Looking up

Well you have proven you are the most selfish going. I ran into one of your family members at the race and the little one He was so happy to see me. I ran right up to me a gave me a big hug. I spent a few hrs with him and I was told this was the happiest he has been since the BU. Come to find out the little one has been asking about me almost everyday. How can you be this selfish to do this. And you are doing nothing good for him. I hate you

It's so sad what you are doing to our son. Time to put him first. This is the first time you had to be a mother because I was always there to take care of him. You should be ashamed of yourself.

After all the you have put me through and hurt not once did I get mad at you. One if these days I will tell you off and knock you off your high horse You can't be going around acting the way you are since the break up. You are using and hurting a lot of people for your selfish ways You did a good job making people feel sorry for you. You are such a

Maybe you might be thinking about me on this day I know I am of you. I can remember you sitting accross from me on the deck on the water on our first little trip. That's where we both said I love you to each other. I new at that moment I found what I was looking for Happy anniversary where ever you may be I love you

Well I think you have put a stop to any last hope for you just to say hi. I really never thought it was going to be this way. I am truly am sorry for holding on for so long. That picture I attached is something you just can't forget so easy. The 2 must important people in my life smiling back at me. And yes this weekend has stirred up a lot of great times I had with you and also the little man last year. Yes it is a strange feeling to go from being so close to someone than being treated like a complete stranger. The 2 of you have given me so much. But at the same time I wish I never decided to go to New Brunswick that summer because I wouldn't have the girl I fell in love not being with me or moving on with someone else. Or the fact not seeing the little guy grow up and missing out on this. Anyways enough of this . I will keep it like you want complete strangers. I hope you find what you are looking for and when you do hold onto it. You don't want to end up like me. By Take care.

Babe I wonder if you ever think about me the way I think about you

I don't hate you I do hate you for messing with my life and causing so much pain. It's been a hard road and I'm not even close to the end. I really thought I new you. I guess I was wrong and that hurts the most.

Out of all days not to hear from you today was the worst. Sorry for emailing you and asking how the little guy was doing. You are such a hurtful selfish *****. You know he misses me and I miss him to. What wound it hurt to just say hi. I was off today and you are working. Who knows who is watching him today. You can't keep just shipping him off like you are. Give your head a shake. You know he would rather be with me. You controlling *****.

I miss you so much. In a few weeks we would be coming up on our anniversary and this year I will not be planning anything. I can't believe you still look the other way about us. Our family we once had. I love you so much still. I think I always will.

Why do I still love you and can't get you off my mind. Why do I still have hope you will can your mind. Why do I want my little boy back. I just do I can't think of anyone else I want to spend my life with. You were my babe. You with the part that was missing that I found in you. I'm sorry I feel this way about you but I do. I can't help it. I found my birthday card today just before the break up. "Together for ever" I went to the doctors again More test need to be done. Funny thing is I hope the test come back positive. I really do. I really don't want to live anymore if I have to deal with this anymore. I guess you will never know if I'm gone. s

I saw you today. You saw me. We could have talked but you did not reach out to me. I reached out to you for over to months no reply. So why would I think and different in person. I could see you looking at me. I was wondering what you were thinking. I saw the person I still love maybe you were thinking the same thing. I miss you babe

I don't hate you. I just hate that you left me with memories of you and family that now I have to deal with. And the fact I don't know where I went wrong. You were my fiance, you were going to be the mother of my child. We were one for 3 years and at the blink of a eye you called it quits. I was not a selfish guy. I always did what was best for the two of you. I took another mans child in and loved him as my own after he left him. I gave you guys a better happy life. I tried to reach out to you and you could even reply back. I tried to be there for the little guy that I treated as my son. And when you replied you told me there was some else. I was the dad for over 3 years. It's such a good feeling I was replaced so quick. I left my high paying job , sold the house pretty much lost everything at the time it didn't matter because It was the right thing to do for the family. But during this time you were cheating on me and planning on leaving me. Why did you make it seem like everything was perfect and let me do this. I lost so much all at once. A wife to be that I loved and cherished so much, a son that I miss so much. The child we were planning on having to complete the family. And everything I work so hard for. The future that we both planned that is not going to happen. All of this in a blink of a eye. So really this was a lot to take in such a short time. Not once did I get angry at you. All I wanted was to know why. You just left me standing there starring at the walls. You just got up and walked out. So here I am writing on a forum because yes I'm having a hard time with this. You have no clue how much pain this has caused me. I really started to second guess if the was a purpose for me being here about all this and how I felt.

Day I. Well it's been 2 weeks nc now. Just found this post. Bu 3 months ago. Tried to make contact over the months to win her back. No reply to anything. So I decide to do nc for myself to heal. So after 2 weeks feel a bit better. I had my ups and downs. Well more downs. I can think a bit better now. I can say it's getting better

This is very true. Nothing makes sense what happened to me. It's been months for me trying to figure out what happened. Months of beating myself up because the ex fience made it believe it was my fault. Even if it was only a few words she said before living it really makes you think.

It's been 3 months thanks for the pain and miss trust. Do you feel good you cheated on me and lied. You could even tell me why when you walked out that door after 3 years. No normal person would do that to someone. You are so selfish. I do know now if I every want to cause anyone the most terrible pain that makes them want to die. I will just do what you did to me.

Why did you lie to me. Why to give me these feelings for you. Why are you making hurt so much. I get just turn off these feelings. You only get one chance at life and I wanted to be with you. And you made it clear you wanted me to. You make it seem it should be so easy to just forget and move on. Well it isn't. Love is something you just don't turn off. It may be easy for you because you cheated on me and left me. Not in a million years did I see this coming. So now I sitting here pain wondering why this happened. I can honestly say from deep down I saw you in my life forever. I don't get why you did this to me. Do you know what it's like to feel rejected by the one you loved no you don't becsuse I would have never done what you did to me I miss you so much. I miss your touch I miss that warm feeling you gave me. You made me feel complete. I feel sick just thinking about never seeing you again. Why did you hurt me and why making feel this way I miss you. My heart misses you. I want to come home.

Since you never gave me closure So it's been 3 months now. I'm still feeling what has happened is so wrong. I'm still in shock after what has happened. May I ask what was going though your mind when you made it so clear to me everything couldn't be better. You made our future together and our family seem so perfect. You new I was deeply in love with you and didn't want anything more than to be with the 2 of you and the new addition that was planning How could you do all of this and break up with me in 10 mins after a few days I showed up. You broke it off so quick and put me to the curb like garbage. You lied so much to me. Lied about everything. You cheated on me. Every word that came out of your mouth the last month was a lie. Yes people break up all the time like you said but you don't put people though what I'm dealing with now. Do you know how much you hurt me. I trusted you with my heart because I thought you loved me back. Why would you plan so much with me and give me so much to look forward to. You gave me so many good memories that now I'm dealing with. We were in love. And yes I 'm still in love with you. Do you know how it makes a person feel when you lied and started seeing someone else. Do you know how I feel that you are making love with someone else and the fact you were still with me. You were only looking out for yourself and didn't care how much you were going to hurt me. Do you know how it felt to go from being so perfect to the bottom of the barrel in a min. I guess you don't because you don't care. Why didn't you do this to me why didn't you lie. Even if you were to read this you wouldn't reply. Because you don't care and you made it seem 3 years never happened. I still remember the time we both looked onto each others eyes and said I love you. It was real You felt it I felt it. Something like this only happens once in a life. It was true love. I lost my love my friend, my boy I feel sick I thought i new you.

Well just got back from fishing. Must say it was a bit hard not having the little guy beside me. But hey. I fished well before I met you. And I'm going to keep doing what I enjoy. I went after I saw my therapist today. I can't believe I had to see someone now for 2 months now. Why did you lie to me so much and make it seem everything was ok. Do you know what your actions can do to a person. What you did to me when I trusted you with everything has left me with a scar that will never be able to cover up

From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life. Your beauty, heart, and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be. I promise to love you for eternity, respecting you, honoring you, being faithful to you, and sharing my life with you. This is my solemn vow. I been working on this from sometime now. I have been keeping it to myself. I finished it up on the road down to be with you. I guess you will never get to hear me tell you. Such a shame I felt this way about you.

Well I'm up early this morning because I'm going fishing on opening day. I still haven't made it out the door yet because I am sad. I love to fish but it brings back memories when I took the little guy fishing on opening day when I first got here. It was such a fun day we spent together. Seeing his eyes light up when we first got the first fish. All I wanted to do is pick the little guy up today and go fishing and see his eyes light up and a big smile again when we catch the first fish. Why are you punishing me for wanting to see him. It's so unfair of you. There was so many things we did together. And to be honest this might be my last year I am able to go. And all I wanted was to enjoy some time. Am I asking to much just one last time to see the smile. Words can't explain how this makes me feel. To be honest I am kinda glad I might be inficked with this disease.

So I am doing my best with not contacting you. It's been hard We used to be so close, talk about anything. We used to support one another. You were my love and my best friend I guess there was one thing you couldn't talk about and that was the other guy. I have tried to make contact with you a few times now. Nothing back. We were together for three years and to go from the way we were to nothing is hard We helped each others with problems. And found away to make anything work. I reached out to you because I might have a problem. I've been to the doctors a few times now and lots of blood work down. I'm scared and I needed you. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me and force you to talk. But I guess you really don't care about me. I haven't told a soul what's going on with me. I'm scared

I need to ask why. You made it sound so good to make the move There was so much that had to be taken care of before I came. You told me over and over how much you loved me and missed me. You made it seem like there was nothing wrong. But there was. You started seeing someone else I just don't understand when I was so honest to you about everything and felt free to tell you anything. The part the really sucks I trusted you. This would have been so much easy if you told me before I move everything down and sold the house. I didn't have a clue you were going to do this to me.

Well it's Mother's Day. I and the little guy always made it special for you. There was a lot of things I did for you to make you feel special. And to be frank there was nothing in return from you. I'm staring to realize this now with the time we are apart now. I was just a stepping stone for you. Help you advance your courier. And once you got there you left me. Wow totally used me and put me though emotional hell. I trusted you with my heart. Made me think we were going to be together for ever. You put up your walls and made me think I was doing. Something wrong. But all along it was you. You started to see someone we were planning our wedding. So you left me making it seem like it was all my fault. But as time goes by the truth is coming out. It was you that did wrong. The way you acted was very selfish on your side. Just so you didn't like a *****. You hurt a lot of people in my family You started to spread lies about me just to save your pride and make people feel sorry for you. Anyways happy Mother's Day. To be honest you are not a mother. A mother has a heart

Just sitting here thinking about how you could be so selfish with everything. I came into your life and also the little boys. You made me feel like the father to him and I felt the same way. You left me and took everything away. You moved on so soon after 3 years I hope you realize you can't do this to a small child make him all confused. You really hurt me so bad when you took your love away and my son. It was so selfish of you. I was the good dad that made the boy feel like he had a father after the real dad disowned him. So unfair to put a caring person like myself though this.