K's Dating Journal

[faraday]

I really want that big tree in the middle picture. It wouldn't do well up here though lol

[WithLove]

I'm terrified of going to my doctor and him starting to discuss weight loss surgery. I'm more scared of him talking about weight loss meds again. I had such an awful time with it last time.

[Ms Darcy]

I'm terrified of going to my doctor and him starting to discuss weight loss surgery. I'm more scared of him talking about weight loss meds again. I had such an awful time with it last time.

 

I'm sorry you had an awful time. If your doctor brings it up, it's because he's concerned about your health.

[faraday]

I'm surprised your dr will suggest those things to you. Mine tells me to eat veggies and go for more walks...but he would never suggest radical things like surgery or meds- he considers things like that to be extreme and dangerous. He will only refer you for surgery if it's truly the last and only option. Is that like, an American dr thing? It's not like that here.

[Seraphim]

I'm surprised your dr will suggest those things to you. Mine tells me to eat veggies and go for more walks...but he would never suggest radical things like surgery or meds- he considers things like that to be extreme and dangerous. He will only refer you for surgery if it's truly the last and only option. Is that like, an American dr thing? It's not like that here.

I agree my dr just suggested walking and more exercise.

[Cheetarah]

My doctor is totally conservative when it comes to those things. You CAN lose weight, WL - You did it last year. Just be upfront with him and be like look, I eat this and this is why I eat this(feeling BG drops, boredom, sweet tooth, whatever the case is), and I don't want scary weight loss pills nor do I want surgery - I want help learning how to modify my diet and keeping it reasonable enough to stick with. Can you refer me to: dietician, etc. Maybe your insurance plan covers you under the diagnosis of obesity rather than preventative.

[Ms Darcy]

Hmm, how do I put it? My comments have nothing to do with WithLove, but are just general observations over the years from myself and my sister.

 

Every doctor is different of course. A couple of things to keep in mind is that a lot of doctors are actually pretty averse to talking about weight with their patients (for some reason). My sister herself is obese and is a nurse; her doc didn't really say anything about her weight until she started weight-related health issues. Part of it is because people know they should exercise and eat right. She KNOWS she's heavy. She's been on 50 different diets and workout programs. But like most people she hasn't stuck with it ... for various reasons. So, some docs view themselves as moreso in the problem solving role than the prevention role.

 

Anyway, by the time a doctor is bringing it up, it's often because the weight is a serious problem and has been for a while (as in BMI over 35). And, sadly enough, health insurance in the US is more likely to cover weight loss surgery than diet pills and a nutrition/weight management program.

 

So, when the approach is reactive and not proactive, focused on fixing problems, and surgery is more affordable than prevention or long-term non-surgical lifestyle changes, then this is what you get.

 

Source: Nurse sister.

[maker]

I was under the impression that weight loss surgery is always offered as an extreme measure for people who have a higher risk of killing themselves through health problems associated with morbid/supermorbid obesity. Given the radical changes in what you can and can't eat after a Roux-en-Y bypass, maybe the doctor is offering some less invasive and less severe options?

 

I think surgery definitely has its place as a treatment, it works for people who stick to the post-op eating regimen and it's supposedly way cheaper than the combined total of insurance coverage for someone who eats themselves to death.

[WithLove]

I didn't think I was heavy enough for surgery. But I've been coming across referrals to bariatric doctors from doctors at my own job for women that are my height and weight, some older, some in their 30s. So it's making me nervous as hell. When I asked for a referral to a dietician and asked for help with my eating, it wasn't covered by insurance - any insurance. Weight loss programs aren't, at least here in my area. The office I was referred to told me that.

 

I do know what to eat. I know how to exercise. But I've never been able to do it for months or years. At most a few weeks.. Never long enough to make a difference. But the main problem is my eating. I don't eat well. I'll try for awhile and then I'll lose interest. It exhausts me to always be planning my meals. Because I don't really like things that are healthy. So I run out of meals to make really quickly and I get bored.

 

It has to do with what I eat as well as how much. Some days I don't eat much of anything. Others I'll eat 3000 calories. It's so frustrating. I feel hungry all the time. Not even that... I feel like I have to be full all the time. If I feel like I'm not full, I'm always thinking of when and what I'll eat next. It's like an addiction. Is there a such thing as being addicted to food? If there is, I am.

[WithLove]

I lost weight before from pills. And before that from basically starving myself. I won't starve myself again, and the pills sucked so bad. You guys remember how awful my symptoms were. I complained about them so much. And I was only on them for 3 months. They worked, but at what expense? I've gained the weight back in half a year.

[Ms Darcy]

I didn't think I was heavy enough for surgery. But I've been coming across referrals to bariatric doctors from doctors at my own job for women that are my height and weight, some older, some in their 30s. So it's making me nervous as hell. When I asked for a referral to a dietician and asked for help with my eating, it wasn't covered by insurance - any insurance. Weight loss programs aren't, at least here in my area. The office I was referred to told me that.

 

I do know what to eat. I know how to exercise. But I've never been able to do it for months or years. At most a few weeks.. Never long enough to make a difference. But the main problem is my eating. I don't eat well. I'll try for awhile and then I'll lose interest. It exhausts me to always be planning my meals. Because I don't really like things that are healthy. So I run out of meals to make really quickly and I get bored.

 

It has to do with what I eat as well as how much. Some days I don't eat much of anything. Others I'll eat 3000 calories. It's so frustrating. I feel hungry all the time. Not even that... I feel like I have to be full all the time. If I feel like I'm not full, I'm always thinking of when and what I'll eat next. It's like an addiction. Is there a such thing as being addicted to food? If there is, I am.

 

Yeah, I think that this really gets at my point that the approach is generally at treating symptoms (weight loss surgery when it gets to be that bad) versus prevention (weight loss programs). Definitely don't think diet pills are the answer either. But if one is on them, it's more effective over a long long period of time as it becomes part of that person's lifestyle.

 

There is such a thing as a food addiction.

 

The western world is so interesting to me culturally. My parents came from a less developed country. When I have been there, it's very fascinating to me. First of all, I always lose a bunch of weight. There isn't really access to processed food. There is a lot of food and you can eat any time. But it's natural food. And it's not "sweet" ... it's often neutral, savory, or bitter. Basically filling but doesn't make you want to go crazy and eat a ton. So, I would have apples, plantain, chocolate, spinach ... every day. I also had to walk a ton just to get to anything.

 

My point is, it sort of 'reset' my internal hunger and sugar button. But when I came back to the US and had processed food (i.e. sugar, fat, and salt), it was like getting back on crank. Absolutely goes straight to your brain and tampers with your "I'm full" button. Some people are more resistant to that than others for sure. But for those of us who aren't, I think if and when we can get away from processed foods and get used to eating more naturally we can find better balance.

 

I don't have any solutions for you. I mean, I don't expect people are just going to give up ice cream and granola bars and such. But I'm saying that the way the food industry is structured in Western cultures (or other places with increasing access to fast/processed foods), it makes weight issues very easy to develop.

 

As a side note. I find it's important to be busy and moving. My nutritionist actually confirms this as a bit of an appetite suppressant in several ways. The more you are moving (and of course if you are exercising), the higher your metabolism, the more fuel you are burning, and (if you are working out early and not late in the day) the more efficiently your body processes the food you ate the night before. Also, business and moving together (e.g. not sitting at a desk all day/getting up and taking walk breaks) keeps your mind off food.

[sophie274]

I didn't think I was heavy enough for surgery. But I've been coming across referrals to bariatric doctors from doctors at my own job for women that are my height and weight, some older, some in their 30s. So it's making me nervous as hell. When I asked for a referral to a dietician and asked for help with my eating, it wasn't covered by insurance - any insurance. Weight loss programs aren't, at least here in my area. The office I was referred to told me that.

 

I do know what to eat. I know how to exercise. But I've never been able to do it for months or years. At most a few weeks.. Never long enough to make a difference. But the main problem is my eating. I don't eat well. I'll try for awhile and then I'll lose interest. It exhausts me to always be planning my meals. Because I don't really like things that are healthy. So I run out of meals to make really quickly and I get bored.

 

It has to do with what I eat as well as how much. Some days I don't eat much of anything. Others I'll eat 3000 calories. It's so frustrating. I feel hungry all the time. Not even that... I feel like I have to be full all the time. If I feel like I'm not full, I'm always thinking of when and what I'll eat next. It's like an addiction. Is there a such thing as being addicted to food? If there is, I am.

 

What scares you about your doctor bringing up bariatric surgery? Is it because you don't see yourself as being in "that category" of people it might be appropriate for? Or because you are scared of surgery? I ask because you have total control over how you choose to get healthier, and if surgery is completely off the table then I would just lead with that and if your doctor is decent he won't push it.

 

I disagree that the reason bariatric surgery has become common is because doctors aren't interested in prevention - I think most primary care doctors give lectures about diet and exercise all day long, but ultimately many people find it very difficult to stay slim. I agree that insurance certainly hasn't traditionally been in the business of covering nutritionists, weight loss plans etc though it seems that this is finally changing.

 

Once someone is overweight, it can be very difficult for them to lose weight. Of course it can be done, and plenty of people have lost drastic amounts of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise. However, many people just aren't able to whether because of willpower, metabolism, time/money constraints, whatever. I thought the thinking on bariatric surgery was that, while it shouldn't be the first solution, at some point it's better for someone to be at a lower weight and lower risk for the myriad of obesity-related diseases no matter how they get there than to keep losing and gaining the same 30 pounds over and over again.

 

I believe it's possible for you to lose weight without diet pills, without starving yourself, and without surgery - though if you needed "help" beyond what's natural, I for one would not judge or think you are taking a shortcut. At some point when other health issues start to creep in (and you may not be there yet at all), what's most important is just getting the weight off and keeping it off, however one can.

 

If you want to lose weight "naturally", I think you need to work with an "expert" on a structured and reasonable plan as when you DIY you tend to swing between restricting and "binging" because the diet just makes you feel terrible. It's a huge undertaking to try to lose weight and keep it off, so you definitely need a good support team. I think that's why Weightwatchers works well for many people. I hope your insurance plan will cover some weight loss tools.

[Ms Darcy]

I didn't say that doctors are not interested in prevention. I was saying that by the time it gets to a doctor, it's often a serious problem. And the whole insurance-based system/framework they are under has been geared towards treatment of problems.

 

I'm also probably calibrated to think of poorer communities than posters here are from. Where folks don't even see the doctor at all for years until there's a serious problem. A friend of mine's dad, for example, had to be dragged to the doctor when he had a foot infection (his toes had gone black for weeks). He ended up needing it to be amputated. The underlying issue was diabetes.

 

My own insurance has gotten much better about weight management tools and nutritionist services in the past few years.

[Ms Darcy]

Also, for me personally, I don't see a need to be slim.

 

I just focus on a balanced lifestyle with good nutrition and lots of exercise. If I am feeling bulky/too muscular, I just try to make adjustments. Same for if my curves start to get a bit wide. Most importantly, I just try to make the best decisions I can for my health and self perception.

 

It's a freeing attitude. I don't beat myself up about my body. But I work at it every day.

 

In turn, all you can do is do your best everyday. I think it's also important to have support. I enlisted my parents. I also skyped with my best friend each day and he held me accountable for doing healthy things everyday. That's a suggestion for you. What's your support and accountability system?

[WithLove]

I don't really have anyone. I have my mom, but she's not a "tough love" mom, really. She's a "I love you just as you are" mom.

[Ms Darcy]

Ha - accountability doesn't have to mean tough love. If you think she would be down for it, it can be as simple as keeping health/healthy habits as a priority in the conversation. And then of course checking in with you on it regularly.

[WithLove]

It's just hard to have the motivation to cook for just one person, and then cook healthy, too. Especially with me not having a lot of cooking skills under my belt to begin with. And I really miss back when I went to the gym with my friend. We killed it for weeks, then she lost her enthusiasm and I lost mine.

 

I do think that I could possibly get a gym friend back, though. With my gaming group, I just found out that two of the members (a couple) go to my gym too. They take the spin class there as well and asked me to come to it. I'd like to get something started with them so that we all have support.

[Ms Darcy]

So a good friend of mine ended up getting a place with another friend. She usually lived alone up to that point.

 

She and her friend are not romantic partners or anything. But they do a lot for and with each other. They cook for each other two nights a week and do 5ks. So they are saving money and being healthy.

 

Also definitely get friends to work out with you if you can. Exercise can and should be fun.

[WithLove]

Okay! Take two on turkey muffins. They're looking so much better this time around. I went to the store and got a stuff to make these muffins and the chicken and rice recipe again. I also got cucumbers and I have some cauliflower left. And some of you have mentioned getting and trying beans, so I grabbed a can of all the beans I've never tried before, and they are as follows: garbanzo, pinto, white kidney, great northern, and navy. So um.... What do I do with them??

[WithLove]

Okay, here's the final product!

 

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[WithLove]

Next time - I will add onions to the turkey mix and perhaps some mushrooms to the turkey or the cauliflower mash. Needs more crunch.

 

 

I'm feeling good today. I only got about 6 hours of sleep, but I feel more alert than normal. I'm still coming down from sleeping almost all day long on Saturday.

[Fudgie]

I slept a lot this weekend too, K. Glad to hear you're feeling good!

[WithLove]

Ha, I said that, but not I'm starting to get a headache. It could be from my wisdom teeth, though - I feel pressure right between my eyes and pain behind my eyes, and the sides of my jaw are aching. Come onnnnnnn August 1!!

 

 

Oh, I got my doctor appt changed to August 2. My mom said she would go with me.

[Fudgie]

Sounds like it's time to get those suckers out!

[WithLove]

The only bad thing is that I'm not able to touch my PTO time until I've been here for 6 months.... which would be November 10.