Delamer1492 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Hi Everyone, my boyfriend of two years goes out every two/three weeks with his male friends. It's nice and I support him but he comes home between 3am and 6am generally wasted, wakes me up, picks a fight over something stupid, and then passes out. Is it totally crazy of me to ask him to come home quietly? Isn't that just basic human respect? His side is that it's only every couple of weeks and I need to get over it. But I work a long week and getting woken up on Saturday at 6am by the light being turned on and my boyfriend angry with me about something nuts (like a broken toilet paper holder that he actually busted in his drunken stupor), is just too much. What do I do? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Tell him to grow up. If he he is going to come home and break stuff in a drunken stupor and blame you he needs to grow the hell up. I know teenagers who don't act like that . Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 He's completely in the wrong. If he wants to go out and have fun with his boys, fine, but it's completely disrespectful of him to come home and be loud/scream at you. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 He seriously needs to grow up and stop acting like a drunken jerk. Link to comment
Andrina Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 He's an angry drunk. He gets really drunk every 2 to 3 weeks. A guy like this would no longer be my boyfriend, especially if he drives home drunk, and especially if I wanted a decent father to our future children, if that is a goal. I also wouldn't put up with someone being angry with me and I didn't do anything wrong, and had no respect for me, waking me up when I needed to work the next day. The only good change I could see would be for you to break up with him. He has the right to be a mean, out of control drunk, and you have the right to say you deserve better. Link to comment
Delamer1492 Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Thanks, everyone! That makes me feel much less crazy. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 You are not crazy. He needs to learn respect. Hopefully he's not driving in that condition. Because if he is hopefully somebody calls the cops on him. I would not tolerate an angry drunk. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Tell him to stay at a friends place on those nights. It's completely disrespectful to you. I know if my boyfriend did this to me just once he would feel horrible and it would not happen again. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I would tell him either he changes that behavior or I'm moving out - and I would mean it. I had an issue with a boyfriend sort of like this - he would get so drunk that he would sort of require babysitting. After it happened a few times, I told him that it was changing the way I felt about him and my level of attraction for him when he acted like that, and he shaped up real fast. Your situation is different though, because your guy becomes abusive when he's drunk. This requires stronger action. If your guy cares about you and sees a future with you, he'll change his behavior. Talk to him about it when he's sober, of course. Link to comment
Delamer1492 Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 I would tell him either he changes that behavior or I'm moving out - and I would mean it. I had an issue with a boyfriend sort of like this - he would get so drunk that he would sort of require babysitting. After it happened a few times, I told him that it was changing the way I felt about him and my level of attraction for him when he acted like that, and he shaped up real fast. Your situation is different though, because your guy becomes abusive when he's drunk. This requires stronger action. If your guy cares about you and sees a future with you, he'll change his behavior. Talk to him about it when he's sober, of course. I'm going to say that to him exactly! Thanks for the good words! Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 You're welcome! Let us know how it goes. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Let us know how the conversation goes. Link to comment
Snny Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I'm afraid that if he is picking fights with you, he's eventually going to swing at you over a disagreement. Alcohol can make certain people very unpredictable, and he has already shown lack of self-control. My sister dated a guy like this who ended up giving her a black eye the night before her college graduation. The trigger- a "heated argument" between them and he couldn't control his drinking. He was so lucky we were around our families because I would of whooped his ass at the ceremony because over what he did to my sister. He shouldn't be drinking if this is how he reacts to alcohol. Period. This will not end well. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 If I were you, I would put a foot down and forbid him from drinking anymore as long as he is with you. If he can't handle his alcohol better than that, then he shouldn't be drinking.Don't stay with someone who is going to verbally abuse you even part of the time. If you have a shred of self respect for you, then you need to walk if he won't treat you better than that. It doesn't matter if he is sober or drunk. He won't change if you keep allowing this behavior. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Thanks, everyone! That makes me feel much less crazy. The only thing crazy about this is to put up with it. I'd be out the door. Link to comment
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