you can get back to talking about something trivial. So again -- displaying a lack of wanting to grow up and mature. You don't think women can see and sense this? There is absolutely nothing sexy about a man who doesn't want to grow up and get real, for whatever reason he wants to justify it in his own mind.

 

We said you need more life experience and that idea seemed to pique your interest in one post. So far you've shot down everything suggested. So this suggests you think "more life experience" is not for you, and this discussion is rather futile, yes?

 

I know this comes off as harsh, but you should be aware of the real reasons you don't get dates so it doesn't seem like some big mystery, wrapped in an endless spire of guessing.

[annie24]

I'm sure many others have already said this but the point of going to meet ups is really to MEET other people (either new friends or potential dates). Sure, you can hike on your own or read or cook at home. When I am invited to an event, I primarily see it as a networking event rather than an opportunity to hike or eat or whatever. I can hike and eat on my own. But going to an event gives me the opportunity to 1) meet people with similar interests, 2) meet people who may be helpful to my career, 3) meet people who I can help with their careers, 4) meet men to date, 5) meet women who have male cousins/brothers/friends I can date.

[Dougie_D]

I get what everyone says, but I'm just over doing things in general. I work 5pm to 2am M-F.. And it really dampers my social life. I don't cook because I feel like I have no time. I have a car but I take bus/uber/or walk now. I'm over traffic. The band on tour doesn't do anything. I got paid crap working for unsigned bands. My motivation in life sucks. I can only do meet-ups on Saturday or Sundays. But use those days to try to relax too. I've been going to work late, and I just don't care. I am done pursuing women. Why get consistently rejected? Just because I'm the man doesn't mean I have to pursue.

[Capricorn3]

I don't think lack of cooking skills is holding Dougie back from finding a dating prospect. It's a good life skill to have, but it's not the issue here.

 

The issue is getting out and pushing one's envelope in order to foster new contacts and new experiences. I mentioned a cooking class (though it could have been anything, it just seems Dougie might have more fun with something really "hands on") because it would facilitate social interaction, and provide fodder for future discussions as well as possibly a newfound skill that could be used when the time arises. Everything you do contributes to your conversational palette -- e.g,. "Yeah, I took a cooking class once and I agree with you, making risotto isn't as easy as you'd think!", which leads to a fun discussion of kitchen disasters, etc., etc. And it's NOT ABOUT THE FOOD, it's about the BONDING and her thinking, "This guy tries new things, he's fun to talk to, at least he tried to do something in the kitchen!" -- all plusses working on your side. That sort of thing. As someone else said, if you go to the movies, it's not about the movie as much as talking about what characters you liked afterwards, which then leads to talking about how that relates to something in your life, and off you go into an interesting discussion, perhaps with a woman wanting to continue it another time.

 

The problem is really that Dougie, you're not willing to work towards what you want. You want a woman to just magically appear, with eyes of lust and eagerness, without having to lift a finger for that, and in so doing you're presenting something to women that actually drives them away.

 

Underneath all that jester/goofball/joking/dancing fool exterior there appears to be a man saying to the world, "SHOW ME I'M DATE-WORTHY EVEN IF I'M THE UGLY, INEPT, DUMB, INANE, IMMATURE, CRUDE, TASTELESS, DEFORMED GUY I AM!!!! OTHERWISE, F YOU!! I'm not gonna go out to meet you, YOU COME HERE AND MEET ME, I'm not gonna lose weight for you, YOU SHOW ME IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL IF I DON'T DO IT, I'm not gonna cook/hike/meetup/play your game, learn, get serious, grow up, go out, dress better, try new things, change my attitude because YOU NEED TO LOVE THIS MESS AS IS."

 

"Take that, MOM AND DAD."

 

Okay, so you can flip off the world Dougie. You're not one of the more angry, bitter men out there. But you are basically telling everyone, including posters here, to go f off anyway, because your only desire is for a woman (with a given set of superficially "hot" requirements herself) to fall out of the sky and into your lap and say, "Where have you been all my life?!"

 

So, your mission here is to keep promoting a fairytale in your own mind.

 

I think you'll bypass this post as you do with all the ones about deeper psychological issues, so you can get back to talking about something trivial. So again -- displaying a lack of wanting to grow up and mature. You don't think women can see and sense this? There is absolutely nothing sexy about a man who doesn't want to grow up and get real, for whatever reason he wants to justify it in his own mind.

 

We said you need more life experience and that idea seemed to pique your interest in one post. So far you've shot down everything suggested. So this suggests you think "more life experience" is not for you, and this discussion is rather futile, yes?

 

I know this comes off as harsh, but you should be aware of the real reasons you don't get dates so it doesn't seem like some big mystery, wrapped in an endless spire of guessing.

 

This has to be the most brilliant post I have seen in years. Such a pity it will be totally overlooked/ignored, as have so many others over the years. I admire the fact that you still keep trying ToV. Kudos to you!

[Batya33]

I get what everyone says, but I'm just over doing things in general. I work 5pm to 2am M-F.. And it really dampers my social life. I don't cook because I feel like I have no time. I have a car but I take bus/uber/or walk now. I'm over traffic. The band on tour doesn't do anything. I got paid crap working for unsigned bands. My motivation in life sucks. I can only do meet-ups on Saturday or Sundays. But use those days to try to relax too. I've been going to work late, and I just don't care. I am done pursuing women. Why get consistently rejected? Just because I'm the man doesn't mean I have to pursue.

 

If you did activities where conversation naturally occurs between sober people (not at bars/clubs) there would be little pursuing necessary because then people just talk to each other naturally and there's a common interest in the shared activity/project/event, whatever.

 

As far as your work schedule if you want to make it work you will. Plenty of people with crazy and unpredictable schedules (including travel) meet people and date -my husband and I were perfect examples. And too bad if you don't get to relax on a weekend - you'll have plenty of time to do that with an SO once you find someone - make that sacrifice - not the whole weekend but a large part of it -so you can be out there meeting people. I am not suggesting you do anything I didn't do and what I am suggesting you do is far far less than I did.

[annie24]

I get what everyone says, but I'm just over doing things in general. I work 5pm to 2am M-F.. And it really dampers my social life. I don't cook because I feel like I have no time. I have a car but I take bus/uber/or walk now. I'm over traffic. The band on tour doesn't do anything. I got paid crap working for unsigned bands. My motivation in life sucks. I can only do meet-ups on Saturday or Sundays. But use those days to try to relax too. I've been going to work late, and I just don't care. I am done pursuing women. Why get consistently rejected? Just because I'm the man doesn't mean I have to pursue.

 

You can sit back and do nothing, that's your choice. Just don't be surprised when you're still single. Unless you look like Chris Hemsworth or Orlando Bloom and have their bank accounts, you're going to have to do something to improve yourself to make yourself a physically and emotionally attractive package for women.

[Moontiger]

You make your choices in life. And you know that all choices have consequences (both good and bad). You have every right as a free adult to choose to spend most of your time alone, relaxing by yourself, and stubbornly only doing what you want. But then don't complain that a woman hasn't fallen into your lap.

[wsim]

There is nothing else that really needs to be said to you, Dougie. You can make your own life decisions.

 

It seems that you have given up. I will be honest, there are a lot of other issues that you have to work out first before even considering pursuing dating in general. Unless you stop making excuses and actively work out these issues, you will likely be single for a very long time if not forever.

 

I know that you aren't happy at all about how things have turned out but I hope there is motivation to improve your life. Do you ever have plans on having your own place? Where do you see yourself by the time you are 40? I believe that you are working a job that you hate and are not satisfied with in terms of the pay and hours. Are there any plans to find a higher paying job?

 

What are you looking for, a relationship or a hook-up/one night stand?

[tiredofvampires]

I'm just over doing things in general.

 

That's called "being dead."

 

But you're still alive, so combined with this:

 

My motivation in life sucks.

 

it's more like depression. You've probably had an "I give up, why bother, I'm a loser anyways" attitude the entire time you've been posting these dozens of threads over the years. The outer circumstances change from year to year, but this internal recording is still likely playing in the background. So you're full of wishing and wanting, but there's no real fire under your butt to make anything happen.

 

So being apathetic/unmotivated/don't-give-a-damn is an undertow that's really not as hidden as you think it might be.

 

AGAIN: I suggest therapy. Strongly. You can't expect outer circumstances to change before you feel motivated -- first you have to tackle why you are not making much of an effort at changing yourself and your life. I honestly think that with all the negative self-talk and self-perceptions you have, and the self-rejection, you don't think you're worth the effort deep down.

 

And if you don't feel you're worth the effort, how will some woman think you are?

 

Something to think about. But you know, until you decide you want to get this sorted out, it's a good idea to stop seeking women. Because it's just going to be a revolving door of frustrations, just like your threads. I would still counsel you to seek social opportunities as have been discussed here at length, but not with the express intent to land a woman. If something promising happens, good, if not, fine too. You're at least doing something besides just stagnating at home. Until or unless you start to give a damn enough to make an effort, maybe it's good to level with yourself and say, I'm just not ready for a relationship. And then keep that in mind next time you think something like, "My chin is all off". Turn that thought into, "I remember what this is really about: I'm not motivated to go out, I'm not motivated in life, I'm not happy with life, I work and then want the time off to myself -- so that's just where I'm at. It's not happening with women because they can't materialize while all that static is going on."

 

Recognize that as much as you'd like a relationship/girl, you still are prioritizing it way down the list. And your actions are speaking to that.

 

And then...get counseling. (Unless you decide to be indefinitely happy single, without regret, which is a perfectly legitimate choice and many people do it -- and some of them even do it for the reason that it's just too much work; they prefer to do other things).

[tiredofvampires]

There is nothing else that really needs to be said to you, Dougie. You can make your own life decisions.

 

It seems that you have given up. I will be honest, there are a lot of other issues that you have to work out first before even considering pursuing dating in general. Unless you stop making excuses and actively work out these issues, you will likely be single for a very long time if not forever.

 

I know that you aren't happy at all about how things have turned out but I hope there is motivation to improve your life. Do you ever have plans on having your own place? Where do you see yourself by the time you are 40? I believe that you are working a job that you hate and are not satisfied with in terms of the pay and hours. Are there any plans to find a higher paying job?

 

What are you looking for, a relationship or a hook-up/one night stand?

 

This is a really good post. But honestly, I don't think Dougie could get a hook-up/one-night stand because of all the issues with his self-presentation that have been discussed. You have to be either seriously charming and smooth -- or really drunk and female, haha. Just kidding on that last part (sort of).

 

Not gonna happen for this OP, so best he not go down that road entertaining that notion. It's not realistic, and being realistic is what he needs. That's a function of maturity.