Online Dating - A Woman's Journal

[missmarple]

Yeah, I'm afraid I will hear from him again.

His attitude in that phonecall absolutely convinced me that he hadn't been joking. He was too aggressive for someone who had made a joke that had been misunderstood.

I told a friend of mine about the phonecall (male friend) and he said that, if he had really been joking, he would apologise for the bad joke and realise that since I only knew him for a week and had seen him only once in person, I couldn't be sure if he had been joking or not and my reaction was normal under the circumstances. He also thinks that he wasn't serious about me in the first place...he said a man who's serious about a woman, would never make such a joke (even if it was a joke) right after their first date.

[missmarple]

Well, I just sent Phil that email. I'm sure he'll be relieved as he didn't even text me good morning today (for the first time and I hope he won't think it was because of that). As soon as I logged on the site he was there and he messaged me good morning, how are you. I didn't answer, the email is enough, I think. The email said:

Good morning, Phil. It was nice meeting you but it's obvious we're looking for different things so there's no reason to continue this. Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.

Then I deleted him from my contacts and logged out. I don't feel like reading his answer right now (if there is one)...despite his strange behaviour, I had gotten used to him, I guess.

 

So, with Dan and Phil gone, I'm left with Bill, the photo guy who hardly looks like an interesting prospect :suspicion:

[missmarple]

And I just read Phil's answer:

 

That's ok, no problem. Lots of kisses to your cat.

Have lots of fun.

I hope we can talk again.

Kisses (and 3 heart smileys)

[IAmFCA]

I don't get Phil. But I guess we don't have to. I agree with your approach re email. A clean slate makes mental room for new candidates.

 

Its a bummer to let people go, but it's better to keep people around us who provide us with energy. He seemed like he was becoming a habit but also an energy drain, or at best, energy neutral.

 

fingers crossed for new....

[missmarple]

I don't get Phil either and I never did. Even his reply doesn't make sense to me (talk again how?)..and today, he looked at my profile..God knows why.

[annie24]

He's the one your friend thinks is married?

[missmarple]

Yes, annie, that's the one.

[missmarple]

Phil emailed me today. He said 'Good morning, how are you? The new pic isn't very flattering (I had put a new pic up). Kisses'.

I didn't answer him and I'm thinking I'm going to block him.

[annie24]

Bizarre. Block!!!!!

[Cheetarah]

Phil emailed me today. He said 'Good morning, how are you? The new pic isn't very flattering (I had put a new pic up). Kisses'.

I didn't answer him and I'm thinking I'm going to block him.

 

Looks like someone is butthurt.

[annie24]

It's all a game to him. If he's married, then he isn't actually interested in trying to find a woman to be his gf. This is all entertainment for him.

[IAmFCA]

The biggest lesson I have learned and will continue to learn from OLD is about boundaries.

 

Phil has none. "Ooh look I can still be a jerk and pretend we are old friends. Look how familiar we are after investing these two weeks!" It's like "Look ma no hands" and your are intended to be the audience that is validating him.

 

Except you get to say "Didn't notice. Can't see you. Huh?" With the block. Cell phone block. Full scale block.

[missmarple]

Bill, the photo guy, just called. He finally got his flat ready (he has electricity..yay) but he's booked fully with photoshoots for the holidays. However, he said that he'll definitely find some time in the next week to meet me.

Hopefully, he won't ask me to meet on Christmas Day

[missmarple]

New guy. Paul, 54, divorced with 2 grown up daughters, lives close to me and has a catering company. He is a bit older than the guys I usually talk to but I like his pic and we had a very interesting chat. He seems to be serious and knows what he wants. He already asked me to meet tomorrow and I'm thinking about it.

[IAmFCA]

1 vote for Paul

[annie24]

9 years isn't too bad! good luck!!!

[missmarple]

Well, Paul may be older than me but he's certainly not trustworthy.

We were supposed to chat for a while last evening, he had asked to make an 'online date' actually. I was there and he wasn't. Later I found an email saying where are you and when will we talk again, I'll be online tomorrow morning at 11. So, I emailed back that I had been on time but he wasn't so I had left and I'll be online at 11 (today). Today I was there at 11, I found another email by him saying I made his night with my email and he can't wait to chat to me...and yes, once more, he wasn't there. At some point, about an hour later, he appeared, sent me a couple of flirts and left again. So, I don't have much hope for him as a future prospect...he seems too flaky for my liking.

 

However...I did talk to 2 new guys today...I initiated both conversations, basically because I was too bored but they both went surprisingly well and I'm meeting one of them tonight

 

Chris, 43, has his own taxi (he only drives it in the mornings so his evenings are free), divorced with a 12yo son. He has lots of pics online and he looks good. He's been on the site for a year, on and off (August was his last visit), but has never started a relationship from it. His last relationship lasted for 5 months and ended 10 days ago. We had a very good conversation, he's very open. He told me about his late brother, his life, his job and commented on many things on my profile which is rare even from guys who message me first. He asked me what I'm looking for and said he's looking for the same things. He said he wants a proper relationship but he wants to be sure before he jumps in one, he wants his next relationship to be 'for life'. We exchanged phone numbers (he offered his and I gave him mine, too) and said we'll stay in touch. I'd really like to meet this guy, even if nothing romantic happens, I liked his style and the way he talked and everything. Only bad thing is he's a Cancer (like Dan) so I hope history won't repeat itself!

 

George is 48, a gym teacher, good looking (great body, naturally), divorced with a son and a daughter who live with their mum. We talked for about an hour. I can't say I was dazzled by his personality (Chris definitely made a better impression on me) but he was talkative, asked many questions and seems normal enough. He reminded me a bit of Phil (he's a Capricorn, too, just like Phil..coincidences!) when he said he's gone out with about 10 women from the site but he didn't like any of them enough. His last relationship ended in the summer and he said he generally likes being in relationships but he's very choosy. When I told him I have to go, he suggested coffee or drinks for tonight and, since I had nothing planned, I said ok, let's live dangerously..lol I gave him my number and he called immediately (sexy voice, I have to say). He's coming over to my part of town (he lives 40 mins away) and I'll take him to one of my favourite cafes (I don't drink).

 

So, we'll see what happens tonight. For now, I'm just surprised that I happened to talk to 2 guys with the exact same star signs as the last 2...and neither one is compatible to mine

[Batya33]

Interesting about Chris. When I did on line dating I often found very little connection between how the person seemed/"sounded" in an e-mail as opposed to on the phone or in person. Have fun meeting George!

[missmarple]

I just came back from the date with George. In general I had a good time. First of all, he's very tall, 6'3 or something. A very good body, nice face, athletic style and a sweet smile. Very polite, too. Conversation flowed, we talked about many things..a big part of it was about our job (naturally) but we also talked a lot about relationships. He seemed to be into me, he touched me a lot, held my hand, caressed my hair, teased me (which surprised me as he is very serious in general) and said I'm pretty. If I liked him back, it would be an amazing first date. But I didn't. At least not in 'that' sense. I liked him as a person, I liked his looks, I had a good time but I didn't feel any chemistry, unfortunately. However, I'll go out with him again if he asks...who knows, I may feel different next time. He drove me home after the date and said we'll talk tomorrow..so, we'll see.

 

Chris texted me during the date asking how I'm doing, I said I'm out, he said have fun and that he was just relaxing at home, watching TV. It was nice to hear from him

[IAmFCA]

Sometimes chemistry builds with trust and familiarity. George has the building blocks. I'm hoping he asks you to give it another go. Sounds like he will. .. and like a good meet up in any event.

[annie24]

george sounds cool! i hope you meet with him again. sometimes first dates can be awkward and it can take a while to build some chemistry.

[quirky]

I like Chris. 10 days out of a relationship though...might be too soon for him..?

[annie24]

yeah, george is a better candidate in that regard. 10 days out of a relationship is not good. but, we'll see, right??

[missmarple]

I know that 10 days out of a relationship is too soon. However, it depends on the relationship. Chris seems to be more of 'my type' but that's only based on our online conversation. He could be different in person. George's last relationship lasted about the same as Chris's...6 months, but it was 4 months ago and he talked to me about it and he said it was a good relationship but neither he nor the woman fell in love at any point and they broke up on friendly terms. Same goes for his ex wife. He said that nothing dramatic happened, they were just different people and when they got divorced, noone was surprised. After the divorce, they remained on civil terms because of the kids and that's all.

I haven't asked Chris about his relationship (or his marriage) but I will. 5 months isn't a lot but if there were feelings involved and if she was the one who left him, I'd be very hesitant to continue our acquaintance. So, fow now, everything is up in the air, I guess.

[Sportster2005]

I would be concerned about someone like this. Seems like it's just a little too easy for this guy to break ties and move on. You don't want drama kings. You also don't want someone completely drama free. People should feel things when they end ties with someone they supposedly love. My best guess this guy is going to go through life shrugging off relationship, after relationship. Prove me wrong kids.