How are YOU feeling right now?

[doingitmyway]

starting to feel a bit better today, but it's still hard. I watched through one of my favourite episodes of my favourite TV shows: Avatar the Last Airbender. In one scene there's a great part where Zuko (the anti-hero) is getting a grilling from his uncle over stupid life choices he makes because of circumstances forced on him. His uncle's words really hit home with me today. 'It's time to look inward and ask yourself: Who are you and what do you want?'

 

I've decided that I will dedicate the next few days to figuring out who I want to be and what I want to do with life for now. I will be seeing my ex later this week, so I will deal with this then. I will say/do what I have to and then drop the issue. I have the whole summer away, so I will mingle and meet new people, make new friends, join new circles of people and hopefully this will help me heal.

 

I'm probably feeling worst over this because we were such close friends, in honesty, she was my only real friend. I was honest and true, she messed this up. I will drop this and move on with my life. No contact after this week for a good while. I need to find someone new.

[stepsinthesand]

Feeling like an absolute pile of rubbish this weekend. Over five months since I've seen you and it feels like the pain is getting worse, not better. I'm still putting a lot of work into trying to reconcile the person you were with me, with the stranger you became. Still no answers. I think I'll just stay single forever.

[Kristenelaine]

Utterly lonely

[figmentations]

Saw my ex gave her FB to another person on the online dating site we met. Big blow.

[Jimbly]

Was in her part of town last night and couldn't stop myself from driving past her place. So stupid. She wasn't home, and I started obsessing about what she's doing. But the feelings weren't as bad as they could have been.

 

Much better today.

 

Today it's my birthday and she texted me. I didn't think she would. I won't reply! This is the first contact since the BU 3.5 months ago that she has initiated. I know it doesn't mean anything, but at least she still thinks about me. Still not sure about our plans to meet for lunch in a few weeks.

[RougeQueen]

I'm feeling pretty good despite my hangover! I met up with a male friend last night that I haven't seen for a long time and we ended up hooking up. It was liberating to know that I am at a point in my healing where I can be intimate with someone besides my ex and not feel regret or sadness about it.

 

My ex texted me again today (last time was on Friday). Our conversation was light and we joked around. I'm not sure why he's contacting me, especially since he's with another woman, but it was nice to talk to him again and validating to know that he's still thinking of me (I know, I know I shouldn't seek valudation from other people but it still felt good).

 

Things are different between us now and I'm at peace with that. I still love him but I think that I can transfer that from romantic love to friendship, given time. I still stand by not wanting or hoping for us to get back together but I would still like to have him as at least a small part of my life regardless of how we ended. Time will tell if this is wise or not.

 

I'm still not at a point where hearing about his relationship will not hurt me but I know that I will be there someday. If he wants to be friends I'm cool with that as long as he doesn't bring up his gf for the time being. We'll see how this works, I guess.

[DerekJason]

one day you will wake up and not care about what they're doing.

[Watergirl777]

one day you will wake up and not care about what they're doing.

 

Ohhhhh I hope so!

Feeling awful, pain in my heart!

[Mike80]

Feeling hung over like a mofo right now. Had some drinks and a good time with my fam.

 

buuut....the fruits of my diet and exercise labor are beginning to pay off. Just met a ridiculously hot 21 year old Japanese/Irish bartender tonight and we're going out tomorrow night. I told her Im 32. Her response? "You lie! You look 26!" That made me feel like a million bucks, god knows I nedded that. Even though I still lament the ending of my relationship with the ex, I cant let that stop me from living my life.

[Looking up]

It's been over 3 months now and still the first thing I think about when I wake up is her. It really does hurt a lot still. I do a few min cry then start my day.

 

I would say the day is pretty good. I wound say every couple of hrs I will think of her at work. The drive home is hard because I used to talk every night as soon as I got of work on the drive home. It's very hard not to pick up the phone and call. It's good I'm working long hrs now so I don't have much time at night. I pretty much go straight to bed.

 

I must say I do miss her a lot and I still have hope. I am moving forward in life pretty good right now. But I'm very sad she is not with me.

[RougeQueen]

I'm not really feeling good OR bad right now. Just kind've...blah. Maybe it's the weather...hormones...who knows.

 

Haven't heard from the ex today, which is fine. I think it's for the best actually. I still have a ways to go in healing and I've noticed that I look forward to talking to him. That's dangerous ground, especially considering he's dating someone else and I still have some lingering feelings. No point in setting myself up for a big painful fall, right? It would be like shooting myself in the foot and whining after that I didn't see it coming. So I suppose it's time to pull back again. I'll stick to my choice of not contacting him.

[wish9080]

Alittle better than before. Had a good cry earlier and let out all the anger and sadness I'd been feeling. I'm slowly putting one foot in front of the other and trying to move on even though my heart doesn't want to.

[Dat]

Like crap. I want the pain to go away!!

[surfjon]

Today is pretty ok.....

 

Although I no longer wonder....nor do I care what she is doing at any given moment, I do still somewhat miss her company but whenever I start to think about her, I just recall the crappy way she treated me for 2 years, and also how she used the damned "Fade-Away Method" to make me leave.......

 

I just have no respect for her and I still resent her for how she did this.....

[chamachama]

A bit anxious. I told my ex never to contact me ever again. I know that she will do exactly that. I don't expect to ever see or hear from her again. I know that I did the right thing. I was getting trampled again by her. Being intimate and super affectionate with me one week. Then disappearing again. This time she sent a pic of a guy she was going on a date with and started telling me how great he is. My heart just exploded and I felt so horrible. She did it because she believes we can continue to be fwb without the f, but I can't do that with her. I have feelings for her. We are not friends and we never will be friends. Every time we are near each other we can't help deep affection and strong physical attraction. Every time. Even when we wait 8 months without contact, we met and it was exactly the same. I'm not her pal. I never will be. Ever.

 

Its hard, but I do feel a sort of relief. Like a load has been lifted. I feel lighter. Less burdened I guess. Because I know there is really only one way this plays out and its me completely moving on and never having her in my life again. There is no room for hope. I guess their never really was...

 

There is a new girl in the picture lately. I'm trying to take it real slow. But I have a feeling that this is too fresh and I will mess it all up. This girl is super cool and we have some pretty great chemistry so far. Again, I need to take it super slow and not rush things just to have a fall back. I am making a pact with myself not to sleep with her for at least a month. Wont be easy with the way I am but if its going to amount to anything I needs to be that way. I need time to come to terms ending things with my ex again. Luckily its happened so many times I tend to get over it much faster now. But I never asked her to never contact me ever again knowing full well that she will completely comply.

 

I don't know. It's Tuesday. I'm supposed to sign up to fight in a world tournament today after work over seas. Whereas before I was wavering back and forth. I don't want to get injured anymore. But now? I am chomping at the bit to sign and get out of the country to fight and win. Its clearly happening at the right time for me. Things happen for a reason....

[gotexans12]

I was feeling ok these last few days until this weekend. Spent the weekend going out with some friends to the beach. It was suppose to be fun until I drove accross an area that reminded me of her. Somewhere I always wanted to take her. I told her I would take her to it one day. Now that she is gone I just feel so lonely. Cried these last 2 days. I haven't cried since she left over a month ago.

[mrmbreak]

I'm a constant up and down contradiction. It's been four months and i'm still in love with her. There was a tornado warning last night, and my first thought was concern for her safety. Other than asking for money, she hasn't contacted me in the last four months. I go from realizing that I was a great boyfriend and that she never put any effort into caring about me, to searching for what I did wrong... One moment I feel like I don't want her anymore, then the next moment I feel like I she is still the love of my life.

[surfjon]

Chama....

 

It's hard man..I know! We go back and forth between "did I do the right thing in ending it", to "I really needed out, it was toxic in the end"....

 

We'll never know man, ever...

 

mrm....

I'm with ya too, I did all I could, and my concience is clean on that. I was fully commited and invested in the relationship, and I did all I could at the end to give her space and time, but she wanted out so hey, what else could I do BYE BABY!!

 

Whatever, I did love her dearly, but if she were to call me today, I'm too far gone.....

[doingitmyway]

After spending some time with other friends (honest ones) my happiness seems to be on the way back at last. My ex is not going to be seeing anything of me this summer (sadly we live together and are contracted to do so again for the last year of uni.) My plan is at this point to say what I want to when I go back to the flat to pick up my stuff and then im going to leave it there. She's hurt me and Im entitled to feel as I do.

 

I want to get back to being me and doing what I enjoy. I'm my own master, not her

[Looking up]

I feel like I'm going through the break up again. It feel like it's day one again after months since the BU. I think with healing and being a better man has made it worst. I think this road of healing and moving on will never end

[Tanzi]

Meh...

 

It's an ok day, it's rained here for 4 solid days so that doesn't help much.....

But today supposed to be sunny and hot so I'll go work on the boat for the weekend and maybe take a short cruise.

 

Kinda depressed, but not about her, just the whole relationship thing in general...

 

It just seems so pointless, like they are all doomed to fail and whats the point of trying really,and it gets me depressed becaues I'm the type who is happy alone, but prefers companionship with a steady person who I adore....

 

Just seems like it may be too much to expect anymore...

 

I feel the same. After weeks of being OK, I have shed a lot of tears over the last few days. I really don't know why. I cannot pinpoint where this sadness is coming from. I'm getting on with life. I am having fun. I actually quite like NOT being in a relationship (only to a degree). I think I have finally accepted that we cannot be together so can really look forward yet I feel the chances of finding something real and everlasting are becoming slimmer and slimmer. I don't know if it exists anymore ... but the scarey thing is I'm not even sure if that matters anymore.

 

Maybe that is where the sadness is coming from ... not so much at the thought of a lifetime alone but the thought that I do not have the energy to try any more.

[quirky]

I cannot pinpoint where this sadness is coming from. I'm getting on with life. I am having fun. I actually quite like NOT being in a relationship (only to a degree). I think I have finally accepted that we cannot be together so can really look forward yet I feel the chances of finding something real and everlasting are becoming slimmer and slimmer. I don't know if it exists anymore ... but the scarey thing is I'm not even sure if that matters anymore.

 

I feel the same too. Part of me wants to be with someone again, be in love and feel homely and then another part of me I don't want to compromise anything or risk having arguments and feeling rejected. I worry as to how comfortable it is to be single. I am not cynical when I see others inlove and I do think it can happen. I just feel it is difficult to happen for me. And if it does it will so likely end so what's the point. It sounds like I'm painting a futile picture but I'm actually ok overall and I still try..

[surfjon]

Yeah....

 

I was the same, really strong for a solid month, was dating few girls, and actually seeing alot of a girl I dated in college....

 

Actually thought she might be cool to think about being "exclusive" with, but she threw up some serious red-flags and I broke it off with her. I think I'm running scared at this point and as soon as I see a red-flag or 2, I bail out due to fear of being in another crap deal....I guess it's better to be very wary and over cautious, than to put up with poor treatment.

 

I can understand the weary feelings folks have, I too am very weary at even trying.....after the 20 year marriage failure, and now this investment of 5 years of my life with someone only to be slowly abandoned has really sapped my strength and dashed my ability to believe in the concept of "love". I feel it's like trying to bag a snipe.......you wait and wait, yet there is no snipe...

 

The jewell is truly inside, I'm convinced that only I can make myself happy, that everything else is prone to dissolve and then one is left trying to deal with putting their life back together, and gather up their broken hopes and dreams and shuffle off to heal somehow......Just very disheartening to think about it.

 

I can't go thru it again and don't think I'll be in a relationship for a long while.....

[Tanzi]

I remember following your story about the new girl ... and your ex driving by and seeing you with her. You were empowered by that ... it escalated you forwards, for a while it seems anyway.

 

I am finding that the more relationships I have, the more scared I am becoming of contemplating a new one. How do you keep on trusting? How do you fear NOT getting hurt again?

 

My marriage failed after 12/13 years and I have watched my ex-husband jump from one relationship to the next, without any space in between, leaving a trail of devastation and broken hearts behind him. I do not see the person I married in this man but, bearing in mind he had two affairs whilst we were married, I evidently did not see the true person in the man I married. That worries me. It worries me that our daughters question his actions now. I don't want them to view all men in the way their own father behaves.

 

An ex-ex of mine has baffled me totally. He was actually the reason I found eNA. He is married now and yet he sent me a text the other day telling me he missed me, made a lot of mistakes etc etc!! I'm not going to try to fathom it out though. We are more than done. That little snippet of information is way too little, too late.

 

And then there is my current ex ........ with a 15 year age gap (I am older) our BU is more understandable than the others but why contact me to tell me he misses me and is still hurting only to add that the decision we have made in not being together is the RIGHT one. Why bother saying anything at all?

 

I'm not sure I have the strength for any of this any more.

[mhowe]

I think they contact you because they are lonely, or feeling guilty. Certainly no need to respond....

Also, it could be that they are hoping you "take the bait", and they can get the benefits without the relationship!

 

Take time to heal....and re-engage in your own life. The rest is gonna come when you are ready.