Boyfriend confessed to cheating

[Cherry009]

Just keep doing whatever helps you. You can do this LG.

[NymphaeaLilly]

Congrats on a small victory

Baby steps LG and one day you'll look back and see how much progress you made.

[LonelyGirl10]

So, something happened tonight. I don't want to say what since I know my ex is probably stalking me on here. But I feel so much better! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me, and I feel the most like myself that I've felt since December probably. The urge to contact him has temporarily gone away. I know it'll come back. But I finally feel for the first time like I can actually do this.

[chitown9]

Lonely Girl, I have a suggestion for you....print this entire thread and take the copy with you when you go to your counseling session. It will help the counselor in to have the insight as to what you have be put through. I know that your life is turned upside down, but just think, it could have been worse if you had married him.

[LonelyGirl10]

My counseling session is tomorrow. I have no idea how to tell her everything that has happened in one hour. It's impossible.

 

I also got tested yesterday for STDs, and should get those results back either tomorrow or Monday. I'm terrified of needles, and actually passed out while they were taking the blood. All I could think about was how mad I was at him that I had to deal with a needle because he couldn't keep his private parts to himself.

[abitbroken]

My counseling session is tomorrow. I have no idea how to tell her everything that has happened in one hour. It's impossible.

 

I also got tested yesterday for STDs, and should get those results back either tomorrow or Monday. I'm terrified of needles, and actually passed out while they were taking the blood. All I could think about was how mad I was at him that I had to deal with a needle because he couldn't keep his private parts to himself.

 

Just start at the beginning. Or just try to look at this thread and write down the most important points. And go from there.

[diamond78]

So, something happened tonight. I don't want to say what since I know my ex is probably stalking me on here. But I feel so much better! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me, and I feel the most like myself that I've felt since December probably. The urge to contact him has temporarily gone away. I know it'll come back. But I finally feel for the first time like I can actually do this.

 

Well, whatever it is...I am happy to hear it made you feel much better! You deserve some happiness after all this grief and drama. And I hope he stays silent so you can get some peace for a change.

 

We're rooting for you!!

[NJ0101]

OMG - I posted in this thread earlier and came back to see how you're doing and this is actually insane! I can't believe your ex was on here pretending to be other people! I hope everything is ok

[LonelyGirl10]

OMG - I posted in this thread earlier and came back to see how you're doing and this is actually insane! I can't believe your ex was on here pretending to be other people! I hope everything is ok

 

I don't know... the more I think about it, the more I think I was being paranoid. I'm doubting that it was actually him. I think it was just a coincidence. I've thought about it, and I don't think he would be that stupid. He knows I'm smart, and it's just hard to believe that he would think he could get away with that. But, I don't know for sure.

 

Today was really hard. I went to the beach today, which is about 10 minutes from where he lives. I picked up my phone probably 50 times wanting to text him to see what he was doing, and whether he wanted to get dinner. I was in a large group of people, and for some reason it made me feel isolated. I remember how safe I felt in his arms, cuddling on the couch. He always made me feel so safe. I wanted to text him so badly. But, I went to dinner with a friend instead. And then I forced myself to drive home.

 

The last time I heard from him was last night. He started texting again, and begging for another chance. It's so hard to read it, because I want to be with him. But I can't. I know I can't. Nothing from him today. He did tell me last night that he's getting individual counseling, and wants to try again after he fixes himself. Do you think this would be possible? Could counseling fix him?

[LonelyGirl10]

And the second that I hit post on that, I got a text message from him. It's really hard to not respond. I miss him.

[mhowe]

You were not paranoid. It was him or he knows.

 

It would.tale.decades.of intensive therapy to fix what is wrong with him.

[mhowe]

And the second that I hit post on that, I got a text message from him. It's really hard to not respond. I miss him.

 

How can you not believe the proof? And it is not him you miss...

Because it was all based on lies. You miss the man he was

Pretending to be...that man doesn't exist. The one that exists

Is a liar, a cheater and a stalker.

[Capricorn3]

Thread closed - under review.

[Capricorn3]

Thread re-opened.

[diamond78]

Girl, even Stevie Wonder can see that was your Ex posting on this thread. Don't even doubt that for a second!! And noticed how both posters disappeared after being outed. It was him.

 

The boy is looney to the max!!

 

 

Edited to Add: I just noticed that the posts from the two frauds has been deleted by the mods so there is the proof that those accounts were shared by the same person. Again, it was him.

[Cherry009]

LG you will keep suffering and going around in circles unless u block his number or change your number. i get the feeling you are enjoying the attention from him, don't you want to heal? Don't you want to get out of this misery? Are u enjoying it?

[LonelyGirl10]

LG you will keep suffering and going around in circles unless u block his number or change your number. i get the feeling you are enjoying the attention from him, don't you want to heal? Don't you want to get out of this misery? Are u enjoying it?

 

Of course I don't enjoy being miserable. I guess if I'm completely honest, there is some part of me that likes when he texts me. It makes me think that he's thinking of me, and that he regrets what he did. But no, I don't enjoy the craziness that my life has become. I really want to be normal again.

[Stay_home]

Of course I don't enjoy being miserable. I guess if I'm completely honest, there is some part of me that likes when he texts me. It makes me think that he's thinking of me, and that he regrets what he did. But no, I don't enjoy the craziness that my life has become. I really want to be normal again.

 

I guess when you've had enough you'll let it go...

[metrogirl]

A whole team of doctors couldn't fix his crazy.

 

I know that is harsh but it's reality. He wasn't thinking about getting better when he was banging the other girl, he was thinking about her and her only. He didn't care about you, I'm sure he didn't even think about you. You tell me if you think a doctor can fix that. Kinda hard to fix someone that has no soul.

[LonelyGirl10]

A whole team of doctors couldn't fix his crazy.

 

I know that is harsh but it's reality. He wasn't thinking about getting better when he was banging the other girl, he was thinking about her and her only. He didn't care about you, I'm sure he didn't even think about you. You tell me if you think a doctor can fix that. Kinda hard to fix someone that has no soul.

 

He told me that his counselor told him he was childish, immature, and selfish. He told him that he is using his relationship with God as an excuse, and that it's really a personality flaw. My ex said that after speaking with his counselor, he thinks it has something to do with his parents. They had a bad marriage, and he said that he blamed his mom for not trying hard enough. So he said that in all his relationships, he will occassionally intentionally become distant to test the girl and make her work harder in the relationship than he does. He said that when the girl doesn't work hard for him, he sees it as her not caring. And then he goes to seek that affection from someone else. He said that it's not that he actually wants the other person, it's that he's insecure and needs that affection. His counselor told him he has emotional insecurity, and that he's causing his own problems. He told him that by being intentionally distant, he's causing the girl to get frustrated and give up on him, which causes the chain reaction.

 

Idk. He did pull away in the relationship a few times. I would notice it, ask him what was wrong, and he would tell me I was crazy and imagining it. I would keep asking what was wrong, until I finally got sick of it and just did my own thing. Like right before Christmas he was distant, and I kept begging him to come home with me for Christmas. I finally told him I didn't care, and let's just spend it apart. And then he slept with the model for the first time on Christmas Day. Or when he had the cold sore, and I kept begging to see him. Then I got fed up with it, and just did my own thing. He started accusing me of ignoring him, and then slept with the model.

 

I know I can't believe anything he says, and I know everything out of his mouth is a lie. I met with my counselor last Thursday. I told her that my friends are saying I don't respect myself, and it makes me angry. She asked why, and I told her because I do respect myself. And she actually laughed at me, and told me that if I respected myself I would not still be listening to him. I guess when you put two screwed up people in a relationship together, you get what happened here.

[Cherry009]

Of course I don't enjoy being miserable. I guess if I'm completely honest, there is some part of me that likes when he texts me. It makes me think that he's thinking of me, and that he regrets what he did. But no, I don't enjoy the craziness that my life has become. I really want to be normal again.

 

That is a shame because you are disrespecting yourself as much as he disrespected you because you continue to 'like' all his attention. Your self esteem must be soooooo low

 

you dont want to be normal again, you know the one way you can begin to be normal again but you are refusing to do it (block him)

[Cherry009]

This guy is just unbelievable, his next form of blame is his MUM!! Blaming god and acting the honest 'confessing' hero didnt work on you so now he moving onto plan c) Blaming his mum!!!....,wow this just gets better and better.

 

I sense tha he isnt actually seeing a councilor and is just filling your head with more manipulating BS.

[NymphaeaLilly]

Like right before Christmas he was distant, and I kept begging him to come home with me for Christmas. I finally told him I didn't care, and let's just spend it apart. And then he slept with the model for the first time on Christmas Day. Or when he had the cold sore, and I kept begging to see him. Then I got fed up with it, and just did my own thing. He started accusing me of ignoring him, and then slept with the model.

 

From this paragraph it looks to me as if you still blame yourself (even a little) for his cheating.

This, him getting distant-you begging-he ignoring-you giving up-him seeking "emotional security" (btw. what a "lovely" euphemism for cheating), is a game that is constantly on a loop in his head and it has no alternative ending.

How much do you think you should have begged? 5 days, 10 days, a month?

In reality it doesn't matter how long you begged. The whole point of this game is to prove that the gf he's with doesn't like him and he won't stop being cold till that gf doesn't give up.

There's no winning in this game coz the ending is set even before it begins.

The only (healthy) thing in this situation is for you to get the hell away from him and this messed up loop in his head.

This game is just the proof that he'll cheat again and again and again.

[calichick007]

I don't know... the more I think about it, the more I think I was being paranoid. I'm doubting that it was actually him. I think it was just a coincidence. I've thought about it, and I don't think he would be that stupid. He knows I'm smart, and it's just hard to believe that he would think he could get away with that. But, I don't know for sure.

 

But here you are doubting yourself, when it's obvious to anyone with half a brain that those posters were either him or someone acting at his behest. So yeah, he knew he could get away with it. And he did.

[calichick007]

And I know it sucks to hear, but you are definitely exhibiting little to no self-esteem and self-respect in this situation. That's always much easier to see from the outside looking in. I hope this all works out for you somehow. Like someone else said, you seem like the type who will have to ride this rollercoaster out to the end before you get off. I don't mean that in an insulting way - some people are just like that, in that they will have to exhaust every possibility and hit absolute rock bottom before they'll exit the ride. For your sake, I hope that happens sooner rather than later.