How are YOU feeling right now?

[nfperception]

I completely understand what you mean. I am sorry you are hearing about this so much from other people. That really keeps things fresh.

 

Mine was 6 weeks ago so I have a lot of healing that I need to go through still.

 

 

Yeah, it'd be nice if they stop.

 

Good luck with your healing!

[betterthan]

Today I feel good. I went to my first yoga class last night and it felt so good to do something for myself. I woke up this morning and after a few minutes, realized that I hadn't thought about him yet! I was so happy, it set the time for the rest of my day.

At this point I realize that I don't actually miss HIM I just miss having someone around all the time.

I am working on focusing on my kids, myself and a fresh start when we move in 3 weeks.

Today I'm optimistic and happy that I can be just me.

[mbee]

Crying, bawling and feeling upset again. My ex just sent me this message saying something like this, "I'm praying for peace for the two of us. I can't take this anymore, and I know you can't either. I've already told you so many things that I'm sorry for. I don't know what you can't just accept that. It doesn't fix our problems. I want you to find happiness, My Name. If you aren't happy with me, then just let me go. I don't need anyone to tear me down. I'm just not at a point where I can take it or need it. Stop pretending like I don't care. Stop pretending like I haven't apologized and meant it. Stop tearing down what we've built over the past two years. Whatever we're going to find out of this isn't going to come through blame and accusation. I'm not sinking to that. I hope you begin to understand that things aren't as black and white as you've made them out to be. I have to go now, but I hope you know that I do love. That I'll be praying for you. That I'll always be glad you were in my life. Nothing can take away those amazing two years. I love you.

 

Why did he have to write that to me? Plus some of it isn't true. He never apologized for cheating or anything. I'm not tearing anything down, he tore it down by not communicating with me while we together, cheating and being honest. It's just driving me to tears. I feel so miserable now. No worries, I'm not responding. What was this all about?

 

I'm just not good with this mind games stuff. I feel like he's making it out like I'm this bad person trying to hurt him.

[strangecacti]

Today I deleted my ex from my phone, blocked her on FB & deleted her pics from my computer. I feel pretty good about it but I wish it was just as easy to get her out of my head & heart.

[hereigoagain1]

You have no idea if she is going to have a good relationship -- I would doubt it. Kinda hard to trust a guy who walks out on his wife and kids.

Thank you. I hope you're right.

[hereigoagain1]

You're right! I'll never know for sure if she is happy or not. I wish that I had friends or family in this town. I need something else to think about instead of obsessing over this junk.

[HoldOnToHope]

I meddled with my phone yesterday and i happened to see her pic and status on wadsapp..it made my heart race and analysing her status..i hate this. Deleted her number and texts which i had been keeping for months and i wonder if i did the right thing.

[Tanzi]

I meddled with my phone yesterday and i happened to see her pic and status on wadsapp..it made my heart race and analysing her status..i hate this. Deleted her number and texts which i had been keeping for months and i wonder if i did the right thing.

 

I deleted my ex from EVERYWHERE the moment we broke up. I have no inclination to know what is or isn't going on in his life. However he emails me so his name is always on a list of recent contacts .... it tells me if he's online and it shows his picture (one I took of him on holiday) and any recent update he has shared on google plus! It's like you can't get away from them no matter how hard you try.

[surfjon]

Holdon....

 

You gotta do what a-little said, delete ALL!!!

 

I made the mistake of deleting everything except blocking her email so last Monday when she emailed me, it started the hurting anew....

[mbee]

How do you guys get the courage to block? I'm in this mess right now because I didn't block him or anything. I still enjoy reading his messages and everything, they tend to be on the lovey, dovey, sweet side. Just reminders of the past. It's hard to cut that off and to think if he ever needed me, I wouldn't be there.

[kz91]

I feel amazing right now, for the first time in a long time. I've had a brilliant day and it's not over yet, the sun is shining and OMG I love this weather.

 

Hope you're all good! Much love.

[mbee]

I feel amazing right now, for the first time in a long time. I've had a brilliant day and it's not over yet, the sun is shining and OMG I love this weather.

 

Hope you're all good! Much love.

 

Go you! That's excellent news! I'm glad to feel some positive energy from that post!

[HoldOnToHope]

How do you guys get the courage to block? I'm in this mess right now because I didn't block him or anything. I still enjoy reading his messages and everything, they tend to be on the lovey, dovey, sweet side. Just reminders of the past. It's hard to cut that off and to think if he ever needed me, I wouldn't be there.

 

I did not block her or anything, i deactivated my FB account and didn't login to my twitter.. i only deleted her number and texts after 4 months BU / 2 months NC. I still have a box which contains stuff like a nicely done photo frame with a picture we took while we were together..I don't know what to do about that box..

[mbee]

I did not block her or anything, i deactivated my FB account and didn't login to my twitter.. i only deleted her number and texts after 4 months BU / 2 months NC. I still have a box which contains stuff like a nicely done photo frame with a picture we took while we were together..I don't know what to do about that box..

 

Thank you for your response and letting me know the time frame. Me and my ex just broke up 6 weeks ago and I feel terrible for how I'm handling it sometimes, but it's good to know that these things take time. That it's okay to make mistakes.

 

I understand about not knowing what to do sometimes. I think people sometimes really like destroying everything. I've never destroyed an exe's anything honestly. With my current ex I dumped some stuff in the dumpster and regretted it. One was a scrapbook he made me. Fortunately, he sent me an electronic version so I have that, and I ended up being able to retrieve one thing I left there, but I can't get back the other things unfortunately. I kept his letters, cards, handwritten notes and all of that. I don't mind keeping them and it doesn't cause me pain. It's just a reminder of the past. I just keep them tucked away so I may re-discover them someday. Everyone is different on how they choose to handle these things.

[Tanzi]

How do you guys get the courage to block? I'm in this mess right now because I didn't block him or anything. I still enjoy reading his messages and everything, they tend to be on the lovey, dovey, sweet side. Just reminders of the past. It's hard to cut that off and to think if he ever needed me, I wouldn't be there.

 

I deleted him from social networking sites and removed all his contact details from my phone but I didn't block him. He can contact me if he wants to - which he does - and although I respond to him, I am not tempted to contact him.

[rocknrolla]

Not too good, pretty down the past few days, really missing her. In 2.5 weeks it will be a year since the b/u. Still having a real hard time believing I'll ever meet anyone who made me feel the way she did. Just want all the pain to reminders to go away so I can be happy being me again, tired of all the wasted time and energy feeling this way. These terrible feelings are exactly why I had a wall up around my heart, cause I never wanted to experience this kind of pain again, dept this time is much worse.

[mbee]

Not too good, pretty down the past few days, really missing her. In 2.5 weeks it will be a year since the b/u. Still having a real hard time believing I'll ever meet anyone who made me feel the way she did. Just want all the pain to reminders to go away so I can be happy being me again, tired of all the wasted time and energy feeling this way. These terrible feelings are exactly why I had a wall up around my heart, cause I never wanted to experience this kind of pain again, dept this time is much worse.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down. A year is a long time, and I think it's normal to have bad and good days. Keep staying strong. You'll meet someone new someday. These things just take time, they really, really do. Just keep focusing on yourself and healing. It's tough. I know.

[rocknrolla]

Too rough, only way I'm better comparatively to a year ago is I can function most days, though underneath everything I'm still sad and lonely, just try not to show it anymore as peoples patience with someone who is depressed only goes so far. I do look forward to good things now but have yet to experience them. And there is very little to no physical pain anymore, just emotional and mental. As much as that is progress in itself, a year later and I'm still no where close to feeling good or normal, thought I'd be in a better place by now.

 

Ontop of that I look in the mirror and no longer like myself, and I know what people are going to say " exercise, improve on your looks, buy some new clothes etc...", yes I don't like how much weight I've lost due to al this and want to get back in the gym but it's not so much my looks or even the type of person I am. I believe it stems from her no longer liking me, she no longer seeing anything in me worth sticking around for makes it hard for me to believe anything about actually is good or good enough for anyone else. And that I don't know how to change.

 

The normal me is social, active, hits the gym, fun to be around, always smiling or laughing etc... And yes girls for whatever reason normally find me good looking. So I know for a fact I have a lot going on personalty and looks wise. But I find myself not believing it enough anymore.

 

Things I am working on is getting fulltime work, and possibly my own place. Which I know both will help self esteem wise.

 

Other than that I'm at a loss.

[Tanzi]

Fed up with myself. I really do have to stop helping him get over me and move on, after all who is helping me get over him!? He surely isn't!

[mbee]

Fed up with myself. I really do have to stop helping him get over me and move on, after all who is helping me get over him!? He surely isn't!

 

Stay strong a-little-blue! Did you respond to him again? How does he contact you usually? For me, I forwarded all my exes emails to a folder that I never check and actually don't have any temptations to check since I did it a couple of weeks ago. For Facebook, I made any messages show up in the "other" folder. Sadly, texting and calling is a bit harder to control but maybe you should try to keep your phone off most of the day.

[mbee]

One step at a time. Getting a job and finding your own place will help significantly. Keep giving yourself daily goals to look forward to. It's really hard but you'll get through this. We are here for you.

[sunshines]

Just really sad. If I had any kind of friends here, then I bet I wouldn't be as miserable thinking about him all the time. I have no friends, no distractions, no nothing. So it just makes the break up a lot harder. I'm just here with my thoughts to myself. No I'm not going out to a bar alone, that is so unsafe and there isn't even a bar around here you can just sit at.. if you get up you lose your spot all night and are left standing alone somewhere. I mean.. I do wish I lived in a town where I could walk to a bar, then I be more inclined to just say screw it.

[rocknrolla]

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down. A year is a long time, and I think it's normal to have bad and good days. Keep staying strong. You'll meet someone new someday. These things just take time, they really, really do. Just keep focusing on yourself and healing. It's tough. I know.

 

Just returned a phone call for a possible interview, guy wasn't there should hear from him over the weekend.

 

I try to tell myself it's just one more day I have to get through, one day closer to being ok, but it's almost been 365 days and I don't feel any closer, had 3 interviews within a week, which is great but until I'm employed and receive my first paycheck I'm still gonna feel stuck in this hellish cycle.

[mbee]

Just returned a phone call for a possible interview, guy wasn't there should hear from him over the weekend.

 

I try to tell myself it's just one more day I have to get through, one day closer to being ok, but it's almost been 365 days and I don't feel any closer, had 3 interviews within a week, which is great but until I'm employed and receive my first paycheck I'm still gonna feel stuck in this hellish cycle.

 

I think it's normal to expect everything to feel okay after a year, but sadly that doesn't match reality. When I think back on my life and how it's grown, changed and how I fought out of depression at times. I see it as something that took many years, and overall I improved but again, it took quite a bit of time.

 

3 interviews is AWESOME! Congratulations! Also, note that even when you get a job you might still be in this cycle. The point is working towards an overall better lifestyle. That will happen gradually and I'm sure it's been happening now. I'm not sure when you'll feel okay, but you will one day. I know that.

[Tanzi]

Thanks mbee. He usually emails me. I'm not sure why he has resorted to emails. Most probably he has deleted all my other contact details. I think he just wants to know that I am responsive to him. There will come a point when I will be ready to ignore him ... but he's not a bad person and I know he is struggling. If he had treated me or disrespected me in the way my ex-husband had it would be easy to hate him and ignore him ... but I can't hate him and that is what makes this so damn hard.