How are YOU feeling right now?

[Looking up]

Just thinking to myself how much I still love the ex. Sad

[sunshine34]

Hopeless, abandoned, alone. I miss u, u leave today and u didn't say goodbye. I wish things were different dimitri.

[hereigoagain1]

I'm feeling like love and relationships are a cruel joke. they just never last for me, so I'm feeling lonely and kinda hopeless at the realization that if I don't stay single then I'll just continue to go through one failed relationship after another. It seems pointless.

[waspp]

same for me..miss him a lot..

[swans]

Trying to move on and a friend of mine and my ex is really interested in me.

I feel like I need to date someone so I can move on but this is so awkward and I still love him....

[rocknrolla]

Hating life, kind of want to crawl in a hole and die peacefully. My life and surroundings though familiar feel very much like a twilight zone, an alternate reality that was never meant to be that I'm stuck in and can't find a way out, back to where I'm suppose to be. But apparently THIS Hell hole is where I'm suppose to be (according to the "everything happens for a reason" theory), honestly can't imagine Hell being much worse than this.

[surfjon]

Nervous.....

 

She asked to see me and I said ok....

But first told her that I didn't see the point, and still could not offer friendship, only civility.....

She said she knew that, and wanted to see me regardless.....

 

I'm reading nothing into it, just kinda numb.....

 

She's coming on the boat tomorrow.....

[hereigoagain1]

I feel confused. I don't know where to go from here.

[Dat]

I'm a little better. Miss her like crazy. The thoughts of her running through my head about her moving in the next few months and hopefully reconcile run rampant. I know what needs to be done, I just have to stop dwelling and do it!

[mbee]

I hate the future right now. Why can't I just chose to live in the last week before it all ended where everything felt good and life was normal? Why can't life be easier?

 

I wish I could run away somewhere, a place without all these distractions and just start anew. I'm fine if I feel lonely, but I don't want to live in this world where I have to accept that the person I love most of all doesn't love me because of what everyone on this forum says, my friends and my family. I want to live in a world where I can call my best friend and talk to him and where that other woman doesn't exist and the love was what I thought it was.

 

If that can't happen, I just want to genuinely feel happy and believe it. Yet, everything takes time. If it takes so much time, then why can't I fall asleep for weeks and not have to worry about work or anything.

[Looking up]

Once again I started my day with a good cry. The I'm alone feeling is still with me. I'm not liking this path that has been chosen for me. I want the life I had back. No question in my mind. To be honest I am very scared this is going to sick with me forever and I will always be in love with the 2 I can't have. I keep wondering why I m alone. I feel sick

[nick66]

Although I'm better, today is kind of hard on my heart. I still don't understand why, and I know I never will. Just remember this, you gave up on me, our marriage, and our kids. I will never take you back, never. I'll get my life together for God, our kids, and me. You have fallen off of that list forever.

[hereigoagain1]

Once again I started my day with a good cry. The I'm alone feeling is still with me. I'm not liking this path that has been chosen for me. I want the life I had back. No question in my mind. To be honest I am very scared this is going to sick with me forever and I will always be in love with the 2 I can't have. I keep wondering why I m alone. I feel sick

I'm feeling the same way and having the same thoughts you expressed here. I'm really hoping that she doesn't marry the rebound guy too. it's almost more than I can bare but I'm going to get through this. you are too. Hang in there.

[amylacc]

Terrible. 8 months on and I feel just as bad as I did then. We started talking again (big mistake) and he made plans to come down here when he was in DC. He backed out of those plans. We used to talk once or twice a week (usually I instigated) but I noticed he rarely replied to my messages or called me back. He didn't acknowledge my birthday two weeks ago. Now I feel just as bad as I did when he dumped. I do not want to ever go through this again. I'm never letting anyone get close to me.

[Ne Moe]

I feel a bit lonely and a bit sad. I'm going to try and stay busy. It's been over a week since he last initiated contact and called to see me. I've thought about him every day. He clearly hasn't thought about me much at all as he hasn't contacted me since. I feel half ready to move on and half still in love with him. But that's halfway there right? An improvement I guess.

I joined a dating site and I'm thinking I'll start dating again.

It's been 4 months since the BU. We clearly aren't getting back together. Actually I'm a bit surprised when I realised it's only been 4 months. It feels like a lot longer. A lifetime.

[Alone Now]

Sad and really pissed at myself. I have let the greatest non-sexual male friend I have ever known walk out of my life because I am too self absorbed to apologize to him for lies that my Mister Wrong told about him. I miss my male best friend more than words could say.

[hopelessincan]

I just had a weird feeling that something isn't right or ok with him/his family. might sound crazy but its not the first time and I've felt that before when we were together and I was always right. That intuition feeling. Ugh now I am worrying. I hope I am wrong, because I am not about to call him to find out. maybe in a couple of days. I have to make it at least three weeks nc - I promised myself. but now I have guilt. lol. maybe its my subconscious making up stories so I cant let go.............I was starting to feel slightly better too

[Alone Now]

I just had a weird feeling that something isn't right or ok with him/his family. might sound crazy but its not the first time and I've felt that before when we were together and I was always right. That intuition feeling. Ugh now I am worrying. I hope I am wrong, because I am not about to call him to find out. maybe in a couple of days. I have to make it at least three weeks nc - I promised myself. but now I have guilt. lol. maybe its my subconscious making up stories so I cant let go.............I was starting to feel slightly better too

 

I completely agree about the intuition! It can be wonderfully charming or it can be quite debilitating. It's blessing and a curse! But you know what? I really believe in those things! It's like calling the other person because you just don't have a good feeling. Or calling and texting each other at the exact same moment. It is a rarity and definitely something two people should hold on it! A ying and a yang! Despite the NC, that commonality should not ever be overlooked. Sorry dear!

[kz91]

It's 10:37am and I've only just woke up. Not feeling that good but I'm not feeling that bad either, only because I had a dream about her last night. ):

 

I still miss her and its exhausting.

[Enn]

GREAT!! GREAT!!! I FEEL GREAT!!!! I'm generally not a confident person at all, but I'm more confident than I have been in years and my perspective has just cleared completely.

 

STATS

 

Day 24 (have to count it)

Weight loss: One and a half stone

Fitness Level: Highest ever

Outlook: positive

No Contact: 100%

Breadcrumbs: 3.5

Breadcrumb 'patronising' rating: off the scale

Dates: 1

Crap dates: 1

 

KEYS TO RECOVERY

 

100% NO CONTACT

Completely steering clear of all social media

Few days off work licking wounds

Reading this forum incessantly (early days: lot of old SuperDave posts especially soothing)

Opinions of marvellous people on this forum, esp no-nonsensers!

Lovely PMs from people on this forum in similar boats

Caliguy's No Contact Guide (Google it) - SO GOOD to re-read when resolve feels weak

Dating site (even if you don't go on any dates, it's good to be reminded that there are loads of catches out there and people find you attractive)

30 mins daily exercise (I am most sedentary person of all time normally but it's so important for endorphins etc).

Great friends

Rather a lot of alcohol (sod it, it's only short-term)

Definite goals for the future

Realising: Hold on - I've lost him but he - the poor sod - has LOST ME, by choice! 'If we were to have no contact anymore that would make me so sad' - oooh you don't say! What a bloody shame!

 

I'm well aware some days are better than others, so there might be some setbacks but they will entirely be due to my own laziness. Come on everyone!!! We can do this! Nobody is worth putting your life on hold for!

[Fredd]

I feel great as well Enn, even if I still didn't start to exercise... but I'm sure I've lost some weight, anyway

 

I'm start to realize what I have really lost and I think my life will be better with another person next to me, instead of him, as he's a kid and a coward.

 

The key, girls and boys, is to realize what you have really lost.

Especially if you have given them the best part of yourself, and they dumped you anyway, start to realize your loss hurts but you can do better then them.

While they will hardly find somebody better than you.

 

So their loss.

And one day they will realize it, but that day you will already be happy with somebody else who loves you for real and that can solve the problems in a better way that just dumping you.

 

My grandparents have been married for 52 years.

And my parents for 31.

 

Don't you think they had their problems in almost 60 and 40 years of knowing each other? I remember when I was 16 my mum and dad spent days arguing... but they decided not to give up, they solved the problems, they rebuild things. And they are happy now.

 

A person that throw everything away is no worth, we can do better, and if one day that person will ever come back we will have to evaluate if we want them back or not... let's take the whole thing in our hands!

[hopelessincan]

I completely agree about the intuition! It can be wonderfully charming or it can be quite debilitating. It's blessing and a curse! But you know what? I really believe in those things! It's like calling the other person because you just don't have a good feeling. Or calling and texting each other at the exact same moment. It is a rarity and definitely something two people should hold on it! A ying and a yang! Despite the NC, that commonality should not ever be overlooked. Sorry dear!

 

Thanks for this alone now. I believe in it too..its happened too much not to!. But what am I supposed to do? By his silence he has made everything perfectly clear. It doesn't matter what is wrong, I'm not allowed to care anymore. It's not my job to help anymore. The ball was left in his court.

[Looking up]

I miss my dad today. rest in peace dad And I miss being a dad today. I hate today

[Ne Moe]

I feel like crap today. The weekend was going so well. And then his sister called to me with post that went to his house for me. So he got the stuff during the week and never text me about it. So it would seem that he is actively not speaking to me which is strange.

He was the one who always initiated and followed up on contact. Thursday last week he called in to see me and since that visit I've heard nothing from him. Nothing at all. I decided I'd wait for him to contact me and he hasn't (even though he initiates seeing each other, I'm usually the one who will text and say hi first).

 

I'm so confused. I think that he thinks I'm not talking to him. Which is no harm really because I've told him often enough that I don't want to be just friends. Maybe now he's accepting that I mean it.

 

This is yuck.

[hereigoagain1]

I feel hopeless, alone, and I am struggling to find a reason to live. I won't kill myself, but I have no desire to live anymore. I'm trying to reasons, but I feel like life is pointless.