Woke up to her going through my phone. Is this normal?

[wondering731]

I met someone that I am starting to like. I invited her to come over for dinner and sleep over the night. When she came over, I felt really good about how things were going.

 

As the night progressed I was getting some texts that were work related. She asked me who's texting me and I explained that work can be hectic and if there's a big problem I have to resolve it. She said ok and I felt like we had a nice night regardless. We joked around and kissed before going to sleep.

 

I woke up in middle of the night to see her going through my phone. I didn't fully get up or make her aware that I was up. My phone has a fingerprint so I guess she used my finger to open it. In the morning she made me breakfast, joked around and kissed me.

 

I feel like things are going well. She asked me this morning when I'm making her dinner again. Should I tell her what I saw? Should I be concerned?

[WithLove]

Yes, you should be concerned. Not sure it's necessary to tell her you saw her, but these are huge red flags. Pay attention to them.

[mhowe]

She used YOUR finger to open a locked phone while you were dead asleep?????

 

Tell her there will be no more dinners and tell her why.

 

Red flag ---- RED SEA!!!

[MisUnderstood9]

OMG! Are you serious?

 

This is a major red flag!! Not normal what so ever!! You've only been seeing eachother for a few weeks and she's going through your phone?? AND she used your finger to unlock it while you were sleeping!?!?!

 

Ya, sorry I agree with mhowe, tell this girl sorry no more dinners, no more dates and tell her why

 

that is beyond creepy and almost psycotic... you told her who you were texting... this girl has major trust issues to pull that kind of crap... end it before it gets worse

[Seraphim]

Yes ,I would tell her what you saw and that her behavior is horribly violating. And if she can't trust you she doesn't need to be with you.

[Clinton]

I agree. Level one crazy alert. Seal the building.

[Seraphim]

Also too if your work knew that she was reading texts about work related issues it is possible that you could get fired. So she is also risking your employment.

[mhowe]

In the morning she made me breakfast, joked around and kissed me.

 

Translation:

 

In the morning, having discovered that her snooping didn't validate her insecurity, she acted as though what she did was perfectly fine.

[Seraphim]

In the morning she made me breakfast, joked around and kissed me.

 

Translation:

 

In the morning, having discovered that her snooping didn't validate her insecurity, she acted as though what she did was perfectly fine.

Yes, exactly. That's a very self entitled woman there, time to kick her to the curb. And tell her exactly why.

[MisUnderstood9]

In the morning she made me breakfast, joked around and kissed me.

 

Translation:

 

In the morning, having discovered that her snooping didn't validate her insecurity, she acted as though what she did was perfectly fine.

 

This puts her into the crazy category.

 

save yourself while you still can.

[Dybbuk]

I'm gonna beat a dead horse here, but NOT NORMAL. Red flag is an understatement. To put it quite simply:

 

-She has major trust issues. This alone is going to doom your relationship, but keep reading for the icing on the cake.

-She thought you were LYING to her after you told her your texts were work related. You're already being thought of as a liar... think on that.

-She hacked your phone in a creepy manner. Seriously... who does that?

-Just think, if anything out of the blue happens with your schedule, or a phone call at an odd time of the day, or another woman just smiles at you a little too friendly... she'll go back to snooping and accusing you if she can't get solid proof to clear you.

-To reference Victoria, she's also sticking her nose into private work matters that could get you in trouble later on.

 

Seriously, move on. Tell her you can't be with someone who doesn't trust you, and it was a complete invasion of your privacy to do what she did. There are plenty of nice trusting women out there, best of luck!

[mhowe]

This puts her into the crazy category.

 

save yourself while you still can.

 

Exactly: Doing it makes her over the top insecure, and basically inferring you lied to her.

 

Acting like she didn't do it makes her the Mayor of Bat$hit Crazyville.

[HeartGoesOn]

Anyone who would stoop that low would think nothing of stealing from you. I would be more selective with inviting someone to sleep over when you barely know them.

[BigKK]

I think you should appreciate that you have a cunning girl on your hands...consider her like a female James Bond...it's kinda hot.

 

So obviously you shouldn't really worry about it at all, in fact, you should put up more "traps" or "obstacles" and see if she can break into them...it can make for a fun and interesting dynamic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/sarcasm

 

 

OF COURSE NOT!

 

WEEE WOOOO WEEE WOOOOOO , the crazy alarm has been sound... WEEE WOOOO WEEE WOOOOO

[Snny]

Not crazy- she is insane! Time to dump her in a heartbeat.

[jimthzz]

In the morning she made me breakfast, joked around and kissed me.

 

Translation:

 

In the morning, having discovered that her snooping didn't validate her insecurity, she acted as though what she did was perfectly fine.

 

Yes, exactly. That's a very self entitled woman there, time to kick her to the curb. And tell her exactly why.

 

This puts her into the crazy category.

 

save yourself while you still can.

 

She has major trust issues and feels entitled to invade your privacy.

 

I think you ought to call her on her behavior and not have her over anymore.

 

On the other hand, you are likely enjoying the intimacy with her. I'd be willing to bet she is good in the sack, crazy usually is. Until you piss 'em off. Then it's bunny boiling time.

[wondering731]

She used YOUR finger to open a locked phone while you were dead asleep?????

 

Tell her there will be no more dinners and tell her why.

 

Red flag ---- RED SEA!!!

 

Is there any point that its OK to do that? I dated someone a while back who would tell me what her friends find after looking through their BFs phones and told me she had already looked through mine several months into the relationship. It almost seemed like a norm. . I hate and love this forum ... Lol

[mhowe]

I can't believe you are asking that question.

 

She didn't just look in your phone. She went to open your phone, found it was locked.

Did that stop her. No.

Found out it was locked by a personal finger print.

 

Did that stop her. No.

 

She picked up your hand from your sound asleep body, and opened your phone and went through it.

 

 

At what point does this look like it could be "ok".

[happyfrank]

Never see her again. She is crazy...

[jimthzz]

I can't believe you are asking that question.

 

She didn't just look in your phone. She went to open your phone, found it was locked.

Did that stop her. No.

Found out it was locked by a personal finger print.

 

Did that stop her. No.

 

She picked up your hand from your sound asleep body, and opened your phone and went through it.

 

 

At what point does this look like it could be "ok".

 

this would be a good time to change your unlock "finger" and passcode.

 

and consider that she may have rifled though all of your information on your phone. Not to be paranoid, but you would not be the first guy that had their bank accounts drained and credit cards maxed out by a sneaky person.

[BigKK]

Is there any point that its OK to do that? I dated someone a while back who would tell me what her friends find after looking through their BFs phones and told me she had already looked through mine several months into the relationship. It almost seemed like a norm. . I hate and love this forum ... Lol

 

sounds like the real issue here is, you need to figure out why you're attracted to nut jobs!

 

This is not the norm

[mhowe]

To add insult to injury ---- she infers you lied to her when you said it was work.

 

Just because you and all of your buddies date insecure women where this is the "norm" (looking at each other's phones) does NOT mean it is normal.

[greta96]

Yikes I'd dump over this. Can you imagine what's next, if you keep dating her? Are you going to be ok with reporting your every move to her, making excuses for talking to your female friends, having to explain yourself for each and every minute you're late, or for not feeling like hanging out with her one night?

 

And if snooping is not bad enough, she actually used your finger while you were sleeping (unconscious), to do so! That borders on crazy, and I bet there's more where this came from.

 

Do yourself a favor and cut her out of your life now! No reason to explain why, because she'll just play the victim, she'll come up with a sob story as to how her exes wronged her and cheated on her and now she has major trust issues, and you'll believe her because you like her. You may even offer to be an open book for her, show her your phone, email, etc., just to make her feel better and trust you more.

All this is wrong and unhealthy.

 

Drop the nutcase, life is too short to have such people in it!

[ParisPaulette]

No, no, no, NO! It is NOT normal for someone you just met to be doing that. OMG, if you have banking information or other sensitive info on your phone you need to change it NOW.

 

While I am not opposed to someone who has been married and is being lied to repeatedly having to do a little bit of looking on their partner's phone to get at the truth, that's when two people have been in a committed relationship for quite some time. And something openly fishy is going on and one person knows the other one is not telling the truth, so they have to go find it for themselves.

 

But this? Would you be cool if you had a safe in your bedroom and you woke up and caught her going through that? How about your private journals or rummaging around in your drawers and closet? On your computer looking up your passwords and other info? No? Then this is the same exact thing. I'm sorry, you guys aren't even exclusive yet, she has zero right to do that. And using your finger when you're asleep to do it? You should have sat up and asked her what the hell she was doing then driven her home right then and there on the spot.

 

Needless to say this one has "bunny boiler/overly attached girlfriend" written all over her. You've been warned if you proceed with the madness of keeping her in your life. That's sooooo creepy! And like I said, change passwords now before money or something else goes missing or she starts posting psycho rants to your FB pages.

[faraday]

I have two different bank apps on my phone and both require me to enter an additional password before I can view my accounts...so he's probably safe there.

 

This is a "slash your tires" crazy kind of situation though...I think you should run.