strangecacti

The part that gets to me is that you don’t even have the guts to call or see me in person. You hide behind intermittent emails. You don’t want to deal with what you left, you don’t want to deal with me, I get that. I’ve been on that side of it before. But I thought what we had warranted more than an “I need space” talk & your subsequent bolting for someone else. I don’t want you back but I don’t think I deserved that either. Ahhh but what do I know.

I’m hurt, confused & angry. I could see if things had gotten cold or contentious between us in the weeks leading up to you leaving but it wasn’t. I felt that it was still a loving relationship. But I guess you had already made up your mind for a long time before leaving. I wish you were more forthcoming but I understand how hard it is to be the one to end things. I know I put you through a lot. I lied about my situation & it put you in danger. I didn’t stick up for you because deep down I felt that what I was doing WAS wrong. I didn’t make you feel legitimate. I’m so sorry. I know you deserve to be with someone you can introduce to your friends, someone you can be proud of but that knowledge hurts like knives.