Limiya Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Feeling a bit tender today. Not really sure why. I've been doing so well recently. But for some reason i keep wondering what he had told his friends and family about me and why he left me for someone else. Not that it matters. Yet it keeps popping into my head today. Had he told his family that he loved someone else and not me? Did he say i wasn't good enough? did he compare me to his new woman in front of people? Did he bad mouth me to friends and family? Who knows? I shouldn't care, but today i just seem sensitive to it. Who knows? It's not overwhelming, and i am happier alone than i have been for ages with him, so i would never go back. Just one of the days i guess. Distraction, distraction, distraction. Limiya X Link to comment
elsenyor Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Lately I've been feeling "good", I still miss my ex, still love her, but it doesn't hurt as much I don't think. However at times I do get a feeling in my chest where it's like an empty void, a black hole if you will, endless in existence that seems like it can't be filled, it's annoying. Even though I'd like for her to reach out I'm simultaneously kind of fretting at the idea oddly enough, I don't know if it would set me back, if it would allow a reconciliation or anything positive. I also know that I'm not complete in the my self improvement path, have plenty I'd like to get done before revealing my version 2.0. meh. Link to comment
HoldOnToHope Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Been doing okay until today..some of the words she said on the BU day came back into my mind and i was so angry. "I was young then, now i have grown up I know how to think for myself." was the reply when I asked her why she couldn't go through another 3 years with me - so that i'm done with my studies and military service. And she said if we are meant to be, after 3 years we will get back again..as she is too tired and stressed to go through all of this with me now. I admit I may not be the perfect guy who did perfect things towards her, but I really did my best to love and care for her. Her replies just popped up Link to comment
HoldOnToHope Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Been doing okay until today..some of the words she said on the BU day came back into my mind and i was so angry. "I was young then, now i have grown up I know how to think for myself." was the reply when I asked her why she couldn't go through another 3 years with me - so that i'm done with my studies and military service. And she said if we are meant to be, after 3 years we will get back again..as she is too tired and stressed to go through all of this with me now. I admit I may not be the perfect guy who did perfect things towards her, but I really did my best to love and care for her. Her replies just popped up and i kept asking myself why? why? why? Link to comment
Nick32 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I feel kinda blah today. I have been doing a little better each day. Still amazes me how I can sit and think of all the reasons that I am happy I am no longer in a relationship with somebody that can't commit emotionally while at the same time looking at my phone to see her phone number pop up. I feel kinda crazy. I guess I keep looking back on the relationship and think of all the things I could have done different. But the more I look back I also realize that some of the things I did and said because I never felt like she was emotionally there might have had just cause. I guess I kept waiting on the woman I knew she could be to show up, but all I ever got from her was second best. It hurts to think how quickly she could go back to her ex (after 2.5 years) and seemingly give him the commitment that she could never give me. I told her many times that she would likely have to work through her emotions and the pain that came from the breakup but she never listened. Now I am the one that had to pay the price. Link to comment
surfjon Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 She's seeming more and more like someone I don't know, and maybe never did.... It's 6 months, and I'm really over her now, but I did like having one special person in my life, and I know I will again, so I'm just taking it slow, trying to get to know myself again, and visualizing what I want in my next relationship and maybe even more importantly, what I DON'T want. I let her so trounce my boundaries, and I surrendered my control, which I'll never allow again..... Link to comment
Looking up Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I so hope there is better days. I did feel that happiness for a few hrs a few days ago wish it wound come back to take this pain away. Link to comment
hereigoagain1 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I feel angry and a really jaded. I think love sucks and I'm never going to let anyone in again. I'd rather fly solo. better a lonely heart than a broken heart... Link to comment
nick66 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I feel heartbroken that I had to move out of my house and leave the kids behind. They are my life, my everything. She gets her divorce, and the house and the kids? I hope my kids don't forget about Daddy...... Link to comment
betterthan Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I saw him on my way home from work. Just about burst my happiness bubble. I am trying to not let it. Im trying not to let myself look into all the little details of the non-interaction. "Why did he do _______?" Ack. Continuing on. Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I feel better yet worse at the same time. Better because it has been 15 days since he left and I haven't attempted contact. I am not happy about the no contact, but happy that I know deep down some of my strength that I used to pride myself on is coming back, just by the sole fact that I haven't once picked up the phone to dial or text him, nor draft an email addressed to him. I never ever have accepted crap from a man or being ignored. Yet I did from him. Perhaps that bred resentment. I feel worse because I wonder if my lack of attempt to contact him means that I have given up. Worse because I fear that the longer it takes, the less likely I will be to ever contact him. And I think that would be a waste of something that was so good for so long. Also worse because I worry about him and I hope that he knows that he can still reach out to me if he needs me. I know that it takes two to make a relationship successful and two to have it fail. Link to comment
godsaveme Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I constantly feel like my stomach is twisting and turning. I feel like I will never find someone who will make me as happy as he made me. Is it possible to love again when you gave everything to the person you thought you were going to spend your life with? I feel like this has ruined my life, as beautiful as our relationship was. I will never get that part of me or my life I shared back. I gave everything to him and our relationship. I need to know I'll be okay someday Link to comment
AutumnBorn Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 You'll not only be OK, you'll be better than you were with him. Me before breakup: Pudgy, though attractive, middle-aged woman with two kids, a house in perpetual remodel, a husband who placed online ads looking to be a third wheel for other couples. No real career, mostly a wife and mom. Me during breakup: Crying mess. Me post breakup: Slim, middle-aged woman with hair that turns heads, a cute wardrobe, a fabulous cello, and owns her own business (with two convenient locations to serve you better). My ex post breakup: Scrawny, middle-aged man who pines for his ex-wife who's now living with world renowned artist boyfriend (who's gorgeous, smart, warm, funny, and gorgeous...oh, did I repeat myself?) True story. Link to comment
godsaveme Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Im so happy everything turned out for you! I think exercising is going to help me vent some of these emotions. Im already close to my pre-relationship weight (I gained 25lbs living with my ex! Lol) and getting back in shape will definitely give me a much needed confidence boost Link to comment
digger12345 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Feeling lonely, very sad sometimes - but fleetingly. I have a lot in my life to distract me, and hopefully the distractions will help to distract me completely from him. Just keep breathing is what I tell myself. My heart might be shattered but it is still beating. Keep moving forward. Don't want to sleep though - weird dreams. Hopefully those fade with time, too. Link to comment
freeindeed Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Can't stop thinking today... ruminating... wondering about what could have been. Finding it hard to focus on important stuff. Wondering if he's even given a single thought about me, as he is on holiday. Link to comment
Limiya Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Much better now. New it would pass and it did. Went dancing last night, new shoes, chatted with friends. Very good distraction. Going to the cinema tonight with a friend too. I'm glad i have a full social life at the moment, it's perfect for when those emotions catch you off guard. You know if won't last so long. Limiya Link to comment
surfjon Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I'm feeling a little smug today because she emailed me again, but I won't respond this time. I like that she's reaching out to find only nothing-ness, much like I had to experience for months..... I have a date to watch my buddy jazz band tonight...... And it's with my gorgeous ex-wife that left me heartbroken in 2007..... I did the hard work, bettered myself, got in great shape and built a new life that it seems like she's interested in being a part of again. Funny how things go in life... Link to comment
hereigoagain1 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I'm still sad. I'm trying to keep the focus on myself, but it's difficult. I miss her and her kids but they have moved on and shut me out. I have decided to work seven days a week to stay busy and also to accomplish some things for myself. I still want her and the man she left me for to break up. I honestly don't know if it's because somewhere deep down I want her back or because I want some sort of justice. I just know that those thoughts crowd my mind every day. I try not to think about it, but I have nothing else to focus on. Hopefully more work will help. Link to comment
Looking up Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I have that hope feeling coming back. I wish I didn't becsuse it causes me pain. I can't help myself from missing her. I still love her like day one. So sad. Link to comment
hereigoagain1 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I feel like crap. I'm at work and I just keep breaking down and crying. she's with someone else and it's been six months. why am I having such a hard time getting over her? I have been through two divorces and it wasn't this difficult. I think maybe it's more difficult because I'm all alone in this town without friends or family here. That has to be it. I don't know how to distract myself. Link to comment
surfjon Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Was sitting here thinking ..... If I had to describe how I feel right now in only one word, what would it be? I think this work is perfect to describe my general malaise... en·nui [ on wee ] 1.boredom from lack of interest: weariness and dissatisfaction with life that results from a loss of interest or sense of excitement Just generally down and cynical as of late, yeah...I know, we'll find someone again, blah...blah...bla... Some days are just harder to see past than others, That is my report, over and out! Link to comment
mbee Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I feel exhausted and tired. It's like the last 7 weeks since the breakup are rapidly catching up with me. I'm also still a bit mad at myself. My ex texted me last Monday evening saying thank you for something and saying how hard it is to be in a specific location without me. I replied 5 hours later with a "you're welcome" and then he immediately replied saying "I love you. Goodnight" which I reciprocated. Egh! I'm still mad about that. I'm just wishing there was a way to fast forward your life for a few weeks from now or a few months from now. I just want to escape this toxic cycle of hearing from my ex and knowing that he's with someone else and isn't going to change right now or probably ever. I feel like everyday, I'm counting the hours, trying to think of some goal in life to fixate me from this drama. I wish I could think about the past, reminisce on our times together, but I know that's unhealthy and that I can't. Link to comment
SAB77 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I feel strong. It's been 2.5 months since his passive aggressiveness drove me to break up with him (because he was too much of a coward) and 1.5 week since I moved out. I am 100% sure I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't have the urge to check his FB, I'm not waiting to hear something from him (last week he texted and called a few times, haven't heard from him since Sunday and that's fine, peaceful), don't want to contact him. Is this weird or am I subconsciously avoiding something? (I did cry a lot the last 1.5 weeks, but nothing since yesterday morning. I went through anger, sorrow, anxiousness, confusion, ambivalence, the whole lot in the last few months, I'm not made of stone Link to comment
waspp Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 This site helps me a lot. Great advices. Thank you very much! 4 days NC..Misses him so much...funny moments together...BUt it's over. Goodbye Mister... Link to comment
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