Boyfriend confessed to cheating

[LonelyGirl10]

I'm still not 100% that it's him. I wish there was a way to prove it for my own sanity.

[diamond78]

I've told him in the past that I was on a website for advice, but not which website. I never told him the name of the website. But, I met a girl on here that I actually text with. And he asked how I met her, so I told him online. I'm not sure how he figured out which site it was.

 

But yes, I live in NC. And both SB and Faith IP addresses are showing as in NC. I knew that when I asked her where she lived.

 

 

Wow, this guy is a true bucket of crazy. PLEASE be safe. This guy really freaks me out with how far he will go to have you.

 

It's like Fatal Attraction....

[Silvergalaxy]

LG, it is him. Or someone who knows him doing it for him. Too many coincidences and what random unconnected person will not only care that much about your situation but write THIS!

 

 

 

Is someone going to so fanatically defend a person they don't even know??? And sound like they have inside information of what is going on in your life? Let's be real here. This is becoming really creepy.

[diamond78]

I'm still not 100% that it's him. I wish there was a way to prove it for my own sanity.

 

It's definitely him or someone he got to do this for him....either way it goes, he is directly involved.

 

This is too much crazy for any young lady like yourself to be involved in....

[metrogirl]

Wow, this guy is a true bucket of crazy. PLEASE be safe. This guy really freaks me out with how far he will go to have you.

 

It's like Fatal Attraction....

 

I agree.....

 

He would probably kidnap her dog/cat/bird....mother. What a nutjob (assuming it's him) which I think many of us here think it is.

 

LG, I really hope this opens your eyes to what a whack a doo he really is. For the love of everything that is holy, change your number.

[Amandacast57]

I feel like my infraction I received last night for being rude and inappropriate to SB3 should be forgiven!!!

[LonelyGirl10]

LG, it is him. Or someone who knows him doing it for him. Too many coincidences and what random unconnected person will not only care that much about your situation but write THIS!

 

 

 

Is someone going to so fanatically defend a person they don't even know??? And sound like they have inside information of what is going on in your life? Let's be real here. This is becoming really creepy.

 

She's right. I'm not giving all the details. I've talked to him more than I've admitted on here. I didn't admit it because I knew everyone would tell me I don't respect myself. But this girl or guy or whoever is right, I've talked to him more. I've talked to him about couples counseling. And talked to him about wanting to try again. But I've also kept telling him that I didn't think I could ever trust him again. And I really have continued to tell him no. But... I guess I have led him on. Because I wanted so badly to believe that he could change.

 

I haven't responded all day to him. He just texted me. It says: "I know you are reading these and choosing not to reply. I'm not sure why. But I've been completely honest with you about everything. I'll probably keep writing my journal for my own sanity but I won't contact you again unless you contact me. It seems that is what you want now even though you haven't said it. I love you. I wish more than anything you could see that. Goodbye."

 

I don't even know how to process my feelings. I don't know what I'm feeling. Too many things.

[browneyedgirl36]

It's definitely him or someone he got to do this for him....either way it goes, he is directly involved.

 

This is too much crazy for any young lady like yourself to be involved in....

 

Yep. I've been reading this thread, and this whole thing is getting pretty bizarre. I've been a member of this site for 7 years, and I have seen several instances of this exact same thing, which set my alarm bells a-ringing immediately when I saw what was going on here. It's happened before. Ex (or friend/family/current bf/gf of ex) comes on the site, pretending to be someone else -- sometimes more than one someone else -- and either is accusatory, or insulting, OR, as in this case, is making a veiled plea for his/her own case by pretending to be a third party who just happens to be really interested in the thread because he or she "can relate" to it or has "had a similar experience."

 

If this is not the case, I can admit that I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. There is no way that a stranger would be so invested in trying to "save" another poster's relationship, advocating so strongly for someone who clearly doesn't deserve another chance, unless that "stranger" has some sort of personal investment. It makes absolutely no sense. And, as Judge Judy would say, "If it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true." A good "detective" would also know that there are ways of telling if one poster is posting under multiple usernames, no IP addresses needed. There are much simpler, "low-tech" ways to tell.

 

Lonelygirl, don't respond to any more contact from your ex, whatsoever. You know what is right for you in this situation, and you need to stick with it for your own well-being. Hang in there.

[diamond78]

Hun, we knew SB3 was right because only a person privy to that information would have thought to make those statements. And the fact he has come on here, stalked you (again) by creating 2 false accounts in order to manipulate you (again) into getting back with him is sick and demented.

 

And then he turns around and outs you like that to make you look like the bad guy (again).

 

He is still the same guy even with his alter-egos on here.

 

I know it's hard to let go of someone who you believed was the one for you, but he has shown enough that he is not the one for you or for any woman. He is trying to brainwash you and it's working.

[Silvergalaxy]

His texts are so predictable. But he's good at what he's doing. Even with his online alter ego, he does not admit defeat and keeps you guessing and doubting your own sanity. If he actually leaves you alone now, he'd be doing you a big favour. Keep seeing your counselor, talk to your friends and take care of yourself. And remember, you don't owe him anything. One day, you'll be able to see clearly and you'll know that you dodged a bullet. He is scary. The worst part is that he will use anything you write on here to serve his goals.

[Amandacast57]

Hun, we knew SB3 was right because only a person privy to that information would have thought to make those statements. And the fact he has come on here, stalked you (again) by creating 2 false accounts in order to manipulate you (again) into getting back with him is sick and demented.

 

And then he turns around and outs you like that to make you look like the bad guy (again).

 

He is still the same guy even with his alter-egos on here.

 

I know it's hard to let go of someone who you believed was the one for you, but he has shown enough that he is not the one for you or for any woman. He is trying to brainwash you and it's working.

 

See LG, we all make mistakes and even though members on here told you things like how you weren't respecting yourself by continuing to talk to him or see him, no one is attacking you after you admitted you did. We are all here to support and listen to you.

[NymphaeaLilly]

This whole fiasco on the board with SB3 (aka your crazy ex) is turning out to be just the thing you need, a confirmation of what we all have been saying - something's wrong with this guy and he's never going to change (maybe just lay low for a while).

Of course you feel million emotions right now, you aren't robot so you can turn of emotions on command. You need time to heal and move on.

Try not to contact him. This is a game he plays, he knows what are you feeling and thinking via this thread but he acts as if he doesn't. Do not give him satisfaction of responding to his texts or emails.

 

We are all rooting for you LG!

[calichick007]

This guy is 100% nuts.

[diamond78]

See LG, we all make mistakes and even though members on here told you things like how you weren't respecting yourself by continuing to talk to him or see him, no one is attacking you after you admitted you did. We are all here to support and listen to you.

 

Absolutely, we are here to support you, LG!

 

And what you really need is some time and space. Time to clear your head, thoughts, emotions. Time that doesn't involve him texting and whispering in your ear reasons why you should listen to him and go back to him.

 

You need space and silence. And if he truly cared about you, he would give you that so that you can reach clarity on what you really want...

[metrogirl]

In all honesty, I probably would have had to pop a valium or ativan to keep myself sane if I had to deal with all of this craziness.

 

No one is attacking you and I think a lot of us kinda knew you would talk to him on the sly anyway because it's clear you are having a really hard time letting go. I know I speak for all of us when I say, I really hope these latest events help you to see that something is really wrong with him. He's not operating on all cylinders and frankly that is frightening to me. It's no wonder the other girl filed charges against him, he's really mentally unstable.

 

NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T BEHAVE THIS WAY!

[LonelyGirl10]

So, I sent him one final email. Mostly for legal reasons, but I'll admit I wanted a closure email. I told him that I knew he had created a fake profile on here. I explained how I knew. I told him that I thought it was sick that he was still trying to manipulate me. I also said some things that I needed for closure, like that I did really love him before all this happened. I asked him to not contact me again. And then I sent it. He immediately sent a gchat that he admits he searched multiple times for my online account, but that he could never find it. He said that he would like to read it, but couldn't find it. I didn't respond, and I logged off gmail.

 

There's still a part of me that's doubting whether I am really crazy and imagining some huge conspiracy theory. I'm sitting at work fighting tears. I feel crazy. I feel like I've lost my mind.

[mhowe]

If his lips.are.moving, he is lying. You said in your closure email not to contact you. And what did he do?

 

Contacted you. Bring your computer to someone and make sure he didn't install anything on it.

[LonelyGirl10]

He just sent another text: "I have no freaking clue what you are talking about. Clearly something has set you off and it wasn't me. All I'm doing over here is praying that I'd get another chance with the girl I love. Your online problem, whatever it may be, has hurt me and I don't even know why. Take care. I love you and I'll always be here for you and have a place for you in my heart."

 

The doubts are killing me. I wish I could somehow know 100% if it was him. I'm still not responding. Honestly. But I just wish I could make the doubts go away.

[NymphaeaLilly]

The doubts are killing me. I wish I could somehow know 100% if it was him. I'm still not responding. Honestly. But I just wish I could make the doubts go away.

 

I'm type of person who always needs to be 100% sure in everything but there's no such thing as 100% truth and sometimes it just eats me up.

For example when I was a kid my older sister told me she's a power ranger. I told her I know she's lying to what she told me she's not, that when I fall asleep she sneaks out and fights monsters. I knew she was lying but I had no proof so one night I stayed awake for a whole freaking night just to tell her in the morning that I caught her in lie. But do you know what she told me? She told me that she had a night off that night and a whole cycles of me being frustrated started again.

 

So you see...only if he confesses he's SB3 you'll have no doubts but no one will admit to violating your privacy like that, especially him after you threaten with charges.

 

Truth is what we believe it is...at least until it's proven otherwise.

[calichick007]

If it's not him, it'd have to be one HELL of a coincidence. Like on a truly, truly, truly, one-in-several-millions, mind-boggling level.

[ParisPaulette]

Hi LonelyGirl10, wow I just checked in to see how you're doing and was astonished at the dramatic turn of events with the two other posters that may well have been him. Regardless of whether those two people are who they say they are OR they were him or someone he put up to posting to you the simple fact remains--can you trust him not to dish out more emotional abuse and manipulation? If the answer is no then nothing else matters. I've been in relationships where you have to look over your shoulder at them all the time just waiting for the bad and the crazy to start again and it's just.not.worth.it.

 

The hard fact is regardless of the circumstances going through doubt and grief and anger and more are all a part of the healing process. Realize this, be kind to yourself and just understand that regardless, this guy begging you to give him yet one more chance when he hasn't done anything to deserve it--and doesn't seem to realize that or want to acknowledge it in any way--is a pretty clear sign that he's still not someone you logically probably want to be with. I know your heart is saying something else right now and it will for awhile, but it will mend and you will come out the other side of this stronger and smarter and more able to stand on your own two feet refusing to let someone else make less of you than you are. Hugs and stay strong.

 

Personally though I too find the whole thing just too freaking weird. I mean, how many times have you ever seen one, let alone two people, posting to someone who has been cheated on once let alone multiple times that they should give the guy (or girl) one more chance? Especially when emotional abuse was a big part of the package too in addition to the cheating. Two posters who both use the same sort of language, have nearly identical stories and styles of writing. Uh-huh, and I think if we all play the lottery today we might just get lucky for once 'cause folks lightning is really striking twice indeed.

[Klokwurk]

Ok, I don't know anything about the situation, but I can tell you this much: stephaniebunn was your ex.

 

It is so abundantly clear it's not funny. You can be 100% sure of this. 100%.

 

Guaranteed.

[browneyedgirl36]

I agree with everyone else here; you shouldn't doubt yourself on this. He DID write those posts -- or he knows the person/people who did -- and that in itself is, at the very least, manipulative AND dishonest. Regardless of the whole thing about the posters who are clearly your ex (or his friends) and claim not to be, one thing is VERY clear from this thread: Your ex is a serial cheater. He has, by his own admission, cheated more than once. And, he has said/done some other pretty questionable stuff as well. Infidelity is not only cheating, it's deception -- it is based in lies -- so that makes him not only a cheater, but a liar as well, regardless of his "noble" attempts to come clean and tell you the "truth" about his activities.

 

If you think about contacting him again, think about that list you made of all the reasons you shouldn't. Some relationships just shouldn't continue. This seems to be one of those. No one's going to beat you up for still talking to him -- it's hard to get over something like this -- but now you've got to take care of yourself and move forward, without him. You know what's best for you; if you didn't, you would have blindly rushed back into his arms. The fact that you haven't done this suggests that you know you can't trust him, and you know he's not good for you.

 

Hang in there.

[Cherry009]

Your ex went to school with someone called stephanie bunn.....hellooooo what more proof do u need that it is him or someone who knows him!!!!! You are not going crazy LG.

 

This guy sounds completely wacko!!!! Do u see now why the other girl got the restraining order on him!!!!

[LonelyGirl10]

So, I have not talked to him at all since yesterday. I think this is the longest I've gone so far with zero messages from him. I've been tempted to contact him off and on all day, so I decided to torture myself by looking at the model's pictures so it would kill the desire to contact him. Two things happened when I got on FB to look her up. First, I saw that she is listed as in a relationship with another guy as of April 16, 2013. So, that would be about two weeks after she filed charges against my ex. That makes me doubt his story of her stalking him and doing it in revenge. She moved on really quickly. My guess is that she started seeing the other guy and tried to stop seeing my ex, and he freaked out.

 

The second thing I learned is that his mom sent me a FB message on April 11th, which is the day I changed my FB status to single I think. She said that my ex told her that it was his fault, but wouldn't say anything else about it. And she also said that she was very sad because she liked me. So, there's another lie by my ex. He told me that he told his mom all the details of the cheating.

 

I'm still struggling. Every time I think about contacting him, I look at her picture. I imagine them in bed together, and that kills any desire to contact him for a couple hours. Probably not the healthiest method, but it's what works right now.